


Reach for my hand

by Yohao88



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-01 03:24:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 113,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5190329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yohao88/pseuds/Yohao88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summer is over and a new future awaits everyone. Haru, Makoto and Sousuke begin their new life as freshmen in Tokyo, while Rin goes back to Sydney, his eyes firmly set on his goal, on a bright future in the national swimming team with Haru, sure that nothing will be able to stop him this time. Even Haru is completely positive about that. Everything is different from when his friend left for Australia many years before. Yet distance is never indulgent enough and something will not be the same anymore, after Rin's first comeback to Japan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Departure

«Just one day, uh?»

That wasn’t the first time he felt a bittersweet sensation while staring at that tree. The “tree of goodbyes”. Going there before leaving his hometown had become a sort of unconscious ritual. A good luck charm. And every time he did that, its flowers weren’t blossoming yet. Even this time, there were only green leaves on those branches. Just like the day he told to Haru and Makoto that he was going to leave for Australia.  
He was there a couple of months before too, with Haru, right before their graduation party. Even then there were no flowers. He didn’t know exactly why, but having a chat in that place with him was something he simply _had to_ do. He had to talk to him, even just for a few moments. There were so many memories, under that tree. Too many things happened between them during the past two years, so many that he was almost wondering if they happened for real. From the day he came back there, to Iwatobi, and met him again, his life started running at an incredible speed and it became brighter than he could ever hope for. Haru… and their friends were really worth a thank you.  
Rin tenderly smiled, thinking about all the little adventures happened during that summer, now about to end. The training camps, getting lost in a dismissed amusement park, working together, spending the holidays together, living those moments together… Maybe it was a bit early, but he was already starting to feel nostalgic. His luggage was all set to leave, in his bedroom. How was living apart from them going to be, this time?  
Looking at the bright green cherry tree in his old junior-high yard and its leaves whispering in the fresh morning breeze, he lightly sighed and started jogging again.  
Just one day left before his departure for Australia.

***

Haruka sighed with resignation, sitting down on a bench in the locker room after being dragged by a pretty cheerful Nagisa into the Iwatobi Swim Club building, followed by Makoto and Rei. During their graduation party, Nagisa happily suggested to swim and train together as much as possible, before his, Makoto and Rin’s departure from that town and so they met almost every day, at that swim club or at the Samezuka one. The first times, it almost felt weird: being there all together, not because of school businesses or races, gave off a strange vibe, even if nothing was different from usual. After some training, sometimes under Gou or Sasabe’s assistance, they just swam to their hearts content and there was at least one relay per day. Even Sousuke, after recovering from the injury he got during nationals, kept swimming with them, though not at their same pace. He heard Rin telling him to cure his shoulder in order to make it to the national team at least twice, and Sousuke just replied with an apparently bored ‘Yes, yes…’ all the times, but he wasn’t going to ignore what his friend kept reminding him, without any doubt.  
As for Rin, he was sticking to him the most of the time whenever they were swimming, in order to race against or with him as much as he could. Just like when they were children.  
_Today isn’t going to be an exception…_ , he thought while putting his bag and his clothes in a locker. Hearing his red-headed friend’s voice, he lifted his head, looking at him entering the locker room with his team.

«Yo, Haru! Ready for losing again?»

Rin passed him by with a big grin on his face, while raising a hand for a high-five.

Haru lazily hit it with his own. «Stop talking nonsense. Yesterday you just won by one race and that’s not happening today.»

«Haru-chan is sleepy,» Nagisa said, while waving at the Samezuka team. «We’ll have to wake him up with a gooooooooood relay!!»

Momotarou vigorously nodded. «Can we swap team members today as well? What do you think, Nitori-senpai?»

«Ah! Yes, I agree! It’s pretty fun!» Ai replied, while undressing. «I just hope we won’t have to swim against both Rin-senpai and Haruka-senpai at the same time like yesterday…»

Nagisa vigorously patted him on his back. «Ahah!! It’s just for fun, Ai-chan! Don’t be so serious!»

Sousuke laughed at Nitori’s disappointment for being called “Ai-chan” again. «If you also make everyone choose a different swimming style as we did yesterday, the result could change. Once in a while, it’s interesting. You could swim something other than free, for once, Haru.»

«That’s impossible! » Rei replied, looking puzzled. «It hurts just trying to think about it!» He put his glasses in a locker while looking at Haruka, who was giving a nasty look at Sousuke, as if he said something outrageous. «It would be interesting, though, Haruka-senpai…»

«Oi…» Haru glared at him too.

«I wanna see that!!!» Nagisa said, while grabbing his friend’s arm again. «Yesterday you refused, but now you’re gonna swim breaststroke with me!! Hurry up!!»

«Oi, Nagisa! That’s not… Oi!!!»

Makoto laughed, looking at Haruka’s silent distress signal while he was being dragged away by Nagisa again. «Well, I wouldn’t mind a freestyle relay either. Are you all ready, guys? Let’s go!»

 

«Haru, you should really swim something other than freestyle! What would you do if the national team coach asks you to swim differently?»

After finishing his warm ups, Rin laughed at Haruka’s floored expression and, putting his goggles on, he dove into the pool.

Makoto giggled as well. «He could be right and I’d like to see that too, Haru!»

«Makoto, you too- Ugh!»

Nagisa was now clinging to Haruka’s neck, meeting his friend’s big disappointment.

«You must surrender, Haru-chan! If Makoto says so, there’s no choice!»

«That’s quite the show!» Sousuke laughed looking at that scene. «I add myself to the people who want to see you swim differently. Wouldn’t you try to race against him using backstroke, Makoto?»

«Mmmh… Yeah! Probably I could even win.»

Setting himself free from Nagisa’s catch, Haru put his swimming cap on. «What’s up with all of you, today?»

«Come on, Haru! Show me another sight I’ve never seen before!» Rin shouted, while laughing, from the other poolside.

«That’s not going to happen!»

«Ok, then if you lose, you’re gonna swim a butterfly race against me!»

«That’s not going to happen, I tell you!!»

«Come on!! Do it for me! I’m leaving tomorrow!!»

«Forget it!»

«Are you that scared of losing?!»

«I won’t lose!»

«I have your word, then!»

«Whatever! You’re not gonna win!»

«And here they go again…» Makoto sighed, while Haru dove into the pool in order to reach Rin. Then he looked at Nagisa, who already forgot about that game and was now trying to convince Rei, Momo and Ai to form a team together for the relay. «But I like it this way.»

«Yeah…» Sousuke replied, with a light smile, looking away from his childhood friend. «Well… shouldn’t we go in too?»

«Sure!»

***

«In the end, you really lost, Rin-senpai! » Momo giggled, while heading towards the club exit.

«Shut up, Momo! It’s all because coach Sasabe came here and scolded everyone for playing around instead of training!»

«But you could still try to beat him during the training!! It’s not fair!»

«I’ll retry! And why do you care, anyway?»

«Oh! Because it’s funny! Right, Nitori-senpai?»

«Eh? Uh… more or less… Ugh! Nagisa-kun…!»

Nagisa suddenly leaned on Ai and Momo with a big smile. «I’m hungry and I want to eat a giant ice-cream! Who wants to come with me?!»

Makoto opened the door, letting the boys behind him outside the club. «It’s not a bad idea. There’s still time before dinner. I’ll come! What about you, Haru?»

«Whatever,» was the simple reply.

«Then it’s settled!» Rei declared. «Let’s go!»

«Uh… I don’t like sweet things very much,» Rin said, crossing his arms behind the head.

Haru passed him by. «Stop complaining, Rin…»

«Shut up, you!» Rin grabbed his neck with an arm, dragging him away. «Just so that you know, mackerel ice-cream does not exist!»

«Then I’ll create it. And let me go!» Haruka replied with a suffocated voice, trying to set himself free.

Rin sighed and kept walking with an arm on his friend’s shoulders. «That’d be awful…»

«I bet not. »

While letting Haru and Rin hopelessly argue with each other, the group headed toward the sea shore, stopping by a small ice-cream shop on the way.

«Here. You like this sweet thing, after all, don’t you?»

Sousuke handed out  a cola-flavored popsicle to Rin, who took it mumbling a ‘thank you’, while Makoto did the same with his childhood friend, despite him saying he didn’t want any ice-cream.

«Haru, this is yours.»

«Thank you.»

A vaguely repulsed Rei looked at the enormous amount of ice-cream Nagisa was happily ready to dig in. «Are you sure you can eat all that?»

«You can bet on it, Rei-chan!! YAY! Ice-cream!!»

They sat all together on the sand or on the steps leading to the beach. Both because everyone was eating and because they were pretty tired, no one talked for a while. The light noise and the fresh smell coming from the sea were really relaxing.

«The sun is setting.»

«We can see that, Rin,» Haru replied.

Rin glared at the guy sat between him and Makoto. «Do you have to be this cold every time?»

«I’m sorry, I kinda forgot you like romantic stuff.»

«Oi, are you picking a fight?!»

«Hey, guys, calm down!» Makoto smiled at the both of them. «You seriously should stop arguing. At least today…»

«Oh! It’s true!» Nagisa jumped down from the stairs he was sitting on. «Are you ready for Australia, Rin-chan?»

«Absolutely!» Rin replied, biting his popsicle. «Ugh! This sure is cold…»

Makoto giggled and then stared at the suddenly silent faces around him. He imagined that topic would have been a bit unpleasant. Even Rin purposely changed the subject, but it was something that had to happen, despite using all the fun they had during the past weeks to keep that thought as far away as possible.  
Not knowing how to break the ice, he looked at Haru, but he was the most quiet of all, intently looking at the splashing waves in front of them. He was always silent, but this time was different. It was understandable, considering the strong bond between all of them, especially with Rin. Even if he never talked about it, Haru was being affected by Rin’s departure. Again.  
Lighting everyone’s heart up was absolutely needed. But how to do it?  
Sousuke noticed Makoto’s searching for help, and since the silence was almost starting to become disturbing, he lightly hit Rin with his elbow.

«Will you send us postcards?»

«What? It’s not like I’m staying there forever,» Rin replied. «I’ll still get back here, at least during winter breaks.»

«Ah…!» Momo run and sat next to his senpais, eagerly smiling again. «Were are you going to stay? In an apartment? On your own? With friends?»

Trying to avoid the boy’s sparkling enthusiasm, Rin hit his forehead with a finger. «You’re noisy. I’m going to stay at Lori and Russell’s place again, anyway. When they knew I wanted to go back there, they offered me to stay, like the old times, and since they were insisting…»

«They must be really nice people,» Makoto replied. «Well… I never met them, but… You can confirm that, right, Haru?»

«Uh?» Haruka, who was expressionlessly staring at the sand, startled a bit, suddenly watching his friend, then he looked at the sand again, scribbling on it with the ice-cream wood stick. «Yeah…»

Makoto gazed at him for a moment. He couldn’t blame him for acting like that. It was the same as the day Rin parted from them six years before and Haru wasn’t the type of person who’d smile no matter what. Smiling in his place was kind of his task and so he did, glancing up at Rin again.

«You’re lucky, then!»

«Yeah!»

Rin smiled back, but then he stared at Haruka too. He was ruining an already unpleasant mood, by staying there like that. He wasn’t sure that was because of his leaving or because Haru was just being… Haru as always, emitting that stay-away-from-me vibe he always used against awkward situations. That was going to be contagious and he didn’t want his departure to be a sad event. Seriously, Haru was ruining all his efforts.

«Mooo… come on, you guys!» Nagisa kneeled down behind the two boys, still licking his giant ice-cream. «This is no time to be sad!! We must party! Party!! »

While saying so, he hit their heads with his hands.

«Ouch! Nagisa! Look out with that ice-»

Rin couldn’t even finish the sentence: part of the ice-cream inevitably fell on Haruka’s head and the other part ended up rolling on Rin’s tracksuit. After a second of silence, Rin started yelling, Sousuke and Momo started laughing, Rei tried to cheer up Nagisa who was complaining for losing his ice-cream, Ai worryingly stared at Haru’s hair and so did Makoto, while the poor guy just stayed there with sad resignation – and ice-cream – on his face.

«I’m sorry, Rin-chan, Haru-chan!!»

«Don’t worry, Nagisa! Oh, thanks, Makoto.» Haru took the handkerchief Makoto was giving him. «We can wash all this.»

«Really? Waah, that’s some wasted ice-cream, though…»

Rin patted his friend on the head with a smile. «I’ll buy you another one at the airport tomorrow, ok?»

«Whoa! That’s great! Thanks, Rin-chan!!»

Rei sighed, amused. «Nagisa-kun, you’re hopeless.»

What he said finally broke the ice and made everyone laugh. Even Haruka, this time, smiled along with everyone and Rin, noticing that, couldn’t help but think that maybe it wasn’t going to be a sad goodbye, after all. They weren’t kids anymore. Being sad over a goodbye wasn’t worth it. He was the first one not feeling totally convinced about that, though, but he was doing his best to avoid looking sad. Australia was just a bit more than half a day away from Japan. It wasn’t that distant. There was even a promise bonding them, this time. Everything was different from three years before and he was finally ready to retry.

***

It was exactly like six years before. And it was such a bother…  
Haru stared at the planes ready to leave on the landing strip, outside the big glass walls in Narita airport. They arrived there almost an hour earlier than the fixed time, but the flight was late. He was almost tired of waiting. Sighing, he looked at Rin, who was chatting and playing cards with Sousuke, Rei and Nagisa on the chairs in the hall, not so far from him and Makoto. Momo and Ai couldn’t come, but they had plenty of fun with their senpai during the previous evening. After the incident with the ice-cream, he suggested to dine at his place, but he couldn’t predict that they’d end up sleeping all together on futons all over his living room. It wasn’t meant to be a goodbye party. He had fun, but… It felt just like a déjà-vu. Not being able to swim with Rin anymore was… disappointing. It was a bit childish, maybe, but…  
_There goes another departure…_ , he thought, deeply and lazily sighing.

«Are you sad about Rin leaving?»

Makoto’s voice next to him and what he said caught him by surprise. He looked at him, then he turned back to his airplanes-outside-the-window analysis again.

«Not really…»

His friend was always too good at understanding him, though talking about sadness maybe was a bit exaggerated.

«Well, even if he’ll be away, now you have a goal you can aim at together, don’t you, Haru? You won’t feel as lonely as the last time.»

«I wasn’t feeling lonely.»

Makoto looked at his awkward and irritated expression and laughed. «I know. Goodbyes are a bit sad, anyway, don’t you think?» He glanced up to Rin and so did Haru. «I hope everything will go well for him, this time.»

«It will, Makoto, I’m sure of-»

The sudden voice from the speakers interrupted him, finally announcing to the travelers that the flight to Australia was ready to leave.

«About time!» Rin stood up and took his luggage, giving a look at the colorful time table listing the next flights, while everyone else followed him through the hall.

«Well… it’s time for goodbyes, I guess», he sighed, stopping again and scratching his head, turning.

Sousuke smiled, crossing his arms. «Don’t tell me you’re going to cry, now.»

Rin replied by kicking his leg. «The heck I will!»

«Ahah! Yes, yes! Have a good trip, then!»

«Sure! And you, be sure to get that shoulder cured. I want to race against you at full power again!»

«How many times are you gonna tell me this?»

«Never enough!»

Laughing, Rin hugged his old friend, who patted him on the back in return.

As soon as Rin let Sousuke go, Nagisa jumped onto him so suddenly that he almost fell down.

«I want a hug too!!!»

«All right, all right! You can hug me too!! Ahah!»

«Have a lot of fun in Australia and beware the kangaroos!!!»

«What kind of twisted idea of Sydney do you have, Nagisa?»

«Eeeeeh? No kangaroos?»

«Not where I’m going, at least.»

Rei smiled at that scene, then he politely held out his hand towards Rin. «I will show you a wonderfully improved butterfly style, when you’ll be back, Rin-san. Well… and all the other styles too.»

«Ahah! I’m counting on it!» Rin decisively grabbed his hand, more as a high-five than as a hand-shake, with a big smile on his face. «And you could put that –san aside, by now, you know?»

«Eh? Oh… I’m just used to it…»

«Well, that’s another thing you’ll do when I’ll be back!»

Nagisa grabbed Rei’s arm, looking at him with sparkling eyes. «You must call him ‘RinRin’!!!»

«Not that one, Nagisa!!» Rin protested.

Everyone laughed again and Rin sighed with relief. He was glad about it. Till some hours before, he really thought that would have been a felt departure, with people crying and such, just as Momo and Ai did the previous evening before getting asleep. He was really surrounded by a bunch of weird guys, but he was pretty happy about it.  
Turning towards Makoto, he noticed Haruka almost hiding behind his big figure. He didn’t expect him to be good at saying goodbye, but he was hoping in more involvement than usual, at least. Sighing again, he smiled to the tall man in front of him.

«Will I find you surrounded by children calling you ‘Tachibana-coach’, in a few months?»

«Ahah! May be. I was planning to start working while I study, actually.»

«Then if I need a coach, I’ll ask for you!»

«I’m sorry, I only teach backstroke,» Makoto said, imitating Haruka, before hugging his friend as well. «Have a good trip, Rin. I want a lot of postcards and phone calls, this time!»

«It’s a deal, then! Be good to the children!»

«Absolutely!»

Haruka was still looking down. The airport floor wasn’t that interesting, but there was a weird storm of thoughts inside his head and the only way to avoid spinning like them was to fix something static. He was probably hearing his friends’ voices, but he couldn’t listen to what they were saying. He started to think about how to say goodbye to Rin the moment he knew he was going back to Australia. The last time it happened, he just saw him off with a murmured ‘See you soon’, but a lot of things changed since that distant day. Including himself… maybe?  
He saw Rin’s feet stopping in front of him, but he didn’t really realize he was there till the moment he called his name.

«Haru? Oi… are you there?»

«Uh?» He raised his head, finding everyone looking at him and waiting. «Uh… sorry… I…»

«Don’t give me your emotionless attitude even when I’m leaving for another country. It’s kinda disappointing, you know?»

Seeing his scolding expression, Haru opened his mouth to say sorry, but Rin smiled and raised a hand.

«The one who gets in the national team first wins! » he said. «And if I win, you will swim butterfly against me!»

Haru mumbled a ‘It’s not fair’ and he looked at the hand still waiting for his in front of him, then he stared at Rin’s proud smile. Really, there were so many different things. He wasn’t this fired up, five years before. He didn’t have an aim or a real reason to wait for Rin to come back. Back then, he wasn’t even sure Rin would come back. But now he was, he promised that, to the both of them, and whatever wall Rin might find on his way, in that foreign country, he knew he was now able to smash it. What he was seeing in front of him now was a sort of invincible person, shining like a star. And how could you say goodbye to someone like that? What would you wish him? He couldn’t find any words. He just looked at his hand again, uncertainly raising his own.

Rin watched him, starting to worry a bit. «Oi, Haru… are you forgetting how to talk or wh-»

But before he could finish the phrase, he suddenly found himself wrapped in Haru’s arms. Without uttering a word, he stayed there, with his mouth opened in surprise and his heart skipping a few beats. Of all the things he could expect from Haru, this was definitely the last one.

«A- are you an idiot or what?» he stuttered, feeling his lips trembling.

That was just too sudden, too much. He ruined everything! After all the effort he put in trying to keep their spirits up!

«I… I said I wouldn’t cry, you idiot!»

As soon as he said that, he broke down in tears, embracing Haru with all the strength he had, and after a second of surprise, at that sight, also Nagisa started sobbing and jumped on the two friends screaming their names, eventually followed by Rei. Even Makoto couldn’t hold back for long and just grabbed everyone, laughing through the tears.

«I told you you were going to cry,» Sousuke said, smiling and gently messing Rin’s hair up.

The redhead couldn’t help but repeatedly telling Haru how stupid he was, sensing his friend’s face on his shoulder and his hands tightly grabbing his jacket.

«And don’t tell me you’re crying too, now!» he shouted, trying to light up the atmosphere.

As a response, Haru clung to him even more, replying with a ‘I’m not crying’ suffocated by the coat he was hiding his face in.

Somehow certain of the fact it was a lie, Rin smiled, wiping his face with a sleeve. «Ok, ok… now I think I have to go or I’ll miss my flight.»

Nagisa was still sobbing next to him and the fact that even Makoto and Rei were trying to get rid of their tears despite the big grins on their faces wasn’t helping him to stop feeling like crying. His tearless goodbye was definitely gone. But it wasn’t that bad, in the end.  
Clinging to Haru one last time, he let him go, laughing because of his useless attempts to hide his red face and his glistening eyes from him.

«Don’t worry, Haru, we weren’t crying, don’t we?» he joked.

Haruka quickly wiped his cheeks with a hand, then he finally looked at him, broadening a smile and raising a hand again. «The first who gets in the national team wins, then?»

Rin fiercely grasped his hand. «You can bet on it!»

Haruka watched his beaming expression. Yes, this time it was totally different. This was the beginning of a journey, a new journey, for all of them, no matter how far from each other they were going to be. The sight of Rin leaving with his luggage wasn’t as troubling and full of questions as it was many years ago.  
But still…

«Rin!»

Hearing his name, the boy turned and Haru sweetly smiled again.

«We’ll miss you.»

Rin almost opened his eyes wide, clearly blushing.

«If you want to make me cry again, just say it! » But then he smiled back. «I’ll miss you too, guys!»

And he waved at them one last time.  
While checking in, he laughed by himself. His friend did the unpredictable and suddenly Australia was a bit further away. How did he do that?  
He was going to miss Japanese cherry blossomed Spring, after all.

«Haru, you really are an idiot…»


	2. Far Away

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get used to it.  
Haruka watched the dolphin ornament floating in front of him in the cold water, within the blue-grayish walls of that room, then he stood up, lazily climbing over the edge of his bathtub.  
Getting used to his new life wasn’t easy. First of all, Makoto couldn’t come there every day telling him to go out of the water and doing it spontaneously wasn’t easy or pleasant at all. After almost two months, there were still some closed boxes all around the room. Not to mention that Tokyo wasn’t as calm and peaceful as Iwatobi.  
Sighing, he started to prepare his breakfast. Living alone wasn’t a problem, since he was more than used to it: he liked cooking, tidying up was somehow relaxing and having no one around at home was even better.  
Leaving his hometown worried him a bit, but after all, despite his and Makoto’s new busy schedules, it wasn’t that bad. They had been forced to live into different apartments because of the location of their colleges, but they used to meet almost every day, as soon as they had some free time, for lunch, dinner, or just a coffee break.  
Most of his days were filled by trainings. The new coach was a capable man, very strict, but also gentle and fun, and the whole team was composed of hard-working people. His times were quickly improving: although he always said he wasn’t caring about them, reaching the pool edge a bit earlier each time was kind of satisfying.  
In addition to his trainings, he was attending other lessons as well, such as English, since knowing a foreign language could be essential in the future. He scoffed at the thought of that weird trip to Australia: he always hated that language, but maybe improving a bit could have made understanding people at the airports easier.  
Makoto, instead, was busy with lessons about didactics, pedagogy, teaching and so on, but he always found the time to swim with him for a pair of hours at a swim club half-way between their apartments, especially on Sundays, and since it was Sunday, that was precisely what they were going to do in about twenty minutes.  
Catching his bag, he opened the door, entering the torrid, wet summer heat of the capital. The train was crowded as always, but he managed to arrive at the meeting place safe and sound. Makoto was already there.

«Good morning, Haru! » His friend waved at him. «Did you sleep well?»

«More or less…»

«Lucky you…! I can get used to this heat!»

«Don’t worry, Makoto, you’ll be forced to.»

Hearing that voice, Haru and Makoto turned towards Sousuke, that approached them yawning. He was the weirdest new entry in their new life. After his brief adventure at the Samezuka High School, he went back to Tokyo, to live and work with his family, that had a small restaurant there, and since Sousuke knew that big city pretty well – or rather he knew the various places, but not exactly how to get there at the first try – by becoming their “Tokyo-guide”, he gradually became a regular in their lives too. They ended up eating at his father’s restaurant pretty often, or meeting at their respective places whenever they had a free evening.  
Haruka couldn’t define this new relationship. Though they were getting along well enough,  especially after the Samezuka school festival, since Rin wasn’t there anymore, he wasn’t expecting Sousuke to stay with them. He got to know him better. Actually, he was a good guy, even if they were still teasing each other often enough. They had a hard time getting along in the near past, but most of that rivalry was just a game, by now. As for Makoto, he always got along with anyone and Sousuke wasn’t an exception at all.

«Did you accept that job offer you got from the swim club, in the end?» Sousuke asked, putting his hands in his jeans pockets, while starting to walk with his two friends.

Makoto gave a disheartened sigh, smiling a bit. «Well… I did.»

«Really? That’s great! You don’t… look exactly happy, though…»

«I don’t know. I’m going to work there part time starting from the next week, but I wonder if it might be too soon.»

«I don’t think you should worry,» Haru replied. «You did a pretty good job at the Iwatobi Swim Club. Here it’ll be the same.»

«And you’ll be able to pay your own expenses,» Sousuke added.

Makoto smiled, a bit embarrassed. «Thanks, guys. Today I’ll ask them what they want me to do exactly.»

«You should get a job too, Haru. Or do you plan to live on your parents’ money for the time being?»

«Oi…» Haru protested, glaring at the black haired guy. «I’m busy. Trainings take all my time. I’ll think about work when I’ll be able to afford spending my time elsewhere.»

«Today you’re not busy. And if you need a job, my father could use another hand, sometimes.»

Caught off guard, Haru just gave him an annoyed «Tsk!»

Swimming together, the three of them, was probably the most relaxing part of the week, being at home by himself aside. Since he, Makoto and Sousuke quickly became regular customers at that swim club, someone from the staff noticed Makoto’s ability with children and he ended up receiving a job offer.  
Sometimes, even Rei, Nagisa, Gou, Momo and Ai came to pay a visit. They were doing a really good job with their swim clubs and a lot of new people joined them. A new sparkling beginning for that old swimming pool in Iwatobi High School.  
After putting his bag on a bench in the locker room, he suddenly startled because of the _bzzzzt_ coming from it. Carrying his cell phone around was another thing he wasn’t used to do.  
After finding the phone, he took a look at the screen: Rin was calling again. The promise of phoning them once in a while wasn’t getting wasted, this time.  
He brought the phone to his ear, but before he could talk, Sousuke grabbed his hand, answering in his place.

«And here’s another one who’s wasting his time.»

«Uh??» Rin’s suddenly upset voice was audible from the little phone speaker. «What’s up with you?! I’m not playing around! I’m actually pretty busy and I’m-»

«Yeah, yeah, we’re happy you called too,» Sousuke laughed.

Haruka took control of his phone again. «I’m putting you on speaker.»

«Oh! Thanks!»

Rin’s cheerful voice started coming out at a higher volume.

«You ok, guys? How’s life, there?»

«The same as it was when you called two weeks ago, Rin.»

«Haru, you’re boring.»

Makoto laughed. «Everything’s ok, Rin! We were going to swim a bit, right now. It’s scorching hot, outside. I really hope you’re feeling better in Sydney.»

«For sure! It’s almost winter, here! I’m on my way to the pool too, now. Gotta train a lot today as well.»

«So you were actually telling the truth, when you said you were busy,» Sousuke said. «Not like some slacker here.»

«Shut up!» Haruka protested, glaring at him, while Rin laughed of that.

«Well, guys, I just wanted to say hi. I reached my destination, so… time to work!»

Makoto replied, smiling. «Good job, then! Say hi to Lori and Russell from us!»

«It’ll be done! Are you getting better with English? You’ll come here and meet them, one day!»

«Ahah! Well… kind of…»

«Next time I’m going to test you! Be prepared!»

« _Yes_ , sensei!»

Sousuke laughed, looking at the phone again. «Have a good day and don’t overwork yourself.»

«Rest assured, I won’t! Bye, guys!»

Haruka greeted him along with the others and turned the speaker off, but right before hanging up, Rin’s voice came out of the phone again.

«Ah, Haru! Wait a sec!»

«What’s up?» Haru sighed, drawing the phone to his ear again.

«Times, Haru. Tiiiimes! I called for that.»

«Oh… right…»

Since they couldn’t physically compete with each other anymore, Rin started this “times-exchanging” routine, in order to see who the fastest one was even if they were apart.

«I don’t have my charts, now. I’ll text you when I get back home.»

«You don’t even remember them? Gosh… I can’t have fun, now.»

«Stop complaining and go swimming. Texting and calling overseas isn’t cheap at all.»

«I didn’t know you were this stingy. And here I’m keeping in contact with you as much as possible, you ungrateful idiot!»

«No one asked you to do that.»

«Makoto did.»

«I’m hanging up.»

«Dork.»

«Bye, Rin. Have fun without my times.»

«Oi, stop pouring salt into a wound!»

«What wound? I’ll call you later, ok?»

«Yooosh!» Rin replied, before smiling. «Have a nice day and send my greetings to everyone!»

«Sure! Bye.»

After Rin replied, he hung up, staring at the screen for a few seconds. He heard from him just a few times, since the day he left, at least by phone, but aside from rarely texting each other about their times, they didn’t interact very much. As he expected, Rin’s schedule was almost  busier than his own. Always taking things so seriously… However, everything seemed to go well for him, in Australia.

***

 «I’m really sorry, Haru!! I can’t postpone it!»

A mortified Makoto was bowing on his doorstep, soaking wet because of the heavy rain that was falling from a pitch black sky.

Haru smiled to his friend. «You didn’t have to come here just to tell me this, moreover with this weather. Come inside, I’ll give you a towel.»

«Thanks, Haru. To tell you the truth, I was on my way home when it started pouring, but your place was closer. Ah, thank you.»

Catching the towel Haruka threw him, Makoto took off his shoes and tried to dry himself a bit.

«I’m sorry. The swim club called to tell me the other teacher is ill and I have to take his place. It’s really a pity it’s the same day as your birthday.»

«I said you don’t have to worry. We’ll go back to Iwatobi during the next weekend. The fact you’re finally starting your new job is more important than my birthday. Here, I think these could fit you.»

While Makoto started changing his clothes, Haru went back to his little stove, putting a pot on the burner.

«Stay over, tonight. The weather isn’t going to change and it’s late, anyway. Did you have dinner? I was about to eat something.»

«Oh! Not yet and I’m actually starving! Thanks for the clothes too!» Makoto replied, sitting with a long sigh at the low table in the middle of the room. «Oh… what’s that?»

Haru turned, noticing the big package next to the entry door. «Oh, that? I don’t know. It arrived this morning. I think my parents sent it. You can open it.»

«Ok.»

Makoto  stood up again and took the big box. «It’s pretty heavy. I wonder what it is.»

Ripping up the cardboard, he took out another smaller box.

«Eh? Ha-Haru… I think it’s a portable PC.»

«What?»

Surprised as much as him, Haruka stopped stirring some soup, turning.

«Oh! There’s a note too. Let’s see… _‘Happy Birthday, Haruka! We’re sorry we can’t be at home in time, this year, but we sent you a present. Get used to some technology and send us lots of mails and pictures about your Tokyo life! Love, Mom and Dad’_.»

«Ugh… they get crazier every year.»

Getting closer to his unexpected gift, Haruka looked at it with a reluctant face.

«What am I supposed to do with this?»

«Ahah! You really hate electronic stuff, don’t you?»

«It’s not that I hate that stuff. It’s just useless.»

«You just have to get used to it. I’ll teach you. Let’s see… I can start it up for you, if you want. Can I open it?»

«Do as you like. Dinner is almost ready.»

«Yes, sir!»

While Makoto was messing about on the table behind him, Haru lazily snorted. Really… what were his parents even thinking?

***

«HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARU-CHAAAAN!!!»

Showing up behind the giant parfait on the table, Nagisa took his friend’s hand, shaking it vigorously.

«Oh, thank you, Nagisa,» Haru smiled.

Rei and Nagisa came to Tokyo that morning. He and Makoto planned to go back home to celebrate his birthday together with them the weekend after, but because of some changes in his schedule, he couldn’t do it and so they met at the swim club where Makoto was working, after his working shift.  
Taking another sip of his black coffee, Haru turned towards Sousuke for a moment. He looked a bit out of place, with the four of them, in a coffee shop, but Makoto insisted and he tagged along.

«Anyway you really got the job! That’s great, Mako-chan!!» Nagisa stared at him in admiration. «You’ll be an aaaawesome teacher, I’m sure of it!!»

Makoto blushed a bit, laughing because of that eager reaction. «Thanks, Nagisa! Is everything going well with the swim club?»

«Oh, yes! » Rei replied, putting his drink down. «Our new relay team is absolutely beautiful!! Right, Nagisa-kun?»

«Totally!! Ai-chan and his team will fear us!!!» the boy replied, mimicking a sort of ghost with his arms.

«Wait, that wasn’t our purpose, Nagisa-kun…»

«I sincerely doubt Momo would fear anything,» Sousuke commented, crossing his arms with a smile. «There’s no need for me to tell you not to underestimate him and Nitori, right?»

«We won’t, Sou-chan!» Nagisa replied, going on eating.

Sousuke, who still wasn’t used to it, looked so horrified by that nickname, that Makoto started laughing, Haru hardly managed to avoid doing the same and Rei just sighed. Having a complete collection of _–chan’_ s was probably one of Nagisa’s main goals in life and Sousuke was smart enough to avoid complaining about that.

«Oh, right! How’s your shoulder, Sousuke-kun?» Rei asked.

The green-eyed boy seemed a bit surprised by that question, but then he smiled a bit. «If I don’t overdo things, it doesn’t hurt at all. Plus, I’m not swimming as much as I used to anymore.»

And he looked a bit down while saying that.

Nagisa scolded him with a «Rin-chan wouldn’t be happy to hear that, you know?»

«Well, I know, but since school is over and I can’t make a living out of swimming, I have to find another way, and that means I won’t have time to swim. I’m still going on with rehabs, though.»

Haru took another sip of his black coffee. «Then why don’t you look for a job that involves swimming?»

Everyone’s eyes widened as if they could scarcely believe Haru said that. Especially Sousuke was pretty taken aback, mainly because of the fact that Haruka tried to help him. That was rare.

Makoto suddenly hit his palm with a fist. «Haru’s right! Why don’t you work at the swim club too?»

«What?»

«You could take care of older and more skilled children or even adults.»

«Yes, Sou-chan! If I’m not wrong, Ai-chan said something about you helping him in the past!» Nagisa exclaimed.

Sousuke was still looking shocked by that shower of kindness, but in the end he just sighed.

«Ok, I’ll think about it.»

Satisfied with that completed mission, Nagisa put two or three cherries in his mouth and turned towards Haru, munching. «And you, Haru-chan? How are your trainings going?»

«As always,» the boy replied. Then he noticed his coffee was finished, and, disappointed, he put the cup on the table. «I’m having another race in two days.»

«Ooooh! I bet you’ll be first again!»

«Of course he will! » Makoto stepped in, with enthusiasm. «Aside from that second place, some weeks ago, you’re really collecting trophies, Haru!»

«Whatever.»

«Stop feigning indifference. You can’t say you don’t care about times, anymore. You also look kind of happy when you win,» Makoto giggled, amused.

As a reply, Haru just turned away, grumbling a ‘shut up’ and turning a bit red. He couldn’t deny that was true. He never thought about winning as something that could be satisfying. And he wasn’t even now. There was a slight difference between wanting to win and wanting to be the fastest one and he preferred the second option.

«Whoa! My cell phone!» Makoto suddenly jumped on the chair because of the music coming from his bag, where he fumbled to find his mobile.

«Ah! It’s Rin!»

That name immediately pricked up Haru’s ears. He was kind of expecting that.

«Eeeeh? Rin-chan?» Nagisa looked at the phone, his mouth filled with ice cream. «Answer! Answer!»

«Yes, yes, give me a- Oh, Rin, hi! Wait a moment for the speaker… Ah… yes, it’s Nagisa.»

Not even waiting for Makoto to put his phone on the table, the blond boy cheerfully talked to it. «Rin-chaaaaan!! It’s been a while!!»

«Oi, Nagisa! … Are you eating?»

«Yes, ice cream!!»

«Why did I even ask? » Rin laughed. «Are you doing good at home?»

Rei replied. «Yes, it’s everything ok!»

«Ah! You’re here too, Rei? How’s the swim club? Are you biting the dust because of my former team?»

Nagisa prevented Rei from answering. «Forget it, Rin-chan! We are… uhm…»

«Equally competing,» Sousuke concluded. «Just like the old times, I guess.»

«Sousuke?! What are you doing there?!»

Hearing his friend’s stunned voice, he sighed. «They kind of forced me to come.»

«Ahah! I get it!»

«Ah! But Ai-chan is almost faster than me,» Nagisa continued. «And Momo is getting scary!»

He vigorously nodded.

Resting his head on a hand, Haruka smiled. «Weren’t you the one who had to frighten them, Nagisa?»

«Haru, where the hell is you phone?!»

Rin’s voice scolded him so suddenly that he got scared. «U-uhm… I… forgot it…»

«Tsk! I’ve been trying to call for hours! You’re hopeless!»

Makoto laughed. «Don’t get angry, Rin. He’s improving!» he said, while Haru glared a bit at him. «His parents even gave him a PC for his birthday.»

«A PC?!»

«Yeah!»

«Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!!» Rin screamed. «Go home now! And call me when you get there!»

That said, he just hung up and everyone just looked at the phone on the table, pretty dumbfounded.

«D-did he mean my home?» Haru asked, confused.

Makoto just shrugged, as perplexed as him. «I guess… so…»

And so they just took the first train and ran to Haru’s apartment, wondering what Rin wanted to do.

Makoto called him as he was told, and he answered immediately.

«Ok, now turn that PC on and do as I say!» Rin ordered.

«Ah! Now I get what you want to do!» Sousuke smiled.

Everyone else just looked at each other, in confusion, but Makoto seemed to realize whatever Sousuke realized too and he took the black portable PC, putting it on the table.

When Nagisa saw his friend turning on the device, he suddenly smiled. «Ah! Yeah, Rin-chan! That’s an awesome idea!»

«Yes, we should have thought about it earlier!» Rei said, enthusiastically.

Only Haru was still in the dark, confused by that sudden happiness.

Nagisa grinned at him. «Come here and look, Haru-chan!»

Haruka intently observed Makoto while he was busy doing something on the shiny screen in front of them, following what Rin was saying.

«Mmmh… You don’t have an email address, right, Haru?»

«Eh? No, I don’t-»

«How about _theholymackerel@ionlyswimfree.com_?» Rin said, laughing. Then, judging by Haru’s silence, he mumbled «Wait, don’t tell me you actually like that…»

Makoto laughed. «Rin, I’m done here! I used my own, for now.»

«Oh, ok!»

«And… uhm… let’s write this here… Ok, I found you!»

«Awesome, Makoto! Here you are!»

Still wondering what all that was for, Haru gave a confused look at his friends, before suddenly seeing Rin’s face appear on his PC monitor.

«Yay! We did it!» Nagisa shouted, raising his arms.

«Yeah! Hi, guys!» Rin said, lighting up as soon as he saw his friends. «It’s been a while!»

Makoto laughed. «Yeah, you’re right! Finally we can see your face again!»

«Wait, Sousuke never told you he and I were getting to talk through this?»

«Uh?! Why should I?» Sousuke protested. «I thought they had this idea too.»

Makoto awkwardly smiled. «Well… neither me nor Haru had a PC, till some days ago. I thought about it but…»

«Oh… I get it. Uh? Haru, what’s with that face?»

«Eh? » Haruka, who was still staring at Rin, surprised, just looked away. «Nothing. I was just thinking I won’t have to text you about my times anymore, now.»

«You really are lazy.»

Nagisa got closer to the screen, as if trying to see something behind Rin. «Is that your home, Rin-chan?»

«Uh? Yeah, I’m in my room, now.»

«Ooooh! It’s cute!»

«Well, I wouldn’t define it ‘cute’,» Rin complained, but he set back so that Nagisa could see better. «I’d introduce you to Lori and Russell but they’re not at home right now.»

«Then the next time!» Makoto smiled to him. «I’ll try to get a PC too, so that I’ll be able to contact you. Since I found a job, I think I’ll be able to afford one, sooner or later.»

Rin suddenly looked happily surprised. «You found a job?! What? Tell me!»

«Uh… I work part-time as a coach at the local swim club.»

«For real? That’s great, Makoto!»

«Thanks, Rin!»

«Sousuke, you should work there too, instead of working as a waiter!»

«Not you, too! » Sousuke gave up with a sigh. «They told me the same thing about an hour ago.»

«And they’re right!»

«I wonder how I can stand you all. I said I’ll _try_ , ok?»

«Ahah! Ok, Sousuke! Well, I must go, now. My teammates wanted to go grab a bite somewhere, this evening.»

«Oh… ok,» Makoto smiled too. «Then have fun!»

«I’m terribly tired,» Rin complained, leaning on his desk. «But I couldn’t refuse. I guess I’ll go.» That said, he waved at them, getting up. «Bye, guys! See you soon! Haru, I need your times.»

Haruka sighed with resignation. «Tomorrow, ok?»

Rin nodded, greeted everyone again and then logged out. Makoto was about to disconnect too, when he suddenly appeared on the monitor again.

«Oi, Haru!!»

Haru turned, perplexed.

«Happy birthday!»

«Uh?» That somehow caught him off guard. «Oh… thanks…» he murmured.

Rin grinned one last time and finally disconnected.  
Haru stared at the empty screen for some seconds, before following his friends out of his flat. Maybe technology wasn’t that bad, after all.

After a quick dinner, he took Nagisa and Rei to the station with Makoto and Sousuke, before parting from them as well. Such a sudden birthday party, but he had quite the fun.  
He took a bath and then he finally flopped on his futon, that took the place of the table like every evening. He was terribly tired. Even Rin said that, earlier. Remembering that, he raised his head, noticing that his PC was still emitting light, on the floor in front of him. Makoto forgot to turn it off. Sitting, he opened it. Learning to use it decently hadn’t been too difficult. He looked at the small icons on the window opened in front of him. As soon as he wondered if Rin could be there, an incoming call popped up again and he clicked on it, letting his friend appear on the screen.

«Makoto, what are you doing he- Oh! Haru…» Rin sat down in front of him, while drying his hair with a towel. «What are you doing still here?»

«I could ask you the same thing. You were the tired one.»

«And I am. I was about to go to bed but I saw Makoto… well, you there.»

«Did you have fun, in the end?»

«Mah… nothing special,» he replied, relaxing on his chair. «If I’m not wrong, you’ll have a race, in a few days, right?»

«Yeah, the day after tomorrow.»

«Be sure to win!»

«You don’t have to worry about that.»

Rin laughed. «I’m not worrying. I know you’ll be the fastest one.»

«We’ll see. And you? Anything new?»

«Not really. Ah! I won yesterday’s 100mt freestyle race, though I came second in the butterfly one. The other guy was a monster!»

Haruka smiled, realizing that, despite his complaints, he was actually having a lot of fun.

«Anyway, it’s boring without you, Haru.»

«But you just said that guy was a monster. I’m not the fastest one.»

«That’s… It isn’t the same thing!» he protested, then he leaned his forehead on the desk. «I want to go home.»

«I hope you’re joking…»

Haru looked at him, a bit alarmed, remembering how Rin was feeling when he came back from Australia two years before. He couldn’t bear another bothersome year like that one.

But Rin raised his head, sticking out his tongue. «I am joking. Idiot.» Seeing Haru’s relieved expression, he smiled. «There’s no way I’ll let myself down, this time, I told you! You don’t have to worry.»

«I’m not worried.»

«Yeah, yeah… Mh? What are you doing?»

Rin watched his friend standing up and looking for something, till he came back and put something white right in front of the camera.

«Hey! I can’t see anything, like this!»

Haru set the paper in his hand aside. «Tiiiimes,» he said, mimicking his friend.

Rin gave him an irritated ‘ _Tsk!_ ’, then he looked at those numbers for a few seconds and eagerly smiled.

«Ha! I beat you!» He looked for his times as well and showed them to Haru. «Here, you see?»

«Ugh… ok, but I did better than you in the 200mt.»

«Geh… that’s true.»

They scribbled down each other’s data, and as soon as he finished, Rin yawned.

«God, I’m so tired…»

«Then go to bed, instead of talking with me.»

«You’re a sourpuss as usual.»

«Tsk! I’m going to bed.»

«So do I.» Rin got up, sighing again. «Anyway, I’ll be back for Christmas.»

«But call, this time.»

«Are you dumb or what? Of course I will!»

He stared at Haru’s skeptical expression: was he still upset about those past years? He was about to fear as much, but then Haru smiled.

«Let’s keep in contact like this, ok, Rin? It’s nice to see you again.»

«What?»

Rin blinked: his friend’s new and more open attitude was seriously troubling him, sometimes.

«I hate phones,» Haru added, then.

Rin shook his head, resigned. So _that_ was the real problem.

«Well… let’s go to bed, Haru. Tomorrow we’ll be busy again.»

«Yeah.»

«Good night, then.»

«Good night, Rin. See you soon.»

Rin waved at him, watching Haru do the same one last time, before turning off his computer and sinking into his bed. He rapidly got used to his life in Australia, after all. And he was sincere and really determined, when he said he wouldn’t let himself down, this time. Still there was this part of him that just couldn’t wait to go back home. No matter how fast the other swimmers could be, racing against Haru was totally different and he was missing that feeling. As always, Haru didn’t seem to care as much as him. Luckily, time was flying. He wouldn’t have to wait much, for Christmas.  
Wrapping up in his blankets, he closed his eyes. In the past, they had been apart for four years. Only six more months far from home were going to be a piece of cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! See you next water time! XD


	3. With or Without You

Haruka rubbed his cold hands together, looking at the red traffic light on the other side of the road. He was late. Makoto and Sousuke were waiting for him at the swim club, but his trainings took longer than he expected. The coach always detained him even more, whenever a race was coming. There was going to be a relay too, this time.  
Finally seeing the traffic light turn green, he started running again, through the people and the cold wind. November was ending and winter was nearer and nearer. Between one championship and the other, minor races, school and daily life, time literally flew. He got to see some important swimming events with his college team too. His coach kept telling them that observing faster swimmers was essential and he even arranged a trip in August in order to take a look at the World Master Championship in the USA. Unfortunately, he couldn’t make it, that summer, because he got ill. When he told that to Rin, he burst into laughter, because that was just too pitiful, he said. He couldn’t help but agree. 

«Oh! Haru! We’re here!»

Hearing Makoto’s voice, he turned, noticing him a bit ahead, and he finally stopped there, trying to catch his breath.

«Sorry, I’m late!»

«It’s okay. We were waiting for a child’s mom to come and fetch him, anyway,» Makoto said, pointing at Sousuke, that apparently just finished talking with a woman near the entry door and was now walking towards them.

«Makoto, your swim club keys,» he said, throwing a keychain to him. «Oi, Haru, you’re late.»

Haruka gave him a nasty look and Makoto laughed.

«Well… Since we’re all here, shall we go?»

«Where do we go?»

«I haven’t thought about it. Do you know a good place, Sousuke?»

«What about ramen, today?»

«I want mack-»

«Can you forget about mackerel for once?»

«Ahah! I think that’s impossible, Sousuke! Anyway I’m starving, so anywhere is fine. Are you hungry, Haru?»

«More or less…»

While deciding where to go, they started walking, speaking about what they did that day. By now, they were a full-established trio, especially since Sousuke started working at the swim club with Makoto a pair of months before. Haru watched them talking, while putting his freezing hands into his pockets. After graduation, he and Makoto stuck together less often, inevitably, after all. It was true they grew up, but not having his best friend by his side almost all day was a bit weird and lonesome. Though they were friends, by now, he never went out with Sousuke, if Makoto wasn’t there too. But it was fine even this way. His life was changing, but he was so busy he didn’t even had the time to think about it. That wasn’t so bad.  
Sighing, he followed his friends through the crowd to the restaurant they chose. They had a quick dinner and after that, Makoto and Sousuke were apparently willing to chat for a bit longer, but he was so tired that he ended up leaving first. The place they chose didn’t even have any mackerel in the menu. That wasn’t fair at all.  
Putting his keys on the table, once at home, he sighed with relief. After taking a bath, moving his little table from the floor and laying down his futon, he wearily sat on it, checking for mails on his PC. In the end, he was really making a good use of that gift his parents gave him. Rin told everyone to keep in contact through video chat and occasionally they spent whole evenings talking all together through a PC monitor.  
_Speak of the devil…_ , he thought, noticing an incoming call popping out and allowing Rin to appear on the screen.

“Yo…” he lazily mumbled.

«Yo, Haru! Are you at home already?»

«I could ask you the same thing.»

Rin laughed. «I was tired. Today the coach was feeling sadistic. What about you?»

«More or less the same.»

Hearing a voice off-screen, Haru saw Rin looking at someone and, a second after, Lori’s smiling face showed up next to him.

 _«Hi, Haru!_ » she smiled. « _It’s been a while! How are you doing?»_

 _«H-Hi… uhm… I’m fine, thanks,»_ Haru stuttered, trying to remember as many words as possible.

He wasn’t able to use English properly at all, but at least he was starting to understand what Lori was saying a bit better. Once in a while, he managed to talk with her or Russell. They were always really kind and enthusiastic.

_«Rin told me you won another race. You’re really good! I bet you’re having a lot of fun!»_

_«Well… yeah, I am. Uhm…»_

Seeing him panicking about the language, Rin giggled. _«When I’ll be back, forget about speaking Japanese with me, Haru!»_ he said, still taking in English.

Haruka looked horrified by that statement.

Lori laughed _. «Don’t be so evil, Rin! Remember how much it took you to be able to speak fluently?»_

_«Ugh… that’s…»_

Hearing her words, Rin blushed and couldn’t say anything more.

 _«Anyway, Haru,»_ she continued. _«Whenever you want to come here, you are welcome! Tell your friends too!»_

_«Oh… ok, I’ll do it, thanks.»_

_«Well… I’m going to sleep, now. Goodnight, Haru!»_

_«Goodnight, Lori.»_

Seeing her waving at him, Haru smiled and did the same, watching her leave.

Rin turned back to the screen, crossing his arms on his desk, with a smile. «Seriously, Haru, if you and the other guys want to come here, I’m always here waiting.»

«I know, Rin. We’re just… busy.»

«I know. So am I, after all.» The redhead sighed resting on the seatback. «And since I’ll be back in two weeks, I guess it doesn’t matter now, uh?»

Haru pricked up his ears. «When are you going to arrive, then?»

Rin was suddenly looking pretty happy.

«I don’t know yet. I’ll contact you when I’ll decide.»

«Ok…»

«Now I guess I’ll go to bed too. Tomorrow will be a hell of a day.»

«Goodnight and good luck, then.»

«Ahah! Thanks, Haru. Gosh, I seriously can’t wait to be back there.»

«You say that every time. You are the one who decided to go to Australia, you know?»

«And I’m not regretting it at all, you insensitive idiot!»

«You’re noisy.»

Rin snorted and Haru tenderly smiled to him. «Don’t worry, we’re waiting for you.»

«I know,» he mumbled, a bit embarrassed. «Go to bed now.»

«That’s what I was about to do. Goodnight, Rin.»

«’night…»

After closing the connection, Haru flopped on the futon. Lessons were going to be over in three weeks, as well as his trainings, for the winter break. He stared at the dark ceiling for a while. Rin was finally coming back to Japan. Only in that moment, he realized he was probably as impatient as him.

Those last weeks ran by pretty fast, in the end, but he heard nothing from Rin for the whole time. Even Sousuke didn’t know anything. First, he said he wanted to come back and then he disappeared. What was that idiot even doing? The vague possibility that he could have been forced to stay in Australia slightly disappointed him. Why was he even worrying?

«Don’t worry, Haru! He might simply be busy,» Makoto smiled, while following him through the college courtyard, where they met. «There’s still time. We’ll leave for Iwatobi in two days.»

«That’s not the point. He said he’d be back in two weeks and he said that three weeks ago.»

«Well… actually he’s not even picking up the phone.» The green-eyed boy looked troubled. «Maybe we should worry after all.»

«Oi…»

Those words weren’t going to improve that situation at all.  
Another day passed and still no news. Before going to bed, Haru tried to make another call. Nothing.  
He didn’t even have Lori’s phone number. He avoided asking Gou if she knew something: if that wasn’t the case, he didn’t want to make her worry too. Spending his Christmas holidays in Australia looking for a vanished Rin wasn’t in his plans at all, but he was starting to think about something like that, by now.  
The morning after, the last day of classes, he couldn’t listen to any of the things the teacher was saying. He was just staring at the big blackboard filled with words in front of him, anxiously drumming his fingers on the desk. They had to leave for Iwatobi that same evening. He talked to Makoto about going to Sydney if Rin wasn’t going to show up and he said he thought the same thing. That was starting to become absurd.  
The vibration of his phone interrupted his thoughts. A text. It probably was Makoto that wanted to know when to leave for Iwatobi town. But looking at the screen, he only saw an unknown number. Sighing, he opened the text. It was probably another stupid ad.  
_I’ll be in Tokyo airport in less than one hour._ That was what was written on the monitor.  
Haru lazily looked at those words for a few seconds. _Wrong number_ , he thought, putting the phone back in his pocket. But then he widened his eyes, taking it back to look at the message, and he suddenly got up. Without saying a word, he immediately ran out, under his classmates perplexed gaze. As soon as he managed to get out of the school building, he called Makoto, that answered right away.

«Makoto…! Rin… at the airport… in an hour…!» he just said, while running.

Makoto answered, panting as much as him. «I… know… Haru!! I’m… I’m rushing there!!»

After praying for the train to hurry up, Haruka managed to run at home, take his luggage and then get on another train. By the time he finally reached the airport, more than an hour was passed.  
Running through the airport hall with his baggage, he suddenly noticed Makoto, who saw him too and waved. The two of them were flushed, panting and almost unable to talk.

«That idiot…» Haruka said. «I’ll punch him as soon as he shows his face here.»

«I agree,» Makoto replied sinking into a chair.

Catching his breath, Haru looked around. «And he’s not even here, yet. I hope he isn’t looking for us somewhere else.»

«Maybe he’s just checking out,» Makoto panted. «He’ll show up s- Oh! That’s him!»

He immediately stood up, pointing at Rin’s unmistakable hair in the middle of the crowd. Even Haru turned that way and, when Rin finally managed to get through all the people around him, Makoto waved at him calling his name. As he saw them, a dazzling smile appeared on his face and he ran towards them with his luggage, letting it go as soon as he got close enough to hug them both. In front of that reaction, Haru and Makoto immediately forgot about their intention to hit him and just smiled at each other, behind their friend’s shoulders.

«Welcome home, Rin,» Makoto said, tenderly patting his friend’s back.

«Yeah, I’m home,» Rin replied, laughing.

Haru could sense him squeeze them even more. «Don’t tell me you’re crying…»

«Why the hell am I always supposed to cry?!»

Rin let them go immediately. Although he looked upset, his eyes weren’t exactly dry, actually.

Noticing it, Haru smiled. «Welcome back, then.»

Rin became a bit surprised for half-a-second. He just couldn’t get used to see him smile that much. Doing the same, he opened his mouth, but before he could talk, Sousuke’s voice reached his ears. Turning, he, Haru and Makoto noticed the young man walking towards them.

«Rin, you idiot! Answer when people phone you!»

«Eh?! It’s not my fault!! I went on campus and my cell phone fell into a river! I could buy a new one only at the airport, just before leaving!» Rin protested.

His best friend grabbed his neck with an arm, messing with his hair. «Think about a better excuse!»

«But it’s true!!»

Sousuke let him go and laughed. «I know, I know. Welcome back, Rin.»

Rin smiled again, nodding, and then they all took their suitcases, finally heading for the exit.

«A river?» Haru said, catching up with his friend. «Seriously?»

«Oi, shut up, you!» Rin replied, punching his arm.

Makoto and Sousuke burst out laughing and Rin did the same, watching all of them with a tender smile on his face. He was back home, at last. Seeing something written using kanji was really pleasant, even if not as much as having his friends beside him again. He hit Haru with his elbow for no particular reason, laughing when he did the same. He missed racing against him more than anything else, and thinking he could newly do it was warming his heart more than anything else. Those months in Australia were not going to be wasted.  
Friendly tormenting him, he followed his friends to the station. The trip by train was pretty long, but they had no time to get a ticket to go by plane. That was a good thing, though, first because Rin could sleep during almost all the way back home and then because, as soon as the train doors opened, Nagisa, Momo and Ai literally assaulted him, with Rei uselessly trying to stop them, but the boy just hugged them all, answering to as many questions as possible with a big smile on his face, assuring them – first of all Momo – that he brought souvenirs for everyone. Even Gou was with them, and when he managed to free himself from his enthusiastic friends’ hugs, Rin gently patted her head.

«Yo!»

She warmly smiled, but then she took a look at his whole figure. «Aren’t you a bit more muscular, onii-chan?»

Rin sighed, resigned. «Will you ever stop with this obs-»

«Oi, Rin-chan, what do you have for us?» Nagisa appeared in front of him again, followed by Momo, their eyes sparkling with curiosity.

«Yeah, yeah, Rin-senpai! We want souveniiiirs!!»

Sighing, Rin grabbed the both of them with his arms, dragging them away while ordering them to wait and refusing to listen to their complaints.  
After that noisy and happy reunion, they agreed to meet all together the day after. Rin went home with Gou and Sousuke, since his friend didn’t have a place to stay at, in that town, and Haru just followed Makoto at home, having dinner at his place, which made Ren and Ran rejoice twice as much. His parents were somewhere around the world because of work, as always, but it was better that way.  
After greeting Makoto and thanking his family, he climbed the stairs leading to his house. Being there again gave him a peaceful feeling and the first thing he did after unpacking everything was obviously taking a long bath in his old bathtub. Playing with the water surface, he lightly sighed, relaxing against the wall. He somehow imagined everyone’s, and especially Rin’s return to become something… grand. Nagisa, Rei and all the people they left at their hometown always looked so eager about them going back home, but everything suddenly became normal the moment they left the station. He wasn’t complaining about it, rather he was glad this happened. A little old-days normality was everything he wanted.  
Anyway, the fact that Rin was back to Japan was worth celebrating. And the only proper way to celebrate his comeback was to meet at the swim club.  
The noon after, coach Sasabe eagerly let them in even if the club was closed to the public.

«Rin! It’s a pleasure to see you again!» he said, enthusiastically patting the boy’s shoulder.

«Ahah! Same goes for me, coach!»

«Then I can still be your coach, uh?»

Makoto laughed. «You’ll always be our coach!»

«Oh, I’m honored, Makoto! Well, then, Rin, why don’t you show me what you’ve learned in Australia?» The man looked for Haruka, inviting him to get closer. «Same goes for you, over there! I want to check what my young men aiming for the national team are capable of!»

Approaching them, Haru watched both Rin and his coach and then he slightly blushed and snorted, looking elsewhere. Expectations weren’t a burden anymore, but he couldn’t avoid feeling a bit uneasy about that topic. He wasn’t cut out for ambitions. His only goal was doing the best he could.  
Suddenly feeling Rin’s arm on his shoulder while they were walking towards the locker room, he turned, noticing the big grin on his face. He didn’t say anything, but it was clear he was dying of impatience.  
The whole atmosphere, between all of them, was filled with a strange feeling, similar to that determination they felt whenever their teams had to race against each other. Now there weren’t teams anymore, or rather they were a whole big team. That was what Haru thought, seeing the eight of them all together beside that old pool, warming up and chatting together.

«Haru…»

Rin was leaning on his shoulder again.

«Do you want to have fun or should we get down to business?» he asked, with a smile.

Haru smiled back. «One does not exclude the other, I think.»

Rin laughed and then waved at Sasabe. «Sasabe-coach! Do you feel like registering our times? And maybe check who wins…» he added, putting his goggles on with a determined grin.

Nagisa happily ran towards them. «Yeah, yeah!! I wanna see your race!!»

«Yeah, Rin, let us see how fast you got,» Sousuke said approaching them as well, with Makoto, who added, smiling «Be careful, Rin. Haru is beginning to be pretty scary, by now.»

«I perfectly know that, Makoto, but I could be even scarier, you know?»

Without saying a word, Haru put his feet on the diving board, seeing Rin do the same with the corner of his eye and hearing the usual snapping sound coming from the elastic band of his goggles. Smiling a bit, he got into position, while Sasabe was preparing the chronometer. That was nostalgic.

«Ok, guys! 100mt freestyle, like the old good times!» the man shouted, raising his whistle.

Rin gave a rapid look at the guy next to him, who looked extremely concentrated on the water in front of him. His heart was literally burning. He waited so much for that moment and now here he was, next to Haru again, sensing him emitting that weird dazzling energy he always felt since when they were children. Nothing could ever compare to that feeling.  
There was no sound, in that big room. Everyone was staring at them, almost holding their breath. Only Sasabe-coach’s voice suddenly broke that silence.

«Ready…!»

He whistled and, a second after, that light blue water was surrounding the two swimmers.

«As expected, his dive is still the most powerful one!» Ai said, intently observing his senpai.

«Well, Haruka-senpai’s strong point is another one, » Rei replied, crossing his arms while smiling, satisfied.

Rin knew that very well and that was what he loved the most. During each one of their races, after the start, he had always been the one in first place, mostly because of his powerful dive, but what fueled him every time was the will to prevent Haru from reaching him. He could always feel him. His presence behind him was overwhelming and, as Makoto said, almost scary, but as powerful as the sunlight.  
As soon as they did the turn, they were even already.

«They’re awfully fast!!!» Nagisa shouted observing that race with his eyes sparkling from excitement.

And he wasn’t the only one having that reaction. Right after the 50m turn, everyone suddenly started cheering for Haru, for Rin or for the both of them, laughing because of that nostalgic feeling.  
As soon as he touched the wall, Rin could hear Sasabe-coach whistle. Getting rid of his cap and his goggles, panting, he turned towards Haru that was doing the same in the next lane. He had no clue about who got first and judging from the way Haru looked at him, he was thinking the same. Giggling, Rin got out from the pool, holding out his hand to him.  
Haruka stared at him for a few seconds. There had always been Makoto’s hand, in front of him, after a race or a training session. Seeing Rin there, in his place, was something completely new. Smiling, he took that hand, getting out of the pool as well, then they both turned towards their coach, looking for answers. But the man just shrugged at them.

«I’m sorry, guys, I couldn’t understand who won, using just a chronometer. If there was a difference, I couldn’t see it.»

«Ugh, that’s unfair,» Rin complained.

«But seriously, boys… You exceeded my expectations.»

Sasabe was looking at the chronometer with an astonished expression and when Rin approached him and saw those numbers, he widened his eyes as well.

«Are you sure this is right? If so, I think I just broke my record.»

Even Haru was looking at that result, pretty surprised.  
They stared at each other without saying a word, but what they wanted to say was written all over their faces. There was no helping it: every time they raced against each other, they always obtained stunning and unexpected results. It was something that couldn’t be changed and couldn’t happen with anyone else.

«But this is not fair,» Rin complained, scratching his head. “I want a re-match. And I’ll be sure to win this time.”

«I’m ok with it, » Haru replied, putting his goggles on again.

Makoto sighed. «And they’re at it again.»

Everyone laughed, observing the two boys that were getting on the diving boards while bickering.  
They spent the whole afternoon at the club, mostly playing around in the water. Rin and Haru were determined to race against each other till the moment one of them could manage to win, but after the fifth race, Nagisa, tired of them being by their own, suddenly dove in front of Haru. With the both of them almost suffocating, Haru because of the scare and Rin because he started laughing while his face was still underwater, their competition for that day definitely ended. Even the random races they all had against each other ended up in a game. After seven months apart, staying together like that was the best thing ever.

«It sure is cold here! »

Rin shrugged in his coat, rattling as soon as he went out from the club. He wasn’t used to that temperature anymore.

Makoto laughed. «Well, after all, tomorrow is Christmas, Rin! Oh! By the way, Haru…»

«At my place, tomorrow evening,» Haru replied, puffing on his hands and putting them in his pockets.

«Do you need a hand with the dinner?» Rin asked, but Haru just shrugged.

«No, I’ll manage-»

«Then I’ll help you.»

«Oi, I told you-»

«Sousuke, you’re coming too, right?»

Haru surrendered with a sigh and Makoto laughed. Telling Rin what to do was useless as always.  
After greeting everyone, Rin took Sousuke to the station, while Haru left with Makoto, in order to buy what he needed for the dinner. It was going to be a long day.  
 

***  
 

Christmas morning began with a phone call from his parents wishing him a nice day and telling him they were enjoying themselves overseas. The usual thing. He didn’t expect them to come back and that was exactly why he invited everyone over, but since his house had been empty for quite some time, he had to clean it from end to end. By midday, he was tired already.  
Opening his fridge, he took a look at all the stuff he bought. He programmed the menu days before. He always enjoyed cooking. If it wasn’t for swimming, he’d probably have chosen a career in the catering industry. In his own mackerel-based restaurant for sure.  
Within noon, Makoto joined him, helping him with decorations and tidying up. He refused to touch anything in the kitchen, though. They both knew he wasn’t exactly good at cooking, but in a way or another, Haru managed to have most of the food done within the meeting time even without his help.  
He was thinking that he had still one hour left before everyone’s arrival, when he heard a ringing noise and Makoto’s voice telling to whoever that was that he was coming. Anyway he already suspected who the guest might be and the voices he heard confirmed what he was thinking.  
After a few seconds, Rin peeked out from the door with a “Yo!”, together with Ai, Momo and Sousuke.

«You’re too early.»

Haruka glared at him but his friend ignored him and went in.

«I told you I’d come to help.»

«I don’t need help.»

«Then I’ll help Makoto.»

«Do as you-»

He suddenly froze and Rin watched a horrified Haru staring at the open fridge. He got closer, perplexed.

«Haru, what is… UGH!»

The beautifully done Yule log that Haru had made that morning was proudly standing in the center of the fridge, but the pack containing the fish somehow fell and the liquid inside it was pacifically dripping onto the cake.

«You… and your damn mackerel…» Rin commented, while staring at that disaster.

«Oi, it’s not the mackerel’s fault!»

«You’re hopeless…» Rin sighed, looking around. «Do you have any more ingredients? I’ll make another one. You go on with the rest.»

«What? Are you sure you’re able to?»

«Who do you think you’re talking to? Come on, let me handle this.»

That said, he rolled his sleeves.  
Makoto and Sousuke went into the kitchen as well.

«What happened?» the first one asked.

«Oh, nothing…» Rin replied. «Haru’s obsession for mackerel ruined the cake, but I’ll make another one.»

Haru looked even more offended, while discarding his cake, but in the end he handed the cooking book to Rin.

«Are you sure you can do it in time?»

«Stop doubting! Believe it or not, I’m a good cook!»

Makoto laughed. «Well, then! We will take care of the living room. Tell us, if you need a hand!»

One way or another, they managed to prepare both the dinner and the cake just in time.

«MERRY CHRISTMAS!!» Nagisa shouted as soon as he came in with Rei. «Oh! Rin-chan, what are you doing with an apron?»

«I’m saving your dessert from the mackerel demon,» he replied, while mixing some chocolate frosting nonchalantly standing on the kitchen door.

Even Ai was intently observing his senpai’s doing. «I didn’t know you were able to cook,» he commented, while both Momo and Nagisa were almost drooling at the sight of the bowl full of chocolate.  
In the end, the dinner was a success. Rin kept complaining about mackerel even though he had a serve of each dish twice and Haru told him he could have done a better job with the cake, since it wasn’t as good looking as his own, but when he tasted it, he just shut up, refusing to admit that it was actually pretty good.

«You weren’t lying, when you said you were a good cook!» Makoto said, complimenting with Rin.

Nagisa nodded with enthusiasm. «You’re definitely good! When you’ll be too old to swim, you could open up a pastry shop with Haru-chan!»

«What?! Not a chance!» Rin protested.

Sousuke laughed. «Then you’ll be a coach?»

«Why do I have to think about that now?!»

«I can’t picture Haru-chan as a coach,» Nagisa commented, while munching his third piece of cake. «But maybe he could do a nice job!»

«As long as I can swim, anything is ok,» Haru replied, putting his plate on the table.

«As expected from Haruka-senpai,» Rei added, making everyone – except Haru – laugh.

They spent the evening chatting and laughing, but at some point, Nagisa decided to start a sort of poker tournament. Rei retired after two games because his blonde friend was terrifyingly good at it, Ai and Momo resisted a bit more, Rin lasted even longer but he couldn’t hide any joy or disappointment, while trying to bluff, and the same surprisingly happened to Haru, who, despite his apparently everlasting poker face, resulted in being perfectly readable during a game. Sousuke got caught in a merciless challenge between Nagisa and Makoto, who was unexpectedly good at that game too and who even ended up winning, with great disappointment of his adversaries.

«As expected from our former captain!» Rei commented, while Nagisa was complaining.

«It’s not faaaaair!! I want to play another match! Who wants to join me?»

«It’s ok, with me!» Makoto replied, smiling satisfied.

 Also Haru, Momo, Ai and Sousuke opted for another round. Only Rin stood up, stretching and yawning.

«I’ll pass. I need some fresh air.»

That said, he went round the table, opening the door behind Haru and Makoto and closing it again. Then, he slightly opened the porch door too. It was pretty late, by now, and also pretty cold. He smelled the freezing air: in Australia there wasn’t anything like that. Even winter was kind of warm. Sighing, he leaned to the door frame. Being at home again was definitely awesome.  
He stayed there for a while and only after some time he heard the sound of the door opening behind him.

«What are you doing here, Rin? You’ll catch a cold.»

Haru closed the door again, crossing his arms because of the frigid air.

«Don’t worry about that, Haru,» Rin replied, smiling. «And you? Why are you here?» Then he grinned. «Don’t tell me you lost already.»

Haru snorted, turning away. «Shut up.»

Rin giggled again. «Just now I was thinking that there isn’t even a proper winter in Sydney.»

«That’s nice. I’m not very fond of winter. You can’t swim as much as you want.»

«Ahah! As expected from you. Now you shouldn’t have to worry about it, though, don’t you? You can swim as much as you want, in college.»

«That’s right, I guess.»

Haru observed his friend for a while: he was intently looking at the stars outside the door, almost as if he missed them too.

«Rin…»

«Mh?» the redhead replied, without moving.

«Are you enjoying yourself in Australia? You never properly told us how your school and your teammates are.»

This time Rin turned to look at him, a bit perplexed. «Well… I’m doing fine, I told you. That school is a nice place and I like my teammates. Some of them were in my team even three years ago.» After a moment of silence, he smiled. «What about you, then?»

«Nothing special. My coach is strict, but he’s a nice person. Even my teammates are ok.»

«Relays?»

«We’re getting good at it.»

«I guess you’re always the last leg.»

«I guess so too.»

They both smiled, then Rin turned back to his stargazing. Haru did the same. He could hear their friends voices coming from the next room. Judging from the screams, Nagisa was going to win, this time.

«You know, Haru…»

Rin’s voice interrupted his thoughts. He observed him: he was still looking at the sky.

«Even if I told you I’m doing fine, it’s different, without you.»

Haru felt a little surprised but also slightly worried. Rin being nostalgic was always a legit reason to worry.

«What do you mean?»

Rin curved his lips once more. He wasn’t actually able to define that feeling. Distance? Kind of. But that wasn’t it. Of course they were distant, but… Being by Haru’s side again filled him with a strange mix of happiness and energy, a bit different from when they were still in high school and more similar to the first time they met. Just like then, Haru was still shining ahead of him, yet something was off.

«Who knows… I wonder…»

Hearing his words, Haru frowned, a bit disturbed by that uncertainty. «We keep in contact the whole time. And I give you my times.»

«I know, but… you saw what happened yesterday.»

«You mean… our new record?»

«Yeah. I couldn’t hope for such a result, if I wasn’t swimming against you. Judging from your face, it was the same for you.»

Haru just stayed silent.

«I’m not regretting anything, you know?» Rin continued. «Maybe it’s really better this way. We train apart from each other, trying to be the fastest ones, and when we’ll race against each other again, we’ll be even faster, don’t you think?»

While saying that, he smiled, determined, but then he waited for some kind of reply from Haru, without receiving it. His blue-eyed friend was looking at the floor, expressionlessly as always. He stared at him for a few seconds, then, suddenly rattling, he closed the door.

«It’s getting cold here. I’m going in.»

«Rin…»

The boy, who just held out a hand to open the door, turned towards him.  
After a moment of silence, even Haru looked at him, gently smiling.

«I’m really glad I could swim with you again.»

Hearing those words, Rin stood there for some seconds, completely dumbfounded. Haru’s rare straightforwardness in expressing his feelings always caught him off guard and this time was not at exception. Was he supposed to be happy because of those words? Maybe, but the first thing he clearly felt was a slight pain somewhere around his chest. Were they so distant from each other that Haru had to say such a thing? He was aware of that, but he never really thought about how much their lives were different, now. It was weird. Or rather, weirdly sad. Why did it have to be that way?

Seeing him stop, Haruka opened the door in his place. «Weren’t you going to come back in?»

«Uh? Oh… yeah…» Rin murmured, following him.

After a while, since it was getting late, everyone decided it was time to go to sleep. Greeting Haru and thanking him for the hospitality, Rei and Nagisa went back home first and then also Rin and Sousuke with Makoto, Momo and Ai left. The little group said goodbye to Makoto after a few meters and then they calmly walked towards the station.

«I had a lot of fun! Can we do this every day?» Momo asked, enthusiastically running around while waiting for his train.

Rin sighed with resignation. «Are you even able to get tired?»

«I think not, Rin-senpai,» Ai replied, with a defeated sigh.

In a few minutes, Momo and Ai’s train arrived and they left, waving at their senpais through the window.

Taking a look at Sousuke, who was still looking at the railway, Rin smiled. «I’m happy you befriended Haru and Makoto. I was a bit worried, because you can be kind of a loner.»

«What?» Sousuke looked uneasy. «I haven’t befriended them. They are the ones who keep looking for me.»

«Yeah, yeah…» Rin laughed.

«And you? Glad to get to swim with Haru again?»

«What?!» The boy tried to look anywhere but at his friend. «That… not really.»

«Yeah, yeah…» Sousuke mimicked him. «I know you like swimming with him. You left our school, in order to do that.»

Rin refused to reply, slightly embarrassed and clearly a bit sorry too, but Sousuke smiled.

«I’ve always told you I’m not upset about what you did and now things are the same as back then again, right? There’s nothing wrong in wanting to race with someone who can push you forward.»

«Push forward, you say?»

Rin looked down, remaining silent for a few seconds. If only it was that simple…

«Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve asked him to come with me. Or… if I should’ve stayed here.»

«You said you went to Australia because that team was really strong.»

«Indeed! But…»

«Then why don’t you ask him?»

«He’d refuse for sure. And it’s better this way.»

«You’re weird…»

«He’s even sending me his times, but it’s not the same thing and I don’t know why!» Rin snorted, feeling somehow irritated. «I’m swimming against a number and I’m talking to a person on a screen. It pisses me off. Maybe I’m just not cut out for long-distance relationships.»

Hearing those last words, Sousuke laughed out loud. «You almost make it sound like you’re in love!»

«What?!» Rin looked horrified. «That’s gross!»

Sousuke kept laughing and in the meanwhile a train stopped in front of them.

«Well, this is my race,» he said, calming down and sighing. «Don’t think about that stuff too much. You’re worrying for nothing. Just enjoy your little vacation here.»

«Ok…»

«Goodnight, Rin.»

Rin looked at his friend’s smile, while the train doors were closing, and waved at him before leading towards the exit. He was really upset. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t find a solution to the fact that he was unable to give his best while being separated from Haru.  
Once at home, he sank into his bed with a deep sigh. He knew that Haru always pushed him forward like no one ever did, but he wanted to go forward with his own strength. About a year before, in Australia, he clearly told him that without him he had nothing to aim for. Thinking about that now was kind of embarrassing. That time the mood was really weird: he was still sorry for what he said to Haru during nationals, while Haru was absolutely depressed and he couldn’t stand seeing him like that. Was he being selfish because he didn’t want Haru to leave the swimming world or was he just trying to cheer him up? Both the options were neither right nor wrong. But what he told him in that moment was truer than he could ever imagine. He began to understand it only after starting to live apart from him.  
Sighing again, he changed his clothes and went straight to bed. What was he even worrying for? Even Sousuke asked him that.  
He suddenly remembered Haru’s smile and what he told him earlier while they were talking on the porch, and his heart awkwardly skipped a beat. Wrapping himself in his blankets, he closed his eyes. Till the moment he heard those words, he didn’t realize how much he needed to hear them. After all those months, being with Haru again was weird. Being so happy about it was weird.

 _I almost make it sound like I’m in love_ , he thought, mimicking in his mind what Sousuke joked about.

Why was he even thinking about a stupid thing like that, now? There was no way he could have taken those words seriously. Yet…  
Why was he that obsessed? Was that really just a strong obsession? He always linked everything to swimming or to the excitement that swimming with Haru always filled him with, but now they weren't swimming together anymore and living far from Haru forced him to acknowledge the actual existence of a feeling different from anything he felt towards any other friend. It showed up slowly, during all the time they spent together, and silently, but it was there. And since he couldn’t believe it, deep inside he unconsciously pretended it didn’t exist. He tried to convince himself that even Sousuke was a precious friend and rival just like Haru, but his Australian parents occasionally pointing out how much he used to talk and was still talking a lot about his favourite adversary made him notice that Haru was the only one receiving that treatment. And it was true. Whenever even only his name was involved, everything else ceased to exist. It had always been like that, since the day he met him.  
He knew it, he knew that Haru was special. But being _that_ special… Was it even possible?  
He couldn’t wait to go back to Japan, to see him again. He needed his presence. He needed to stay by his side. Without him, his life was incomplete. He thought that was because Haru was his most treasured rival. He tried to believe that he was wrong, that it was like that even with Sousuke or Makoto. He thought it was just a matter of distance, a bit of nostalgia, that would disappear once he was back in Japan. What happened, instead, was more or less the opposite. The happiness he felt when he saw him at the airport was almost making no sense.  
After the fight they had during their second year of high school, he had been pretty open about his feelings, his missing him when he started living in Sydney, hoping it was just a matter of repressed words inflating what he was feeling, a matter of being sincere both with himself and with Haru. After almost destroying the relationship he had with him, he learned that being a bit more honest could be good. At a price, apparently.  
He wasn’t able to be apart from him. And he tried, he really tried to ignore that sensation.  
Taking a deep sigh, Rin opened his eyes again, listening to the annoying heartbeat in his chest. The fact that what Sousuke jokingly said wasn't out of place at all was worrying. And admitting he was finally starting to wonder the same thing was even worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! See you next water time! :)


	4. Turning tides

Everything was white.  
When he opened the door, he found the whole Iwatobi town covered in snow. It started snowing the night after the first day of the year and it almost never stopped for two days.  
Rin took a look at the white sky over his head. A cloudy and freezing morning, just like the one before that. Luckily he was going to swim in a few minutes and inside pools were always really warm. He spent every day at the swim club. Even if he was supposed to be on holidays, there was no point in skipping his trainings and Sasabe-coach was letting them use the pool whenever they wanted. He couldn’t ask for more.  
Checking for the safest road on all that snow, he started jogging towards the club at a slow pace. This time, he avoided calling Haru and Makoto. Till now, they used to meet somewhere and jog together, but he was feeling like going there by his own, for once, not to mention he had to check a few things to get ready for the trip back to Australia, and so he turned down their invitation. Lately, he was just too caught in his thoughts and it was better not to show it around. Since the day he really thought about that matter with Haru, he couldn’t find peace anymore. He definitely opened a door that should have stayed closed. But that wasn’t the moment to think about it.  
Shaking those thoughts from his mind, he started to run faster. When he got at the swim club, Haru and Makoto were already inside the locker room. Sousuke, Momo and Ai couldn’t come there every day and Rei and Nagisa had other plans.

«Yo!» he said, waving at his friends.

«Hi, Rin! Good morning!» Makoto replied, immediately noticing his red nose and cheeks. «You came here running too, in the end?»

«Yeah, I almost fell down two times slipping on the ice,» Rin complained, starting to undress. «What are the plans for today?»

Makoto tried to get rid of his shirt. «I just want to swim as much as I can. Yesterday I covered a good distance.»

«Ahah! Lucky you, coach!» Rin joked, laughing. «Are you enjoying working with children?»

«Oh, a lot, Rin! It’s really gratifying.»

«You have to go back this evening, right?» Haru asked, putting his belongings in a locker.

«Yeah, morning shift…» Makoto sighed. «I wanted to stay here till your departure, Rin, but I have to work.»

«Don’t worry! After all I’m leaving the day after. I’ll come to that club to check if you and Sousuke are doing a good job!»

«Ahah! Ok, then!»

«My parents should also be back home tomorrow,» Haru said, sitting on a bench while waiting for his friends. «We could go to Tokyo together, Rin.»

«Got it.»

After finishing his warm-ups beside the pool, Makoto dove in first, starting to swim at a relaxed pace.

«What do we do, today, Haru?» Rin asked, putting his hands on his hips.

«I don’t know. Today there’s no one who can take our times.»

«That means we won’t be able to know who wins.»

«Looks like it,» Haru sighed, thinking for a few seconds and smiling. «Why don’t we just join Makoto, then?»

«Mh, it’s fine with me.»

Rin smiled back and followed his friend. Relaxing once in a while couldn’t be a bad idea.  
Once on the diving board, he was about to put his goggles on, but he stopped, observing Haru who just dove and was now pacifically swimming towards the opposite poolside. He could never get tired of watching him swim. If he had to describe perfection, that would have been the ideal image. Yeah, everyone with a bit of experience always got caught by Haru’s beautiful form, but his heart fluttering like that was a completely different topic. If only Haru’s swimming was the only thing unsettling him…

«Oi, Rin! Aren’t you coming too?!»

From the other edge of the pool, Makoto was calling him, making him get free of those thoughts.

«Yeah!»

And putting his goggles on, he finally dove.  
They ended up swimming to their hearts content for the whole morning. When they decided to go home, it was past midday.

«If you want, you can have lunch at my place,» Haru suggested, while walking out of the club.

«Count me in!» Makoto answered. «You are coming too, don’t you, Rin?»

«Ah… Sure!»

While they were heading towards home, the pale winter sun finally started to appear, behind the clouds, but the temperature was still freezing cold.

«Be careful with those stairs. They were covered in ice, yesterday,» Haru warned his friends, while climbing the stairway leading to his house. «It rarely snows this much here.»

«You’re right, Haru,» Makoto answered, watching his steps.

«But I like it this way,» Rin added. «The whole town being this white is totally-»

« _Romantic?_ » Haru said, mocking him.

Rin avoided replying, snorting offended, and Makoto just laughed at that scene.  
Once inside, after taking off his shoes, Rin peeped inside the kitchen where Haru had just entered.

«What are we going to eat?» Then he looked disgusted. «Don’t tell me there’s only mackerel again.»

«There’ll always be mackerel.»

«You’re hopeless, Haru. Give me that, I’ll cook the rice.»

Even Makoto went in with a smile. «I’ll get the dishes, then.»

After preparing lunch together, they all sat at the table, satisfied with the result of their teamwork.

«I’m starving!» Rin exclaimed, looking at the food.

Makoto laughed. «Weren’t you tired of mackerel?»

«Well, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m starving.»

«Ahah! I guess it’s true.»

Upset by those words against his favorite food, Haru started eating, scoffing at the both of them.

«Are you ready to go back to Australia?» Makoto asked, filling Rin’s glass.

«Thanks, Makoto. And yeah, mostly,» was his friend’s simple response, before going on eating.

«Was it hard to get accustomed to that country?»

«Not that much. The first time I went there, I was really young and so I got used to everything quite soon. Maybe, going there for the first time now would have been worse.»

«You sound like an old geezer,» Haru commented, without gazing away from his lunch.

Rin glared at him. «Oi, you…»

Makoto was already getting ready to stop them, but luckily, Rin dropped the topic immediately.  
They spent a few hours chatting, and before evening they met at the station with Rei and Nagisa.

«And you, Rin-chan? When will you leave?»

«Tomorrow, Nagisa.»

«It’s a pity you’re going back already,» Rei added. «I hope we’ll meet soon.»

«Without any doubt!» Rin replied, smiling.

«Haru…» Makoto, who was waiting for the train with his friend a few steps further, lowered a bit towards him. «Don’t you think Rin looks a bit down, lately?» he whispered.

Haruka observed the red-headed boy, who was still talking with Rei and Nagisa with a smile on his face. So he wasn’t the only one who noticed it.

«It’s probably because he has to leave again,» he replied.

But he was a bit bothered by the same thing. He was acting as usual, yet something was a bit strange.

«Why are you staring at me?» Rin turned, noticing his friends’ eyes on him.

«Eh? Oh, nothing!» Makoto replied, with a smile. «I was just thinking that I can say goodbye to you tomorrow, instead of now.»

«I guess so.»

«It’s not fair,» Nagisa complained. «We can’t come to Tokyo with you.»

«Come on, Nagisa! We’ll see each other through our PCs!»

The boy seemed to be convinced by Rin’s words and nodded with a big smile on his face.

«Ah! My train!» Makoto exclaimed, getting closer to the railway, with his luggage. «Well, guys, I have to go!» he said, smiling to everyone. «See you soon! You too, Rin!»

«Don’t worry, Makoto! I’ll come tomorrow!»

«I’m counting on it!»

Watching their friend leaving, the four boys waved at him till they couldn’t see him anymore.

«I’m not yet used to see all of you go away,» Rei commented lowering his arm.

Rin put a hand on his shoulder. «You two might join them in Tokyo after graduation.»

«I don’t know. I haven’t decided what to do after school yet.»

«Neither do I,» Nagisa added. «Though I don’t think I’ll keep swimming like you, tee-hee!»

Rin hit his forehead with a finger. «Don’t say that. I’d be glad to have you all swimming with us, right, Haru?»

«Yeah…» Haru replied, with a smile.

They all walked together till the moment Nagisa and Rei had to take another route.

When they left, Rin sighed, crossing his arms behind the head. «I guess I’ll go home and prepare to leave as well, then.»

Haru followed him along the road. «Since we’ll be leaving together, you could stay over at my place. It’s closer to the station.»

The redhead put a hand behind his neck, looking away. He wasn’t exactly feeling like it, in that moment. Or rather he was, and that was precisely why he didn’t want to go.

«But my luggage is at home and I still haven’t checked everything.»

«Oh… I guess you’re right…»

Rin observed the blue-eyed boy walking next to him. He was looking a bit disappointed. That lie wasn’t worth it, after all.

«Ok…» he sighed. «I’ll go get it and come to your place. It should be fine even if I don’t check another time.»

«Are you sure?»

«Yeah, don’t worry.»

Saying that, he raised an arm to put it on Haru’s shoulders, but he suddenly changed his mind and put his hands in his pockets instead.  
Haru noticed that. His friend usually never lost a chance to stick to him. Another weird thing.

«I also wanted to pay a visit to my old man, before leaving,» Rin added, sighing again and then smiling. «Do you want to come with me?»

Looking at that vaguely glum smile, Haruka nodded and followed him. Even if he hadn’t asked, he would have followed him anyway. He was clearly in a bad mood for some reason and he couldn’t leave him alone in that state.  
After calmly climbing on the top of that cliff over the sea and paying their homage at Rin’s dad grave,  they slowly walked home, under the sky that was getting dark, in silence.  
When they arrived at Rin’s place, Haru raised his head, looking at that building. He couldn’t even remember the last time he went there. Probably ages before.

Rin turned towards him, while opening the door.«Haru, are you coming in?»

«Oh, yes, I’m coming.»

«Ah! Haruka-senpai!» Gou’s face peeked out from a room. «What are you doing here?»

«I’m getting my luggage and then I’m staying at his place, tonight,» Rin replied, pointing at his friend with a thumb.

Gou looked disappointed, but then she smiled at Haru. «Why don’t you have dinner with us, then?»

«Eh? Gou, I’m going to be late, tomorrow!» Rin protested.

But Haru quietly smiled. «It’s fine, Rin. We’ll make it in time.»

«Tch. Ok, then. I’m putting the last few things in my bag.»

Haru watched him go upstairs and sighed. He was being a pain as usual. And he was undoubtedly nervous about something.  
Rin’s mum suddenly interrupted his thoughts, greeting him. She was really happy to see him again and later, during dinner, she kept asking him lots of things, about his school life and swimming career. He was surprised she remembered so much about him after so much time. Probably it was thanks to Gou, who possibly told her about him because of the swim club. She was so caught in her manager role that she ended up supervising the swim club even this year. Yeah, it was surely her doing.  
During dinner, Haru observed Rin being assaulted by his mom, who kept asking him if he took everything he needed before leaving. He was evidently embarrassed by her behavior, but it was clear he was glad to be at home. Maybe he really was just sad for the departure.  
After eating, he waited for Rin to pack the last things and, while walking out of the door, he watched him hug both his mum and his sister with a smile.

«I wasn’t forcing you to stay over you know,» he said, when he closed the door. «You could have stayed with your family.»

«Don’t mind that,» Rin replied. «I had plenty of time to stay with them.»

Haru sighed. Makoto was right: he was acting a bit weird, more or less since the day he came back, but during the past days, he avoided asking him why. Maybe this was a good chance to talk to him.  
After getting home, preparing a futon and taking a bath, he got into his bedroom again, drying his hair with a towel. Rin, who had already taken a shower, was lying at the foot of his bed with his legs dangling, his arms as a pillow and his eyes closed.

«Hey, Rin, go to bed. We have to get up early, tomorrow.»

«Yeah, I’m going,» he lazily replied.

Haru turned off the light, looking for a few seconds at his friend, who was still on his bed, apparently lost in who knows which thoughts.

«Rin…»

«Mh?»

«Are you feeling ok?»

«Why are you asking?» he replied, without moving.

Haru placed the towel on a chair and sat next to him, lightly bouncing on the mattress. His answer was neither a yes nor a no. So _there was_ something going on.

«You’re acting weird.»

«I’m just tired.»

«If you say so…»

None of them talked for a moment. Then Rin opened his eyes, staring at the dark ceiling. Haru was just making everything worse, by worrying like that, and the last thing he wanted was explaining to him why he was feeling that way. He had to get a hold of himself. There was still a chance that what he was going through was simply due to over thinking. Maybe it was normal. Maybe… But deceiving himself wasn’t so easy.

«Can I ask you something, Haru?»

«What?»

Hesitating a bit, Rin took a light sigh. He never had a clear view of how Haru was feeling towards him. After that time during the second year of high school, he never showed particular attachment to him anymore, when it wasn’t about swimming. They always spent most of their time fighting or challenging each other and Haru was hard to read, sometimes. He was certain of his feelings only when it came to swimming and competing. But how relevant was he in his life? For a moment, he sarcastically laughed at himself in his head: was he trying to understand if he had any chance, now? He rapidly casted that thought away by convincing himself that it was all about curiosity. That was probably a silly question, but knowing the answer to what he was going to ask was somehow scaring him anyway.

«That time in Australia…» He took a brief pause, turning towards Haru’s back. «What made you change your mind?»

Hearing those words, Haruka looked at him, a bit surprised. Why that question now?

Sighing, he laid down on his bed as well. «I don’t know exactly. I think I just… thought that giving it a try could be worth it, after all.»

«Really? After all the mess you’ve made?»

«It wasn’t a mess.»

«It was,» Rin replied, getting up. «I’m going to bed, now.»

«Ok… Goodnight, then.»

«’night.»

Rin slipped in the futon, looking at Haru, who was making himself comfortable under his blankets. He asked him that question hoping in a bit more than what he told him. He knew Haru enough to understand that trip had been quite life changing, for him, especially after what he went through during nationals. But, probably, that and the fight with Makoto were the only reasons he follow him. He was just running away, even if, after, he found something to pursue.  
What was he even expecting? To be the protagonist of his decision? What for? Ego? In the end, Haru was really swimming just because ‘ _as long as he could swim, anything was fine_ ’. Nothing more than that. He was taking things more seriously, now, but… Was he the only one caring so much about them staying together?  
He was pretty sure that Haru could go on swimming even without having to aim at him the way he wanted to aim at Haru. Yes, Haru was way more motivated, whenever they swam together, but that wasn’t the same thing. He wasn’t that fixated with him. If they could swim together, it was better, but if not, it probably wasn’t that much of a trouble for him.  
Instead, the last time they raced against each other, he suddenly understood that without Haru he wasn’t able to give his best. And that time, during nationals, when Haru just stood up in the middle of that pool, he felt as if his whole world was going to crumble. It was true he did it also for Makoto, who asked for his opinion and help, but that wasn’t the main reason he took Haru to Australia. He wanted to lift his mood, yeah, but… That was the last chance to keep swimming with him. If he ended up choosing a different path, he was ok with it, but not before trying everything he could do to keep him from leaving. With the passing of time, he understood that without Haru he wasn’t going anywhere. Without Haru, he’d have probably just ended up against a wall, the same way he did about three years before, even if he was determined to go on, even if he wanted to fight for his own dream. Was he really that weak, in the end? Was Haru his weakness? Was he _actually_ a weakness? What was Haru to him exactly?  
He wasn’t able to shake off those feelings from his heart.

***

The day after, he and Haru left for Tokyo in a rush by plane and immediately headed towards the swim club where Makoto and Sousuke were working, waiting till their friends could take a break.

«Haru, you could have left your luggage at home,» Makoto told him, seeing the trolley the boy was carrying with him.

«There wasn’t enough time,» he replied. «Otherwise I can’t take Rin to the airport.»

Rin sighed. «I can go there by myself, you know.»

«I’ll go with you anyway.»

«Tsk! Do as you like,» Rin snorted.

Why the hell was he sticking to him, now? He was looking cautious, as if he was worried about him. Was it because of the talk they had the night before?

«Oi, Rin…» Sousuke approached them as well. «Have a nice trip.»

«I really can’t picture you as a coach. Even though you coached Ai…» Rin said, sizing him up while smiling, amused. «This uniform really suits you,» he joked.

Sousuke punched his arm. «Shut up.»

«When will we meet again, Rin?» Makoto smiled.

«I don’t know. But I’ll tell you as soon as I’m able to come here.»

«Be sure not to lose your phone in a river,» Sousuke said, laughing.

This time, Rin kicked his leg.  
After greeting their friends, he and Haru headed to the airport again.

«I should have about half an hour left before the check in,» Rin said, checking his clock. «You can-»

«I’ll wait,» Haru declared, sitting on a chair.

Rin gave him an annoyed look, plopping down next to him. «I told you I can wait by my own!»

But even if he said that, he was actually feeling relieved by the fact Haru was with him, no matter how much he wished he could hate that sensation.  
For a while, they just sat there. None of them was feeling like talking, apparently, but that silence was becoming disturbing. At least for Rin.

«Tsk! They’re late,» he complained, to break the ice. They were late for real, anyway.

«Rin…»

Hearing Haru’s voice, the boy looked at him: he was staring at the floor, his arms on his knees.

«About what you said yesterday…»

«What is it?»

Somehow alarmed, Rin waited for his words, starting to feel a bit uneasy. He was curious, but at the same time he wasn’t ready for an answer anymore. His heart was already pounding in an irritant way.

However, in the end, Haru just sighed. «It’s nothing.»

After some more minutes, a voice from the speakers finally invited the travelers to check in for the flight to Australia.

Rin took his luggage, standing up. «Well… I’m going then.»

«Yeah…»

Haru looked at him: there was definitely something worrying his friend and he couldn’t ask him what that something was. How could he cheer him up?

Rin raised a faint smile. «See you soon, Haru.»

Not waiting for his answer, he took a few steps, but Haru’s voice stopped him again.

«Rin, about yesterday…»

Rin turned and looked at him, waiting. Haru seemed to be finally ready to talk and he didn’t know if he wanted to hear what he was going to say.

«You asked me what made me change my mind,» Haru began, though staring at the floor. «It’s true that I don’t know. I was just… scared. Scared of expectations. Scared of people wanting me to do something without asking me if that was what I wanted.»

The boy stayed silent for a few seconds, but then he firmly looked into Rin’s eyes.

«You’re the only one who asked me what I actually wanted to do. You wanted me to keep swimming, but you also gave me the opportunity to refuse. And…» He lowered his head again, a bit embarrassed. «I suddenly understood that I didn’t want to refuse.»

Looking up one more time, he timidly but gratefully smiled.

«For this, I really have to thank you. Maybe I wouldn’t be where I am now, if it wasn’t for you.»

Rin, who silently stood there the whole time, listening to Haru’s words with his eyes and mouth wide open, suddenly felt his heart bouncing and his face burning. It took him some seconds to come back to his senses and, when he did, he just snorted, looking elsewhere, completely puzzled.

«You… you don’t have to thank me! That was simply your choice!»

Seeing his reaction, Haru warmly smiled. «That’s true, but it might have been different, if you hadn’t taken me there.»

«I-I got it, I got it!» Rin stuttered. He was completely unable to look at his face. «N-now I must go, or I’ll miss the flight!»

«Ok. Have a safe trip, Rin.»

«Haru…»

«What?»

Rin finally glanced at him again, scratching his head, but in the end he just sighed, looking away.

«Nothing.»

«You do are acting weird, after all,» Haru’s slightly irritated voice said. «Are you really ok?»

«I said I am, dammit!»

«As you wish…»

Haru smiled once more. Probably he was really just sad about leaving.

«See you soon, then.»

«Y-yeah… Goodbye!» Rin grumbled, rapidly starting to walk away.

Haru completely caught him off guard. When he asked for an answer, he wasn’t expecting something like that. Not from Haru. What the heck was that? And what the hell was with his reaction?! He could still feel his face boiling and his heart beating like crazy. It never happened before. Not that much. That was why he couldn’t stand that somehow new Haru, who was beginning to show his feelings without running away from them. He couldn’t stand his sincerity, that overwhelming sincerity that Haru always showed whenever he was feeling in a corner. It was hard to wire feelings out of him, but every time he opened up, he couldn’t help but feel surprised from that side of him that could hardly be seen. It happened not so many times, mostly just when they were talking face to face or when no one could listen. Maybe, in his own way, Haru was more attached to him than he used to believe. But that didn’t matter, now.  
When he greeted him, for a split second, he almost felt like hugging him and never letting go ever again. He was awfully happy. And that somehow felt awfully _wrong_.

Going back to Australia kind of helped him to forget all that. Or at least ignore it. The warm temperature and the enormous outside pool where he used to train everyday allowed him to swim so much that having enough time to think was almost impossible.  
There were some people coming from foreign countries who had been called back to their hometown to join the national team, but whenever they weren’t busy with international championships, they kept going back there. He knew it was just a matter of time: soon, he could try to join the Japanese team as well. He managed to take a look at the World Master Championship, during the previous summer, and he saw with his own eyes where he was supposed to arrive, which level he had to reach. That time he even met his former captain, Mikoshiba, who was there with his college team. Only Haru wasn’t there. He fell ill, that idiot.  
Thinking about that, he faintly smiled, while looking at the PC screen he just turned off. His friends’ life was going on as always. In a few months, even Nagisa, Rei and Ai were going to graduate. Maybe some of them would have kept swimming. That wasn’t an easy choice. Both him and Haru almost gave up at least once and the most difficult part was probably yet to come, but he was confident.

_As long as Haru keeps swimming, everything will be ok, right?_

Bedtime was the worst part of the day, those moments when he absolutely couldn’t avoid thinking. Two weeks had passed since the day he went back to Sydney. For two weeks he tried to surpass that record he registered racing against Haru. Uselessly. That was really pissing him off. He was refusing to believe he had to depend on someone else. Was it just because he was blocking his own feelings or something? Actually, he was doing his best not to do that. He really considered them, instead. After all, what else was he supposed to do?  
He suspected not to be particularly interested in the opposite sex long ago, but it was mostly because he wasn’t looking for someone to go out with, no matter the gender. He didn’t have time for that.  
As far as he knew, none of his close friends ever had a girlfriend or even a crush on someone, so he never felt out of place or something. In his school, classes were mixed, but he never paid attention to relationships that had nothing to do with swimming, not to count that he was feeling quite down, when he went to Australia the first time. When he came back to Japan, he went to an all-boys school and seeing couples around was kinda impossible. Yeah, there were some rumors about guys dating other guys, but he never really worried about it. Just as Lori was still saying sometimes, he was too fixated with swimming. Anything else was unnecessary.  
He was now paying more attention to the people around him, to understand how that was supposed to work, somehow. Among his teammates, there were some girls too and it wasn’t rare for them to join the boys for a meal or a drink. There were even couples. He had a few female friends and he tried to observe them more carefully. Some of them were often sticking to him, actually, and, thinking about it better, it could have been out of particular interest, sometimes. He probably just cut a bad figure by looking dense or something. No matter how much he liked romantic movies and such, the real thing was different.  
Just to be sure, he almost reluctantly examined some of his male teammates or the attention he paid to them. He undoubtedly used to notice a well dressed man first, rather than a woman, but there were mostly men in his group of friends, and he always had a thing for clothes and accessories, so that fact wasn’t relevant enough. Even finding some of them somehow attractive wasn’t that big of a deal. He was just appreciating beauty. Still, more than once he found himself comparing that beauty with a certain someone’s deep blue eyes.  
He was almost fearing it was simple autosuggestion, but then what was that thing he was feeling for Haru? Why was it that hard to sort feelings out? Even his romantic way of thinking was plotting against him, making him wonder if he never fell in love simply because he had someone to look forward to already. As things were now, anyway, realizing he had… weird feelings for another guy was the easiest thing to digest. If that was real, there was nothing he could do to prevent it. If that wasn’t real, that sensation was destined to pass with time. But he was only, desperately looking for excuses. Something was telling him there was no mistake, whether he liked it or not. And that was literally making him go crazy. Why was Haru, out of all people, the one who caught his interest? Why not any other man or woman? Not Haru. Not him. That was the only thing he really couldn’t accept.  
He was keeping in contact with him and all the others as usual, but since the day he came back to Australia, he was never able to get rid of the awkward sensation he was having whenever he talked with Haru. His heart was starting a drum solo almost every time. It was so frustrating!  
Sighing, he got up from his bed to get a glass of water and in the kitchen he found Lori.

 _«Oh, Rin… you’re still awake. Can’t sleep?_ » she smiled, sweetly.

_«Ah… no, I was going to bed right now. I’m just thirsty.»_

The woman observed him, leaning to the kitchen counter, while he was filling a glass with water.

« _Did you talk to Haru? About coming here, sometimes?_ »

 _«Uh? Oh… yeah, I did…_ » Rin mumbled, avoiding her gaze.

Haru was the main topic again. Was Lori doing that on purpose or what? But then he sighed. After all the times he talked about Haru, it was obvious he was the first person Lori would refer to. He was simply more conscious of that fact, now.  
Sighing, he filled his glass again. Thinking about how much he was obsessed with him back then was really embarrassing. Luckily, Haru couldn’t understand a thing, when Lori and Russell ended up telling him that. He was feeling like burying himself, in that moment. Did he really used to say all that stuff about him? How pathetic.

 _«He and the others would be glad to come here,_ » he simply said, in the end.

 _«That’s good!»_ Lori exclaimed, happy. _«Tell them to come! I’d like to know your friends. If they come, they could also stay overnight._ »

Lori had always been really eager to know everyone, but he wasn’t feeling like inviting anyone over at all. Anyway he didn’t want her to notice his bad mood.

« _I will tell them, then,»_ he replied, cracking a smile. « _Now I think I’ll go to bed. Goodnight, Lori._ »

 _«Goodnight, dear._ »

Letting her kiss him goodnight, he went back to his room, closing the door.  
What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to face Haru, the next time they would meet? Hopefully, those feelings were to disappear before that moment, but right now, he wasn’t in the mood to see Haru again, at all.

***

«Bless you!» Makoto smiled at Haru, who had just sneezed. «Don’t catch a cold. You have to swim, tomorrow.»

«I’m not catching a cold. Someone was talking about me,» Haru replied, rubbing his nose.

His thoughts suddenly went to Rin. He, Sousuke and Makoto were talking about him right in that moment, sat at the table, after dining at his place. They had quite a difficult task to complete.

«Seriously, Haru…» Makoto complained, staring at the papers in front of him. «What could we send to Rin for his birthday?»

Since just two weeks were left, they were thinking about shipping some kind of gift to him in Australia, but choosing was more complicated than they expected.

«A new skateboard?» Sousuke suggested.

«I’ll write it down,» Makoto replied. «Though we don’t know if he lives in a place where he can use it. Or if he has time to use it.»

«Finding something that’ll always be useful is impossible, Makoto.»

Makoto thought about it for some seconds, tapping with the pencil on the paper.

«But I want to aim for the best! After all, we can’t meet him. I want to be sure it’ll be a great surprise!»

Hearing those words, Haru widened his eyes for a second. That was it.

«Then…»

«Mh? Do you have an idea, Haru?»

«Why don’t we just go there?»

Makoto and Sousuke stared at him first, then at each other, and in the end they smiled.

«That’s… actually a great idea, Haru!»

«I have to agree,» Sousuke added. «Maybe it’s a bit expensive, but now we also have an excuse to go to Australia.»

«It’s set, then. Tomorrow we’ll ask for a permission.»

«Agreed.»

«Then I’ll contact the others too. They might manage to come,» Makoto said, looking for his phone.

Haru smiled for his friends’ enthusiasm. He could have thought about that before. Rin was definitely going to be happy to see them on his birthday. He wasn’t appearing on chat as often as before, in the last period. Maybe he was busy.  
He suddenly wondered if going there could be appropriate, but after all it was just a matter of… greeting him. If he didn’t have enough time to keep them company, they could simply take a stroll in Sydney.

And so they organized everything, meeting on a sunny freezing day in front of Tokyo airport.  
Haruka looked at the colourful tables and banners scattered in the airport main hall. Nagisa, Rei, Momo and Ai were a bit late. They miraculously managed to come despite school, but after all it was just a three days trip. Well… barely two, excluding the time required to get to and to come back from Sydney. They all couldn’t afford more than that, but everyone agreed it was worth the money, for once.

«Let’s go in, Haru! It’s freezing, outside!» Makoto complained, rubbing his hands together.

Haru followed him and Sousuke. He was starting to feel a bit anxious. It was a really long way there. But he did it once, he could do that again.  
After a few minutes, even the others got there and, luckily, they rapidly took off, towards Australia.

«Are you nervous?» Makoto asked him, with a smile.

Haru, who was lazily looking outside the window, sighed. «Of course I’m nervous. I can’t understand a thing in English.»

Sousuke, who was sitting next to Makoto, laughed. Behind them, Momo was tormenting Ai with a lot of questions about Sydney, Nagisa was doing his best to reply in Ai’s place, while Rei was trying to resist his motion sickness. That trip was definitely going to be something interesting. A surprise. And knowing Rin, he was probably going to be really happy about it.


	5. Overwhelming

«Why should we tell those guys that we came here for _sightseeing_?»

Sitting on a bench in a fast-food after leaving the airport, Nagisa was still puzzled by all the questions the guy at the reception asked them. Next to him, Rei was not willing to reply at all, still looking pretty pale.

Makoto smiled. «I have no clue. But we’re finally here, don’t we?»

«I suggest we grab a bite and then we start looking for Rin’s place,» Sousuke said, browsing the menu.

«I like this place! It’s hot here!!» Momo shouted, with enthusiasm. «We could even take a bath in the ocean!»

«Ahah! I don’t know if there’ll be time for that, Momo-kun…» Ai replied, smiling.

«Haru-chan, do you remember where Rin-chan lives?»

Looking at Nagisa’s curious eyes in front of him, Haru took out a piece of paper from a pocket. «I wrote it down when I came here the last time. Lori insisted, in case we might want to pay a visit. We’ll just ask around to know how to reach that place.»

«Whoa, Haru-chan, you’re amazing!»

«He doesn’t know a single word in English, though,» Sousuke commented, making everyone – beside Haru - laugh.

After that quick pit stop, then, they tried to ask people in order to find Rin’s home. Luckily, Rei was able to handle English well enough. It took them another trip by train and by bus to reach the district where Rin was living. By the time they got there, the sun was starting to set.

«Are you sure to remember where the house is?» Sousuke asked, to a seemingly confused Haruka, who was walking around, looking everywhere.

«I’m sure Rin took me here. I just have to… find the right datum point…» he replied, refusing to admit he was kind of lost.

Sousuke and Makoto just sighed. Behind them, their younger friends weren’t caring about getting lost that much, noisily enjoying the view. 

Rin sneezed. Someone was talking about him. Being his birthday, there was nothing to be surprised of. Some of his teammates asked him if he wanted to party, but he decided to postpone. Celebrating quietly with Lori and Russell after a harsh training was more than enough.  
He took a look at the sun above the light orange landscape, while jogging. None of his friends called him. Only his sister and his mum. Not that he was particularly disappointed. The day wasn’t ended yet. There was still time. It was just… strange.  
Hearing some agitated voices nearby, he looked around. What were his neighbours even doing? Ignoring them, he kept running, but he suddenly noticed that those people were speaking Japanese. And not just that. They were kind of familiar. He stopped, unwilling to believe what he was hearing. It couldn’t be.  
But then, Nagisa and Momo’s unmistakable, loud voices reached his ears. Those idiots…!  
He started running, trying to understand where they were coming from. The last thing he heard was Haru’s voice saying ‘I know where we are!’, then he bumped against him right after a turn, so violently that they both fell backwards, making Makoto and Rei scream in fear. For a few seconds there was only silence. Haru was still sitting on the ground, as well as Rin, who was looking at him and everyone else in complete chaos. Then he finally pointed at them all.

«What the heck are you doing here?!!»

«RIN-CHAAAAAN!!!!» Nagisa shouted, literally jumping on him. «It’s our surprise party!!»

«W-what?» Rin mumbled, looking at Momo, who was shouting something like ‘Yay! We found Rin-senpai!’ trying to make Ai dance with him, and at Makoto and Sousuke, who were holding out their hands to make him stand.

His childhood friend smiled to him. «Yeah! We didn’t know what present we could get you…»

«And Haru suggested to come here!» Makoto added.

Rin stood up again. That was completely unexpected and even though he thought he didn’t want them to come, he couldn’t deny he was happy to see his friends.

Even Haru got up, cleaning his clothes with his hands. «I… got lost…» he muttered, embarrassed, avoiding looking at him.

Rin stared at his friend for a few seconds. So it was him who wanted to come. An unexpected thing. Right now that he was glad he couldn’t meet him in person for a while.

«Tsk! It’s only natural, since you came here just once,» he commented, giving him the cold shoulder and crossing his arms.

But then he sighed, giving up. 

«Come with me.»

And in a few minutes, they reached their destination.  
As soon as she saw them, Lori warmly welcomed everyone.

 _«You came for Rin’s birthday! Rin, your friends are really something!»_ she smiled.

The boy just mumbled some grumpy words, shrugging while blushing.  
In the end, since Lori and Russell were insisting, they all stayed for dinner.

 _«You’re lucky, boys! There’s even a cake!»_ Russell said, smirking at his guests. « _We were going to party by ourselves, but this way is much better!_ »

_«Thank you for letting us stay, then.»_

Rei politely bowed, but the man patted his shoulder with a smile.

 _«There’s no need for such formalities. Rin’s friends are more than welcome, here._ »

Nagisa suddenly said he wanted to see Rin’s room and since thinking about refusing was a sort of utopia, Rin let everyone in.

«It’s nothing special, you know,» he said, sighing, while watching an excited Nagisa looking everywhere.

In fact there was just a desk, a bunk bed, a pair of libraries and a wardrobe. The room was small, but shiny and comfortable.  
Looking around, Haru suddenly spotted three pictures on the desk next to him. Noticing his surprised reaction, Makoto looked at them too.

«Oh! These are…»

There was a copy of the old picture with Rin’s dad and his teammates, one of the picture they took after their relay two years before and then another picture that Rin took with his Samezuka teammates before graduation.  
Seeing his two friends staring at those photos, Rin suddenly got embarrassed.

«Ah… those are…»

But Makoto tenderly smiled to him. «We have a copy of that picture too. I really like it!»

Even Nagisa and Rei nodded enthusiastically.  
A second after, Momo suddenly popped up in front of them.

«Then...!! There’s that thing, you know...!! Nitori-senpai!»

«Ah! Yes!» The boy took-out a small, colourful package, holding it out with a shy bow. «We all got you… this…»

Rin looked at the small gift, a little perplexed, then he took it. Once he unwrapped the package, he stared at its content without saying a word. It was a simple frame with the picture that the eight of them plus Gou, took after the graduation party at Haru’s place, the last spring. He had almost forgotten about it.  
His friends were waiting for a reaction, next to him, probably thinking he was going to cry or something like that, but instead he softly smiled, without looking away from that picture.

«Thanks, guys. This is really appreciated.»

After a while, Lori’s voice called them all, announcing that the dinner was ready. She managed to improvise a wide variety of finger food, that was being particularly appreciated by Nagisa, Momo and Ai.

«This is really good, ma’am!» Momo said, his mouth full of tarts. «Rin-senpai, can you translate it for her?»

«Do it yourself!» Rin growled.

He was sitting between Sousuke and Makoto on the sofa, with his arms crossed, pretending to be bothered by the cheerful atmosphere around him.

Makoto laughed, handing over some food to him. «Haru was right. Lori and Russell are wonderful people!»

«I know…» he mumbled, picking a piece of savoury pie.

Then he turned towards Haru, who was currently trying to communicate with Lori the best he could, and he finally really smiled.

«Thanks for coming, guys…»

What was with that silly idea to come here for one day only? A crazy idea. Only a light-head like Haru could actually come out with something like that. Sighing, he put his hands on the sink edge. He needed a break and the toilet was always a good excuse to go away. That birthday was so weird he was almost believing to be in a dream. He really had to be grateful for those friends.  
Shaking his head, he chased away the little voice that was telling him his happiness was mostly due to Haru being there, not to mention he was the one who planned everything. But he would have probably done that for anyone, so the more that voice could stay hidden somewhere, the better it was. Everything was already ridiculous enough.  
After drying his hands, he opened the door and he immediately jumped: in front of him, he found Haru, who startled as well, with his hand ready to catch the handle. For a moment, they both stared at each other, surprised. Then Haru lowered his arm, looking to the side.

«I didn’t know you were in there,» he mumbled.

«Tch! At least knock, before trying to get in.»

Putting a hand behind his neck, Rin let him pass, gazing away from him as much as possible. He wanted to act more natural, but he couldn’t stare at his face much longer. Feeling a bit sorry for the crabby reply, anyway,  he lightly sighed, turning towards him for a moment. Even Haru did. He looked like he was about to say something and whatever it was, he wasn’t willing to hear it. He also had a bad feeling about it.

«I’m… going back down,» he said, as soon as Haru opened his mouth.

He even cracked a friendly smile, just to be sure, and Haru seemed to be ok with it, at least ok enough not to insist. The fact he wasn’t a talkative guy was useful, sometimes.  
After his friend shut the door, he heavily sighed. That was really close. He wasn’t feeling like staying alone with him at all, not even a bit. For now, he was safe. If being utterly nervous could be considered being safe.  
Ignoring his heart pounding way faster than usual, he went back downstairs. Really, what was with him?

That sudden birthday party went on for a few hours. There were some difficulties about the language, but in the end Rin and Rei could act as interpreters for everyone, if needed. Even the little black dog Winnie happily took part to the celebration, running from one person to another for the whole time. Rin looked particularly embarrassed when Lori served the cake suggesting to sing _‘Happy Birthday’_ to him, something that Momo and Nagisa – despite missing half of the English words - gladly did.  
Haru looked at him while he was trying to prevent Momo from putting a colourful party hat on his head. The way they parted the last time was still worrying him a little, but Rin was back to his usual self again, it seemed.

 _«We’ll go back to the hotel, now,»_ Rei said, while his friends were picking up their bags.

 _«We’ve been glad to host all of you here. I hope you’ll come again!_ » Lori replied, smiling at everyone.

Assuring to her and her husband that they would do so, they went out, greeting their kind hosts.

«I’ll accompany you to the hotel, so that you won’t get lost again,» Rin said, purposely raising his voice at those last words while passing by Haru, with his hands in his pockets.

Haru glared at him and then he followed his friends, after greeting Lori and Russell one last time.  
Thanks to Rin, they got back pretty soon by train.

«Aaah… I had fun!» Makoto sighed, smiling, while stepping out of the station. «You had a nice idea, Haru!»

«Not really…» Haru replied, looking elsewhere.

Rin, who was walking behind them next to Sousuke, sighed with resignation.

«You were lucky I was there.»

Sousuke laughed. «You’re right! I thought this might be too sudden, but it was worth trying. Now we got to see where you’re living.»

«I guess so,» Rin replied, with a smile.

«Rin-senpai! Rin-senpai!» Momo suddenly grabbed his arm, cheerful as always. «I want to see the ocean! Can we? Can we?!»

«Ugh… Momo, it’s pretty late, now!»

But the boy wasn’t giving up and the fact that even Nagisa joined him only made things worse.

«I’m telling you it’s-!!»

«Pleeeeeeeeaaase!!!»

The two boys’ sparkling eyes in front of his face finally made him surrender.

«Ok, you won. It’s not far from here, after all. Follow me.»

Doing as he said, the group walked for a few minutes, till reaching the beach. Once there, Momo and Nagisa got rid of their shoes and started running around in excitement, Ai and Rei uselessly tried to stop them and Haru was clearly sad about the fact he didn’t think about bringing a swimsuit.

«I guess I’ll go check the Australian ocean as well…» Sousuke said, taking off his shoes and walking towards the water.

«Same goes for me!» Makoto added, doing the same, turning then towards Haru and Rin. «Are you coming too?»

«Yes, yes…» Rin sighed, rolling up the rim of his trousers and following his friend.

After doing the same, Haru caught up with him. Probably because of all that chaos, he hadn’t been able to talk with him for the whole time.

«I completely forgot it’s summer here,» he said, looking at the blue starry sky.

Rin sighed, stretching his arms. «You wouldn’t have enough time to swim anyway, now.»

«I guess so…»

They both stayed silent for a while, observing their friends that were enjoying the water, playing or just walking on the shore ahead.

«Your trainings?» Haru asked. «Are you doing good?»

«Everything as always,» was the simple answer.

The blue-eyed boy looked at his friend, on his right. He was staring at the ground, as if lost in some kind of thoughts.

«Do you feel better, now? You looked a bit down, when you left.»

Rin watched their feet walking on the wet sand. He knew he was going to ask something like that. He evaded him once, but hoping to do it twice was a bit too much. Somehow, he became scared of what happened before his last departure from Japan and he wasn’t willing to feel that way again. He tried to avoid talking with Haru during the whole evening, but it was clearly inevitable.

«Yeah, I’m good,» he smiled, though without raising his head. «There’s nothing you should worry about.»

«Ok, then.»

After a short pause, Haru continued. «I hope we didn’t ruin your plans for today, coming here all of a sudden.»

«Don’t worry, Haru. I didn’t have any plan to begin with. Not for today, at least.»

«This was the only thing I could think of. I’m not good with choosing gifts.»

 _You chose one hell of a gift, you idiot_ , Rin thought, without saying it out loud. That weird feeling again. No matter how much he tried to stay away from Haru, he found his way through anyway.  
Trying to get rid of that conversation as quickly as possible, he looked at his watch.

«Shouldn’t you be back shortly? You still haven’t checked in at the hotel.»

«You’re right,» Haru replied. «Will we be able to meet again tomorrow?»

Rin scratched his head. «I don’t know. Sincerely, I don’t think I will have time, I’m sorry.»

«Don’t worry, it’s fine. We came here without telling you. It’ll be better next time.»

«Yep.»

«Then I’ll go call the others.»

Rin sighed watching him go ahead. Knowing he had to say goodbye to Haru made him feel vaguely relieved, instead of sorry. Faking was difficult: in spite of the appearances, his friend’s keen eye was really good and he noticed there was something different for sure, but he apparently got free of him without any major damage, this time.

«Ah, Rin…»

«Mh?»

He raised his head, just in time to see Haru tenderly smiling to him.

«Happy birthday again.»

Rin stopped, feeling a sort of _crack_ somewhere inside his chest, while Haru was running towards their friends. As soon as he thought he was safe, in an instant, all of his efforts to keep him away from his heart definitely became useless.

 

The morning after, a quick breakfast followed by some brief sightseeing was everything the small group travelling with Haru could accomplish. Since they left for Australia without an itinerary, randomly walking around the city was the only thing they could afford, but it wasn’t so bad, in the end.

«We must go home already,» Nagisa complained, sitting on a chair in the airport hall.

«I think you took enough pictures, for today,» Rei commented, unwilling to believe his friend  wasn’t tired yet.

«Won’t Rin-senpai come to greet us?» Ai asked, looking around.

Makoto took out his cell phone, a bit let down. «He said he couldn’t make it.»

«Well, we can’t expect more, considering the way we came here,» Sousuke commented, shrugging.

Haru took his bag, walking towards the ticket office. «We’ll visit him properly the next time.»

«You’re right!» Momo shouted, while everyone else was smiling.

That had been a nice adventure, after all. They managed to find Rin and spend some time with him during his birthday. It surely wasn’t a failure.  
Putting his bag on the conveyor belt, Haru smiled. Rin worried him for some time, but now everything was back to normal again, at last.

 

 _«Rin?! Weren’t you going to greet your friends at the airport, before going to college, today?_ »

Lori’s voice called him from downstairs. Going out of his room, Rin searched for her.

« _Today I’ll pass. I’m not feeling ok. I probably ate too much yesterday.»_

Lori looked a bit worried. « _Do you want a warm tea or something?_ »

 _«Don’t worry, I’ll just rest for a bit and I’ll go swimming this afternoon._ »

Rin sweetly smiled to her and then went back to his room.  
He didn’t like lying to Lori, but what else could he tell her? He didn’t even know what to tell to himself.  
He sat at his desk with a deep sigh. He had a weird dream, that night. A dream involving a picture like the one that was standing in front of his eyes now. Touching the thin frame, he looked at the smiling faces behind the glass: Momo was tormenting Ai as usual, Nagisa was wearing Rei’s glasses and their owner wasn’t happy about that. His sister was leaning on his head and he was sticking to Haru and Sousuke, hugging both them and Makoto with a big smile. A year had passed since the moment they took that picture. He stared at Haru’s face: for once, he was smiling.  
How could things change so much? When did they change?  
Thinking about it now, those weird feelings probably arose after the national championship during the previous summer, when he thought Haru would have stopped swimming, or when he finally understood that they were going to choose the same path. Or maybe even before, when Haru was the one who prevented him from quitting the swimming world. Or they simply had always been there.  
He suddenly remembered that time he called him to talk, under that cherry tree in their old school yard. He did that because the thought he had to part from him was somehow distressing. It wasn’t like the first time. When they were children, they just spent a few months together, barely knowing each other well enough. They were undoubtedly more than acquaintances, but still less than real friends, at that time. Those months eventually became years when he came back to Japan. Things weren’t the same anymore. Without realizing, after knowing him, he developed a sort of addiction to Haru, to the point that it was him or nothing. Not even swimming was worth it enough, without him. Hindsight, during the last two years, he kept swimming because he took the fact that Haru would have kept swimming with him for granted. Thinking about the day Haru stopped in the middle of that pool was making him feel bad even now. He was blinded by the firm belief that they would have stayed together forever and that was why he never worried about anything. Leaving for Australia suddenly made everything fall back to reality. He was terribly jealous of that part of Haru’s life he couldn’t be in anymore. He was fearing he could slip away with the passing of time, growing apart from him. And that thought was unbearable.  
He always knew he had a soft spot for him, but he never wondered why. He was too busy thinking he wanted to race against him. He was happy with just that. Why and when did he start to care so much about him? Was it even possible to care that much about someone? Could that feeling still be called _care_?  
Accepting the only answer he could find would have been easier. But he just couldn’t.

***

 «Haru, you won again!»

Makoto ran towards his friend, who was going out from the locker room with a towel on his wet hair. Another race had just finished and Haru managed to get the first place both in the 100mt and the 200mt freestyle.

«It’s nothing special,» he replied.

And he wasn’t even acting modest. He actually didn’t care that much.  
Makoto smiled. That side of him wasn’t going to change, always acting as if the fact that he was the fastest one was just a lucky chance. He kept saying that he was competing only with Rin through their time records and that might be true, since also Rin surely was one of the fastest swimmers in his team.

«Is Rin still sending you his times?»

«Not recently.»

Since the day they came back from Australia, about three weeks before, he received nothing from him. It was a bit weird.

Noticing his troubled look, Makoto smiled again. «He’s probably busy. Just wait a bit more.»

Haru hoped that was true. They used to exchange their data at least twice a week no matter what. Rin’s silence really was awkward.  
That evening, seeing his face on the PC screen again, he felt a bit relieved. He was always there, at least, but he was contacting him less often. At the moment, he was discussing with Sousuke and Rei about some technical information on the butterfly style.

«I’m telling you that you can go faster if you move your arms that way!»

«Oh, stop it! That might work for you, but I swim better the other way around,» Sousuke replied.

«And that’s not equally beautiful,» Rei added.

Rin snorted, crossing his arms, while Makoto started laughing.  
_Everything as usual…_ , Haru thought. Still something was off, but he could afford waiting a bit more, to check if that situation was going to go on or not.  
In a few weeks, even Nagisa, Rei and Ai ended up graduating from high school. As expected, Momo was going to be his brother’s heir, becoming the next Samezuka swim club captain, and all these events became a good chance to plan a get-together in the weekend.

«So you finally did it!» Makoto smiled to the three graduates in front of him, who nodded enthusiastically. «You decided what you’re gonna do now, don’t you?»

«I was thinking about becoming a teacher,» Rei replied, a bit embarrassed. «I mean... a PE teacher. I’m not good enough at swimming and so I can’t think about a career on that path. I still like other sports and I enjoyed helping the students in the swim club the way you all helped me.»

Makoto enthusiastically smiled. «Then we’ll be colleagues! That’s really awesome, Rei! And you, Nagisa?»

«I want to study about animals and nature and work in an aquarium or a zoo and train penguins and dolphins and so on!» Nagisa replied, greeting with a big smile the giant ice cream the waitress just put in front of him. «I love animals and I’ll be able to swim too!! Haru-chan, you’ll come see me, right?!»

«Only if you will let me swim with a dolphin,» the boy replied, drinking his cold tea.

«It’s a promise, then! And you, Ai-chan? Are you really going to do that? You’re really brave!»

«Ahah! Thanks!» Ai smiled, blushing a bit. «I managed to enrol in the same college as you, Haruka-senpai. Maybe we will get to swim with Rin-senpai all together, one day.»

«Sure!» Haru replied, smiling.

His thought immediately focused on his friend, though. Last year, Rin said he was going to be there in Japan, for his friends’ graduation. It was a pity he couldn't manage to come.

«And so the people aiming for the national team keep increasing,» Sousuke commented. «You did well, Nitori. I’m proud.»

«Thanks, Sousuke-senpai!»

Momo raised his arm. «Then the next year I’ll come too!!»

«No, you can’t do it,» Sousuke said, joking. «You won’t even survive as the captain of your team.»

«You’re evil, senpai!!»

Seeing the boy protesting, everyone laughed. Their little group was definitely determined to stick together.

«This is so nice, isn’t it? That we all can keep in contact like this.»

Makoto looked at the cloudy sky, while walking towards the train station with Haru. «You’ll probably end up swimming with Momo and Ai, sooner or later, maybe in a relay.»

«Looks like it…» the blue-eyed boy replied, while looking at his phone. Still no news from Rin.

«Rin told me he won another race.»

Haru turned towards his friend. As always, he was able to read what he was thinking about. But what troubled him the most was the fact that he didn’t know about any race. Rin always told him about any race he took part to and any trophy he won. Why didn’t he know anything about this one? That was just too unusual and for that reason he decided not to tell anything to Makoto.

«I know,» he lied, smiling. «And that’s nothing to be surprised about.»

But then he lowered his head again. That was just a chance, right?  
Once he got home, he immediately opened his PC, looking for Rin. Luckily he was online. Quickly clicking on his name, he waited for him to appear on the screen. Maybe it was just a feeling, but that took longer than usual.

«Oh, Haru… Sorry, I went to the bathroom.»

«Why didn’t you tell me about your last race?»

Hearing Haru’s scolding voice, Rin suddenly looked surprised and vaguely guilty.

«Oh… I’m sorry, I was gonna tell you too, but I was so busy that I forgot,» he replied, turning away. «Anyway, Makoto told you, right?»

«He did.»

Haru felt disappointed. He was still hoping that was just a sensation. A wrong sensation. Staring at his keyboard, he listened to the silence between them. Even Rin wasn’t saying anything. Things were getting weirder and weirder.

«Hey, Haru…»

Hearing his voice, Haru suddenly raised his head again, but Rin wasn’t looking at him.

«I was thinking…»

The red-headed boy put a hand behind his neck, as he always did when he was feeling uneasy.

«I don’t want you to send me your times anymore.»

At those words, Haruka widened his eyes, suddenly shocked. «What? Why?»

Rin looked troubled, still refusing to look at him in the eyes.

«I just… want to try swimming without aiming at what you did.» Then he looked at him, with a visibly forced smile. «So that the next time we meet, there’ll be more suspense!»

Haru couldn’t find any words to reply to what he just heard. It was exactly like that time, some years before, when they met near the railway before racing against each other. It was the same forced smile. And he could never forget what happened after that.

«Ri-»

«Now I’ll go to bed, Haru,» Rin interrupted him, with an apparently calm smile. «Tomorrow I have to get up early.»

Haru stared at him for a few seconds, then forcing himself to reply with a strained «Yeah...».

«Goodnight, then.»

And Rin’s smiling face disappeared again.  
Haru just gazed at the colourful monitor, completely dumbfounded. What on earth was going on? No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find any reason for Rin to act that way, clearly just with him. He was suspecting that there was something going on, but he kept hoping it was just a bad feeling. Now he was finally sure that feeling was right. But… why?

 

Rin stared at the black screen of his PC. His chest was hurting like hell. But doing that, cutting ties to see what happens, was the only thing he could think of. He was forcing himself to act normal, at least in front of all his friends. He wasn’t good at faking, but maybe Haru would have forgotten everything with time.  
Sighing, he got up, sinking into his bed. To be sincere, he was doubting Haru could forget. He was a loyal and caring friend and he always did anything he could to cheer him up. This time wasn’t going to be different, but, while it sounded like something good, that was just going to make things worse. He was completely lost. Avoiding Haru and hoping to delete his feelings for him was the only chance he had.

***

Taking a shelter from the hot sunlight under a tree, Haru answered to Makoto’s phone call.  
Time passed and spring ended again, in Tokyo. Apparently, everything was as always: the unbearable heat, his trainings, Makoto and Sousuke’s job at the swim club and even the usual evening video chat with everyone, including Rin. But, since the day he said to avoid passing his times to him, Rin never contacted him again. He was available to talk only when there were at least one or two more people online beside him. His attitude was more or less back to normal and no one ever noticed there was something wrong, even because neither him nor Rin told anyone about their last private chat. He avoided telling about it even to Makoto. He didn’t want to make his friends worry for something they weren’t involved into. Just like Rin, he feigned ignorance as well, acting as if everything was fine, as if Rin was contacting him as usual and so on, but that wasn’t the case at all. He tried to text him, once or twice, receiving no answer. Rin just said he forgot to reply. More and more often, he got to know something about Rin just because one of his friends was talking about it. The fact that Rin was avoiding him and only him was getting clearer and clearer. He wasn’t even trying to hide it.

«Haru, are you still there?»

Makoto’s voice on the phone interrupted his thoughts.

«Ah… yes, sorry! Then see you later!»

«Got it!»

Haru sighed. Since that was the last day of June, they were going to meet all together to celebrate his birthday. Again. The year before, Rin forced him to use his PC to talk to him. Now he wasn’t even sure he would phone to tell him ‘Happy Birthday’.

«Here you are, Haru!» Makoto smiled to him as soon as he arrived in front of their favourite coffee shop. «Everyone is waiting for you inside.»

«I’m sorry, I’m late…» Haru replied, trying to catch his breath.

Makoto opened the door for him. «It’s a pity Rin can’t be here, don’t you think so?»

Haru stared at him. His friend’s keen eye was really good, as always. He was absolutely sure that Makoto understood there was something weird going on between him and Rin, but since he asked nothing, he told him nothing. Feeling a little guilty, he looked down, entering the cafe.

«He’ll phone for sure, anyway…» he said, though without really believing it.

And in fact he didn’t. He waited for the whole evening. At some point, Sousuke tried to call him to say hi, since they were there all together, but Rin didn’t pick up his phone.  
Everyone took the fact he might be busy for granted, but he didn’t. He wasn’t able to believe to all those coincidences anymore and he was really tired of all that. He should have acted earlier. Now that situation was just slipping through his fingers. Was there a way to fix it?  
Waving at Makoto, a few hours later, Haru rushed towards his apartment. Even if he had fun during his birthday party, he thought about Rin for all the time. The whole matter was just becoming too strange.  
Once he got home, he took out his phone to put it on a shelf, but, suddenly noticing an unread text, he quickly opened it, finding out it was from Rin. A simple and plain ‘ _Happy Birthday’_ , written in English.  
He stared at the little characters on the screen for what it seemed to be an eternity. He wanted to feel happy about that, to feel relieved, but instead he was just getting angry. He had to talk to him. He had to.

«Just answer, you idiot,» he nervously mumbled, after dialling his number.

But he received no answer. He tried twice, then three times. Uselessly. Rin wasn’t picking up.  
Angrily throwing his cell phone into his open bag, he decided to try with the PC. Seeing Rin was online surprised him. If he wanted to run away, why staying there?  
Without thinking about it too much, he clicked on his name. There was a chance he wasn’t at his desk, now, but he was somehow sure of the contrary.

_Come on! Appear!_

He waited for a few minutes, repeatedly trying, and finally the usual window opened on the screen. Rin was there, leaning to the backrest of his chair with his hands in the pockets of his tracksuit and a sad and guilty expression on his face. It almost seemed he was expecting him to call.  
Seeing him like that, for a split second Haru almost thought about calmly talking about everything, but he was just too upset.

«Oi, Rin!» he shouted, barely sitting down. «Stop avoiding me! I don’t get you! What’s all of this for?!»

Rin turned away, without saying anything, but Haru wasn’t feeling like being compassionate. Not anymore. Enough was enough.

«You’re acting like this since the last time you came back to Japan! What happened?!»

No reply.

«Answer me!!»

He was almost overwhelmed by rage and worry. What was even going on in his friend’s head?  
None of them said anything for a few seconds. Then Rin slowly started talking.

«I…»

He stopped again, looking towards Haru: he knew he couldn’t bear in silence for long and that reaction was exactly what he expected from him.

«I’m sorry…»

Seeing him in that state, so unusually remorseful, almost scared, Haru finally calmed down, sitting at his table.

«What happened, Rin? You’re making me worry…»

Rin turned away again. «I… don’t know…»

«What does it mean that you don’t know?»

Haru felt his anger burning up again and this time even Rin raised his voice.

«I just don’t know! If I was able to tell you what happened or why, I would have told you! I just can’t stand it!»

«What?»

«You just…!»

Rin stayed silent for a while again and this time Haru waited. Even building a sentence seemed to hurt him. What kind of burden was he hiding inside himself, this time?

«I’m tired of depending on you, Haru.» Rin lowered his head. «I can’t get rid of you,» he murmured, almost trying to hide behind his flocks of hair. «And I can't stand it.»

«What do you mean?» Haru was more and more confused. «Did I do something wrong?»

«No… you didn't.»

«Then what is it?»

Rin looked at him for a while, then he sighed, standing up to close the connection.

«Forget it. Goodnight.»

«Rin, wait!» Even Haru stood on his knees, suddenly getting anxious again. «What's wrong with you?!»

«I said it's nothing!!»

Rin was now getting worked up as well, but Haru refused to give up.

«Just tell me!» he begged, forgetting about his anger. «Please!!»

Hearing those words, Rin looked at him. All those phone calls, his extremely worried face on the screen, their silent and mutual decision to hide all that from their friends, the way he was hurting him… He noticed all that ages ago, but he was determined to go on, sure to be able to put an end to it soon. Now he was suddenly realizing that wasn’t possible.

«Rin…» Haru’s troubled eyes were still staring at him. «We are friends, right?»

After asking that, Haru saw Rin smile. It was a sad smile, full of something heavy that he wasn’t able to grasp, even painful to watch. Rin’s eyes met his for a second.

«You may be more than that.»

«What?»

The window on the screen suddenly turned off. Haru blankly stared at it, his mouth slightly open, completely speechless. What were those words meant to be? Just what… was that?

Rin watched the black monitor of the PC he just turned off, before falling on his bed, exhausted. He finally did it. But what for? What he was feeling now was emptiness. Total emptiness. If there was a way to put an end to that situation, it was what he just did, because he doubted Haru would try to call him again so soon. Haru and complicated relationships were like water and oil and all that was far more than complicated. Was it the end? The end of what? Of a weird story? Of a friendship? Of everything?  
His mind was shut down, but his chest was literally burning, painfully, unbearably.  
Feeling a tear slowly sliding on his cheek, he sank his face into his pillow. He didn’t even deserve to cry. Curling up, he stared at the deep darkness in front of him, just hoping to fall into a long, dreamless sleep.


	6. Distant

«Haru, are you ok?»

Makoto stared, a bit worried, at the pronounced dark circles under his friend’s eyes. He came to fetch him, the morning after his birthday, and Haru greeted him with a simply _terrible_ face.

«I couldn’t sleep,» Haru drawled, locking his apartment door.

Makoto sighed, following him. «I can see that. That’s why I’m asking if you’re ok.»

«Don’t worry. I probably just drank too much coffee yesterday.»

That was a lame excuse, but he couldn’t think about anything better. His friend avoided asking for more, anyway, and he felt grateful for that. He actually tried to sleep, but what happened some hours before kept bouncing in his head for the whole night and wasn’t going to stop soon. He was hoping that wouldn’t affect his trainings, especially because Makoto, who had some free time that morning, was coming with him. A part of him wanted to ask his friend for advice, but that was an extremely delicate matter and involving other people was the last thing he intended to do.  
Slapping his face twice after washing it with cold water in the locker room, Haru hoped that could be enough to avoid getting scolded by his coach, because he was really feeling in a terrible shape. But after the first, the second and then the third time recording, he had to admit that his mind was definitely somewhere else.

«What’s up with you, today, Nanase?!»

His coach was starting to be a bit upset.

«I’m sorry…»

The man sighed. «Just try again. Seeing your times drop scares me. You can’t do this to a poor old man like me.»

That joke slightly raised his mood. He couldn’t afford letting his life affect his trainings and thinking too much wasn’t going to be productive. But at the same time, actually not doing it was making him feel selfish and the result was the tremendous performance during this last training session.

«Are you sure you’re ok? Your coach was visibly upset.»

Makoto was looking at him, evidently worried, this time.

«Maybe you should go home and sleep. If you don’t feel well, you can stay over at my place.»

Haru smiled, gratefully. Spending the night alone was going to make him examine everything all over again. His friend really was a lifesaver.

«Thanks, Makoto. I think I’ll take you up on this.»

«But we have to think about dinner.» Makoto gave a disappointed sigh. «I’m still a terrible cook.»

«Don’t worry. I told you I can teach you something.»

«That’s much appreciated…!»

Feeling a bit cheered up by his best friend’s resigned smile, Haru followed him home. He was literally exhausted by over thinking, and not staying alone was surely going to help. No matter how much he thought about Rin’s words, he couldn’t link them to anything but one meaning only. And it was troublesome. Not because they were both men. That was the last of his problems. Rather it was because Rin was one of his best friends. How could he quietly maintain a friend-like relationship with him, after what he said? Was it possible for him to try to consider his feelings, even just a bit? He had never been interested in that kind of relationship, that was for sure. Girls, boys, people in general and even love itself were something he never particularly needed. Friendship was enough. Anything more than that was just going to be a pain in the neck, probably. Especially with Rin. What was it even like, to love someone? What did ‘ _more than friends_ ’ mean? How was he supposed to feel about that? Was Rin confusing friendship and love? It was no news that Rin had always been obsessed with him, but if he had to be honest, it was the same the other way around. However, as far as he was concerned, that had nothing to do with love. He loved Rin, deeply, but he was doubting that was the same kind of love Rin was apparently dealing with.  
Why now? Why didn't Rin tell him sooner, when they were able to meet whenever they wanted and calmly talk about it? _If_ he could be able to talk about it. Feelings were a mystery he had never been engrossed with, while Rin was literally the human form of those mysteries. He and his romantic stuff…  
That idiotic smile he showed him when they were children suddenly popped into his mind.  
_‘Romantic, isn't it?’  
_ No, it wasn't. With a few words, Rin threw his mind into chaos. Yet he looked so sad while speaking. Almost scared.  
_‘You may be more than that.’_  
Rin wasn't even sure about it. Then why telling him? He didn't want to be sure, maybe? Was that the reason he avoided him for months?  
His brain wasn't able to think straight anymore. He could still picture that sad smile on his friend’s face. Even for someone like Rin, who never really hid his feelings, saying something like that must have been extremely difficult. However… what was he supposed to do now? He wasn’t able to think of anything. His mind was completely blank. Even if it was selfish, he just wanted to avoid thinking, even just for a while, sincerely hoping that Rin could do the same. 

*** 

The loud music in his ears was vaguely helping. Hiding all the noise inside his head had been really difficult and that ended in his times drastically dropping for the whole day. He was still feeling stunned by what happened the previous night. On one hand, he got rid of an enormous burden, but on the other one he was feeling as if he lost something for good. Was saying that the right thing to do?  
Rin sighed, while slowly walking home under the evening sun. Whether it was the right thing or not, what he said just slipped out. He was there, waiting for Haru, because he was sure he’d contact him, after reading his text. He was there to face the consequences of the way he acted towards him and he was ready to see his house of cards collapse. Or at least he thought he was.  
He never really named that weird feeling he had for Haru. He wasn’t brave enough. And hearing his own voice pronouncing those words surprised him. He still wasn’t able to believe that could be true.  
Forcing himself to delete his troubled expression from his face once at home, he opened the door.

 _«I’m home…_ »

 _«Oh, Rin…_ » Lori smiled to him. « _Dinner will be ready in a few minutes._ »

 _«Got it._ »

That said, he went to his room, leaving his bag next to his desktop and his coat on the bed. Taking a quick look at his computer, he noticed that Sousuke and Makoto were online. How was he supposed to act in front of his friends, now? How could he hide what happened with Haru from them? Acting normal meant having to face Haru as well and it was something far too difficult, as things were now. On the other side, he was pretty sure Haru was going to do the same. That was just so pathetic…  
Hearing Russell calling him for dinner, he went downstairs.

 _«Are you hungry, Rin?_ » Lori asked with a smile.

Rin sat with a light sigh. « _More or less…_ »

The truth was that he wasn’t at all, but making someone worry for him was the last thing he wanted to happen.  
Everyone started eating, in silence, but he could feel Lori’s eyes on him even without looking at her.

 _«Are you feeling well?_ » she asked, in fact, after a while. « _You look a bit down, lately…_ »

She knew him well enough, by now.

 _«It’s nothing. I’m just upset because I can’t manage to swim as fast as I want,»_ Rin simply replied, without looking away from the food on his plate. « _I guess it’s just a bad period. It’ll pass._ » Then he smiled to his little family. « _You don’t have to worry for that._ »

And he was really hoping that could be the truth. It’s said that time heals anything, after all.  
After dining and helping Lori with some housework, he went back to his room, sitting in front of his PC. The will to avoid thinking was tormenting him. Maybe chatting with Sousuke could be useful.  
Clicking on his friend’s name, he saw his figure appear on the screen within a few seconds.

«Oi, Rin… What’s up?»

His green-eyed friend raised a hand to greet him, with the usual slightly bored expression on his face.

Rin sighed, a bit relieved. «Nothing new. I just wanted to chat a bit.»

Sousuke grinned. «Homesickness again?»

Hearing that, Rin looked away, snorting. «Not even a bit.»

That was a bad answer to a bad question. In fact, Sousuke stared at his reaction for a few seconds.

«Are you ok?»he asked, a bit perplexed.

Rin sighed again, hiding his face on his crossed arms. «I just had a bad day.»

«Trainings?»

«Yeah…»

«Well, you can’t expect to swim perfectly every day.»

«I have to swim perfectly every day,» Rin replied, without changing position. It was a random chat, but it was better than silence.

Sousuke sighed. «I won’t tell you not to overwork yourself again.»

«Yet you’re doing it.»

«Oh! Makoto’s online. I’m going to add him, here.»

Rin immediately raised his head. There was a high risk Haru could be there too.

«Hey Sousuke, wai-»

«Oh! Rin, hi!»

Makoto’s bright smile appeared on the monitor. Noticing that Haru wasn’t there, Rin sighed with relief, greeting his friend.

«Rin was complaining about not being able to maintain his perfect standards every day,» Sousuke said, addressing to the young man just appeared on the screen, sardonically smiling. «He’s winning so many races that hearing him complain almost makes me feel sick. Tell him something too.»

Makoto laughed. «I think bad days are normal, Rin.»

«I know that.»

«I was telling it to Haru as well, some minutes ago.»

Rin startled. «Is he there too?»

«Oh, yeah…» Makoto replied, then pointing at something in front of him. «I’d call him, but now he’s sleeping. I went with him during his trainings, today, and I can say he had a bad day too, believe me. He said he couldn’t sleep at all, last night, and so…»

The boy directed a smile towards his red-headed friend.

«You see? Even Haru can’t keep up perfectly every day. Tomorrow everything will be better.»

Hearing those words, Rin felt his heart skip a beat. Suddenly, something heavy started pressing on his chest, so much that he stood up, forcing himself to look calm.

«I know, Makoto. Now I think I’ll go take a shower and then go straight to bed, because I’m as tired as him.»

«Oh… ok…» Makoto stared at him, a bit perplexed, but then he smiled again. «Goodnight, then!»

«See you tomorrow, Rin,» Sousuke added. «Tell us know how your times will be.»

«Sure.»

Doing his best to smile convincingly, Rin greeted the both of them, rushing then to the bathroom, and once under the safe, relaxing touch of the hot water on his body, he finally let that huge weight in his chest go. Unstoppable tears started running on his face, hidden from the drops all around him. Forcing himself not to scream nor sob was unbelievably painful. What he heard stroke his heart with a tremendous force. Somehow, his mind completely deleted Haru’s point of view. He was only worried about what he could think of him. He was stupid enough to think he was feeling a bit better just because he managed to get rid of a few words, but that was just the beginning. Hearing how what he said affected Haru was the final blow.  
He angrily threw a punch to the wall. He wasn’t thinking about how Haru could feel. He wasn’t thinking about how troublesome what he said could have been. He wasn’t thinking at all. He just wanted to be freed of what he felt. How selfish of him. How could he even face him, now? He knew him well enough to be sure he wasn’t even interested in that kind of things. Even supposing Haru could react well, he was the one who couldn’t. He wanted to be with him so much that it was hurting, so much that he was sure he could end up tying him down, to obtain that. He already tried to do so, in the past. But he didn’t want to be an obstacle. How could he go back to being friends with him, while feeling like this? How could he be friend with Haru, when friendship was not what he wanted from him anymore? How could they both feign ignorance, this time? He stepped on a landmine without noticing. Haru’s reaction was the confirmation he managed to cut a tie, and even if he was the one who wanted that, now he was feeling as if his own heart was being torn apart, just like the bond between him and his dear friend. It was better that way. It was really better that way. As Makoto said, tomorrow would have been better.  
But no matter how many tears he shed, he wasn’t able to believe it.

*** 

The sunlight was sparkling on the water surface in front of him. He was able to hear Makoto’s voice cheering for him among the people on the bleachers. Then the words _‘Take your marks’_ came out of the speakers and, as soon as he heard the start signal, the water was surrounding him. Floating through that blue universe, he could erase all the thoughts from his mind. The sensation of the water letting him go forward, faster and faster, was somehow exciting. When he did the turn, his speed increased even more. Some seconds after, he finally touched the wall, coming back to reality and hearing all the voices and screams around him. Without looking at the results, he climbed up the poolside, noticing his coach and his teammates enthusiastically complimenting with him. That reaction was enough to make him understand how the race went.  
Once he got out from the locker room, noticing Makoto waiting for him, he threw at him his new medal.

Catching it, the green-eyed boy smiled. «You almost broke your previous record. Good job, Haru-chan!»

«Are you going to call me that way forever?»

«As Nagisa would say, Haru-chan is Haru-chan,» Makoto joked.

Haru replied with a light snort, taking his bag.

«Are you sure you don’t want to have lunch with your team, Haru?»

«Yeah, I’ve been busy with trainings because of this race, anyway, and we had dinner together almost every time. I’ll have lunch with you guys, today.»

«Ahah! Ok! Sousuke is waiting for us at his family’s restaurant.»

«I hope there’s mackerel on the menu.»

Haru heard Makoto laugh behind him, while going outside, under the scorching summer sun.  
His team wanted to celebrate their victory like always, but he wasn’t feeling like that was something to celebrate. Lately, he was just racing because he needed to stay in the water, almost as he used to do when he was younger. Instead of caring about his times, he was paying attention to the feelings and the sensations he was getting while flowing through the water. He was even able to measure his speed, through that, and the faster he could get, the better he was feeling. That was something really soothing.

«I see you won again,» Sousuke told him, standing up, when they entered in the restaurant.

«Whatever…» was the simple reply.

«Seriously, you piss me off. Try to be more enthusiastic about winning.»

«What for?»

The tall man just sighed. «You’re hopeless, Haru. Sit down, you two. I’ll ask my father to prepare something for us.»

Haruka looked around, choosing a chair. Even if Sousuke was working at the swim club, he continued to help his father as well, especially during his days off, and so they occasionally stopped by to grab a bite. That day, they arrived at the restaurant after the closure, but Sousuke told them they could have lunch there, for free, with him, since the staff hadn’t eaten yet.  
After some minutes, Sousuke brought their food, joining them at the table.

«Here, you even got your mackerel. You’re lucky today.»

Haruka looked more than happy about what was served to him.

«So? How was the race?»

«Nothing special…»

«Are you really that modest or do you act like that just to make people angry?»

If there was something Sousuke couldn’t stand was Haru’s carefree attitude towards swimming, but since, despite that, his friend was taking things seriously, he ended up complaining just to bother him. In fact, Haru was already giving him a bad look.

Makoto laughed. «Come on, you two…»

«It’s his fault,» Haru replied.

Sousuke glared at him.

«Anyway, Haru,» Makoto continued. «Now that you’re done with this race, you could chat a bit more online, when you’re at home. I don’t even remember the last time I saw you talking with Rin.»

Hearing those words, Haru stopped with his chopsticks in midair for half a second, but then kept eating.

«I can’t. I have another race coming. The coach completely filled my training regime.»

«Does he want to kill you?» Sousuke asked, sarcastically. «Even Rin said he was busy with his trainings. He can be found online more and more rarely.»

«Is there something we don’t know going on between you two?» Makoto asked, innocently perplexed.

This time, Haru felt pretty worried and looked at his friends, almost holding his breath.

«Like what?»

«I don’t know… Like… the national team trials?»

Hearing that reply, Haru lightly sighed, relieved. «No, absolutely nothing like that.»

And he started eating again.  
Once he got home, that evening, he looked at his phone. Was he allowed to call him? He stared at his number for a while, but then he gave up, sighing. A couple of months had passed, after what happened with Rin, and he never heard from him ever since. Only once, at Makoto’s place, he saw him online, but as soon as their eyes met, he said he had to go and quickly greeted everyone. All the time that passed and his own calm attitude were allowing him to act as if nothing happened, when he was with his friends. His full schedule was just an excuse, after all. Almost an excuse. The truth was that he was swimming non-stop in order to avoid owing his friends another explanation and also because swimming was making him feel less restless, but there wasn’t a single day he wasn’t wondering what to do. Rin was refusing to talk with him and on the other hand he had no idea of what he could tell him. He was terribly afraid of hurting him, because no matter how much he cared about Rin, he was sure he couldn’t return those feelings. He wished he could, just to make Rin feel better, but something like that couldn’t happen simply because you wish for it, out of the blue. Furthermore, another thing worrying him now was the fact that, to avoid him, Rin was beginning to stay away from his friends too. Even Makoto and Sousuke were starting to suspect something, though what they were thinking ended up being completely wrong.  
Sinking in his futon, Haru stared at the phone next to him. How could they get into a mess like that? 

It really was a mess.  
Rin looked at Sousuke and Makoto, who were talking with each other inside his computer screen. They just raised a topic for the fact he and Haru couldn’t talk to each other anymore because of the massive trainings. Looked like Haru gave them the same cheap excuse. The only difference was that Haru was actually improving, unlike him. He wasn’t able to get a hold of himself. Not completely, at least. That part of him that used to aim at Haru because of swimming was both the cure and the poison.

«For a moment, I really thought it had something to do with the national team.»

Makoto was still thinking about the better explanation he could find. He was dangerous, almost more than Sousuke.

«I said it’s nothing like that. It’s just a chance, Makoto. Everything will be back to normal as soon as we have more free time. Why do you even care that much?»

«Because it’s weird.»

«I agree,» Sousuke lazily commented.

Rin snorted. The last thing he wanted to remember was how much he used to stick to Haru, especially now that he was finally starting to feel better.

«We still text each other, sometimes.»

That was a lie, but he had to do something about his wannabe-detective friends.  
Suddenly sensing something vibrating in his trousers pocket, he picked his phone. That was probably one of his teammates that wanted to ask him about that week’s training regime.  
But as soon as he saw the name on the screen, he felt as if someone just punched his chest. It was Haru.

Noticing his reaction, Makoto stared a bit worried at him. «Rin, is something wrong?»

Rin stood up, barely looking away from his phone. «I-I’m sorry… It’s an important call. I’ll be back in a while!»

Ignoring his friends’ perplexed face, he run out of the house, to avoid being heard by Lori and Russell. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to answer. Haru wasn’t hanging up.  
Right when he was beginning to think he was finally forgetting what happened, _this_ happens. His heart was racing. What was he supposed to do? His finger was ready to block the call, but in the end he forced himself to do the opposite, bringing the phone to his ear. For some seconds, only silence. Probably, none of them thought the other one would answer that call and now they weren’t able to decide who was going to talk first.  
Then, he finally heard Haru’s voice.

«I…»

The blue-eyed boy hesitated, not knowing what to do. He wasn’t really expecting Rin to pick up the phone.

«It’s… it’s been a while…» was the only thing he could say.

Rin listened to that without saying a word. He wanted to speak, but he was almost paralyzed. He wanted to reply, but his voice wasn’t coming out. His throat was refusing to work and anyway the replies he could think of were so silly he discarded all of them.  
Haru patiently waited. He could hear some cars passing by. Was he taking a walk? Deciding what to say was pretty hard. He wanted to act natural, but Rin’s reaction, not to mention the fact he actually answered, caught him completely off guard. He was suddenly feeling sorry. Maybe calling him was a bad move, but it was a bit late for regrets, now.

«Rin…» he retried, as cautiously as possible. «Is… everything ok?»

How could he ask something like that? It was obvious it wasn’t!  
Rin just stood still, unable to talk. He had a lump in his throat. That question disturbed him more than he thought it could. Sincerely hoping not to feel like crying, he tried to think about a possible answer. Not being able to say anything was beginning to irritate him, but there wasn’t much to do about it.  
Haru listened to his silence. Even without words, he was able to feel how Rin was feeling. He could almost picture him in his head. Was calling him a bad choice, after all?  
He was just about to say something else, when Rin interrupted him.

«Just… forget everything. I’ll make do, somehow,» he quickly whispered, before hanging up.

Haru stared at his open wardrobe, without even moving, listening to the _toot-toot_ coming from the phone. There was no way he could do that! Not as long as Rin was feeling that bad. He was running away. Was letting him go the only right thing to do?

Rin put the phone back in his pocket. Saying those few words felt like a torture. His heart was refusing to slow down, his hands were freezing cold. He was desperately trying to hide the way he was feeling before going back home. Lori and Russell weren’t blind at all. But as soon as he opened the door, he found Lori in the living room.

 _«Rin, I saw you running out. What happ-»_ She immediately stopped, taking a good look at him. _«Dear, are you feeling ok?_ »

He saw her worried expression, but everything he could do was leaning at the door behind him. His heart was beating so much he felt like everything was spinning. The tears and the words he was refusing to let go were pressing on his chest and his throat so much that it was painful.

 _«Rin…»_ Seeing no reaction, Lori just warmly embraced him. « _It’s ok, I’m here…_ »

That gesture finally melted some of the ice he was feeling inside him and his sight rapidly became blurred because of the tears. He let the woman hug him, without moving, without talking, without even thinking. Hearing Haru’s voice suddenly made him wish he could be there, with him, talking face to face. But they were far away from each other, it was right that way, and that thought collapsed on him like an avalanche. He was tired of forcing himself to pretend Haru wasn’t _that_ important. He found it strange, at first: how could he discover his feelings just now? But they’d been really knowing each other for just a bit more than two years, after all. When they were children, they were too young to think about that kind of feelings and stayed together for too little. Lori was still remembering how much he used to talk about him. Even after that short stay at Iwatobi, he was completely absorbed by his new friend already. When they found each other again, four years later, they wasted a whole year fighting, but even then Haru was everything there was in his mind. During the last two years, things started changing: they really became friends and he did everything he could to be able to keep swimming with Haru. There were a lot of swimmers faster than him for sure, but Haru was everything he could see. He never openly realized it was him or nothing. He simply didn't want anyone else to be his aim and he never wondered why or how. Though he was ready to go for the national team even without him, after Haru’s crisis he brought him to Australia without a second thought, to try to get him out of his slumber, just like Haru did with him the year before. He never questioned that obsession. He never looked for a definition. He never thought it could be love. Not until he had to part from him again. Not until he was reunited with him again. It was just too painful. And he couldn’t take it anymore. 

*** 

«It’s been a while since the last time we could speak with Rin.» Makoto stared at his phone. «Lately we just communicate through texts. Even Sousuke told me the same. Do you know something?»

Haru, who was walking beside him, shook his head. «Nothing more than you do.»

And that was almost the truth. After the last time he called him, he avoided contacting him again for a few weeks. Feigning ignorance and hiding what happened was becoming harder, but Makoto apparently interpreted his nervous behavior as a way of being a bit upset because Rin wasn’t as communicative as he used to be. He was a bit relieved, at least, because Rin was still replying to Makoto and Sousuke’s texts. He was giving the silent treatment only to him. Despite sounding like a bad thing, it was actually good. He couldn’t blame him. In his place, he’d have probably done the same thing. But that was a bit annoying in any case and he was tired of avoiding him, tired of thinking about what to do, tired of not having him in his life anymore.  
Sighing, he took out his phone.

 _Get a hold of yourself, you idiot…_ , he thought, sending him a text asking for his times.

Maybe something usual and normal like that could help. He waited for a reply the whole day and even the day after, then he just sent him another text, asking the same thing and trying to sound as if he thought Rin forgot to reply. He didn’t want to make it seem like he was ignoring what Rin was feeling. In a sense, Rin himself told him to forget what happened, but since none of them could really do that, acting normal was the only useful thing he thought of and probably the best one.  
Finally, the third day he received an answer. There was just a plain _‘Next time’_ , but it was better than nothing. He replied with a simple _‘Ok, but don’t forget!’_.  
Seriously, being his friend was bothersome. But he couldn’t avoid smiling. Things _could_ get better, after all.  
And that was what happened. Slowly, Rin started to reply to his text more regularly. It was always the bare minimum, but it was something. Time passed and he finally started to feel lighter, to feel like everything was going to be ok, this time.  
But on the other end, it wasn’t exactly the same.  
Rin sighed, looking at the new text he received from Haru. He didn’t know how to feel about that behavior. He just started to reply because he didn’t want Haru to worry too much anymore, but his caring so much for him was just preventing his feelings from disappearing.  
He used to think that living far away from Japan was helpful, but he soon understood that he was only trying to hide behind that belief. Being apart wasn’t useful at all.  
During his trainings, he found a way to turn his restlessness into speed, somehow, but he was reaching a dead end. He wasn’t able to improve, to go even further.

 _«Rin, what’s up with you? You’re almost the best swimmer in my team. You can’t afford losing so many seconds!_ »

Rin climbed out of the pool. His coach was scolding him again. That was happening more and more often. There was something wrong with the water. He wasn’t able to flow through it like he used to. Realizing he was beginning to understand all that bullshit Haru used to say was sadly funny.

 _«I’m sorry, coach. I won’t let it happen again._ »

 _«You said that the last time too,_ » the man sighed, patiently, crossing his arms. « _Listen, boy… If you need some time to get a grip, I’ll let you relax as much as you want._ »

 _«I don’t need time. I need to swim more._ »

 _«Swimming more could even be counterproductive, the way you are now, Rin._ »

Rin clenched his fists, staring at the floor. « _Let me try again._ »

 _«Rin…_ »

 _«Please, coach!_ »

Looking at his desperate look, the man sighed again. « _I want to make clear that I’m not telling you to stop coming. You’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever trained and I can’t afford losing an element like you. I don’t want to know what’s going on in your head. I’m just saying you need to relax._ »

What did 'relax' mean? The more he was hearing that word, the more he was feeling like his coach was telling him to stop swimming. He couldn't do that. Not this time.  
Slightly bowing and without saying anything more, he put his goggles on, before diving again. Why there had to be another wall? Why not even swimming was possible without Haru? Why was he slowing down? He couldn't slow down. He couldn't.

 _«Rin, do you want to come with us and have some fun, this evening?_ »

Even his teammates were bothering him. He sighed, putting his belongings into his bag and going out from the locker room.

 _«I'm sorry, Steve, I'm not in the mood._ »

 _«That's why we're asking! Don't mind what the coach said!_ »

 _«I said I'm not in the mood!_ »

He raised his voice. He didn't mean to, but he was too upset. Feeling a bit guilty, he stared at his worried friends for a few seconds, then he headed towards home without saying anything else. Things were getting worse and worse. He was running in a labyrinth. He knew everyone was worried and keeping everything inside him was more difficult every day. There were times he was feeling so anxious he had to interrupt whatever he was doing and just run somewhere to relax, alone. That was one of those times.  
Once he got home, he rushed to his bedroom, leaving his bag on the floor and lying on his bed with a sigh, covering his eyes with his arms. His heart was running so fast he was fearing it could explode. His hands were freezing and covered in cold sweat.  
_Calm down, calm down... ,_ he kept repeating to himself, in his head. Attacks like that were happening more and more often and even if he knew they were going to pass, waiting and hoping to feel better was horrible.  
He heard Lori open the door.

 _«Rin, are you okay?_ » she asked, worried.

 _«Yeah…_ » he replied, covering his face with his hands. « _I'm just tired..._ »

 _«If you need to talk, we're here for you, you know?_ »

Rin turned towards her, reassuringly smiling. « _I'm really just tired. You don't have to worry._ »

Lori smiled back. « _Ok, then. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes._ »

 _«Got it._ »

He watched her close the door. He knew she wasn't believing what he kept telling her during the past weeks, but at least he wanted to make it look like he was able to settle everything on his own. The truth was that he was slowly surrendering, instead, trying to make everyone rest assured while he was sinking more and more. He couldn't find a way back. Even having Haru worrying for him was almost useless. What he wished for the most was being able to be with him again, but that was also what he wanted to avoid the most. He was at his wit's end.  
The only thing he was really feeling like doing was swimming, or rather, running after that record he never managed to break, the one he registered when he swam against Haru, almost a year before. He kept trying for weeks, training almost nonstop. He was determined to succeed, to let his coach and his team know he was still worth something. He just had to train more. He could do it. He had to.  
Looking at the chronometer his teammate was holding, during another training session, Rin snorted. He was still too slow.

 _«Again!_ » he said, diving another time.

There was no way he could surrender. Not to this.  
But when he touched the wall, those seconds were even more than before.  
He was about to dive again, when he heard his coach’s voice.

 _«Rin! Come here for a sec!_ »

Nervously sighing, he got rid of his goggles and cap, approaching the man. More complaints?

 _«I’ll do better, coach. You don’t have to-_ »

 _«Rin, you’re overworking yourself, lately. This is not going to be good._ »

 _«I’m not overworking myself,»_ Rin replied, heating up.

 _«You are, boy. And you know it._ »

Rin looked away, clenching his fists. Sousuke telling him that was already more than enough.

His coach put a hand on his shoulder. « _What I want to say, Rin, is that trying to get faster is useless, if you can’t._ »

 _«What does it mean that I can’t? I used to swim faster than this!_ »

 _«But now you aren’t._ »

_«That’s-»_

_«I already told you this before and I’ll tell you again: take a break._ »

 _«But-_ »

 _«This is not a suggestion. Not anymore._ »

Rin widened his eyes, unwilling to believe what he just heard. « _Are you… kicking me out?_ »

The man laughed. « _Are you kidding me? Not by any chance!_ »Then he got serious again. « _But I will, if you go on like this. If you don’t stop training like this, you’re out from the next races._ »

Rin was dumbfounded. Even the words he wanted to say stopped reaching his brain.

 _«Don’t worry boy! Take it as a little vacation!_ »

Patting his shoulder again with a big grin, his coach left to go train some of his teammates, while he just stood there, blankly staring at the light blue floor. He was feeling as if all his strength was gone.  
Once he got home, he barely saw the sweet smile Lori directed at him.

 _«Hello, Rin! You’re just in time for-_ »

 _«I’m not hungry._ »

He didn’t even care about not making her and Russell worry anymore. He wanted to sleep, but all he could do was staring at the wall next to him till late at night.  
The morning after, he heard Lori knock at his door.

 _«Rin, aren’t you going to train?_ »

He hoped that ignoring her could be enough, uselessly.

 _«Rin…»_ She entered the room.

He curled up in his blanket. « _Today I’ll pass._ »

 _«Rin, what’s happening?_ »

He wasn’t even trying to hide how he was feeling and that was making her worry even more, but he just stayed silent and Lori eventually left. He was feeling guilty, for that. Terribly. But he couldn’t act otherwise.  
He remained in bed till the sound of his phone receiving a text made him get up. Which one of his friends might be, this time? He watched the screen: Haru again. The best way to start his “vacation”. Writing a quick answer, he threw his phone on the desk again, flopping onto his chair. That was a terrible déjà-vu. Three years before, he was cut out from a race just like this. He wasn’t learning from his mistakes at all. That was really pathetic.  
He barely managed to dodge Lori’s questions during the whole day. How long was he supposed to act like that? He wasn’t even caring anymore.

_«Rin, please, let’s talk…»_

After dinner, she was in his room again.

 _«About what?_ » he asked, lazily clicking on an icon.

 _«Don’t play dumb, Rin. It’s been months, by now. Do you think we’re that blind?_ »

He didn’t answer.

 _«Rin, please, if not with us, talk with someone else, call your friends, your mom, your sister. You can’t go on like this._ »

 _«Aren’t you all tired of telling me that?_ » He stood up, getting some clothes. « _I’m taking a shower._ »

Lori just helplessly watched him go away, staring then at the pictures on his desk. That bright smile was almost disappeared from Rin’s face.  
She noticed the little light blinking on his cell phone, that just rang again.  
Was there a way to put an end to this? 

*** 

«Haru, are you done?»

«Just a sec…»

Packing the last clothes, Haruka left his apartment with Makoto. Another boring day of lessons  was starting.  
The wind was pretty strong, that morning, but it was sunny and still pretty hot. Summer was going to end in a couple of weeks, anyway. That was a pity.  
He couldn’t wait for noon: training again. Things were going on just fine. That busy and weird year was slowly coming to an end.  
He was lazily taking notes during English class, when his phone started vibrating. Looking at it and seeing an unknown and weird number, he just put it back in his pocket, ignoring it. It was probably someone who wanted to sell him something.  
But during the day, he received a few more calls from it. At the fourth one, while walking towards the pool facility, he decided to answer. That stranger was really annoying.

«Who’s-»

 _«Haru, it’s me: Lori._ »

Hearing that almost made him drop his phone. Why was she calling him? But he already knew what or rather _who_ that call was about.

 _«D-did something happen?_ »

 _«It’s Rin…_ » she answered.

Her voice sounded really worried. He listened to everything Lori told him. That idiot. What was he doing? Was answering to his texts just a farce? And he was thinking everything was going on just fine! How annoying! He had to expect it, but he decided to be optimistic. How could he even believe everything was good, after the last time he heard Rin’s voice?! That was the last drop.

«Haru, what’s happening?!»

Makoto was running towards him. He rushed there as soon as he told him he was in front of the airport, two days after Lori’s call.

«I’ll go to Sydney for a couple of days. I know it’s sudden, but…»

«After all, something did happen with Rin, didn’t it?»

His friend was looking at him, clearly worried. In the end, he never stopped believing that something was wrong. Just as expected from Makoto.

«Don’t worry,» Haru replied, smiling. «It’s nothing bad. He just needs my help with something.»

His friend wasn’t convinced at all, but he just smiled back.

«Ok, then. Have a good trip. And don’t get lost.»

«I won’t. See you in a few days, Makoto.»

«Say hi to Rin for me!»

Raising a hand while walking away, Haru greeted him one last time.  
There was no way he could say no to Lori. As soon as he heard her voice, he understood how bad the situation was. No matter how much he was complaining, he was worried at least as much as she was.  
Sighing, he stared at the houses and the city lights getting smaller and smaller, out of the window.  
Dealing with Rin surely was troublesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to point out my little point of view about Haru: most of the story is written from his point of view and, judging from his personality in the novel and during the first series, I think he's not serious when he says something is bothersome. On the contrary, the more he thinks that, the more he actually cares. He just doesn't like complicated stuff. That's all. :) He's a bitter sweet cinnamol roll. ~♥ Also, I love MakoHaru and SouRin interactions way too much. Haru and Rin wouldn't survive without their best friends. XD  
> Thanks a lot for reading!!! See you next water time!! :)


	7. On the surface

_«Sightseeing._ »

That word wasn’t a mystery anymore. The man in front of him sized him up because of the effort he put into what he said, but he let him pass without asking much more.  
He was in Australia again. Alone. If it wasn’t for Rin, he would’ve never done something that crazy.  
He looked at his phone. About 6PM. He wanted to arrive sooner, but since he had to make do with the first flight available, that was all he could get.  
The temperature was warm. If in Japan it was almost autumn, in Sydney spring was approaching. The constantly warm temperature was one thing he really liked about those places. There was more time to swim outside, during the year. Could that be one of the reasons why Rin decided to live there?  
Getting on a train, he sat down with his bag, looking at the stop chart next to him. He was able to understand English well enough, now, and luckily he could also remember how to arrive at the right district by train. Neither Lori nor him let Rin know he was going there. He just texted Lori telling her he was arriving soon. Rin was going to get angry for sure, but that was none of his business. Talking some sense into his head was all he wanted to do. He was ready to punch him, if necessary.  
Looking at his feet on the metallic floor, he heavily sighed. What was Rin’s state of mind? He really thought things were going better. He hoped Rin managed to let what happened behind him. He was ready to set everything apart, just as he asked. Why and how did he get like this? He couldn’t bear to see him suffer.  
Noticing that the next stop was the right one, he stood up. Finding Rin’s home wasn’t as difficult as the last time. That little house made of bricks appeared in front of him in a few minutes. Was Rin going to be there?  
Once in front of the door, he suddenly started to feel anxious. Questions and doubts were piling up again and ringing the bell took him more time than necessary, but in the end he did it, not knowing if he was hoping for Rin to open the door or not.

 _«Could you go open the door, please, dear?_ »

_«Yeah, I’m going…»_

Grumbling because of Lori’s request, Rin climbed down the stairs. Who the heck could visit them at such an hour? He was really hoping that wasn’t one of his teammates wanting to know why he skipped trainings for three days straight. Explaining would have been far too difficult and frustrating.  
Scratching his head, he grabbed the doorknob.

_«Who’s th-»_

But he immediately froze. Who was standing in front of him now was someone far more annoying than any of his teammates. He could almost hear his brain stop, unable to process what he was seeing. Just what was _he_ doing there?! But he put two and two together pretty soon.  
Haru was still waiting for some kind of reaction. That half dumb and half shocked look on Rin’s face was almost irritating, although he had to admit a certain relief for being able to see him again after all that time.

«Are you going to let me in or not?»

Rin just snorted, letting him pass and walking away.

 _«Oh, Haru! Welcome! You’re just in time for dinner!_ » Lori greeted him with a bright smile. « _Rin, don’t run away when we have a guest! I need a hand with preparations,»_ she added, blocking the boy who was going upstairs again.

Haru watched a reluctant Rin turn back, while Lori was taking his bag. He was literally emitting a “I-don’t-want-to-be-here” aura.

 _«Here, Haru, give me your luggage. I’ll put it in Rin’s room. Like I said, you can stay here for the night._ »

 _«Oh… ok. Thanks._ »

The woman brought his stuff upstairs and he just stood there, sheepishly looking around while remembering he didn’t have to get rid of his shoes to go in, in that country.  
Now that he reached his goal, he had no clue about what to do or what to say. He stared at his red-headed friend, who was busy at the stove, clearly ignoring him, clearly really angry and probably trying to avoid causing a scene. He was surely the last person Rin could expect to find on his doorstep. How to blame him?  
Not finding anything better to do, he sat on the sofa, observing Rin, pretty sure he wasn’t going to look back at him. There was a really tense and heavy atmosphere. He didn’t expect to find him at home. He used to come back home later. The thought he could have been skipping his trainings crossed his mind. Could his situation be _that_ bad? Maybe it was just a feeling, but he also looked a bit thinner.  
The sudden sound of a key and the door opening interrupted that awkward silence.

 _«Oh! Haru, you’re here!_ » Russell greeted him with a big smile. _«I’m happy to see you again! Is everything alright?_ »

 _«Yes…_ »

Noticing his efforts to think about something to say, the man patted his shoulder. « _English is not easy, uh? But you’ll get used to it. Stay here for a while and you’ll learn everything!_ »

 _«T-thanks…_ »

Haru wished he could say something more, but understanding the language and talking were on a totally different level.

 _«Let’s see, then…_ » Lori cheerfully came back to the kitchen. « _I think we can start to eat!_ »

Haru wasn’t able to comprehend how she and Russell could maintain such high spirits. He was almost feeling pressed under Rin’s bad mood. They even managed to make his friend sit next to him at the table, even if he tried to get as far from him as possible anyway. Yes, Lori told him how the situation was, though she couldn’t give him details just because she didn’t know anything, but he wasn’t ready to deal with the real thing as much as he believed to be. Punching him was already out of question.

 _«So tell us, Haru, how’s life in Tokyo? You’ve been living there for about a year, right?_ » Russell asked, handing out to him a bowl of salad.

 _«It’s… nice…_ » Haru racked his brain in order to put together a decent sentence. « _The city is big and noisy, but I like it._ »

 _«And your friends?_ »

 _«They’re ok. Two of them are… working in a swim club, as coaches._ »

 _«Oh, all your friends are still swimming, then?_ »

 _«Yes…_ »

He was trying to answer their questions in the best way possible. Rin was obviously refusing to help him, and his Australian family was clearly ignoring his bad mood. He was pretty nervous. Knowing Rin, he wondered if they were trying to make him snap. For now, he was silently leaning to the table, eating something once in a while.

Lori smiled to him again. « _And your trainings? How are they going? Are you getting better?_ »

He feared that question. He was having the feeling it was a sort of taboo.

« _U-uhm… I…_ »

And he wasn’t wrong. In that moment, Rin suddenly stood up.

 _«I’m not hungry anymore._ »

That said, he went upstairs, in silence, closing the door of his room.  
For a moment, nobody talked. They just kept eating, trying to ignore the atmosphere that became heavy another time. But in the end Lori sighed and her smile disappeared.

 _«I’m sorry I called you for this, Haru. I thought that calling one of his friends could help him to feel better. We were a bit more accustomed to you and so…_ »

 _«I hope you won’t get in trouble for coming here…_ » Russell added.

Haru shook his head. « _It’s ok._ »

 _«Can you talk to him?_ »

This time he nodded and Lori gratefully smiled.

 _«Well, then… We’ll go for a walk and let you boys have a chat._ »

After clearing the table, she took her bag.

« _I’m sorry for Rin. He got rightfully angry because I told him nothing about you coming here._ »

 _«He’s probably a bit homesick,_ » Russell said, with a smile. « _Having you here will surely cheer him up!_ »

Haru was doubting that, but he smiled back anyway, greeting his kind hosts with a little bow before they closed the door. And now? Everything he thought he could say to Rin suddenly seemed useless and harmful. He looked at the stairs leading to the upper floor. He had to try, at least.  
Stopping in front of Rin’s room, he took a deep breath, hoping the door wasn’t locked.

«Rin, I’m coming in.»

The lights were on. The place was a bit more messy than the last time he’d been there. Rin’s black track jacket was hanged to the chair under his desk and his bag was on the floor, between a library and a wardrobe. The desk was covered in papers and books, while the photographs, including the one they gave him for his birthday, were still standing there, in a corner. Rin was lying on his bed, facing the wall.

«Oi, are you sleeping?»

His friend slightly moved and he took that for a “no”.  
He didn’t know what to say and Rin wasn’t feeling like talking, evidently, so he just stood there, in silence. Too many thoughts were running in his head. _How are you feeling? Why didn’t you tell me you felt that bad? Why did you stop calling me?_ All those questions were completely worthless.  
Deciding to try anyway, he opened his mouth, but Rin preempted him.

«What are you even here for?»

«To… talk…»

«About what?»

His voice was cold, emotionless and pretty irritated at the same time.

Haru glanced down to the floor. «About… everything… I guess.»

After his words, they stayed silent again. It was clear what the main topic was, but none of them was ready to bring it up.  
Haru stared at his friend’s back. That was the first time they were meeting in person, after Rin’s confession. He was still standing next to the door: Rin was silently keeping him at distance, but he wasn’t able to move another step in any case. Why was he feeling that agitated now?  
Sighing, he decided to try with another topic.

«I’m here because Lori told me everything, or at least everything she knew.» He looked towards Rin again. «Are you skipping your trainings?» he asked, trying to make it sound like the beginning of a lecture.

The redhead said nothing for a few seconds, then he got up, sitting on his bed without looking at him.

«Let’s say I’ve been forced to take a break.»

Those words were filled with biting sarcasm.

Haru felt surprised, almost alarmed. «Why?»

«Why do you think a coach would tell me that?»

His eyes were finally looking at him, filled with anger, like his voice.  
Haru looked down again, suddenly noticing some numbers written on the papers on the desk next to him. So that was why he stopped sending him his times.

«You’re an idiot,» he mumbled, feeling vaguely sad.

Rin’s times actually got worse because of what happened. Or after what happened. Anyway, _that_ occurring because of _him_ was making him feel both guilty and irritated. He should’ve paid more attention to Rin, but Rin shouldn’t have started to get worse because of a reason like that.  
Recalling how he himself acted almost two years before, however, he had to admit that being under pressure could be extremely painful and the pressure Rin felt was probably nothing to be taken lightly. Emotions, both good and bad, always had a great impact on him.  
He raised his head. Rin wasn’t looking at him anymore.

«Rin, I…»

What could he say? The concern he felt for not being able to be closer to him during that period was almost piercing his heart. It was too late for regrets, now.

«I’m sorry. I… should have called you more of-»

«What for?!» Rin’s enraged voice interrupted him. «What are you here for?! What do you want to talk about?! Isn’t all this ridiculous enough?!!»

«This isn’t-»

«I wish I could avoid feeling like this!» Rin screamed, standing up.

He was bursting out and Haru, almost paralyzed by that sudden reaction, could do nothing but stare at his rage, impotent.

«You don’t understand how I feel! Do you think I did it on purpose?!»

«Rin, I said I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to leave you alone!»

Haru felt his heart burning up too. How could he notice Rin’s feelings? He couldn’t foresee something like that, not even when Rin was acting that strange during his last trip to Japan! Now it was too late to complain and that was why he had to settle things. Seeing his friend in that state was heartbreaking.

«I’m not scared, Rin! And you shouldn’t be either! That’s why I came here! There’s nothing wrong in what you feel!»

«Nothing wrong?! Then tell me: how do you feel about me?!»

At those words, Haru startled. How… did he feel? If he was able to find an answer sooner, he wouldn’t have been there in the first place. He knew what Rin was meaning, but the fact that he, a guy, confessed to him had never been the source of his uneasiness. A part of him was even somehow… relieved, almost happy to know those were his real feelings. Was it normal? How would have any other person acted in his place? He really wondered if he could be able to _love_ Rin, because he was conscious his feelings troubled him way too much. At the same time, however, he couldn’t go with the flow. He felt as if Rin entrusted something even more important than friendship to him and that was precisely what made him take a step back. He couldn’t bring himself to think “let’s try”. Rin’s feelings weren’t a pair of shoes you could give back whenever you realize they don’t fit. He couldn’t take them lightly! He couldn’t give him something he wasn’t even sure he had! He was willing to do anything for Rin. Anything! Except for blindly accepting his feelings.

«Tsk! You see?» Rin clicked his tongue, bitterly smiling because of Haru’s silence. «I don’t want an half-assed attempt to keep being friends like nothing happened. Neither you nor me are able to do so. Not now.» He looked down, darkening. «I shouldn’t have told you anything. Leave me alone. I told you to forget all this and you come here instead.»

Haru clenched his fists. He was right. He was right, but…

«There’s no way I could forget, Rin,» he said, firmly.

Rin gritted his teeth. Why was he being that stubborn?!

«I don’t care. Just go away and let me be.»

«No, I-»

«Go away, I said!!»

«Rin, let me-!»

«Leave me alone!!» he shouted, grabbing Haru’s shirt. «Just go away, damn it!! This is none of your fucking business!!»

«It is!!» Haru insisted, taking his wrists. «What can you do?! What can we do against this?! I am already too involved to let you stay like this! I was wrong when I ignored you and I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t able to acknowledge the way you f-»

In that moment, Rin violently slammed him against the door. Expecting a punch, Haru instinctively squeezed his eyes to get ready, but instead of pain, he suddenly felt something soft on his lips. As soon as he realized what was happening, he completely froze, his eyes wide open, his fists clenched so much they were almost shaking. Though he said he wasn’t afraid, _that_ was somehow scaring him pretty much. What was he supposed to do, now?!  
Rin noticed his tension, under his hands, against his lips. He himself got surprised by what he did. Was it because he wanted to make Haru give up? Was it to make him stop talking nonsense? He did it almost involuntarily, almost hoping to feel repulsed by a real kiss, but the result was much likely the opposite. He wasn’t even able to let him go. He just released the grip a bit, pressing his lips against Haru’s again, more gently.  
Haru felt that change in Rin’s gesture. His grasp became lighter, his breath slowed down and his rage quickly turned into a more tender kind of feeling. Calming down as well, he just let Rin hold him. He couldn’t deny the shock. Such a direct proof of what he was feeling was totally unforeseen. But he wasn’t going to oppose. Being ready to understand his feelings wasn’t a lie and if that was the way Rin chose to pass them to him, then he wasn’t going to fight back. He couldn’t be scared of him.  
Feeling Haru’s body relax, Rin stopped kissing him, leaning on his shoulder.

«Go away, Haru,» he whispered, grinning his teeth. «Why aren’t you running away?»

Haru didn’t move.

«Because without me you wouldn’t have anyone to aim for, isn’t it right?» he answered, lightly. «Are you trying to take this back?»

That wasn’t exactly the reason, but he had to lighten him up at all costs.

«I just didn’t want to…» Rin’s voice was now trembling, broken by tears. «I don’t want to fall for you, Haru.»

Hearing his words, Haru lowered his head, his heart tightening.

«I told you, Rin: I’m here because I’m not afraid of what you feel.»

He could sense Rin’s hands shaking on his shoulders.

«I can’t tell you… I can feel the same,» he added, trying to ignore a little sting in his chest. «But I can… and I will always stay with you, if you need me.»

«You are… an idiot…»

Giving up his last effort to hold back, Rin finally broke down, crying all the tears he hid inside his heart for all those months. The wall blocking him was crumbling up so easily he couldn’t help but realize that in the end Haru really was his only way out. He wanted to tell him ‘thank you’, or ‘sorry’,  but words weren’t able to reach his mouth.  
Haru felt his friend’s body shaking and his feelings pouring out like a flood. Relief almost made him cry as well. He always thought Rin was way stronger than him, always going on with an incredible enthusiasm and force, like a powerful stream, but now he was completely defenseless in his arms, lost and confused. It was almost scary. He didn’t want to see Rin feel that bad. Not again.  
He raised his hands, embracing him in a tight hug, listening to his sobs, feeling Rin’s arms hugging him back with all the strength he had left. Even if he couldn’t return those feelings, Rin was one of the most precious existences in his life and having his old friend back anew was filling his heart with tender happiness. Closing his eyes, he focused on Rin’s hands on his back, on his fast heartbeat, on his hair tickling his neck, staying clung to him till the moment he calmed down. When he finally did, he let him go wash his face and while waiting for him, he plopped on the carpeted floor, leaning to Rin’s bed with a long sigh. After all that tension, his legs weren’t able to hold him up anymore.  
As he saw Rin coming back, almost hiding behind the door with an extremely red face, he couldn’t help but chuckle, making him get even more embarrassed. Rin stopped by his desk, leaning to it, and he turned off the light, switching on the lamp behind him instead, probably to avoid being seen like that. He wasn’t even looking at Haru, clearly uneasy.  
Haru observed him for a moment, in silence, then he turned towards the now darker floor.

«Can I ask you something?» he almost whispered.

Maybe that wasn’t the right moment to talk more, but he wanted to understand. Just…

«How… can you be sure you're not confusing friendship with love?»

He said it quickly, before changing his mind. That probably wasn't something nice to ask, but hopefully Rin was too worn out to get angry again.

«You dare to ask that even after what I did?» he replied, in fact, quietly, though he possibly turned away even more, to hide his face as much as he could.

Haru observed that reaction, a bit sorry. «It’s not that. I just… want to understand how you feel.»

Rin let out a small sigh. «What am I even supposed to say?»

He sat down by the bed as well.

«You…» Then he stopped, looking for the right words, scratching his head to ignore the embarrassment and then sighing again. «… keep turning my life into something I've never seen before… I… guess…»

Hearing those familiar words used that way, Haru felt his cheeks warming up and he looked away as a reflex.

«You're exaggerating. I'm just me.»

Rin bent his legs, crossing his arms on his knees. «You might be 'just you', but… not to me,» he said, hiding his face between his arms at those last words.

Haru curled up too, staring at the floor while playing with a finger on its soft surface.

«How long… have you been feeling like this?»

«I wish I could tell you. I don’t even know it myself anymore.»

«What should that mean?»

«Nothing. Probably, graduation just made something snap.»

Haru observed his light smile, pointed at the ceiling. His last sarcastic words trembled a bit. He didn’t want to make him cry again. How to cheer him up? A nostalgic memory suddenly appeared in his head. Funny, thinking about it now. Even if it belonged to a Rin probably not yet conscious of his emotions, those words suddenly found a new meaning.

 _«My shining…_ » he sighed, strangely feeling pressed under the now clearer extent of his friend’s feelings. «Was I really the one you were talking about, then?»

Rin immediately raised his head, blushing and looking funnily flustered. «Oi, don't bring that up now! It has nothing to do with this!»

Haru couldn’t avoid giggling, happy to see him acting more like his usual self, but he got serious again, turning once more towards the floor. He wasn’t really feeling like shining. Rin was undoubtedly the one feeling worse, at the moment, but he couldn’t help feeling a burden. He went there to help him, but there was nothing he could do. At least not what would have made Rin feel better. No matter how hard he was examining himself, his own feelings for Rin weren’t enough.

«I'm sorry,» he whispered, clenching his fists to deal with the weird sense of guilt inside him.

«Never mind,» Rin sighed, calmly. «I never expected anything from the very beginning, especially because… well… we’re both… guys.»

Haru saw him look away. He was about to say that wasn’t even the point. What mattered was the fact he couldn’t do anything for his friend in any case. He couldn’t risk to give him hope. He couldn’t underestimate Rin’s feelings, but he couldn’t comprehend or accept them completely either. He had to be careful. The thread linking them was becoming more and more fragile. He was too afraid to break it again.  
Glancing at Rin, surprised, he saw him smile.

«Don’t make that face. You're here and this is enough.»

That said, he lightly punched his friend’s arm.  
Haru gave him a feeble smile as well. It was unfair, but he was willing to protect Rin from the pain he felt because of him. It was like a déjà-vu, like what happened five and then two years before. And even this time, having Rin by his side again was filling his heart with peace. He was too scared of losing him. Just too much.  
Swearing not to talk about what happened any further, they spent a couple of hours sitting there, on the floor, discussing about a way to make Rin’s times improve again. Regardless of his objections, Haru made him promise to go training again, the day after, despite his coach’s orders, and to let him tag along.  
Only late at night, Lori and Russell came back home.  
Opening the bedroom door, the woman smiled, seeing the two boys sleeping, leaning onto each other, with their backs against the bed. Taking a small blanket, she put it on them, turning off the light on the desk.

 _«You do have a really special friend, Rin…»_ she whispered, before leaving. 

*** 

The morning after, disturbed by the sunlight hitting his face, Haru opened his eyes. The first thing he thought was that both his back and his head were leaning on something hard and uncomfortable, and since his neck was hurting too, he raised his head. It took him some seconds to realize where he was and why, but when he did, he suddenly noticed that what he was using as a pillow till a few moments before was Rin’s head on his shoulder. He immediately startled, so violently that Rin woke up too, and as soon as their eyes met, they both screamed, standing up and distancing from each other.

«W-why were you sleeping here?!» Rin shouted, pointing at his friend, while his face was becoming bright red.

Haru, whose face color wasn’t that different, pointed back at him. «You were the one who fell asleep first!»

«You could’ve woken me up!»

«You were dead tired!»

«That doesn’t matter! Now I hurt everywhere and it’s all your fault!»

«It’s not!»

«It is!»

Lori interrupted them, opening the door in her gown, with a smile. « _I’m glad you’re so energetic early in the morning. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes._ »

Staring at her while still pointing at each other, they both snorted, crossing their arms and looking away.  
After eating something, as promised the evening before, Rin led Haru to the pool he used to train at.

«Are you sure I can come too, Rin?»

«Why not? It’s not like we have to hide something from the opposite teams.»

Haru stared at his friend, walking with his hands in his pockets next to him. He was calm and way more serene than the day before, but he looked a bit anxious.

«Are you ready for a comeback?»

«The coach will be mad at me. I should be taking a break now.»

«And you are. Pretend you’re just showing me around.»

«You…» Rin snorted, vaguely blushing.

After changing, they led to the pool.

«Are you still using the indoor one?» Haru asked.

«I think we’ll start using the outside one starting from the next month,» Rin replied.

His blue-eyed friend looked a bit disappointed and that reaction made him smile.  
Entering the enormous light blue room with Rin, Haruka stared at that big place and all the swimmers training and stretching there. He couldn’t imagine it was such an awesome place.  
Rin’s coach’s voice suddenly distracted him.

 _«Rin! I wasn’t expecting you here, today._ »

 _«Well, I… brought a friend,»_ Rin said, making a sign towards Haru with his head. « _He came here from Tokyo._ »

One of Rin’s teammates was running towards them with two more boys.

 _«Ah! Is this the famous Haru?_ »

For a second, Haru wondered why he should have been famous, but realizing the reason, he looked at Rin, that immediately turned away. His ears were pretty red.

 _«He is,»_ Rin said to his friend, reluctantly turning towards Haru again to introduce him. «Haru, these are Steve, John and Leo.»

While saying that, he pointed at a cheerful blonde-haired and blue-eyed guy, a tall, chestnut-haired and grey-eyed one, and an enthusiastic black-haired one.

«They are my teammates during relays.»

 _«Nice to meet you,_ » Haru replied, bowing a bit.

They all introduced themselves to him as well: Steve was from U.S., John was English and Leo came from Italy. He felt surprised by how many different people from different countries were swimming there. In Japan, finding foreigners in colleges was more unusual.

 _«Haru, do you want to swim a bit with us?_ » Steve was impatiently hoping for an affirmative answer.

Haru thought he was almost like a taller Nagisa. Even Leo seemed to be a cheerful guy. That John, instead, was more the silent type.

 _«O-ok… if I can…_ »

 _«Of course you can,_ » Rin replied.

 _«We were going to have a race!_ » Leo added _. «Freestyle. Wanna join us?_ »

Without waiting for an answer, the three boys dragged Haru towards the poolside.  
Rin observed them, smiling.

 _«Aren’t you going too?_ »

He turned towards his coach. « _A-am I allowed to interrupt my… break?_ » he asked, feeling a bit guilty and a bit embarrassed.

The man smiled, gently _. «It depends on how you will swim, don’t you think?_ »

Rin stared at him, dumbfounded, but seeing him smirk, he nodded, and while putting on his cap, he joined his friends.

Steve waved at him. _«Great! Rin, you are swimming too!_ »

Haru observed his red-headed friend taking place in the lane next to his: he was clearly still nervous.

«Hey, Rin…» Getting ready on the diving board, he moved his gaze from Rin to the blue water. «Beat me.»

Hearing those words, Rin startled, surprised. Haru was there, beside him, emitting that weird, shining energy he always felt whenever they were swimming together. That was what he needed. That was what he couldn’t live without. Haru wasn’t challenging him. He was telling him to move on.  
As soon as he heard his coach giving the start signal, he dove. Feeling the water around him, he immediately forgot all the remaining bad sensations he had. If Haru was what he needed to go on, then be it.  
He saw him, swimming in front of him. He was fast, even faster than he could ever remember. But not impossible to reach. The water wasn’t rejecting him anymore. He was able to flow through it as naturally as breathing. Suddenly, he felt adrenaline go through his whole body. He missed all that so much!  
Smiling, he sped up. He was able to reach him, now. Haru was giving his best and that was exactly what he wanted. Only a few meters to the goal.

_I won’t let you down, Haru. Not at all!_

And with one last effort, he touched the wall.

 _«And Rin is our winner!_ »

Hearing his coach’s voice, Rin looked around, astonished. His teammates were touching the wall in that moment and at least half of the other swimmers were staring at him. He turned towards Haru and he saw him smile while raising a hand.

«You see? You did it.»

Happily smiling back, Rin nodded, giving him a high-five.

 _«You are monsters!! It’s not fair!!_ » Leo screamed, from his lane.

 _«You are awesome!!_ _»_ Steve added, running to hold his hands out both to him and to Haru.

They smiled, embarrassed.

 _«Boys, you’re really great!_ » The coach patted their shoulders with a big smile. _«This is national team material, you know?_ »

The two friends, completely amazed by that compliment, looked at each other.

 _«Rin, I think your break can end here,»_ the man said, snickering _. «Now that I know you can actually swim this fast, no more breaks for you! And you too, boy…»_ He turned towards Haruka. « _Tell me the name of your team. I think we’ll have to fear you!_ »

 _«Not as long as I’m here!_ » Rin boasted, grinning.

John pushed him in the water without warning as a response, and everyone burst out laughing.

Leaving that building, a couple of hours later, Rin stretched his arms, relieved.

«I’d never expected things to turn out like this.»

Haru sighed, surpassing him. «Just have more faith.»

«Oi… I don’t want _you_ to tell me something like that, after what happened two years ago.»

Haru didn’t reply.  
Rin followed him in silence for a while, crossing his arms behind his head.

«When are you going to leave?»

«I think I’ll leave tomorrow morning.»

«You think?»

«I haven’t bought the ticket yet, because I rushed here.»

Rin felt hit by those words. «Oi! Are you saying it’s my fau-»

Haru suddenly stopped and he bumped into him.

«Oi!»

But his friend wasn’t listening anymore. He was looking around, apparently trying to find something.

«W-what are you doing?»

«A supermarket.»

«Uh?»

Haru turned towards him with a determined look on his face. «Take me to a supermarket.»

«O-ok…»

A bit confused by that weird request, Rin did as he told him.

«What are you looking for?» he asked, following Haru through the shelves.

«I’ll prepare dinner,» the simple answer was.

«What?»

«Dinner,» Haru repeated, turning. «I want to thank Lori and Russell for letting me stay.»

Rin stopped a bit surprised, but then he smiled.

«Ok! Tell me what you’re looking for. I’ll help.»

Once they got home, the sun was setting. Buying food, looking for a plane ticket and going back to the station took them the whole afternoon. Lori and Russell weren’t at home yet.  
Sighing, a bit bored, while sitting at the dining table with his chin on it, Rin lazily stared at Haru, who, after borrowing an apron, was already starting to cut the meat.

«Do you need a helping hand?»

«Not really.»

They both stayed silent again. Then, after a while, Haru turned towards him.

«You can wash the rice, if you want.»

«Yosh…»

Rin stood up, joining him next to the stove, silently starting to do what he asked. While peeling some potatoes, Haru observed his hands under the running water with the corner of his eye. Though it was true he wanted to thank his hosts somehow, another reason was cooking something Japanese before going back. A sort of remedy for homesickness. Rin hadn’t even wondered why he bought meat and not fish. And it was better that way. Explaining why would have been too bothersome.  
None of them was willing to talk. Only the sound of the running water and the knife cutting vegetables was breaking that awkward atmosphere. Because _it was_ awkward. That was the first time, since the previous night, they found themselves alone in a room.  
Haru took another carrot. Rin was looking calm, but that silence of his was abnormal, as he was particularly focused on the rice in front of him, maybe too much. He himself was suddenly feeling more conscious of Rin’s presence beside him. After what he did and said, it was only natural. But now, even his hands simply moving under the water were… somehow distressing. Everything around Rin became even more unpredictable than usual. Not that he feared he could start acting weird again, but he was aware that he had to pay even more attention to him and his feelings, from that moment on.

«Oi, Haru…»

Suddenly hearing his voice made him flinch. Maybe he was more nervous than he thought.  
Rin stared at his lost expression for a second, perplexed, but then he pointed at the rice, feeling his face heating up when he understood he was the cause of that reaction.

«I-is that enough?»

«Y-yeah… You can cut these, now.»

«Got it,» he simply answered.

Seeing Haru jump like that for apparently no reason made him feel embarrassed again. Not to count the fact that Haru bought something that wasn’t fish-related. Plus, meat curry was one of his favorite dishes. No, that wasn’t a coincidence. He was feeling a strange aura around them, and it wasn’t exactly… comfortable. After what he did the night before, it was just natural. He wasn’t regretting anything, though. Being around Haru was only going to be a bit different, probably. However, he mentally thanked Lori and Russell for coming back home a few minutes later, because both him and Haru couldn’t take that vexing silence anymore.

 _«Oh! This is unexpected! You are the cooks, this evening!_ »

Lori approached them to check what they were doing, curious, while Russell smelled the air with a smile.

 _«This is going to be delicious! What is it?_ »

 _«It’s Japanese curry rice!_ » Rin replied, grinning. « _If you’ll like it, I can cook it for you, sometimes._ »

Lori enthusiastically nodded. « _That would be awesome!_ » Then she turned towards Haru. « _I see you’re a good cook too!_ »

 _«He’s way better than this,»_ Rin said, proudly pointing at his friend with a thumb.

Haru ended up blushing, confused by all those compliments. « _I-it’s… nothing special…_ »

The dinner they made was highly appreciated. Lori happily demanded that recipe and other traditional ones and Russell told them to open a restaurant whenever they’d quit swimming. Rin was almost touched by being able to eat some homemade Japanese cuisine again and Haru had to admit that, despite the fact it wasn’t mackerel, they did a pretty good job.  
After tidying up the kitchen, Rin went taking a shower and Haru stayed downstairs to wait for his turn.

 _«Thanks for the help, Haru!_ » Lori told him smiling, finally sitting down after cleaning up the last things. « _If you want to take a bath, we have another bathroom._ »

 _«Oh… ok, then. Thank You._ »

 _«Then come with me._ »

But after putting one foot on the first step, she stopped, turning towards him again.

 _«I want to thank you for coming here,»_ she whispered, with a warm smile. « _It’s only thanks to you that Rin cheered up again._ »

Haru felt surprised by those words.

« _It was nothing special…»_ he mumbled, a bit embarrassed.

He couldn’t surely tell her the whole story, but what she said was actually the truth. He never really realized it, till that moment.  
When he went out of the bathroom, it was late already. He had to get up really early, the morning after, to go to the airport. That was going to be a pain.  
Entering in Rin’s room, he found him on the bed, listening to some music, his arms as a pillow, his eyes closed and his legs crossed. He climbed the stairs to reach the upper bed without disturbing him, but feeling the bed moving, Rin took off an earphone.

«Oi, Haru, I’m coming to the airport with you, tomorrow.»

«There’s no need to. I can’t get there by myself,» Haru replied, getting under his blankets. «Go training, instead.»

«I’m still on a break.»

«That’s not true.»

«Who cares. I’ll go to the pool a bit later.»

Haru snorted. Making him change his mind was hopeless as usual.

«Do as you want. Now sleep or I won’t wake you up.»

«Yeah yeah…» Rin sighed, turning off the light.

But the morning after, they both ended up oversleeping and they had to rush to the airport without even being able to have breakfast or greet Lori and Russell.

«It’s all your fault, you idiot!!» Rin shouted while running towards the station.

Haru, behind him, was panting even more because of his bag. «Don’t blame me! My phone turned off, but you didn’t even set your own alarm!»

«I’m not the one who has to leave for Japan!!»

«Whatever! Keep running!»

In a way or another, they did it just in time, and, as soon as they arrived at the airport, the speakers announced the flight for Tokyo was ready to leave.

«Then… I’ll… go…» Haru said, trying to catch his breath.

Rin was doubled up, heavily breathing as much as him.

«Yeah…» Taking a deep sigh, he stood up again. «Say hi to everyone, ok?»

«Ok!» Haru smiled. «Are you going to come back for Christmas?»

«Of course!»

«Then see you soon.»

«Yep.»

Walking towards the check in, after a few steps, Haru stopped again, turning, with a scolding look on his face.

«And call, this time.»

Rin laughed, putting his hands in his pockets. «It’ll be done. You too, call when you get back.»

Smiling back to him, Haruka made another few meters.

«Oi, Haru…»

Hearing his name together with steps coming towards him, he looked back, wondering what else his friend had to say, but as soon as he turned, Rin quickly kissed him.  
After half a second of astonishment, Haru terribly blushed.

«What are you doing?!» he exclaimed, covering his mouth with an arm.

Rin put a hand behind the head, embarrassed as well. «I’m greeting you. No one saw us, anyway.»

«They did,» Haru replied, noticing a little child holding hands with his mum pointing at him.

Rin shrugged. «Why do you care? We’ll never meet these people again in our whole life.»

«Whatever! Don’t do this again!»

«Don’t worry, I won’t!»

Haru angrily stared at his happy face for some seconds, his cheeks still bright red, then he just snorted, rapidly walking towards the ticket booth, while hearing his friend say goodbye one more time.  
Really… Rin was hopeless.  
Once on the plane, he gave out a long sigh. Were his trips to Australia always destined to be extremely weird? He took a look at the land getting more and more distant. It was morning and he was tired already. He went there for Rin, but now that everything was solved, he was realizing how much he felt under pressure too, someway. The situation being back to normal, made him feel really relieved, though.  
While thinking that, he touched his lips. “Normal” was kind of a strong word. But it was ok, anyway.  
Was it? He couldn’t help but wonder.  
By the time he arrived in Tokyo, it was almost 2AM, but he found Makoto waiting for him despite the late hour.

«Welcome back!» he said with a smile, as soon as Haru reached him. «Did the trip go well?»

«More or less…» Haru shrugged, heading towards the exit. «Rin says ‘hi’.»

«Is he feeling better, now?»

He was going to reply that he never said Rin was feeling down, but fighting Makoto’s mind reading was completely useless. Luckily there was no way he could be aware of what actually happened.

«You’ll see,» he simply replied.

When he got home, he immediately sunk into his futon without even changing his clothes, hiding his face in the pillow. Just how could travelling be that exhausting?  
Turning, he stared at his dark and silent room. During the flight, he had plenty of time to think about everything that happened. _Everything._  
He was wondering if he took all that too lightly. Or worse, how was he going to face Rin, from now on?  
Was their relationship changed? Was it going to change? And if yes, how? The fact that one of his best friends was actually and undoubtedly in love with him was really being processed by his brain only in that moment, after almost a year. Feeling his heart jump, he remembered Rin’s happiness while greeting him at the airport. Were things really gone back to normal, after all?  
Curling up, he closed his eyes.

_How bothersome._


	8. Wavering

«Hey… lately you’re here more often.» Sousuke watched his best friend’s face just appeared on the screen of his PC. «Are you being lazy?»

«Uh? What are you talking about? I was just busy with some races and now I’m not anymore.»

Rin scratched his head. Hiding the fact that there was actually something wrong to his friend had been difficult and he perfectly knew Sousuke wasn’t going to be fooled, but since guessing what really happened was absolutely impossible, he wasn’t worrying about him asking questions.  
_Same goes for Makoto…_ , he thought, observing his brown haired friend talking with Haru in the next window. He wondered if Haru could have told Makoto everything, but, knowing him, he probably didn’t. _That_ was going to remain a secret between them. At least for now.

«Rin, you said you’re going to come here sooner, this year, right?»

«Yeah… I already bought the ticket. I’ll leave in exactly three months.»

«Perfect. We’ll have even more time to swim together,» Sousuke said, crossing his arms behind his head. «Anyway, why did only Haru went to Sydney, in the end? You could have called us too.»

«U-uhm…»

That question needed a good excuse. Why was Sousuke that perceptive?

«I told my coach I had a friend in Japan who was going to swim in the national team and he asked me to introduce him.»

«Really?»

He wasn’t convinced.

«Yeah, damn it! It isn’t that weird! He was curious! Haru, have you never told them about that race?»

Haruka interrupted what he was saying to Makoto, perplexed. «What?»

«The race! R-A-C-E!»

«Oi, I got it!» Haru protested. «No, I haven’t told them. I… forgot.»

«You forgot?! An Australian coach tells you your speed is national team material and you forget it?!»

Makoto laughed, while Haru was growing even more irritated.

«Then tell them yourself, if that’s so important!»

«You were the special guest! If I was in you place, I would have been way more enthusiastic!»

«Well, I’m sorry, ok? That wasn’t the first thing I had in… mind.»

Saying that last word, Haru looked away, as he used to do whenever he was feeling troubled.  
Rin got what he meant immediately and, feeling his face getting red, he snorted, turning as well, leaning his chin to a hand to hide his embarrassment. Luckily, none of their friends paid enough attention to that mutual reaction.

«I think that’s wonderful, Rin!» Makoto smiled, his eyes shining in admiration. «If your coach told you that, then you might be able to join the national team soon!»

Rin cheerfully nodded. «That would be great!»

Makoto suddenly looked at his watch. «AH! We’re going to be late for work!»

Sousuke did the same. «Damn! You’re right! Rin, it’s all your fault!»

«Hey, don’t blame me!» Rin replied, laughing. «Hurry or you’ll get fired!»

«Ahah! Our boss isn’t that evil!» Makoto waved at the monitor. «See you later, Haru, Rin!»

«Yeah, bye!»

And both him and Sousuke disappeared from the screen.

Haru sighed, getting up. «I guess I’ll go too.»

«Uh? Wait a sec, Haru!»

«What is it?»

«Uh… I wanted to ask you…» Rin glanced down, a bit insecure. «Things… aren’t gonna change, right?»

Hearing that question, Haru widened his eyes a bit and sat down again. «I… hope not.»

«O-ok, then…»

«At least as long as you don’t kiss me all of a sudden anymore,» Haru added, turning away as his cheeks got pink.

Rin raised his head, becoming even more red than him. «T-that was…!!» But he looked down again, muttering. «I’m sorry. Let’s say the first time I wasn’t exactly lucid and… at the airport I did it to check if… that was really the way I’m feeling.»

«W-what?!»

«Hey, I said sorry, ok?!»

Haru almost couldn’t believe his ears. To check?! As if things weren’t weird enough already!  
Glancing at him for a second, he turned back to the wall of his room.

«A-and?»

Rin stared at him, stupefied, then he possibly blushed even more. «And it… is.»

Haru didn’t reply. That wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear, but he wasn’t even expecting a different one. Facing that situation, now that he wasn’t concerned about Rin anymore, wasn’t as simple as it seemed to be when he was in Australia. Since Rin wasn’t feigning ignorance at all, he was supposed to do the same, but it wasn’t going to be easy.

He stood up again. «I’m leaving, now…»

«Ok…»

Both of them were already acting awkward. Forcing himself to break that atmosphere, Haru smiled, reassuringly.

«See you later, then.»

Rin did the same, nodding. «Yeah! Bye!»

After turning off the software, Haru sighed. He didn’t want Rin to worry about what happened, but he was the one starting to feel worried. He put a hand on his chest: his heart was still beating too fast. From the day he came back from Sydney, every little thing Rin did or said seemed much more… relevant. Was he just becoming obsessed? That was stupid. For now, he could only wait, hoping to get back to how things were before. If they ever could. Sighing again, he took his bag, leaving his apartment. Rin was his friend and they both knew each other very well. Worrying wasn’t worth it.  
Despite his determination to act normal, however, he couldn’t help but observe Rin carefully every day.  
On the surface, everything slowly went back to ordinary for real: Rin was exuberant and energetic again, they were spending more time talking together with all their friends, just like a year before, and almost nobody was thinking about his trip to Australia anymore. Nobody except him.  
He wasn’t able to understand if something actually changed in Rin’s attitude or if he simply never paid enough attention to how Rin always acted around him. Even the way he looked at him seemed different from before. Or had it always been like that? Was it like this only with him? He was still remembering what Sousuke said that time he waited for him after school, about Rin actually needing him to go on: he doubted Rin could openly say such a thing to Sousuke, even if he was his best friend, and that could only mean that even Sousuke noticed Rin’s attachment to him, though just as a matter of rivalry.  
Whenever they found themselves talking together by chat, sometimes he saw Rin stealing glances, more or less evidently, even when there were some of their friends online. No one else was thinking there was some kind of difference, but he could feel it. Was he wrong?  
The day Rin was supposed to come back to Japan was getting closer and closer and even without saying it out loud, the tension was perceivable. Rin was happier and happier, while he was more and more nervous. The more Rin was looking cheerful, the more he was feeling anxious. That was a loop he wasn’t able to stop.

«Will you be able to come fetching me at the airport?»

Rin’s smile was almost blinding him. He finally contacted him to confirm he was going to be in Tokyo in two days. Maybe the simple fact he was coming back was the only reason for his happiness, in that moment, but it was harsh to believe.

«Yeah, I’ll be there with everyone.»

Pointing out that he wasn’t going to go there alone was unnecessary and out of place, but he did it instinctively. He hoped Rin didn’t notice it.

«Perfect, then! I can’t wait to be home again! I miss Japanese food!»

_Yeah, sure, Japanese food…_

«Then we’ll cook you something.» He couldn’t avoid using _‘we’_ another time.

«That would be awesome!»

«See you in two days, then.»

«Yep!»

Haru stared at his smile. This time it was _definitely_ different, filled with a warm feeling, a kind of tenderness hard to describe. It was strangely weighing on his heart. A lot.

Since his friend wasn’t talking anymore, Rin looked perplexed. «What’s up?»

Haru flinched, immediately looking elsewhere. «Nothing…»

He could feel his face getting red and prayed that Rin couldn’t see it because of the darkness.

«Goodnight…» he mumbled, watching him again.

«Goodnight, Haru.»

Waving at him one last time, he logged out and went to bed, curling up in his blankets.  
He never thought that Rin’s comeback could ever become a frustrating event. 

*** 

The sound of another airplane landing made Haru turn towards the window again. It was starting to get dark, outside. Sighing, he sunk into the chair, lazily staring at the people around him. Waiting for someone at the airport was always boring, but this time he didn’t mind it. Rather, he was glad to wait. Questions like ‘ _What will I do when I see him?’_ and ‘ _How will he react?’_ were spinning in his head since a few days before. He couldn’t manage to understand why he was worrying that much. Maybe he was afraid of what his friends could think if they happened to discover everything. He was feeling a bit guilty, both towards Rin and towards them. He should have just told everything at least to Makoto since the very beginning. On top of that, he was still concerned about Rin’s feelings. Despite what happened in Australia, he never stopped worrying, not even for a day. Not knowing how Rin was feeling during the time they weren’t chatting together was upsetting, yet knowing he was going to meet him soon was distressing quite as much. Why? Why and how could Rin always mess with his feelings that much?

«Sleepy?»

Next to him, Makoto was gently smiling.

«Not really…» he mumbled, through his scarf, still vacantly staring at the people walking back and forth in front of him.

«Don’t worry, Rin will be here soon. Just wait a little more.»

 _That’s why I’m worrying_ , he thought, curling up in his coat even more.  
This time, even Nagisa, Rei, Momo and Ai were able to come and they were noisily chatting sat on the chairs behind him. Sousuke was next to Makoto , staring at the high ceiling with the hands in his pockets, sincerely bored and quite sleepy. He wished he could have his relaxed state of mind.

«Oi!! Guys!!»

Hearing Rin’s voice, everyone interrupted whatever they were doing, looking around. Their friend was waving at them, trying to get through the crowd coming from the last plane that landed.  
As soon as he managed to pass, Nagisa, Momo and Ai were already running towards him.

«Rin-chan, welcome home!!!»

«Rin-senpai, did you bring souvenirs?!»

«Momo-kun, you can’t ask for souvenirs every time.»

Rin laughed, messing with their hair.

«I always bring souvenirs! Momo, are you taller?» he asked, looking the boy up and down.

He cheerfully nodded. «Oh yeah!! By the next year I’ll be as tall as my big brother!!»

«Oi, you can’t be taller than your senpai!» Rin joked, grabbing Momo’s neck with an arm and walking towards his friends.

«Yo!» Sousuke smiled, handing out a fist, that Rin hit with his own.

Haru observed him greeting Makoto as well. He was doing his best trying not to hide behind his tall friend, but it wasn’t working very much. As soon as he saw Rin, his heart started beating like crazy and it wasn’t showing any sign of slowing down. Really, what was going on with him? That was just Rin! There wasn’t any reason to be anxious! He had to act normal, at any cost.

«Yo, Haru!»

Rin suddenly showed up from behind Makoto and, as he saw his apparently and innocently calm smile, his heart hammered a few more times against his chest. Praying his face didn’t change color in any way, he considered all the things he could say, but they were running so fast one over another that he could pick none. He wasn’t expecting such a reaction from himself. Why was he feeling that way, now?  
Managing to realize he was still staring at Rin, he felt his heart jump again.

«Y-yo…» he just mumbled, in the end, looking away and trying to hide his face into his scarf, because he was pretty sure it became quite red, this time.

Even Rin looked slightly puzzled and he blushed as well.

«What’s up with you two?»

They both turned towards Sousuke, that was staring at them just like all their friends.  
Watching their interrogative expressions, Haru stepped forward.

«We… had an argument yesterday evening and he’s feeling sorry.»

His face was still pretty red, but that pretext was absolutely believable, considering how much they used to quarrel. Rin glaring at him made it even more plausible. Makoto and Sousuke exchanged a perplexed look, but they seemed fine with that answer. He was feeling guilty for having to use such an excuse, but there were no other choices. Outing in that moment what really happened between them was not an option.  
He turned towards Rin again, but as soon as their eyes met, his friend looked away.

«Oi, I absolutely want to go home!» Rin declared, smiling anew.

That said, he headed towards the check in for the Tottori airport, followed by everyone.  
Haru stayed behind for some seconds, but then he run to him. That wasn’t supposed to be an awkward reunion. He couldn’t help his own behavior, but he wasn’t able to let things stay that way. Reaching Rin, he lightly grabbed his left sleeve, to draw his attention. His friend, who was listening to Sousuke and Makoto talking next to him, turned, a bit surprised. Haru avoided direct eye contact, but he kept walking by his side.

«Welcome back,» he whispered, hiding in his scarf again.

Seeing Rin nod with a big grin, he immediately felt relieved. That was enough, for now.  
After greeting Sousuke, Momo and Ai and taking their own luggage, all the Iwatobi group took another plane and then a train, finally arriving at their hometown, before dinner time.  
Stepping out of the station, Rin noisily yawned.

«I think I’ll go straight home, this time. The trip killed me and I’m starving.»

Makoto laughed. «See you tomorrow, then! Where will we meet?»

«I think tomorrow morning I’ll stay with my family,» Rin replied, looking a bit embarrassed right after. «Gou said she wanted to visit my old man’s grave, the three of us together. And I guess I’ll also undo my luggage. We could dine together somewhere in the evening.»

«I wanna go! I wanna go!» Nagisa was already jumping enthusiastically at the thought of food.

Even Rei raised his hand. «I’ll come too!»

Haru noticed Makoto looking at him, as to silently ask him what he wanted to do. He just snorted, looking away, and his friend gently smiled, turning towards Rin.

«I guess we all agree.»

«Perfect! I’ll call Sousuke and the others too, if they are able to come. See you tomorrow, then!»

«Yep! Goodnight, Rin!»

«Night, Rin-chan!!»

Haru looked at the smile Rin directed towards him before walking away. He got away with just a simple dinner, for now. He didn’t expect Rin to act as cautiously as him: maybe he got worried because of the way he acted at the airport.  
The morning after, he spent the whole time cleaning his house and sorting his wardrobe. Makoto invited him for lunch and they ended up spending the rest of the afternoon chatting and playing with Ran and Ren. That normal and a bit nostalgic kind of life helped him relax again. Without a lively day like that, he’d have spent his time thinking about useless things.  
That evening, they met near a local restaurant. Rin said he absolutely wanted to eat ramen.

«I miss real Japanese food! I’ll eat something different everyday till the day I’ll go back to Sydney!» he declared, before digging in his bowl of soup.

Nagisa was already enjoying his meal so contently and energetically that Rei, who was sitting in front of him, was looking a bit disgusted.

Sousuke, between  Rei and Rin, smiled to his red-headed friend. «Is Australian cuisine that bad?»

«It’s not that bad. Lori cooks very well. It’s nothing like this, anyway.»

«Then tomorrow you could come to my place,» Makoto said, smiling. «I think my mom wants to buy sushi and she said I can invite some friends.»

«I want to come too, Mako-chan!!» Nagisa declared, his mouth full of soba.

The green eyed boy laughed. «Ok, ok! Then the day after we’ll meet at Haru’s place!»

«Oi, Makoto…» Haru protested, glaring at him.

Rin laughed. «As long as there isn’t mackerel!»

Haru gave him a bad look and then he sighed, concentrating on his bowl of ramen again. They were so noisy…

«Hey, Haru, when will we go swimming?»

He raised his head another time, wondering why he ended up sitting right in front of Rin.

«I don’t know. Tomorrow morning?»

«Got it. Then I’ll go for a jog and I’ll fetch you too.»

Haru speechlessly stared at him. He was always deciding things without asking for permission.  
Nagisa was already saying he wanted to come too: he was really feeling nostalgic and he was always really agitated whenever he and Makoto were coming back from Tokyo. If it wasn’t for his weird mood, he’d have smiled of his blonde friend’s happiness as well.  
At some point, he stood up, saying «Toilet…», before walking away. Even if he was with all his friends, he wasn’t able to chill down. Entering the restroom, he leaned to the sink in front of the mirror, sighing. At least there was silence.  
He barely managed to think that, that the door opened again.

«Oi…»

It was Rin.

«Are you ok, Haru?»

He was looking vaguely worried.

Haru sighed again. «Yeah, why do you ask?»

«You’re acting kind of weird…»

«I’m just tired. I cleaned up my house for the whole morning.»

«If you say so…»

He wasn’t convinced. And how to blame him?

«Don’t worry. I really am just tired.»

Rin observed him while he was washing his hands. Why was there something off, now?

«Are you sure… it hasn’t anything to do with that?»

Hearing that question, Haru stopped, with his hands under the cold water. That wasn’t something he wanted to talk about, especially not while being kind of trapped in a room with Rin.

«I told you not to worry, Rin,» he replied, turning to take a paper towel. «We’ve already talked about this, don’t we?»

He wondered if he was trying to convince Rin or himself. Anyway, his friend seemed to be less wary.

«I guess so…»

«Then let’s g- Oi…!»

Seeing Rin getting closer, he felt a sort of chill down his spine, but his friend just put his chin on his left shoulder, not even hugging him, keeping his hands in his jeans pockets.

«W-what are you doing?»

«Nothing. I just want to stay here for a bit.»

Haru stared at the door in front of him. Rin seemed to be totally relaxed, but he was not. His heart was beating faster again and he really hoped Rin couldn’t notice it. Thinking about how suddenly he kissed him at the airport, he suspected he was going to do something like that again, but since it wasn’t the case, he just let him stay where he was.

«You are…» He couldn’t find a proper definition, so he gave up with a sigh. «Do you intend to stay there for long?»

«I’m just tired,» Rin replied.

And it seemed he was mimicking the lie he said to him a few moments before. He really was a pain.  
Grabbing his shoulders, Haru tried to push him away.

«Come on, let’s go back.»

Rin sighed, letting him go. «Ok…»

***

«Aaaah… I ate too much…» Makoto sighed, with a satisfied smile, while going out from the restaurant with everyone.

«What do we do now?» Sousuke asked, turning towards Rin, who thought for a second.

«Let’s just have a walk around here. It’s still too early to go home.»

And so they calmly strolled in the neighborhood. There was a full moon up in the sky and its light was almost more bright than the artificial ones.

«It sure is cold today!» Rei said, rattling a bit.

Makoto smiled. «Well, it’s almost Christmas and there are no clouds. Even if it’s cold I really love this weather!»

«I agree!» Rin replied. «Gosh, I want to see if something changed here.»

«Nothing changed,» Haru bluntly replied, behind him.

Rin turned, giving him an annoyed look. «Do you always have to be this grouchy?»

«Sorry, I forgot you like romantic stuff.»

«Oi, do you want to pick a fight?!»

Haru snorted and looked away. Acting like that, it was easier to maintain a normal mood.  
Makoto was already trying to calm Rin down with a smile and Sousuke was laughing.

«Anyway it’s true that almost nothing changed!» Nagisa said, cheerfully smiling. «And I like it better this way, so that when you, Haru-chan and Mako-chan come back here, you’ll find everything where and how it used to be!»

Rin messed with his hair. «I guess you’re right! Thanks, Nagisa!»

«He-he!!»

«Then are you going to swim, tomorrow?» Sousuke asked, turning towards his friend. «If so, I’ll come too.»

«Yeah, we are,» Rin replied, slowing down to walk by Haru’s side. «I want to see what changed during these two or three months. I’m not going to lose, Haru.»

«I’m not either,» Haru replied, avoiding looking at him. Was he sticking to him on purpose? Why was he suddenly finding that so annoying?

Rin gave him a determined smile. «That’s what I want to hear! Let’s show to Sasabe-coach what we’re capable of!»

Saying that, he raised an arm to put it on Haru’s shoulder, but noticing it, Haru immediately raised a hand, preventing him from doing so. Suddenly realizing what he just did, he heard Rin’s steps stop behind him. He never pushed him away before. And he didn’t mean to do it now. He did it without thinking. What was going on?  
Stopping as well, he stood there for a few seconds, wondering if he was supposed to turn towards Rin or ignore him, but before he could decide, Rin passed him by, his hands in his pockets. Watching him walk away without a word, Haru felt his heart tighten. What was he doing?!  
Makoto’s voice called him back to reality and he run towards him, in silence.

«Are you ok, Haru?»

Even Makoto was asking that.

«I am. I’m just sleepy.»

His friend smiled. «Resist a bit more. Tomorrow you’ll be able to swim and relax.»

«Yeah…»

Haru smiled back to him. He was right. He had to set things right again. He couldn’t keep behaving like that with Rin. A good race was the perfect chance to delete what happened.  
Or so he thought.  
The following day, the six of them plus Momo and Ai met at the Iwatobi Swim Club. Haru was pretty thankful for Makoto arriving at his place before Rin, so that he avoided finding himself alone with Rin again, and the three of them could leave together. He was the first one to finish changing and he rushed to the pool without even waiting for his friends.

«Oi, Haru!! The pool isn’t running away, you know?!» Rin shouted to him, from the locker room, jumping on one leg while trying to get rid of his trousers as fast as possible.

«Let him go, Rin,» Makoto said, laughing. «He probably misses this place.»

Rin wasn’t looking convinced and, after all, neither was Makoto.  
Haru heard what they said, while walking away. He knew those two were totally impossible to fool. Anyway, all he wanted to do was relaxing in the water for the time being. Almost unwillingly, he started to warm up. After all, he was there to train.  
There was no one, in there. As usual, Sasabe let them in during closure. He was going to come too, later.  
Rin was the first one to join him. Looked like he rushed on purpose.

«Oi, are you that eager to swim?»

«I’m always eager to swim,» was Haru’s immediate response.

«I guess so…»

Rin sighed with resignation, starting his warm-ups as well.

«Anyway, you’re acting weird, you know?»

«I’m not acting weird.»

«You are, dammit!»

This time, Haru didn’t reply.

Rin sighed another time. «If there’s something wrong, just tell me. Or are you going to ignore what you told me in Australia?»

Haru kept staying silent. Unlike him, Rin was being direct, he wasn’t hiding what he was thinking, he wasn’t being scared. Just as he told him that day. Instead, he was the incoherent one. He wanted to act normal, but he just couldn’t. And he didn’t know why.

«There’s nothing wrong,» he just replied, before diving in the water.

He was confused. He absolutely didn’t want things to change between them. He literally fought for their friendship, years before. Losing Rin was unconceivable. But he wasn’t able to fight for it, this time, because friendship alone wasn’t what Rin needed. That was why he couldn’t stay by his side like before. Was Rin trying to feel even worse, by sticking to him as if nothing happened? He wasn’t able to deal with how Rin was feeling. He never even gave him a proper response. Anyone else would have just turned Rin down from the very beginning, probably, but he just couldn't. He never did it. He was awfully scared of hurting him. And that, ironically, was exactly what he was doing now.  
Suddenly seeing Rin’s figure dive next to him through the bubbles as soon as he did another turn, he forced himself to delete all those thoughts from his head, at least for that moment. Rin wasn’t going to forgive him, if he happened to lose because he wasn’t focusing on a race.

«Haru, you lost!»

While saying that, Rin was looking disappointed, rather than happy.

«How am I supposed to catch you up, if you’re slower than me?»

«That makes so no sense, that it almost makes sense,» was Sousuke’s comment, from the lane next to Rin’s.

In the one even further, Makoto was laughing.  
Haru sighed. And that first try was gone.

«How are you supposed to win, if you complain when you do?»

That said, he climbed out of the pool, putting his goggles on again.

«Another one.»

Hearing that, Rin seemed to cheer up.  
By the third race, Haru had completely cleared his mind. Rin’s determination and will to compete with him were always extremely contagious.

«That’s what I want to see!» the red-head shouted, punching the water after uselessly trying to reach his friend. «I swear I’ll hit you, if you don’t swim as you just did another time!»

«I don’t want _you_  to tell me something like that,» Haru commented, a bit embarrassed.

In a sense, he always hated Rin’s capability to fire him up, but it was one of the main reasons why he was still swimming competitively. They were on the same wavelength even from that point of view, in the end.

«Hey! You guys get faster every time I see you!»

Hearing Sasabe’s voice, everyone turned towards the man who just entered the room with a big smile on his face.

«If you keep going this fast or more, the national team is going to find you soon!»

«That’s the plan!» Rin replied, grinning, while climbing out of the pool.

«How are you doing, Rin? Everything good, in Australia?»

«You can bet on it, coach!»

«Oh! I’m glad to hear that! Then come on! We’ve got work to do! And you too, guys! Today I’m gonna make you sweat blood!» Sasabe added, clapping his hands, while everyone else complained.

He was having fun coaching them whenever he could. Even Sousuke and Makoto sometimes asked him for advice about their job.  
Haru stopped, watching them talk with Sasabe. He was an irreplaceable teacher, after all.  
Rin, reached the poolside as well, noticing the light smile on his face.

«Some things never change, uh?» he said, getting rid of his goggles and cap.

«Yeah…»

«Others do, though.»

Haru diverted his gaze from Sasabe to Rin, widening his eyes a bit, and observed his friend climbing out of the pool. Rin glanced down to him. His lips were curved into a vaguely sad smile, that hit Haru’s heart like a blade, so much that he couldn’t stare back at him. No one noticed his evasive behavior, but to Rin it was pretty obvious.  
After changing, he followed Makoto outside. He was thinking he managed to avoid more discussions, when he felt a hand grabbing his arm.

«Haru, do you have a moment?»

Rin’s expression, behind him, was calm and nonchalant, but he wasn’t sure it was reflecting what he was actually thinking.  
Makoto and Sousuke turned towards their friend with an interrogative look and Rin, noticing it, simply smiled.

«I forgot to ask something to Sasabe-coach. Haru come with me.»

«Oi, wai-»

Without waiting for his answer, Rin dragged him away. Haru watched his hand: his firm grip on his wrist made him understand that wasn’t going to be a pacific chat.

«What’s your problem?!»

Once back in the locker room, Rin let him go so abruptly that he almost lost his balance. He was upset and he was right to be.

«I’m sorry,» was the only thing he managed to say, while not even looking at him in the eyes.

He wasn’t prepared to whatever Rin was going to throw at him, but in any case he was really deserving it.  
With his great surprise, instead, Rin sighed, sitting down.

«If I’m forcing something on you, just tell me.»

Haru raised his head, even more astonished.

«You are the one who told me not to be scared,» Rin continued. «And I’m not. I’m not going to deny what I… feel. Just… tell me if you feel under pressure. If this is the case… well…» He scratched his head, looking away. «Sorry.»

Why was Rin the one saying sorry? Story was repeating itself, just like the first time they went to Australia and Rin said sorry for something he didn’t cause. He was willing to say something, he wanted to tell him he was wrong, but his mouth wasn’t moving and his brain was going around in circles. All he could do was sit as well, on the bench in front of Rin, staring at the floor.

«You know…» Rin murmured, after some seconds of silence. «During the last few months, I looked for a job in Sydney… and I think I found it.»

Haru sensed his heart flunk. He immediately spotted where that was going to end.  
Rin was looking at the pavement as well and didn’t notice his reaction.

«While I wait for something more concrete about swimming, I think that earning something on my own would be a nice way to repay both my family and Lori and Russell.»

Haru raised his head and so did Rin, who faintly smiled.

«If this goes well, I think I won’t be able to come here or stay with you guys as much as now.»

Waiting for a response without receiving it, the redhead stood up.

«I’ll tell the others tomorrow. For now, I just wanted to tell you.»

Saying that, he messed with Haru’s hair, leaving then his hand there.  
Haru gave up talking. He didn’t know what to say anymore. He expected Rin to be angry and instead he smiled. He expected Rin to stick to him even more and instead he was going away. Harsh words and maybe a punch would have been far better than that. And far less painful. It was all wrong.

«Haru…?»

Hearing his name, he forced himself to look at his friend. He wasn’t able to imagine the expression on his own face, but Rin apparently didn’t mind and just smiled again, tenderly, holding out to him the hand he leaned to his head till that moment.

«Say something, or else I’m going to worry for real.»

Haru just intently stared at his reddish eyes, hoping that was enough to pass his feelings to him, because words weren’t going to make it. He took his hand, standing up. When he noticed that Rin was reluctant about letting him go, he simply stayed still, looking at their hands bonded together. Rin tightened his grip a bit. His hand was warm. Holding it a bit more tightly as well, Haru started to feel calmer. A weird mixture of melancholy and peace was somewhat freeing him from his anxiousness. Why was it always like that, with Rin? Why did he have such a control over his feelings? What kind of power was that? He was as scared as he was drawn to that fascinating and mysterious sensation.  
He couldn’t know how long they stayed like that. At some point, Sasabe just walked in, interrupting that weird atmosphere.

«Oi, are you still here? And why are you shaking hands?»

Rin suddenly let Haru go, blushing.

«Ah… he… he… I made him promise we’ll get into the national team within the next Christmas!!» he replied, laughing a bit hysterically.

Their coach laughed. «I’m sure you’ll do it!! Now go out of here! I have to close this place, since tomorrow it’s Christmas!»

Greeting the man who was cheerfully chasing them out, the two boys headed towards the exit.

«Gosh… he scared me,» Rin sighed, relieved. Then he turned towards Haru. «We’re at your place, tomorrow evening, right?»

Haru nodded, without looking away from the floor under his feet.

Rin giggled, putting an arm on his shoulders. «I guess we’ll eat mackerel.»

Haru tried to give him the cold shoulder, but Rin could tell he was just feeling sorry and a bit embarrassed.

«Be sure to talk, with Makoto, or he’s going to get angry at me,» he joked.

Haru felt his face becoming red.

«Not really…» he mumbled, making Rin laugh again.

His friend was matured even more. He always admired the courage he had about bracing and facing his own future. That was something he still wasn’t able to do. He was feeling relieved, now, thanks to Rin, but after the news Rin gave him, he also had one more thing to think about. In the end, everything became even more confused.

***

The day after, just like during the last Christmas, everyone arrived earlier than the fixed time to help their host with cooking and preparations. This time, Haru wasn’t minding Rin helping him with the food. His friend was back to his cheerfulness, quite ignoring the fact he wasn’t keen to talk. Now he was angrily communicating with Sousuke and Nagisa, shouting from the kitchen to the dining room. He was wondering how his friends were going to take the news about him getting a job and he didn’t have to wait much to know it.

«Yeah, a waiter,» Rin said, munching, answering to Nagisa’s curiosity. «I found a position in a little restaurant not far from my college.»

«That’s awesome, Rin!» Makoto said, broadly smiling.

Sousuke laughed. «I definitely want to see you work as a waiter!»

Rin hit him with an elbow. «Shut up, you!»

«Why not?» Makoto added. «We’ll come see you all together, right, Haru?»

That said, he turned towards his friend beside him, who looked away, going on eating his rice.

«Not even by chance,» he grumbled.

Makoto stared at him, perplexed, and he watched first Rin, who was arguing with Nagisa, and then Sousuke, who clearly noticed Haru’s reaction as well and just shrugged.  
After dinner, Haru stood up starting to clear the table. Bringing some dishes back to the kitchen, he thanked Makoto who did the same behind him.

«Say, Haru…»

He turned towards his friend, waiting for what he wanted to say. He looked puzzled.

«Are you feeling ok?»

«Yeah, why do you ask?»

«I don’t know. You’re not very talkative, lately,» Makoto replied. «Well… even less than usual.»

Haru tried to look offended. «Not really. I’m just tired.»

He was using that excuse a bit too often, lately.

«Are you sure? If I can help with something…»

«There really is nothing wrong, Makoto,» Haru smiled, trying to reassure him. «Thanks, anyway.»

«Ok, then,» Makoto smiled back. «Let’s go. Rin said he brought gifts for everyone!»

In fact, getting souvenirs from Australia during Christmas holidays was probably about to become a tradition. Haru observed Rin distributing colorful packages to everyone: Momo, who apparently decided he had to collect boomerangs, received another one, Ai got a diary, Nagisa some sweets, Rei a book in English, Gou a colorful dress and Makoto, Sousuke and he were given a T-shirt. His had a nice print with two dolphins underwater on it.

«I found it in a shop near an aquarium,» Rin said, with a smile, noticing his surprise.

«Thanks…» he mumbled, avoiding his gaze and mentally thanking an irritated Sousuke for asking Rin the reason for the idiotically humorous T-shirt he got.

Standing up, he said «Toilet…» as soon as Makoto interrogatively looked at him. While washing his hands, he looked at his face in the mirror. Now saying he was tired wasn’t a lie anymore. Dealing with Rin and hiding things from Makoto was exhausting.  
Before going back, he took his new shirt to his room, putting it on his bed. Rin always complained about all his T-shirts about water, but he gave him such a gift anyway. He was such an idiot…  
Sighing, he turned off the light. Then, going back, he saw Rin coming towards him. They both stopped, staring at each other for a second.

He looked away. «Are you going to follow me every time I go the toilet?»

Rin looked pissed, even though he blushed a bit.

«Oi! Can’t I need to go to the restroom as well, once in a while?!» But he immediately calmed down, scratching his head. «Are you okay, anyway? I saw Makoto talking to you in the kitchen, earlier. He looked troubled.»

«It was nothing.»

Rin stared at him. Haru was feigning ignorance again. That was getting really annoying. Sighing, he walked towards him. He really was a pain.

«Oi…»

Noticing Rin’s presence next to him, Haru turned, but as soon as he did, he saw Rin getting way too close to him and he instinctively backed off till hitting the wall. Then, seeing no way out, he grabbed his friend’s shoulders, shutting his eyes and keeping him at distance. He stayed like that till the moment he realized Rin intended to do absolutely nothing. Opening his eyes while realizing what he did, he saw his sad and angry look.

«Don’t ever tell me you aren’t scared again, Haru.»

And he walked away, leaving him completely helpless and paralyzed by guilt against the wall.  
Despite that, the evening went on smoothly, in a merry and noisy atmosphere, or so Rin made everyone think. He managed to act normal as well, but he and Rin never talked for the rest of the time.  
When they decided it was time to go to bed, he greeted all of his friends with a smile, next to the door. After saying goodbye to Sousuke, he felt a presence behind him. For a second, he hoped it could be Rin, but, turning, he saw Makoto, who stopped by his side, happily waving at Rin, that did the same with him before running after Sousuke. He acted as if he didn’t even exist.

«Goodnight, Haru. Merry Christmas again.»

Makoto smiled and lightly patted his shoulder, before going out as well. It was almost as if he said what Rin didn’t.  
Lowering his hand, Haru stared at the closed door. A closed door. That was what he put between him and Rin during those months. And he wasn’t able to find the key.

***

Rin sighed, putting his hands in his coat’s pockets. He was dead tired and not only physically speaking.  
Sousuke was walking next to him. Since it was pretty late, he offered him to stay at his place for the night. Maybe a relaxed chat with his best friend was going to make him feel better.

«Did something happen with Haru?»

That question out of the blue made him stop. No, that wasn’t going to be a relaxing night. Definitely not.  
Trying to avoid more questions like that, he kept walking, uneasily smiling.

«Absolutely nothing!»

«Are you sure?»

Sousuke wasn’t even looking at him, but he could immediately understand he had been suspecting something for a long time with just one glance, though he never asked him anything before.

«I’m sure! Why do you even ask?»

«Because to me it looks like you fought or something.»

«Not at-!»

«And it isn’t something recent.»

«W-what do you mean?»

This time Sousuke was the one to stop, finally looking at him with a vaguely resigned and slightly bored look.

«If you want  me to ask, then I’ll ask: has this something to do with his sudden trip to Australia?»

Rin widened his eyes. His friend was as dangerous as Makoto and knew him far too well. He underestimated him, after all. Feeling his face getting red, he hoped there was enough darkness to hide that.

«I said it’s nothing important.»

«At least now _it is_ something.»

Rin flinched. He chose the wrong words.

«Oi, why do you even care?! You can’t even stand Haru!» he shouted, blushing even more.

Sousuke remained perfectly calm, starting to walk again. «That’s undoubtedly true, but by the way, he was acting weird as well. Even Makoto noticed it. I asked him, but he knew nothing.»

Starting to curse the day those two became friends, Rin followed him.

«If it was something you two had to worry about, we would have told you,» he grumbled.

They both stayed silent for a while.

«If I win at rock-paper-scissors, you’ll tell me.»

«Oi, Sousuke!!»

Rin was dumbfounded. He was definitely having fun.

«What? Are you scared of losing?» his friend asked, with a malicious grin.

Rin grinned his teeth. He wasn’t going to be fooled. He wasn’t going to be fooled. He totally wasn’t going to be fooled!!

«You lose every time, anyway!!!!» he shouted, in the end, surrendering to his pride. «Jan-ken…»

But a second after, he realized his enormous mistake, while staring, completely bewildered, at his closed fist and at Sousuke’s open hand.

«Looks like I won,» his friend said, with an innocent smile.

Rin shouted his desperation while scrambling his own hair. «NO! I won’t tell you anything! Just… drop it!!»

And he rushed towards home, stomping, while Sousuke gave up with a sigh.  
A few meters before arriving, Rin looked towards his friend. It was rare for him to openly worry. Was it right to keep everything a secret? But it was for the better. And even Haru told nothing to Makoto. It was fair and square.  
Once in front of his house, he took the key to open the door, but he stopped his hand in midair.

«I kissed him.»

That was probably a poor explanation, but the meaning behind it was pretty clear even without saying it straight out.  
Sousuke stared at him for a moment. He wasn’t sure what he heard was right.

«What?»

Rin felt his face terribly burning up.

«I said I kissed him!» he repeated, trying to be barely audible while willing to shout. The result was a weird whisper.

His friend watched him without moving nor talking for what it seemed an eternity.

«What?» he repeated, in the end.

Rin lost all his calm and kicked him. «Are you making fun of me?!!»

«Wait, are you telling the truth?» Sousuke replied, finally looking sincerely astonished.

«Of course I am!! Do you think I’d choose such a pathetic excuse?!!»

«Are you saying… you have feelings for-»

«Don’t say it out loud, dammit!»

Rin squatted in front of his doorstep with a long sigh. Hearing that with his own ears made him feel like burying himself underground from embarrassment. Still no response from Sousuke and that wasn’t making him feel better. He opened his mouth to say something, but he got interrupted.

«Well… that explains a lot…»

Rin looked up, blinking twice. «What?»

Sousuke just shrugged. «Now your weird behavior during the past year completely makes sense. I’m not even feeling too surprised.»

«What?! What should this mean?!!»

«Well, you’ve always been obsessed with him, after all.»

Rin started to doubt his face could get redder than that. «That has nothing to do with this!!»

«You think so? Maybe you just never noticed.»

«That’s bullshit! You don’t even know anything!»

«And I don’t want to know. You’re braver than I thought, anyway. My compliments.»

«Just go to bed, you idiot!»

Opening the door, Rin kicked his friend another time. Despite the embarrassment, he felt extremely grateful towards Sousuke. He needed him to know the truth, just in case he couldn’t stand Haru’s attitude anymore. He didn’t expect someone to accept such a news so calmly, not even his best friend. The fact he did made him feel terribly better. Sousuke asked for nothing more than that. Something else to be grateful for.


	9. Winter rain (Part 1)

«What are you doing here?»

«Jogging?»

Makoto stared at Rin, who just rang his bell, early in the morning. Rubbing his eyes, he yawned.

«Ok, I’ll come with you. I’m getting dressed. You could call Haru, while you wait.»

«Nah… I’ll wait for you.»

Makoto looked even more confused, but he let him pass with a smile.

«Come in, at least. It’s freezing, outside!»

«Ok… I’m coming in, then.»

Rin stepped inside his friend’s house, while watching him go upstairs. He went out for a jog after fetching Sousuke to the station, but he wasn’t feeling like running by himself. And calling Haru was out of question. At least for now. He knew that something was wrong, that Haru couldn’t simply accept the way he felt towards him as easily as he told him when he came to Sydney. He saw his attitude changing, during the last months. He was expecting as much, deep inside, but he hoped to be wrong. Haru always assured him saying that everything was just fine, and even if he never believed him, he let him be. Being angry now was pointless, but he couldn’t help it. He did his best to make him feel at ease despite everything. Seeing his efforts being nullified by Haru’s scared expression was the last drop.  
He stared at the warmly colored walls around him. He went at Makoto’s place on a whim, because he noticed he was nearby. He was suddenly feeling like having a chat with him. His friend’s gentle nature was a cure-all in most of the cases. Even Makoto’s home always gave off a sweet family-like feeling. Pretty much the opposite of Haru’s one. That idiot was probably sleeping  in that old, empty house all alone. He was feeling angry again, now. While accompanying Sousuke, that morning, he told him, generally speaking, about Haru’s circumstances before and after the trip to Australia. Sousuke quietly listened to everything he had to say, simply declaring that both him and Haru were idiots, in the end. He wasn’t wrong, after all.

«Oi, Rin, I’m ready! We can go.»

«Yeah!»

They went outside again. It was sunny, but the temperature was pretty low.

Makoto rattled. «Let’s run. I need to warm up!»

«Ahah! That’s why I was running in the first place!»

«But first let’s go wake Haru up!»

«What?!»

Makoto was already climbing the stairs, jogging at the same time. Rin incredulously stared at him. That was exactly what he didn’t want to do. But telling it to Makoto would have led to unpleasant questions and consequences, and so he followed him with a desperate sigh. He was running a bit out of luck, probably.  
After ringing the bell a few times, Makoto just went it.

«I bet he’s still asleep. Or in the bathtub.»

«Or both,» Rin sarcastically commented, making his friend laugh.

They looked in the bedroom, but Haru wasn’t there. He wasn’t even in the bathroom and that was even stranger. They searched all the house, but he was nowhere to be found.

«Where on earth is he, this early in the morning?» Makoto was sincerely confused.

Rin shrugged. «Maybe he’s already jogging somewhere…»

«Might be…»

«Let’s look around, then.»

«Ok!»

And they run out again, in the freezing weather.  
Rin watched Makoto’s back in front of him. He tried to make him rest assured by sharing his doubts, but in reality he was quite sure about what happened. The evening before he and Haru clashed and now Haru was gone. That wasn’t a coincidence at all. With a sigh, he caught up with Makoto, sincerely wondering where their friend ended up to be.

***

Haru sneezed. Something was telling him that was Makoto looking for him. He was going to be hard to find.  
Looking back at the airport he was leaving behind him, he sighed. What was he even doing in Tokyo? Waking up, that morning, he just decided he wasn’t feeling like staying at home and that was also including he didn’t want to see any of his friends. His mood definitely dropped after the previous night. Rin finally checkmated him. It was predictable, but he hoped it could take a bit longer. He was conscious of how much he had been selfish during the last period. Rin was definitely suffering because of that. And now, instead of saying sorry, he was there, alone, in Tokyo, taking a stroll. He really was shameful.  
Lost in his thoughts, he stopped on the stairs leading out of the metro station and someone suddenly bumped into him.

«Ah… I’m sor-»

As soon as he turned back to see who talked, Haru widened his eyes: Sousuke was staring at him, just as surprised.

«What… are you doing here?» his tall friend asked.

Haru couldn’t say a word. That wasn’t his lucky day. Not at all.

«Seriously, call it a coincidence…» Sousuke sighed, leaning to the seatback of his chair in a coffee shop. «I can’t believe I’m here having breakfast with _you_ out of all people.»

Haru ignored those vaguely mocking words. After all, he was thinking the same thing.  
Sousuke silently watched him drink his coffee while intently staring at the table. In the end, he and Haru were on the same flight and train. It was a good thing they didn’t meet at the Iwatobi station: dealing both with him and Rin at the same time would have been terrible. He perfectly knew he was going to be the first victim of a romantic like Rin, whenever his friend were to fall in love with someone and had to complain or boast about it, but events took a completely unpredictable turn. Of all people, the one Rin fell for was not even a girl, and as if that wasn’t enough, that person was… that dumbass in front of him. He couldn’t believe it.  
Anyway, Haru was looking so pathetic, thinking in the middle of the street like that, that he just couldn’t leave him there in that state, but now he was kind of regretting it.

«So?» he sighed.

«So what?» Haru grumbled, without raising his head.

«Rin told me everything.»

Hearing those words, Haru almost chocked on his coffee.

«What… do you mean?» he said, hoping Sousuke wasn’t meaning what he thought.

«Don’t play dumb, now,» was the reply. «You know what I’m talking about.»

Haru put down his cup, staring at the red tablecloth. What on earth brought Rin to tell the truth to his friend? But he perfectly knew the answer.

«Don’t pry into something you’re not involved in.»

«Since I know everything, now I’m involved enough, I think.»

Haru grinned his teeth. There was no way out.

«What am I supposed to tell you?»

Sousuke leaned to the table with his arms. «To me? Absolutely nothing. Rin is the one you should be talking with.»

«We’ve already talked.»

«But now you’re giving him the silent treatment.»

«Shut up.»

«That’s why I can’t stand you! When will you stop running away whenever things get difficult?!»

He saw Haru slightly flinch. Bull’s-eye? Seeing no more evident reactions, Sousuke sighed again.

«Listen… I’m not in your shoes and I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but seeing Rin being so desperate over someone like you really pisses me off. He doesn’t deserve it.»

Haru silently listened to those harsh and true words. Again, he was right. Why was he always right?

«What should I do, then?» he muttered, trying to stay calm. «Letting him stay closer to me would only make him suffer more.»

«Are you sure about that? To me, you’re just selfishly running away, without even caring about how he feels.»

Haru clenched his fists. «I do care!» he replied, raising his voice. «That’s why I-»

«Then show him you do, dammit!»

His friend was severely staring at him. His dark green eyes were scolding him another time, just like that day before nationals.

«Gosh, why am I even saying all this to you?» Sousuke complained, then, sinking in his chair with a sigh, staring at the ceiling over their heads. «At least, do you know how you feel about this? I mean… Rin is a guy.»

«I know that,» Haru muttered, glad about Sousuke not looking at him. Lately he was finding that particular topic unexpectedly irritating for some reason.

Incapable of staying there even a second more, he suddenly stood up. «I’m going home.»

«What?»

Without caring about Sousuke’s confused face, he walked away.

«Oi, wait! You’re not getting away with this! At least pay what you-»

But Haru was already exiting the place.  
Sousuke snorted, leaving some money on the table and rushing after him.

«I’m seriously going to kill you, one day or another.»

***

Rin sighed, while Makoto, next to him, was catching his breath.

«I have no clue about where he could be and I’m beginning not to care anymore.»

«Just… let him be. He’ll come home, eventually,» Makoto replied, panting.

They searched all the places Haru used to visit in that town for at least two hours, uselessly. In the end, they just surrendered. Now they were in front of their friend’s house again, but he wasn’t back yet.

«Let’s just go home, Makoto. We’ll phone him later. As usual, that idiot forgot his mobile.»

«Ahah! I guess so…»

They slowly climbed down the stairs leading to Makoto’s house.

«I hope he’s okay…» the green-eyed boy said, a bit worried. «Lately, it looks like he has something on his mind, but he won’t tell me what it is.» Then he turned towards Rin. «Do you know anything?»

Rin stared at his own feet. As Sousuke told him, even Makoto was suspecting something, but he wasn’t feeling like telling the truth to him as well. Not now.

He shook his head. «Not at all.»

«He’s hopeless. Always keeping everything inside him…»

«Oi… You’re not that different, you know?»

Makoto laughed, stopping in front of his house. «You have a point!»

«But you’re still better than him!» Rin added, smiling as well.

Makoto just smiled back. «Do you want to stop by for lunch?»

«Can I?» Rin blinked, a bit surprised.

«Ahah! Of course!»

«It’s been ages, since the last time I had lunch at your place!»

«Well, that’s why I’m inviting you.»

«Then I’ll gladly accept, Makoto!»

The plan was also going on checking if Haru came back, but even after two more hours, there was still no trace of their friend.

«Don’t worry, Makoto. I’m sure he had a good reason to stay away for so long,» Rin smiled, to a by now very concerned Makoto, after opening the door. «Now I think I’ll go home. If you find him, let me know.»

«Ok, same goes for you!»

«Sure!»

«Ah! Rin!»

Turning once more, Rin saw his friend gently smiling.

«If there’s anything wrong, you can come any time. I’m always here to help.»

For a moment, he just stared at him, surprised. Makoto knew. He knew that something wasn’t right between him and Haru, without any doubt. His gentleness really moved him. He wasn’t deserving silence. However, he couldn’t bring himself to talk to him, even if he initially paid a visit also to ask about Haru. Smiling gratefully, but with guilt piercing his heart, he waved at him once more, starting to run again. He left without giving him explanations, even if Makoto was so worried. It was a bit heartless. And it wasn’t like he wasn’t worried as well. He was, but because of other reasons. Going away was Haru’s specialty. Whenever something was wrong, he tried to disappear. The last time it happened, he was the one who helped him find his way again, but this time it was different. He was the cause of Haru’s troubles. He had no right to run after him. But he wasn’t completely sure about that. Haru was acting incoherently and that was really pissing him off, but it was also true that his friend had always been… allergic to feelings. From that point of view, he could understand his behavior a little more. Dealing with people, even with friends, sometimes, had always been difficult for Haru. And now… here he was, confessing his love to him like an idiot despite knowing that. Maybe he needed some time apart from him. Maybe they both needed some time apart from each other. He tried not to make Haru feel under pressure, but apparently that wasn’t enough. Going back to square one was the only possible solution. Was it even possible, now? Yeah, he was going to work in Australia, thus forced to stay away from him even more, but, judging from their near past, he wasn’t sure that could be sufficient.  
Once in front of his house, he took the keys to open the door. As soon as he entered, Gou appeared in front of him with a bright smile.

«Ah! It’s you, onii-chan! Guess who’ve come to visit you!»

Confused by his sister’s happiness, Rin followed her to the kitchen.

«Who are you talking ab-»

But he immediately opened his eyes wide, because who was sitting at his table was the most unusual pairing he could ever think of.

«Yo, Rin! Look at what I found on my way home.»

Sousuke was lazily looking at him while pointing towards Haru, who was persistently looking at the floor with a really upset expression.

«W-what are you two doing here?» Rin mumbled, more and more dumbfounded.

Sousuke shrugged. «I told you: I found him at the station in Tokyo and I brought him back here. We were on the same flight, this morning.»

Rin was wordless. His friend was talking as if he retrieved a lost and troublemaking puppy and that would have made him laugh, if it wasn’t for his and Haru’s circumstances.

Gou was staring at all of them, confused. «What’s going on, onii-chan?»

Rin snorted, finally getting irritated. «Come with me, you two. You stay here, Gou.»

«Oi…» she protested.

Ignoring her, Rin went out again, and Sousuke, together with a reluctant Haru, followed him. They walked in silence for a while. Rin wanted to go as far as possible from his house. He wasn’t foreseeing a pleasant discussion. He was just too angry to stay calm.  
Once they reached a little park nearby, he turned towards Sousuke.

«Why did you bring him here?! I have been forced to look for him for the whole morning with Makoto. Take him at his place, not mine!»

Hearing those words, Haru, who remained behind his friends the whole time, clenched his fists. He wasn’t expecting neither Makoto to worry nor Rin to look for him. That had to be just a simple, relaxing walk in Tokyo, with no one minding the fact he wasn’t at home. How did it turn into this? The fact Rin was talking about him as if he wasn’t there made him feel upset, but he was deserving that treatment completely.

Sousuke sighed with resignation. «I’m already tired of dealing with you two, you know?»

«What?!» Rin protested.

But his friend ignored him.

«You know what?»

Saying that, Sousuke grabbed both of them with his arms, with their great disappointment.

«Now you’ll have a nice chat and settle your divergences once and for all. What do you think?»

Haru and Rin, unwillingly forced to stay arm to arm, were trying to get as far as possible from each other, but fighting against Sousuke’s strength was rather difficult, both physically and psychologically speaking. The only thing they could do was gaze in opposite directions.  
Sousuke looked at both of them, waiting for a reaction. Rin’s face was slightly red, but it was clear he was quite mad as well.

«There’s nothing we should talk about,» his red-headed friend finally said.

«Really?»

Grinning his teeth, Rin got free from his catch. «Just leave everything the way it is! This doesn’t have anything to do with you! It’s something between me and him!»

He stared at Haru for a second: he was still looking at the ground, in silence. Snorting, he put his hand in his pockets.

«Do what you want, the both of you. I don’t even care anymore.»

That said he passed them by, walking towards home.  
Sousuke observed him, without knowing what to do, almost surprised by his reaction, and Haru took advantage of his distraction to move his arm and get away.

As soon as he noticed, Sousuke grabbed his shoulder. «Oi, are you going away like that?»

Haru glanced down. Going away like that? He literally had enough, that day.  
He gazed for a moment towards Rin.

«You heard him,» he said, moving Sousuke’s hand. «This is none of your business.»

And he headed towards home, leaving his confused and probably angry friend behind him.  
He was feeling a bit sorry, to tell the truth. Sousuke had become their scapegoat, in the end. He hated to admit it, but he couldn’t oppose to anything he told him that morning. Rin was right to be angry. Definitely. Seeing him that beaten was painful and that was probably why he was trying to defend himself. Defend from what? He really was selfish.  
As soon as he passed by Makoto’s house, he heard the door opening and his friend ran after him.

«Haru! Where have you been?!»

He almost forgot he and Rin spent the day looking for him. Trying to act normal, he smiled.

«I’m sorry for not telling you anything. I had to go to Tokyo for some errands and I went today, since I had some free time. I couldn’t imagine I’d cause such a fuss. Next time I’ll tell you.»

«Don’t worry. Maybe we just overreacted,» Makoto answered. «Ah! Yeah, I haven’t told you: Rin was looking for you too. I’ll tell him you’re here. Come inside.»

He was turning to go back into his house, but Haru stopped him.

«He knows.» He couldn’t avoid looking away. «I met him while coming back here.»

That wasn’t a lie, actually.  
He stayed in silence and so did Makoto. They were apparently waiting for each other to talk. Makoto was observing the ground, clearly willing to say something, but he didn’t know if he wanted to hear what. He knew Makoto never believed his lies. Barely raising a hand, he opened his mouth to greet him. He had a bad feeling.

«Talking about Rin, Haru…»

As predicted.  
Makoto raised his head, with a serious and a bit resigned expression.

«Something happened, am I right?»

Haru looked into his eyes for as long as he could, but he didn’t last much.

«Nothing happened.»

With the corner of his eye, he could see his best friend’s scolding face.

«I won't force you to tell me what happened, but you can't tell me it's nothing,» Makoto said, sighing right after. «I know both you and Rin well enough. Even Sousuke is worried.»

Haru couldn’t reply. Suddenly, the street under his feet was more interesting than his friend’s words. What could he tell him? He knew Makoto’s silence wasn’t going to last for long, but he never prepared an appropriate answer for that moment. Telling the truth was out of question, but he was short of lies.  
Seeing no reaction, Makoto sighed another time, sitting on the stairs leading to Haru’s house.

«You know? When we started living in Tokyo I was a bit scared.»

This time, Haru did raise his head, surprised. Why saying such a thing now? Waiting for more to come, he sat as well, next to Makoto, who puffed a bit on his hands before going on.

«If you think about it, you and I grew up together and not even once we stayed apart from each other. The fact you came to Tokyo with me made me feel really relieved. Having Sousuke working at the swim club with me makes me feel better as well, because I’m still not able to go on completely alone. I want a friend by my side. I'm not strong enough. I know we grew up and we'll get better, but… I think you're like me. Maybe that's why we stuck together for so much time.»

He stopped for a second, smiling almost by himself.

«Seeing you with Rin always made me feel kind of jealous. I was afraid he might take my place.»

Haru widened his eyes a bit. That was a weird confession. And no matter how Makoto was like an open book to him, he never noticed that fact. Why was he always messing with all his relationships? With a strange sense of guilt in his chest, he looked at the few steps in front of them.

«That’s a useless thing to worry about.»

«I know, I know…» Makoto replied, laughing. «That’s why I’m telling you this. By now, I know that he's the only one who's able to shake you this much.»

«That’s not true.»

«It is.» He said that with decision, to state its being real. «In the past I almost wished I could do the same.»

Haru widened his eyes. A sudden flashback from the only time Makoto asked him to race against him appeared in his mind. So that was what he meant. He never thought Makoto could be jealous of Rin. It wasn’t making sense. They were always together. Wasn’t it enough to rest assured? But Rin was almost the counterproof: they were never together, yet they never lost a chance to keep in contact. Yeah, even if they were both his best friends, the roles they had in his life were quite different. Makoto was his safe place, his inseparable friend. Instead, Rin was… He clicked his tongue, irritated. He couldn’t define what he was to him at all, now even less than before. He was a bother. He was a pain. He was… Whatever he was, Makoto saying he wanted to have the same role in his life was just too much.

«I'm really glad you are not like him,» he said, in the end, making his friend laugh.

«I was just a bit paranoid, back then. You don’t have to mind about it anymore,» Makoto replied, crossing his arms to shield himself from the cold air.

«What I wanted to say, Haru, is that… You might know this already, but Rin is really fond of you.»

Haru couldn’t avoid scoffing. «Big news…»

After everything that happened between him and Rin, what Makoto said was simply too hilarious.

«And I think he’s actually feeling alone in Australia,» his friend continued, overlooking his reaction. «No matter how strong and determined he looks, it’s obvious he’s upset because he can’t be with you. You’re a big motivation for him, so don’t push him away, while he’s here.»

Haru clenched his fists. Perfect. Someone else besides Sousuke saying all that stuff about Rin needing him.

«You always push away what you care about the most, Haru.»

«What?» the boy widened his eyes, stupefied. «That’s-»

Makoto’s smile blocked him. «That just means you do love Rin a lot as well, don't you?»

Hearing those words, Haru startled, nervous, just like his heart did. Yeah, that unrequested statement was exactly what he needed to feel better.

«I don't ‘ _love him a lot’_ ,» he replied, looking away from Makoto’s smile.

«Yeah, yeah,» Makoto added, laughing.

Haru grew irritated and glared at his friend. He knew he was talking about a friendly kind of love, but he couldn’t avoid talking back. He couldn’t stand having someone trying to guess his feelings.

«Oi, stop laughing. It’s true.»

«As you wish.»

Both of them stayed silent for some moments. The conversation ended up becoming more serious than expected, but there was no time nor reason to sweeten it, after all.

«In a few days, he’s going to go back to Australia,» Makoto said, almost carefully.

Haru clenched his fists. «Makoto…»

He wasn’t feeling like thinking about that. Not at all.

«And that’s why we must stay close to him. We’ll miss him, after all, don’t you agree?»

Makoto was reading him again. As usual. He didn’t have the strength to contradict him. Especially not after a morning like the one he just had. He could sense his best friend smiling, beside him.

«Don’t make that sad face while greeting him, Haru. Make peace, you two, ok?»

«Yeah…» was his feeble response. Luckily, that was enough.

Smiling, Makoto stood up, sighing relieved. «Good. Do you want to stop by for dinner?»

Haru shook his head, standing up as well. «No, thanks. I have some leftovers in my fridge and I don’t want to throw them away. Maybe tomorrow.»

«Ok, then. See you later!»

Haru greeted him and stepped on the stairs leading to his house. He wasn’t really feeling like eating and he needed at least a couple of hours to stay alone. He had to stop making everyone worry. Despite their unpleasant words, Sousuke and Makoto opened his eyes. Things were getting worse and worse. He was chasing Rin away. He was afraid. And not of Rin’s feelings, but of his own. Why was he having doubts, now? Why was his heart aching so much?  
After dinner, Makoto came to his place, and while randomly chatting with him, he asked him to go swimming, hoping that Makoto would both agree and call everyone else in his place. He wasn’t willing to call Rin at all, but his friend actually understood what he wanted. That mind-reading side of Makoto was as bothersome as it was useful.  
The day after, the two of them went to the Iwatobi Swim Club, where Rei and Nagisa were already waiting. While changing, Haru observed the empty benches around him. He wasn’t really expecting Rin to come, after what happened during the previous days, but while he was exiting the locker room with everyone, he saw him, Sousuke, Ai and Momo entering the club. He stopped, behind his friends, the moment they were close enough. Ai and Momo cheerfully greeted everyone, Sousuke coldly glared at him, Rin didn’t even turn. He just raised a hand, probably to avoid showing the others his bad mood.  
Haru opened his mouth to talk, but seeing him in that state made him freeze, like a deer staring at car lights. What could he do to repair what he caused?  
After warming up, he dove into the water, but he wasn’t even feeling like swimming. That wasn’t right. He had to do something, even if he was reluctant. There wasn’t much time left before Rin’s departure and he couldn’t let him leave without fixing everything first. Not knowing how to actually do that was not a good enough excuse. He had to try, at least.  
When he saw Rin arrive, he stopped near the opposite poolside, observing him till the moment he dove, in a lane far from the one he was standing in. That was unusual. And sadly obvious.  
Swimming back, he climbed out of the pool, walking towards the lane where Rin was swimming. The more Rin was getting close to the poolside, the more his throat was forgetting how to speak, but this time it wasn’t going to end with silence. Seeing Rin’s feet touch the wall, he took that as his only chance.

«Rin!»

Voicing his name sounded so weird and sudden that he feared he could have talked too loudly, but apparently none of his friends paid attention. Instead, Rin did and he stopped, taking off his goggles and turning, vaguely surprised.  
Haru looked into his eyes for a few seconds and then he crouched down, forcing himself to keep eye contact.

«Do you… want to have a race?»

Rin widened his eyes, taken aback, but then he timidly nodded, not able to hold in a little smile. That made him feel awfully relieved, so much that he smiled as well, helping Rin to get out of the pool. He was expecting Rin to be angrier and instead he was just waiting for him to come back. He was suddenly feeling so stupid! What was he even being scared of?  
Nagisa saw them and immediately wanted to give them the start signal. Haru turned towards Rin, while getting into position on the diving board. He had a focused look on his face, but now he was definitely happier. And he was feeling lighter just because of that. He almost forgot how much seeing Rin smile was important to him. Staring at the water again, he sighed. That was something he’d better not forget another time.  
After that day, they managed to make peace, and everything seemed to go back to normality, or at least that normality he and Rin established between them. Rin wasn’t being as clingy as before anymore. He was somewhat keeping at distance, and even if their friends couldn’t see that, Haru noticed. He was sorry about it, but that was one thing that probably couldn’t change anymore, a silent compromise.

***

The last day of the year finally arrived. As always, Haru was the host. And as always, Rin was in charge of helping him with dinner preparations.

«Oi, I need that knife! Also, you’re invading my working space!» the redhead protested.

Haru glared at his friend. «I’m sorry I have a small kitchen. Anyway, I’m the chef here. You wait.»

«What?!»

Seeing them bickering, Sousuke joined them, putting his hands on their shoulders.

«I’m glad to see you get along again,» he said, sarcastically.

«YOU GO AWAY!!» they replied, in unison, turning.

Even Makoto went in to take some plates, laughing at that scene before putting some glasses in Sousuke’s hands, who then followed him. That interruption definitely stopped the fight.  
Going on cooking, Haru glanced at Rin. Because of Sousuke’s words, his face had now become quite red and he was trying to hide it by looking busy. He was kind of funny.

«When are you going to go back, this time, Rin?»

His own question surprised him. That was the first thing that came to his mind. He wasn’t even thinking about it.

Rin kept cutting vegetables, without turning. «I’ll be leaving tomorrow.»

«Ok…»

Silence again. That vaguely awkward atmosphere was back, though a bit different from before. Haru couldn’t get why, but it wasn’t good at all. He didn’t want to feel sad on such a day.  
Trying to change the topic, he opened his mouth to talk, but Rin spoke first.

«You know, I’ll start working as soon as I go back.»

Hearing those words, Haru, who was mixing some curry in a pot, suddenly stopped.

«I seriously wonder if I’ll be able to get enough free days to come here!» Rin smiled, without noticing his reaction. «I really hope so.»

Haru forced himself to keep doing what he was doing. His mind had completely erased that detail. He felt his heart sink. The sudden thought of not being able to meet Rin as often as usual – and they weren’t meeting exactly ‘often’ already – somehow made him feel literally sick.

«You… will,» he replied, forcing himself to speak.

Rin turned, tenderly smiling. «Yeah…»

The chaos that was born during dinner made that unpleasant subject be dropped for a while, but Makoto asked the same thing during the dessert.

«Yeah, I need money, dammit!» Rin replied, eagerly punching the table while watching his friend in front of him. «I think I slacked enough!»

«You could bet on it!» Sousuke commented, going on eating, next to him.

Rin punched his arm.

«Onii-chan, we’ll come visit you, if you can’t come here!» Gou intently said, grabbing his brother’s sleeve.

While Rin was worryingly staring at his sister’s too enthusiastic expression, even Nagisa ran to him, suddenly leaning on his head.

«Yeah! Yeah! You’ll be our personal waiter!»

«Oi, Nagisa! Get away from me! And forget about it!!»

«That’s just fair!» Rei added, adjusting his glasses. «You’ll repay us for coming to keep you company.»

Rin was getting irritated, even because Nagisa was making him lose balance.

«Then don’t even bother coming!!»

«I’ll order the whole menu!!» Momo announced, raising his hand. «Right, Nitori-senpai?»

The silver haired boy was considerably torn between listening to his senpai or his kouhai, and when Makoto started laughing because of that, everyone else joined him.  
Only Haru kept eating, without raising his head from his plate. His friends were right. They could go to Australia, if Rin wasn’t able to come to Japan. Then why was he feeling that bad? He had just managed to settle things with Rin. Why this, now?

«Hey!» Nagisa suddenly shouted, violently pushing the poor Rin down. «We must hurry!! Or we won’t make it in time for fireworks!!»

At those words, almost everyone looked at the watch and started to run around, to clean the table as much as possible, hurrying then towards the terrace facing on the sea. All the nine of them ran flat out through the streets, so fast and noisily that most of the people let them pass, getting even scared. At some point, Gou got tired and Momo offered to help her, fact that generated even more chaos and ended in Rin carrying his sister on his back for the rest of the run.

«We… did… it…» Makoto panted, doubling, while Nagisa let himself fall on him.

«Yeah! Rin-chan, are you alive?»

The redhead was lying on the ground, trying to catch his breath, while his sister, Ai and Sousuke were fanning him with their hands.

«Onii-chan, there was no need to,» Gou smiled, half super happy because of his brother’s kindness, half worried for him.

«Rin-senpai, resist!» Ai was shaking his hands the fastest he could.

Sousuke just laughed, while helping his friend to stand up.

«Are you having fun?!» Rin protested.

Haru stopped next to him. «You’re an idiot.»

Rin turned, offended. «Oi… Not you too.»

«AH! They’re beginning!»

Nagisa’s shout made everyone turn towards the dark blue sky, that suddenly got filled with millions of colorful lights, reflecting on the water surface. All the people around them were staring, amazed, at that wonderful sight, someone pointing a finger towards a particularly big firework, someone else trying to talk despite all those sparkling explosions.  
Haru observed those lights almost hiding the stars, in silence. His friends were being enlightened by many different colors every time a firework reached the sky with a whistle. Fireworks always gave him a warm feeling, but this time he couldn’t help but feel a little colder, somehow.  
He suddenly heard Rin say his name next to him. Diverting his attention from the sky to his friend, he saw him raise a fist, with a gentle smile on his face.

«Happy New Year, Haru!»

He could barely hear him, but he understood anyway. Smiling took him a bit more than he hoped for. Trying not to look too down, he hit his fist with his own.

«Yeah…»

For a second, he was sincerely going to say it wasn’t that happy for now, but he changed his mind just in time: he couldn’t give Rin any explanation for his bad mood, if he did. However, probably his expression changed, because Rin frowned an raised an eyebrow, a little worried.

«Oi, are you ok?»

Haru stared at him. A lot of answers were running through his head. _Yes. No. I don’t know._ None of those was completely true. He was feeling the same as he felt a few days before and, whatever feeling that was, it was making him fear Rin, because it was due to him. It was the same feeling that made him cast Rin away.

Trying to overcome it, he smiled. «Don’t worry, I’m ok.»

But Rin not doing the same made him understand he wasn’t believing him.

«Haru, if you-»

«I told you I’m ok.»

He couldn’t avoid imposing himself this time, losing even his last smile. The more he was telling people he was ok, the less ok he was feeling. Somewhere inside his heart, he was happy to have Rin close by, but at the same time he was willing to run as far away from him as possible. For a moment, he thought about joining Makoto, but he couldn’t leave Rin there. The situation was bad enough already.  
His eyes weren’t looking at the sky anymore. When he realized he was staring at the ground, he raised his head, uncertainly turning to check if Rin was still examining his mood, but, surprised, he found no one by his side. He barely tried to look around, when he sensed something on his left shoulder and, immediately after, two hands in his pockets, next to his own.

«Rin-»

He froze for a moment. He couldn’t turn, because Rin’s face was just too close, and he clenched his fists inside the pockets, unable to move his hands from there.

«If you don’t want this, you can push me away like you did last time,» Rin just said, calmly, but with a faintly challenging tone.

Haru lowered his head again.

«It’s not… that,» he mumbled.

Rin sighed, noticing his stiffness. «Only Sousuke knows about me and he isn’t watching.»

Their friend was in fact chatting with Gou.

«The others won’t misunderstand such a thing. I can still tell them my hands were cold.»

Haru frowned. Rin was taking things lightly as always. He couldn’t stand him, when he was acting that way. He observed Ai, Momo and Nagisa still looking for fireworks a bit further, and Makoto speaking with Rei not so far from them. Why couldn’t his relationship with Rin be as simple as theirs? What went wrong?  
Mixed feelings were now fighting over the control of his body. A part of him wanted to push Rin away. That weird hug in public was making him feel really uneasy and quite embarrassed. But he was also feeling… better. Rin’s warmth behind him, his closeness, his being worried. All that was calming him and that peaceful feeling was upsetting. He didn’t want to feel that way around Rin. That aside, was he still deserving such a kind treatment? And for what? His bad mood was his own business.

«Rin, I said I’m ok.»

He tried to make him let go through words, but it didn’t work too well.

«As I said, I’m just warming my hands,» Rin calmly replied.

But as soon as his friend’s hands touched his again, Haru took them out of his pockets, stepping forward. It was more a reflex, rather than his own will, and he felt a little guilty, when he noticed what he did, but Rin said or did nothing more and let him be, while the last firework was exploding over their heads.  
Haru just looked down, before heading towards Makoto. His back and his hands were already colder.  
So unfair.

After taking one last stroll on the beach, they all went back to Haru’s place, except for Gou, who met with her friend Chigusa and left with her, with Momo’s great disappointment.

«I’m tiiiiiiiiiiiired!!!» Nagisa exclaimed, leaning with his head to Rei, who wasn’t feeling like protesting, while yawning.

«I agree… I think we’ll call it a day,» he said, cleaning his glasses.

«Same here.» Makoto yawned as well. «That run killed me.»

«You’re the one to talk?» Rin replied.

Sousuke laughed. «You asked for it! Come on, let’s go.»

«Yep!»

Greeting and thanking everyone with a smile, Haru watched his friends leaving. When Rin’s turn came, he felt something weird around his heart again.

«See you tomorrow, then,» he forced himself to say.

Rin stared at him, doubtful. «Are you sure you’re feeling well?»

«Yeah! Just go, now!» Haru replied, pushing him out.

«Oi! I got it!»

Rin gave up on getting answers and raised his hand.

«Goodnight, Haru!»

Waving one more time at everyone, Haru closed the door and leaned to it. He was feeling terribly. Even his head and his body were aching. A cold was exactly what he needed to improve that situation.  
Chasing away that sarcastic thought, he left the door behind him, reaching the kitchen and starting to wash a few dishes. Stress was getting the better of him. But he couldn’t avoid feeling that way. It was all because of Rin. Everything that happened. Why was he always messing with him? He wasn’t able to stand all those feelings Rin was putting into his heart. Disrupting his calm was his specialty. Everything seemed to be back to when they were in sixth grade, with Rin tormenting him over a stupid matter. That time, a relay, this time… What was it? What was he even upset about? Rin wasn’t asking for anything. Then what was that feeling crashing his heart? Had he really been wrong about everything all the time, after all?  
Putting down the last dish, he dried his hands, leaning for a moment to the counter. He was suddenly feeling alone. He should have asked Makoto to help him with the last housework. His head was still throbbing. Something else he could distract himself with.  
Sighing, he went back to the dining table. Tidying up would have made him feel a little better.


	10. Winter rain (Part 2)

«We’re going or we’ll miss the train!» Ai looked at his watch, greeting his friends with a smile. «Goodnight, everyone! Momo-kun, hurry up!» he said, to the guy still cheerfully talking with Nagisa.

«Ah! Yeah, coming! g‘night!»

The young Mikoshiba waved with both his hands, before running away with Nitori.

«They’re really something,» Makoto smiled, starting to climb down the stairs, with his friends following him.

«Ahhh! I had fun!» Nagisa declared, stretching his arms. «Now I want to see what will happen during this new year!»

«I agree!» Rei replied. «It will be absolutely wonderful, I know it!»

Rin laughed. «There’s no doubt about it!»

«Rei-chan, let’s go! I’m falling asleep here!!» Nagisa started pushing his friend.

«Ok, ok! There’s no need to- Oi, I’m going to fall down the stairs!! Nagisa-kun!»

«Bye, guys!!» the blonde boy shouted, without stopping to torment Rei.

Looking at that funny scene, Makoto, Rin and Sousuke waved at them with a smile.

«We should go too, Rin,» Sousuke said, as soon as they arrived in front of Makoto’s house.

«Yeah, yeah…»

«Are you sure you don’t want to stay over?» Makoto asked, with a smile. «We could have breakfast at Haru’s place, tomorrow.»

Rin shrugged. «Nah… we’ll go home.»

That wasn’t the exact thought he had in mind in that moment, though. Haru was still troubling him. He started acting weird again when he talked about his job. He knew Haru wasn’t going to be happy about it. Their will of swimming together was mutual, at least, even if Haru wasn’t being open about it. That was the reason without any doubt. A childish reason.  
He was feeling restless nonetheless. Not that he was glad to part from Haru, not at all. But spending the whole time beside him while having to keep the distance was difficult. Something broke and he wasn’t able to freely stick to Haru as he used to do. Fearing that attitude could make Haru feel uncomfortable, after the day he confessed, he slowly stopped doing that. That was also why Haru’s behavior was a mystery: he was leaving him in peace, so what was the point in acting like that? Yeah, a while before he almost ended up taking his hands, but… In that moment, he felt that was the right thing to do, regardless of feelings. Haru was just looking too down. That idiot…  
Sighing, he put his hands in his pockets.

«Uh?»

«Mh? What’s up, Rin?» Sousuke asked, noticing his friend’s perplexed expression.

«I think I lost my keys.»

«What?»

«Wait here!» Rin said, turning back. «They might be at Haru’s place! Or at least I hope so.»

«What a poor excuse…» Sousuke commented, sarcastic.

Rin glared at him. «Oi, I’m telling the truth.»

Makoto was staring at the both of them, confused, but then he smiled. «We’ll wait! Hurry, or Haru will go to bed!»

«Then I’ll wake him up!» Rin replied, running back.

Makoto and Sousuke stayed there, in silence, observing the stairs.

«Do you want to come inside, Sousuke?» Makoto asked, turning, after a while. «I think we’ll have to wait.»

«I agree. It’s freezing.»

«I hope they won’t start a fight…»

Sousuke watched him, perplexed. Makoto wasn’t supposed to know what was going on. «Did Haru tell you anything?»

«Nope,» he replied, in fact. Then he smiled. «But I can tell something happened. I won’t force Haru or Rin to tell me what, but I hope they’ll solve everything.»

Sousuke smirked, following him. «Yeah, I guess you’re right.»

***

Rin reached the door of Haru’s house, panting. For a moment, he worried about the face his friend would have made, seeing him coming back there alone. A part of him wanted to stop by to talk, since Haru wasn’t looking good again, but just taking his keys and leaving was probably a better choice.  
Sighing, he rang the bell.

«I’m coming,» Haru lazily said.

Who was it? Just when he was about to go to bed… But he wasn’t really feeling like sleeping. He was far too nervous for that. The one at the door was probably Makoto who forgot something at his place. Maybe he was willing to chat a bit.

«Makoto, what are you-»

But, suddenly seeing Rin on his doorstep, he widened his eyes and his heart fluttered for the surprise.

«What-»

«I think I left my keys here somewhere,» Rin simply said, entering and immediately heading towards the living room.

Haru watched him disappear in the next room and he closed the door. For a moment, he thought he came back to talk. He noticed Rin was worried, earlier, but if he was there just for his keys, he could relax.  
Walking to his living room, he leaned to the door frame, observing Rin that was looking everywhere, frantically.

«They must be here! Don’t tell me I lost them while going to the beach!»

«Where did you leave your coats, when you came here?»

Rin stopped and turned towards him. «We left them in your room. Can I check there?»

As he received a positive response, Rin, thanked him, going upstairs.  
Haru waited, looking at the closed entry door. Rin came back alone. Was that a nice chance to talk to him, after all? Was he simply feeling like talking to someone to get rid of that weird burden in his chest? But what was he supposed to say? _I feel bad and I don’t even know why?_ If that was the case, talking with Makoto would have been enough, but Makoto wasn’t the person he wanted to talk with.

«Haru, I found them!» Rin was getting downstairs again, in a rush, showing his keys. «Thanks and goodnight again!»

Haru looked at his smile, as he briefly stopped in front of him. The day after, he would have left for Australia again, to come back who knows when. Thinking that made him feel even worse. Was this his last chance?

«Rin…»

Hearing his name, Rin, already headed to the door, turned, surprised. He wasn’t expecting Haru to stop him.  
Haru glanced down. Now that he called him, he didn’t know what to say.

Rin made a few steps towards him. «Oi… are you sure to be ok?» Now he was really beginning to worry.

Haru clenched his fists, shaking his head. Deciding to talk made his heartbeat accelerate, as if the anxiousness in his head finally reached his whole body. He was suddenly feeling so bad he was fearing he could explode, if he avoided talking.

«I’m sorry…» he almost whispered.

He wanted to look at Rin, but he wasn’t able to move his gaze away from the wooden floor.  
Rin got even more surprised. What was that for, now?

«Haru, you don’t-»

«Just… listen,» he interrupted him.

Rin obeyed. Seeing Haru being so serious was really concerning him. He wanted to let him know that everything was fine, that he was there for him and he wasn’t angry, but something was telling him it was better not. Forcing himself to stay still, he waited.  
Haru stared at the floor for some seconds. Words weren’t coming out, but they had to. There were too many things to say, so many his brain wasn’t able to decide where to start.

«Rin, I… I’m sorry if I avoided you.»

«Haru, I said-»

«No! I mean it. You were right when you said I was scared. To think I was the one who told you not to be afraid…»

He paused, looking for a moment towards Rin’s feet.

«I didn’t know what to do, how to act, how I was feeling. I was scared of hurting you and… I guess that’s exactly what I did.»

This time, Rin walked towards him. He knew he was going to say something like that, but hearing him taking all the blame was suddenly so irritating!

«Do you think I couldn’t notice that, Haru?! I knew it! And do you think I really got angry?» He snorted, looking away. «How could I? I’m the one forcing things on you, here.»

«Rin…»

Haru finally raised his head. His friend was still staying at distance, grinning his teeth. He never thought Rin could still be feeling guilty for the way he felt towards him. That was like a punch on his stomach. Just how much damage did he deal to him?

«I… don’t think you’re forcing anything on me, Rin. And what you feel is my business as well.»

Hearing those words, Rin turned, surprised.

Taking courage, Haru firmly looked at him. «No matter what, you are part of my life. Without you, I wouldn’t even be competitively swimming anymore, probably. I could say you changed… my life.»

He noticed Rin’s astonishment and that made him realize what he just said. Blushing a bit, he looked down again.

«You are… a precious person to me, despite… all the mess I’ve made. Don’t think you should stay away from me. I can’t lose you… for something as stupid as fear.»

Rin observed him, dumbfounded. He almost couldn’t believe what he just heard. Haru was taking him by surprise another time. He was conscious he couldn’t expect more than that from him, but those feelings were even too much, so much more than anything he could hope for.

Lightly sighing, he put a hand behind his neck. «Stop making me feel like I’m the weird friend who fell in love with you.»

Haru clenched his fists again. _You’re misunderstanding!_ That wasn’t what he wanted to tell him! Did he say all that for nothing?! Raising his head, he opened his mouth to protest, but Rin’s sweet smile blocked him.

«Is that what you expect me to say?»

His voice was filled with tenderness and kindness, and those feelings hit him with such a strength that he couldn’t talk back.

«Thanks, Haru.»

Rin took another step and Haru flinched. He didn’t want to get away, but seeing him getting closer made him walk back by reflex. Why was he being so incoherent?  
Rin noticed his reaction. There was nothing to do about it. His mistake, after all. He smiled, a bit sorry for feeling sad about it.

«Don’t worry, I won’t do anything.»

That said, he simply embraced him.  
Haru immediately froze, widening his eyes. What he felt as soon as Rin hugged him was completely inexplicable. His heart was racing so much he could almost hear its sound. That simple gesture broke whatever door he was putting between them. Suddenly, he wished that moment could never end. But Rin had to leave again. He wasn’t going to be there with him like before, like this. All the times he pushed him away… What was he running from? Now it was clear: he was missing him. He was unbelievably, absurdly missing him. Every single cell in his body was screaming that. He was keeping him at distance to avoid feeling even worse whenever he had to leave. He was tired to see him leave. Till now, to be simply able to see him through a PC screen, to go to Sydney any time he had a chance to do so, that was enough. But he couldn’t be sure it would last forever. After what they went through during the last year, he grew even more scared. He didn’t want to grow apart from him. Rin arrived like a sun in his plain colored life, and he began chasing his colorful light. Even now he was going after him as if he was a star. He couldn’t stand to live without him. When did he start to be that important? Just how much important was Rin to him?!

«Haru…» Rin whispered, without letting him go. «Would you-» He hesitated for a moment. «Would you… feel better, if we just pretend nothing happened, once and for all?» Then he smiled. «Since… we probably won’t see each other so much anymore, this is the perfect chance, don’t you think?»

Hearing those words, Haru almost lost his already weak balance. What was that, now? He thought Rin understood he could stay by his side. He _had to_ stay! And yet, he walked away from him just a few seconds before. Rin certainly thought he tried to chase him away again, but it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t! Why wasn’t he able to tell him?!  
Feeling Rin holding him even more tightly, he suddenly saw tears blurring his vision. Was that how they were going to part from each other? That just wasn’t right!  
His feelings were a total mess. He couldn’t tell up from down anymore. No matter how much he thought about it, no matter how much he tried to deny it, Rin was completely different from anyone else and so were his feelings for him. That line between love and friendship… It was as if he was standing on it, not knowing if taking a step back or forward. Right now he was willing to cross that line, for Rin, but what if he still couldn't return his feelings in the end? What if this was only the spur of the moment? He knew Rin, he knew how badly feelings were able to tear him apart. Just imagining to make Rin suffer because of that choice was unbearable. And he was so afraid to break his heart that he chose to stay still and do nothing. But he didn’t have any right to make that decision. Why was he such a coward?!  
With Rin letting him go, even that last sweet warmness left his body. His whole being was trying to tell him not to leave, but he couldn’t put it into words, nor move a muscle. He just stared at the floor, speechless.  
Rin watched him, putting his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t even see his face, hidden by his black hair. He didn’t want to leave. How could he easily part from there, after what Haru told him? The thought he had to leave for Sydney in less than one day had never been so dreadful. Haru didn’t answer to his question, but he wasn’t caring about it. He made up his mind. Staying with Haru like before was the only thing he wanted. He was ok with just that. Ruining their friendship for some stupid feelings wasn’t worth it.

«See you soon, Haru,» he whispered, tenderly smiling to him.

He raised a hand to put it on his head, but Haru’s hands suddenly grabbed his coat and, a moment after, he found himself kissing him. It took him a few seconds to realize what happened, but when he did, he widened his eyes. What was that?  
They stayed still, with their lips pressed against each other’s, till Haru let him go. Noticing a salty taste in his mouth, Rin realized those were tears and they weren’t his own. He was petrified. Did he have the right to believe what just happened? In front of him, Haru was looking down, completely motionless. The only exception were the tears falling to the ground and his trembling shoulders.  
He was blinded by the thought Haru didn’t want him to invade his personal space and he never really wondered how much he was actually suffering, for pushing him away. But now he was literally seeing how many feelings Haru trapped inside him. He was always acting like that, on the surface, like nothing could reach his heart. Why was he such an idiot?! And what could he do now? All he wanted to do was telling him that everything was fine, that he hadn’t had to feel pain anymore, that he was going to stay with him as much as possible no matter what. But a bit of selfishness was also making him wonder what Haru’s gesture meant. Was it really ok to stay close to him? And in what sense?  
Uncertain, he moved towards him again, leaning to his forehead. Slowly drawing closer, he could feel Haru’s irregular breath on his mouth. He barely touched his lips once. Then again. Seeing that he wasn’t opposing, he let that warm touch last longer every time, till the moment he felt Haru’s lips moving with his own. With tears filling his eyes as well, he embraced him tightly. Haru’s hands grabbed his coat when he finally kissed him back, as to beg him not to go. Just how could he go away now? Everything he wanted was there, in his arms. Why did he had to leave? It was so unfair! But there wasn’t a way back, and even if it existed, he would have ignored it. He couldn’t ask for more. He didn’t need to. Even that moment, right now, was enough. They were finally sharing their loneliness, their hopeless will to be together. It was enough not to miss one another anymore.  
Soon, Haru stopped kissing him, probably grasping for air. He was trying to choke tears back the more he could, in a silent sob, and when his arms circled his chest looking for help, Rin sank his face on his shoulder, to avoid breaking down in tears as well and to comfort the dear friend now defenselessly shaking in his arms. The feelings they trapped inside them during the last year were by now just too much.  
As Haru gave up standing, falling against the wall behind him, Rin slowly bent on his knees, without letting him go, sliding down on the floor, where they stayed, like that, sitting near the entry door in each other’s trembling arms for who knows how long.  
Only when Haru finally calmed down, Rin smiled by himself, loosening his hug a bit. He couldn’t believe what just happened. He couldn’t believe he loved Haru that much.  
Kissing his head and then his cheek, he leaned to his face.

«Oi… Are you sure you’re not ill? You’re burning.»

He said that to lighten the mood, but also because it was actually true.  
As a response, Haru bluntly squeezed him.

«Ouch! Oi! Is that how you repay me for worrying for you?!»

Rin cautiously let him go, seeing his bright red face and smiling of his attempts to hide it looking elsewhere.  
After a tacit agreement, he ended up staying over, even because Haru had a fever for real, in the end. In any case, no matter what, there was no way he could leave him alone, let aside be far from him. Not that night.

Entering his bedroom in joggers and shirt after taking a bath, Haru found Rin lying on his bed with his arms as a pillow. It was funny: the last time he saw him there like that was probably the day everything started.  
Feeling his face becoming red again, he tried to cover it with the towel while drying his hair.

«You turn,» he just mumbled.

Rin immediately stood up with a «Ok…», taking the clothes he borrowed from him and going out without even looking at him. Though he looked calm, even Rin was probably feeling quite embarrassed.  
Taking  out a futon, he placed it on the floor next to his bed, where he immediately sank right after, facing the wall. He was dead tired for real, now. They both cried like idiots. His head was hurting, his eyes were still itching, and since the light was disturbing, he closed them, enveloping in his blankets and curling up, because he was also feeling terribly cold. After all that, even a fever! Hopefully, it was just due to all the stress he piled up. He was even lacking the strength to recollect what happened.  
Just when he thought he was finally getting asleep, he heard Rin turn off the light when he came back. Though he surely knew he wasn’t sleeping yet, he said nothing.  
Curling up a bit more, he couldn’t even think about saying at least goodnight, that he sensed Rin getting on his bed and then under his blankets, hugging him from behind. Raising his head, surprised, he blushed.

«Oi! What are you-»

«I don't know if you did what you did just because you were sorry for me and right now I honestly don't even care,» Rin said, his eyes closed, tightening his grip a bit despite his tranquil voice. «Let me just stay here.»

Haru did as he said, without replying. He himself had no clue about why he kissed Rin, but it surely wasn’t out of sympathy. He couldn’t say he was in love with him either. Not for sure. Maybe that was the only way he found to tell him he was allowed to stay close to him, to tell him he _had to_ stay close to him. He couldn’t lose him again. That was all.  
Rin’s heartbeat and his quiet breath behind him were somehow filling him with calm, a sort of warm peace, as if Rin was absorbing all of his anxiousness. Thanks to him, he wasn’t even feeling cold anymore. Closing his eyes, he focused on his reassuring presence, quickly falling asleep.

***

The morning after, he got wakened by the birds’ chirping and the sunlight coming in from the window.  
He hadn’t slept so well in ages, during the last period, though he was sure he had some pretty weird dreams about running after someone. Clinging to his messy blankets, he closed his eyes again. Rin was probably in one of them.  
While thinking that, the vague memory of someone sleeping next to him that night slowly reached his brain. Suddenly waking up completely, he turned back and his eyes widened: Rin wasn’t there. Even his belongings were missing.  
Standing up, he run out of his room. He couldn’t have left without telling him!  
Rushing down the stairs so quickly that he almost fell down, he barged into the kitchen before even realizing he headed there because he heard someone cooking.

«RIN!!!!»

Rin immediately screamed, letting the spoon he was holding fall into the pot in front of him.

«WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!!» he shouted, turning.

Then he perplexedly stared at Haru’s half freaked out, half dumb expression and at his messy bed head, bursting out laughing after a few seconds.

Haru violently blushed. «Oi!!»

«Sorry, sorry!» Rin replied, wiping his tears. «Whew, you’re unbelievable!»

He picked up the spoon from the pot, turning again towards Haru.

«Did you really believe I could leave without telling you?»

Haru flinched and then looked away. «Not really.»

He was suddenly feeling pretty stupid.

«What are you doing here, Rin?»

«I’m cooking breakfast, as you can see.»

Rin sweetly smiled, approaching him.

«Are you feeling better?»

«Yeah,» Haru mumbled, still refusing to look at him.

Despite that, Rin put a hand on both their foreheads.

«You do are warmer than me. Maybe you should leave for Tokyo tomorrow, instead of today.»

«I told you I’m fine!»

«The last time you said you were fine, you almost drowned.»

Haru clicked his tongue, irritated.  
Rin tenderly smiled, getting close to him again. He still wasn’t sure about what was allowed and what wasn’t, but he kissed him anyway. It was worth the consequences.

«Oi!» Haru protested, in fact.

Glad about not being pushed away, Rin giggled. «Get ready, or I’ll miss my flight.»

His face still bright red, Haru snorted, walking back to his room.  
After breakfast, they both hurried to Makoto’s house and when they got there, they found him and Sousuke outside already.

«Ah! Haru! Rin!» Makoto smiled at them. «We were about to call you!»

«Did you forget your way home?» Sousuke asked, grinning at Rin.

The redhead blushed. He actually ignored or, worse, forgot the fact that Sousuke was still waiting for him.

«This idiot had a high fever,» he said, pointing at Haru. «I couldn’t leave him by his own.»

«I told you I’m fine!» the blue-eyed replied, annoyed.

«The hell you’re fine!! You should go back to bed, not be here! Makoto, tell him something!»

Makoto blinked confused. «Eh? Haru, if you’re ill, we can leave tomorrow.»

«I’m not ill!»

«Then don’t blame me if you end up in a hospital!» Rin snorted, and putting his hands in his pockets, he started walking. «Let’s go, or we’ll be late!»

Sousuke followed him. «You are a failure as a nurse.»

«Shut up!!» Rin replied, punching his friend’s arm.

Observing that scene while walking behind them, Haru smiled. He missed this kind of atmosphere around Rin so much! Having it back was almost like a dream.

«I’m glad you two settled everything, Haru.»

Hearing from Makoto what he himself was thinking, he turned towards his friend walking beside him, who sweetly smiled.

«There was nothing to settle,» he then mumbled, looking away.

«Ahah! Yeah, yeah, of course!»

It was obvious that Makoto was suspecting something, even though he surely didn’t know what really happened. He was sorry about keeping him in the dark, but that wasn’t something easy to explain, even if he was sure Makoto wasn’t going to mind at all. His friend was staying by his side anyway and he was extremely grateful for his enormous patience.  
After a visit to the temple for the new year, they stopped by Rin’s place, to let him take his luggage and greet his family, then they finally got on the train heading towards the Tottori airport.

«I’m dead tired,» Rin yawned, while entering the hall of the Narita one. «I think I’ll sleep the whole time, on the plane.»

«Lucky you…» Makoto replied, sighing and plopping down on a chair. «I have to undo my luggage, sort my wardrobe and even go to work, this afternoon. And I even left some of my belongings at your place, Haru.»

Haru sat down as well. «We can do that tomorrow.»

«I don’t think so. I forgot the keys of my apartment at home. The landlady will be here tomorrow, so I guess I'll stay over, tonight. Do you have yours?»

«Ugh…» Realizing he forgot his as well, Haru sank even more into his coat. «N-no…»

Rin laughed, sitting next to him with Sousuke. «You guys are hopeless.»

«You’re the one to talk,» Sousuke commented, clearly referring to the fact Rin forgot about him.

His friend hit him another time.

Makoto giggled, looking at Haru, that was more and more enveloped in his own coat. «Haru, are you ok? You slept during the whole way here.»

«I am,» the one concerned answered, through his scarf.

«Ahah! You don’t look like you are, to me,» Rin added.

«Don’t worry, Rin, I’ll keep him away from rivers,» Makoto joked, raising a thumb towards his friend, who laughed again.

Sousuke blinked perplexed, watching Rin. «Rivers?»

«It’s a long story, Sousuke. Pretty handy if you have to force Haru to stay in bed. We’ll tell you about it another time, right, Haru?»

«Shut up,» the boy grumbled, sinking in the chair even more, offended by everyone’s amusement.

Chatting together like that, they stood up only when Rin’s flight was ready to leave.

«You’re going back too early, this time,» Makoto sighed, disappointed.

Rin shrugged, smiling. «I know, but I couldn’t afford staying here more than this.»

Haru looked away. Makoto said exactly what he was thinking. Now that everything was solved – in a way or another - between him and Rin, he was realizing how he wasted his time fighting with him during those holidays.

«Oi, Haru…»

Hearing Rin’s voice, he raised his head. His friend smiled.

«Will you promise me something?»

«W-what?»

Wondering if what Rin was going to ask for was something he could talk about in front of their friends, he saw him raise his hand.

«This year we’ll get into the national team, ok?»

That was unexpected. It wasn’t a weird request, but he immediately understood why Rin asked him that. After everything that happened between them during the last year, they ended up forgetting their main goal. Now it was time to try for real.

Smiling, he nodded, determined, grabbing his hand. «You can bet on it.»

Rin brightly smiled back, tightening his catch even more. This time they were ready and sure that nothing could stop them.  
After that greeting, anyway, he put a hand on Haru’s forehead another time.

«Oi, you’re really hot, now. Get this cured or I’ll come here and kick you.»

«Could you stop checking my temperature?» Haru protested, thankful for being able to use his fever as an excuse for his now redder face. Anyway, he was actually starting to feel worse than the previous evening. Maybe not staying in bed was a mistake, after all. He just had to resist a little longer, enough to go back home again.

Makoto laughed at his reaction. «Don’t worry, Rin! We’ll take care of him!»

«I won’t take care of anyone!» Sousuke grumbled, crossing his arms. «Surely not him.»

«Actually…» Makoto gave him an uneasy smile. «I wanted to ask you if he could stay over at your place till I manage to get the keys of his flat. I can stay in a hotel for one night.»

«UH?!»

At those words, both Haru and Sousuke uttered their enormous disappointment, but their friend showed them one of his best innocent smiles.

«Then it’s settled! Haru, be good to your host.»

«What?! Forget it! I’ll come with y-»

«What are you, Makoto? His mom?» Sousuke snorted.

«Oi, I was talking!»

«Shut up! You might be contagious!»

At that scene, Rin burst out laughing.

Haru gave him a cold look. «I hope you get ill too.»

«Oi, that’s not something nice to say, after I helped you.»

«You did nothing.»

«I found your thermometer!»

«I could have done that myself!»

«I’ll never help you again!»

«Nobody asked you!»

They glared at each other, their faces a bit more pink-colored than before.

«Ahah! Now, now… Calm down, you two,» Makoto laughed, amused.

«Yeah, tell him, Makoto,» Rin grumbled, ignoring his own embarrassment. «You can’t say those things after what I did for you, you ungrateful id-»

He got interrupted by Haru suddenly leaning on him. For a moment, he froze, his face becoming even redder. Panicking, he glanced at their friends, who were staring at them, quite puzzled.

«O-o-o-oi, Haru, you could simply say ‘thank you’, you know? T-there was no need to-»

But he blocked another time, perplexed by his counterpart’s complete lack of reaction.

«Ha-Haru?»

In that moment, Haru raised his head again, apparently not even knowing where he was.

«W-what?»

Rin immediately recovered from that awkward surprise.

«DON’T FAINT ON ME, YOU STUPID JERK!!»

And he threw a really wobbly Haru at Sousuke, with a pleased Makoto stopping him from hitting their ill friend.

«Forget I’ll call you, tomorrow!» Rin grumbled, after they made Haru sit down, ignoring Sousuke, who was laughing of his completely failed attempt not to show he was worried. «Now I’ll go. Say hi to everyone for me!»

Makoto nodded. «It’ll be done, Rin!»

Watching Rin walk away after waving at them one last time, Haru took the hands his friends were holding out to him, unsteadily standing again.

«I was thinking about getting a job.»

Makoto and Sousuke immediately turned towards the guy they were supporting, stupefied by his words.

«Oi, Sousuke.»

«W-what?» the person concerned replied, a bit confused.

Haru ignored his reaction. «Does your father still need some help?»

After what Sousuke did for him and Rin during the last period, he was feeling obliged to thank him somehow and that was the less bothersome way. Two pigeons with one stone.

Sousuke looked even more puzzled. «I think you’re delirious…»

Seeing him that perplexed, Makoto laughed. «Why this change of heart, Haru?»

«No particular reason,» Haru answered, letting them carrying him towards the exit.

He was feeling like changing again, as if what happened with Rin was the end of another chapter of his life. Now it was time to turn over a new leaf. 

After that intense beginning of a new year, anyway, he was forced to take another break, because a bad cold really blocked him in bed for almost a week. Rin, despite actually calling him immediately the morning after, laughed at his face for all the time, while he had something else to thank Makoto and Sousuke for, since they were the ones who took turns at his place and helped him out till he felt better. How not to? He definitively passed out onto them again while greeting Makoto at the station, right after Rin’s departure. He never asked Sousuke how he arrived at his house, and his friend refused to talk about it either.  
Turning off the boiler on his stove, he sighed. That was the second day he could survive alone and get up without feeling terrible, but it was time to go back to work already. He was spared of his trainings, though he wasn’t happy about it at all, but he had to go back to Sousuke’s place to talk about that part-time job. Apparently, while he stayed overnight, blocked on a futon in his friend’s bedroom, Sousuke talked with his father. He couldn’t believe it was so easy. But he had no clue about what he had to do to be hired.

«Ah! Here you are. Do you feel better now?» Mr. Yamazaki asked, as soon as he saw him enter the restaurant, after the end of the morning shift.

«I do,» Haru replied, politely bowing right after. «Thanks for taking care of me, that night.»

Saying that to his possible future employer felt kind of weird, but he was also a regular customer, there, and so they knew each other already, somehow.  
He heard Sousuke scoff at him in the distance.

«There’s no need to thank me!» the man laughed. «My son’s friends are more than welcome even if they’re ill. You should thank Sousuke, instead, but you probably did that already.»

Hearing that, both Sousuke and him stopped where they were, glaring at each other and then looking away, making Yamazaki senior laugh again.

«So… I heard you’re a good cook,» he continued.

Suddenly feeling Haru’s gaze on his back, Sousuke turned again. «Makoto said that. Don’t look at me.»

Haru avoided teasing him just because his position was on the table.

«I do enjoy cooking,» he replied.

«Mackerel,» Sousuke added, going back into the kitchen with some dishes.

«I see,» Mr. Yamazaki smiled. «Then, for your ‘entrance exam’, you’ll be the one preparing my lunch, now. What do you say?»

Surprised, Haru stared at him for a moment. «Well… Yeah, I’d be glad to.»

Sousuke came out of the kitchen again. «Cook mine too, since you’re at it. Tonkatsu, thanks.»

And with another bad look at his friend, even his working career somehow started. Sticking his job between school and trainings hadn’t been easy, but he managed to do it. Now that they were looking for a place to move in, even Nagisa, Rei and Ai happened to drop by the restaurant, once in a while.

«You cooked for Sousuke? That’s how it went?!»

Rin burst out laughing, after Makoto explained him everything about Haru’s job interview, despite him and Sousuke vividly protesting from the respective PCs.

«So, who hired him in the end? You or your father?»

Sousuke snorted, glaring at his friend who was going on laughing. «When I’m hungry, I don’t care about who cooks my food.»

«Don’t ever tell that to your future girlfriend!»

«Ahah! Rin is romantic as always!» Makoto commented, enjoying the show.

Immediately turning serious again, Rin scoffed at him. «Anyway, your father isn’t changed at all, Sousuke. He always enjoyed tormenting wannabe prodigies.»

«I’m not a wannabe prodigy,» Haru protested.

«Who was talking about you?!»

«Come one, guys, I need help here!» Rei complained, from his window on the screen.

«Oh, yeah, sorry Rei!» Rin giggled.

Haru observed them in silence, while browsing through some school books. They were helping their friends to look for a decent apartment. Even Rin was doing his best to participate despite being overseas.  He was almost acting as if nothing happened, between them, some days before, but after all he couldn’t waste time thinking either. Apparently, he got hired as well as soon as he got back to Sydney and so now they were equally busy, but on different days. Meetings like that one were about to become a rarity. He didn’t mind, anyway. Not anymore.  
Sighing, he closed his book, since Rin and Nagisa were protesting against his ignoring them.  
Everything was moving again. Swimming, his job, his school, his life. He wasn’t able to know what was going to happen next, neither in his private life nor in the professional one, but he couldn’t worry less. Even Rin wasn’t that far away anymore, now. Willing or not, they were connected by a strong kind of bond. Knowing which one was still impossible, but he wasn’t caring that much. He had proof that, whatever could happen between them, nothing was ever going to tear them apart and that was all he wished for. Staying far from each other only made them collapse every time. If they were unstoppable only together, then be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!  
> (ohohohoho! I wish I could fool you, but I already wrote there will be 17 chapters, right? XD) Well, I did think to stop here, originally... but why should I? :P  
> And there goes the first half of my story. :D Thanks a lot for following me till here!!! ~♥


	11. Oceanic

Staring at the empty dish in front of him, Haru blinked, distracted. He was almost falling asleep. His working shift was just ended. That was also the end of his third week working at Sousuke’s father’s restaurant. Everything went more than well: he got hired as a chef assistant, but apparently it turned out that he was particularly skilled at cooking fish – or so Sousuke’s father said – and so now that was what he was doing there, aside from helping the chef anyway. The result was that his free time rapidly decreased and he was going home incredibly tired every day. But he couldn’t say he wasn’t having fun.

«Thanks for the good work,» Sousuke said, sitting at the table with him to have dinner.

He was as tired as him.

«Same goes for you,» Haru replied, leaning to the seatback.

His friend next to him started to eat, observing some colleagues talking with his father.

«Any news from Rin?»

«Not yet.»

«That idiot… He said he was going to tell us. If he waits a bit more, we won’t be able to find another place.»

Haru sighed. After all, he was right. Rin asked them to go to Sydney for his birthday, but he couldn’t tell them if he was free on the 2nd for sure, since he was busy with trainings and his new job, and so they were still waiting for a confirmation, to choose the most suitable place where to spend the night.

«I’ll ask him when I’ll be back home,» he said, standing up. «Do the same as soon as you can.»

«Of course.»

«Then I’ll take my leave. Goodnight and thanks for everything.»

«Sure,» Sousuke replied, lazily waving at him.

Going out of the local, Haru breathed in some cold air. It wasn’t as clean and salty as the one from his hometown, but after working in a kitchen for hours, anything was fine. Even taking the train was more relaxing than usual, since it wasn’t crowded, that late at night, but getting home was even better. He looked at his dark apartment, before closing the door and turning on the lights. He was finally able to call that place home. For a whole year, that was only the _‘place to stay at while waiting to go back home’_ , in his head.  
Sitting at the table in the middle of the room, he turned on the PC, waiting for the messaging software to load. Even Rin was as busy as all of them, lately, in fact he wasn’t online, in that moment. All their lives changed a lot, during the first weeks of the year: aside from him and Rin finding a new job, Rei, Nagisa and Ai were still trying to find a place in Tokyo. They were probably going to choose a big, nice apartment, where to live all the three of them together, if possible. For now, they were simply taking the train or the plane, to get there. It was the same for Gou and her best friend. Their old group was slowly getting together again in another city. Maybe that was why he was enjoying his life in Tokyo a bit more than the past year.  
He was lazily clicking on a link when Rin’s icon popped up. He clicked on the incoming call, letting him appear on the monitor.

«I’m tiiiired!» Rin declared, plopping down on his chair.

«Oi, there’s no need to wake Lori and Russell up, to let me know that.»

The redhead laughed. «Yeah, sorry.»

Haru stared at him. He was actually looking exhausted. He had a towel on his wet hair, so he clearly just had a shower, and now he was fanning himself with a paper. It was weird to think it was summer, in Australia.

«So? Do you know anything?»

«Uh? Yeah,» Rin replied, slumping on his chair and lazily staring at the ceiling. «Come here in a week. I asked for a two days permission. You can also stay overnight, so stop looking for a hotel.»

Haru uneasily watched the screen. «You… know I’m not the only one who’ll come there, right?»

«Uh?» Rin immediately looked at him, vaguely perplexed, then he violently blushed. «Of course I know, you idiot!! I was going to tell you to bring some sleeping bags because Lori and Russell told me you can stay! Let me talk, dammit!»

That said, he crossed his arms, turning away, embarrassed.  
Haru sighed, a bit bothered by the fact his own face turned a bit red too. Little, stupid things like that were the only visible difference in their relationship, but aside from that, Rin was as cheerful, noisy and annoying as ever, and he was glad about it, despite his complaints.

«I’ll tell the others, then. Are you sure we can stay?»

«I said you can, gosh!» Rin replied, getting rid of his towel. «We won’t make you stay in a hotel just for one night.»

«Ok. Thanks, then.»

«No problem.»

They both stayed silent for a while, but since the atmosphere became awkward pretty fast, Rin cleared his throat.

«So… are you ok with your new job?»

«More or less. You?»

«Same.» Then he shrugged. «It’s funnier than I thought.»

«I agree.»

«But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m tired and so I think I’ll go to bed, now.»

«Same here.»

«Are you going to give me two-words answers every time?»

«Not really.»

«Oi…»

Rin stared at Haru’s sleepy expression for a few seconds, before smiling.

«Goodnight, Haru. See you soon in Australia, then.»

«Y-yeah, goodnight,» Haru mumbled, looking away.

He had never been able to stand that kind of smiles for too long, especially if they were Rin’s.  
Waiting for him to log out, he turned off his PC as well, taking the phone to text everyone.  
All his friends plus Gou were able to go, and after a week, they all met at the airport.  
Haru looked at the starry sky out of the window. A couple of hours after the take-off, behind him, Rei was already feeling sick and Nagisa was uselessly trying to distract him talking non-stop. Next to those two, instead, after complaining for a while because Sousuke sat next to Gou and was refusing to change place with him, Momo finally gave up, with Ai’s enormous relief since he was trying to sleep.  
Luckily, they were able to leave on the first day of February, earlier than the last time, so that they could spend two whole days with Rin.  
Haru turned towards Makoto, who was already sleeping beside him, before closing his eyes. He was having the feeling that was going to be another weird trip.

***

A scorching temperature and a wonderful sunny day welcomed them out of the airport. Suddenly being in the middle of summer felt really strange.  
Rin said he was going to fetch them there, but he texted them writing he was late.

«What do we do, then?» Makoto asked, watching Haru put his phone back into his bag.

«We wait,» the blue-eyed boy simply replied.

Nagisa looked disappointed. «What? I’m bored! And hungry too.»

Rei, who wasn’t still feeling like eating, gave him a bad look.

«We could look for souvenirs!» Momo suggested, immediately sticking to Gou. «Gou-san, do you want to come with m-»

Sousuke grabbed him with an arm.

«I’m just saving you life,» he said, taking him away from the girl, who sighed, relieved.

In the end, they really went to a souvenir shop nearby.

«All right, I texted Rin-senpai telling him where we are,» Ai declared, sighing right after. «I hope he’ll find us.»

«Don’t worry, he’ll be here soon,» Rei replied with a smile.

Gou nodded enthusiastically. «In the worst case, Haruka-senpai knows where he lives, right?»

«But I was hungry!» Nagisa complained, while looking at all the postcards.

Gou put her hands on her waist. «Don’t you remember what my brother told us? Just wait a little bit!»

Makoto smiled. «Is this your first time in Australia, Gou-chan?»

The girl shook her head. «I’ve been here before sometimes, when we were in middle school, though I don’t remember many things.»

«I see… Good, then! Maybe Lori and Russell will even remember about you!»

«May be…»

«AH!» Momo suddenly stood up. «Rin-senpai is here!»

In fact, after a few seconds, they saw him enter the shop in a rush.

His sister waved at him. «Onii-chan!!»

Seeing her, Rin reached them, still panting.

«I… did it…»

Sousuke shrugged. «Don’t worry, we were enjoying ourselves even without you,» he joked.

Rin glared at him. «Oi…»

«Rin-senpai! Rin-senpai! Happy birthday!!» Momo shouted, with another boomerang in his hands, waving at him even if he was right in front of them.

Rin looked a bit embarrassed. «Ah, thanks!»

Makoto smiled, kindly. «I’m sorry we couldn’t find a gift, this year, but let’s say we will be your birthday present.»

Rin, surprised, stared at him and then instinctively gazed for a split second towards Haru, who was apparently really focused on some postcards a few steps further.

«That’s… far more than appreciated,» he answered, smiling.

After going out of the shop, Rin took them to the seaside, and the first thing Momo asked when he saw the blue ocean was if they could take a bath.

«Why do you think I brought you here?» Rin brightly smiled. «Sousuke, I hope you told everyone to bring a swimsuit!»

«Of course!» his friend replied, raising a thumb.

«Then let’s see who gets there first!!» Nagisa exclaimed, starting to run, immediately followed by Momo, Ai and Rei.

«Waaaah…. I’m almost forgetting it’s February!» Makoto said, smiling, while looking at the warm sand under his bare feet. «Haru, what do you-»

But he turned towards his friend just in time to see him running towards the water, leaving his bag and his clothes there.

«And he’s gone…» he sighed.

Rin laughed. «What did you expect?»

Seeing them taking off their clothes as well, Momo rushed back.

«Gou-san, do you need a hand with the sun lo-»

Rin suddenly shut his mouth from behind. «You’re going to _drink_ sun lotion, if you try something.»

Then he turned towards his sister, who was still wearing her clothes.

«Are you sure you want to stay here?»

«Yeah!» she nodded, taking out a hat. «I’ll watch your mus… I mean… your bags, while you swim!»

Rin looked at her innocent smile with resignation, while Sousuke laughed.

«Let’s go, then!»

«Coming!» Makoto replied, running with them towards the shore.

Even the sea seemed warmer, there. That was what Haru was thinking, while lazily floating on the water with his eyes closed. Nagisa brought a beach ball and he was now playing with Rei, Ai and Momo all around him. As long as he wasn’t being hit, that was fine. All he wanted was staying there enjoying the sunlight.  
But as soon as he thought that, a hand pushed him underwater. Resurfacing while coughing, he saw Rin’s smiling face in front of him.

«Let’s have a race, Haru!»

He couldn’t even reply: a second after, Rin was the one being pushed underwater by Sousuke.

«You shouldn’t be drowning,» the tall man commented, when his friend resurfaced. «Swimming in salty water is easier.»

«Oi, are you nuts?!!» Rin shouted, trying to pull his friend underwater as well, uselessly.

«I could ask you the same thing,» Haru complained, shaking his head to fix his hair.

Rin glared at both his friends. «Well, then, let’s see who’ll get first to…»

He stopped, not seeing any goal to reach around him, and changing his mind, he pointed towards the shore.

«Who’ll get first to Gou!»

His sister heard him and went sitting even further away from the shore.

«It’s not fair!!!» Momo complained. «Why is it that they can go near Gou-san and I can’t?!»

«Shut up, Momo!!»

But the result of all that was that everyone ended up participating and, even if Haru and Rin were the first ones to reach the shore, they tried so hard to stop each other while running that Rei reached them, launching himself on their legs right before they could get to Gou, who moved her feet with a scream when the two boys fell face down in the sand in front of her. Then she looked towards Sousuke, who arrived there in that moment, and she raised her hand with a smile.

«And Sousuke won the race!!»

Haru and Rin got up completely covered in sand, spitting and hearing their friends laughing.

«Rei, you’re going to regret this!!» Rin shouted, running after him.

They spent a couple of hours playing like that on the beach, and after getting dressed, Rin dragged them along for some sightseeing, as promised. They had lunch together and then they took the train again.  
Remembering something about that pattern, Haru looked at Rin, who was chatting with Rei, Nagisa and Sousuke in the seats in front of him. Were they going there? As soon as he went out of the wagon, he understood he was right: the road sign indicating the way for the Olympic Centre was right in front of them.

«During your first trip here, I couldn’t show you this place, but now I thought they had to see it too, don’t you think, Haru? Maybe we’ll meet the national team again.»

Haru turned towards Rin, who slowed down to walk beside him. Clearly, that day hadn’t been a life-changing experience only for him.

«Yeah…» he replied, nodding with a smile.

All their friends really enjoyed taking a look at that enormous place, though they didn’t go swimming because of the schedule Rin prepared for them, with Haru’s great disappointment.

«It must have been really amazing, swimming together with the national team,» Makoto commented, staring at the Olympic pool from the balcony.

Sousuke glanced at Rin. «You never told us who won. Did you beat anyone?» he smiled, ironically.

Rin gave him a bad look. «What do you think? I was even slower than I am now!»

«They were on a totally different level,» Haru commented, crossing his arms on the balustrade.

«Well, we should try now, Haru. We are on a different level as well,» Rin replied, grinning. «A pity we can’t.»

«Next time, then.»

«Absolutely.»

When they finally went back to Rin’s home, Lori and Russell warmly welcomed them all.

«Aaaah! I’m all salty!» Nagisa complained, licking his hand.

 _«You can use our shower,_ » Lori replied, understanding from his gesture what the problem was.

Nagisa brightly smiled at her. « _Thank you!!_ I’m going then!»

«If someone else needs a shower before dinner, we have another bathroom,» Rin said, inviting his friends to follow him upstairs.

By the time they finished taking turns for the shower, Lori had already prepared dinner for everyone.

 _«You’re amazing as always!_ » Russell laughed, staring at the table laid with all sorts of food.

She winked. « _That’s why you married me, don’t you? Come on, boys! Dig in!_ »

She needn’t had to say it twice and not even a piece of cake was left, by the time that party ended.

«I can’t eat anything more!!» Momo complained, plopping down on his bag in Rin’s bedroom.

«I agree…» Makoto replied. «Celebrating you birthday here again was worth it, Rin!»

The redhead laughed. «That’s why I called you!»

It was hard to think they could all fit in one room, but in the end they managed to set all the sleeping bags on the floor, even if this was now looking like a colorful game over at Tetris.

«I want to sleep next to Gou-san!!» Momo declared, raising his hand.

Rin sank his friend’s head into his pillow. «My sister is sleeping on the bed!» he said, while Gou was cheerfully waving at them from the top bed, clearly glad she could sleep more or less next to her brother.

Then they took turns to wash their teeth too.

«Hi had we han heeph hea!»

Rin stared at Nagisa, who just tried to talk with his toothbrush in his mouth. «Oi… I couldn’t understand a thing.»

The blonde boy rinsed his mouth, while Ai was laughing. «I said I’m glad we can sleep here!»

«I knoh…» Rin replied, brushing his teeth as well.

Hearing him while entering the bathroom with Haru, Makoto laughed. «I agree, Rin. Lori and Russell were really kind this time too!»

Rin moved to let them use the sink as well. «Making you stay in a hotel was a waste of your money.»

«We would have gladly ‘ _wasted’_ that money anyway, since we wanted to pay you a visit in any case,» Haru said, before washing his face.

Rin blushed so much he had to go out of the room to prevent Makoto from seeing his face. Sousuke, who heard everything right before coming in, giggled at him and his friend kicked him.  
A couple of hours passed, before everyone went to sleep. With nine people in the same room, it was hard not to spend a lot of time chatting. Nagisa was the first one to fall asleep, followed by Ai and Rei even before the lights were turned off.  
After a while, Haru understood he was the last one still awake. Staring at the ceiling, he listened to his friends snoring more or less noisily, trying to understand who was who. Falling asleep in a room and a bed that weren’t his own had always been difficult. Getting tired of the sound of a clock ticking somewhere in the room, he sat, looking around. Yeah, definitely everyone was sleeping. Luckily, he put his sleeping bag next to the door, just in case he wanted to go out from that cramped room without stepping on someone, and that was the case.

«Can’t sleep?»

Hearing Makoto’s voice behind him, he turned, surprised. So he wasn’t the only one still awake.  
And probably even Sousuke noticed that someone wasn’t sleeping, because he raised his head too, grumbling.

«You’re going to regret this, tomorrow morning.»

«You’re awake too,» Haru protested. «Anyway I’m thirsty and I’m bored of waiting to get asleep.»

That said, he stood up, to go downstairs. Reaching the kitchen, he hoped to remember where the glasses were without making too much noise, but his first try was wrong. Even the second. He was about to open the third door when he heard some steps behind him.

«Not that one. It’s the one on your right.»

Rin was heading towards him, rubbing his eyes, with an extremely sleepy face.

«You guys woke me up. Give me one too.»

Haru filled two glasses with water from the sink, handing one to him.

«Thank you,» Rin replied, quickly emptying his glass. «Ah! Now I feel better. I’m terribly thirsty. Must be the cake’s fault,» he said, filling the glass again.

Haru put his down. «That cake was good.»

«I never said it wasn’t. It was just too sweet.»

Haru leaned to the kitchen counter. «You ate it anyway.»

«I never said I don’t like sweet food. I’m just not fond of it.»

«It’s the same thing.»

Rin ignored his words. «Can’t sleep?»

«Looks like it…» Haru sighed, hearing Rin’s question. «Weren’t you tired, instead?»

Apparently he wasn’t going back to sleep so soon. Not anymore.

«I can bear to stay here to chat for a while,» he replied, in fact.

No, he definitely wasn’t going back to sleep. He predicted it the moment he saw him. Quite obvious, since that was the first time they were able to be together, moreover alone, after a month.  
They stayed like that in silence, next to each other, for a while.  
Haru observed his friend with the corner of his eye: he wasn’t even looking at him.

«Didn’t you say you were here to chat, Rin?»

«You’re not talking.»

«Neither are you.»

Rin got away from the counter, to go sit on the sofa next to the entry door. «If you want to chat, then-»

«You were the one who wanted to chat.»

«Jeez, you’re annoying.»

«You’re the one to talk.»

«Oi…»

Haru sighed another time, sitting on the sofa as well, though not next to Rin. «So? How are your trainings going?»

«Everything’s great, I should say,» Rin replied, with a big smile. «Yours?»

«Probably even better,» Haru said, mocking him a bit.

«Tsk! I wouldn’t bet on this.»

«Give me your times, then.»

«I don’t remember them now!»

Rin paused for a second and then he smiled. «Now that I think about it, we haven’t exchanged our times anymore.»

«You’re right.»

Haru stayed silent, suddenly remembering after which fact they stopped that exchange. Rin probably remembered it too, because he wasn’t talking either. Seeing him turn, he put his guard up.

«What?» he asked, fending him off.

«I don’t want your times anymore, anyway. Racing against you without knowing them is funnier.»

«Whatever.»

Haru glanced away: Rin’s calmness was disturbing, and the fact his face was now red was even more bothersome. Noticing that Rin stood up, he turned again to check where he was going, but he barely saw he was in front of him, before receiving a kiss.

«Oi…» he protested, doing his best to whisper, while Rin sat next to him.

That definitely wasn’t something he could get used to so soon.

Rin shrugged. «What?»

«What ‘what’?»

As an answer, Rin kissed him again.  
This time, Haru even avoided protesting. He just glared at him, his face getting redder, leaning to the sofa and crossing his arms, irritated.

Seeing him so angry, Rin laughed. «You’re weird…»

«I’m not weird.»

Haru observed him with the corner of his eye: he was still watching him, with a childish smile on his face. How could he be so carefree?

«Are you… really sure about this?»

Telling him he was talking about his feelings for him and their relationship was unnecessary, and somehow he hoped his words didn’t sound like a complaint. That was also something he was asking to himself, since he wasn’t seeing a way out. He wasn’t scared of the chance he might eventually come to return Rin’s feelings completely. He was rather afraid of being carried away, of thinking he could really fall in love with him even if it wasn’t true. Or worse, of being left behind after opening his heart to someone. Not that he wasn’t having faith in Rin. On the contrary, he was extremely sure Rin’s feelings were quite solid. It was just… He never worried about that kind of things, before. How did all that even work? That was a shot in the dark.

At his words, Rin’s smile became more tender. «To tell you the truth, after what we went through, I don’t want to worry about being sure or not. Today I am, but tomorrow I may have a change of heart, or maybe not. It’s not something up to me to decide. If this is something destined to last, it will last, I don’t care how.»

That just sounded like a suggestion for him, instead of Rin’s consideration, but he wasn’t able not to care. They weren’t talking about friendship anymore! He and Rin had a particular kind of relationship since the first time they met. It was based on swimming, but it slowly became a sort of symbiosis, though it was different from the bond he had with Makoto. Makoto was his childhood friend, a precious, trusted and irreplaceable friend, almost like a twin brother. Rin was someone equally important, but… indefinable. Could he really be able to consider Rin something more than a friend? Was he already doing it? What was the difference? Hard to say, in their case. They had always been uncontrollably drawn to each other. Were they destined to end like that since the very beginning? He stared at Rin’s smile, in silence, and he couldn’t avoid thinking that having him by his side, knowing he was fine, really had a calming effect on him.  
He saw him getting closer again. Up until now, his kisses always caught him off guard. Now he was having the chance to stop him or not. It was just a matter of choices. Choosing probably wasn’t something he could do lightheartedly, but, maybe because he was lazy, maybe because he was tired of feeling and causing pain, accepting Rin was easier than pushing him away. He noticed his uncertainty, but he stayed still, firmly looking into his eyes. Rin barely touched his lips, at first, then he moved a hand behind his head, to pull him closer. He could feel his fingers through his hair. Rin wasn’t forcing him. Rather he was being overwhelmingly gentle, and even if his heart was still beating like crazy, he wasn’t feeling nervous at all. There was a little voice, somewhere in his head, that was trying to convince him that was _just a kiss_ , but to Rin it was far more than that and he wasn’t going to underestimate that feeling. Not again.  
Slightly pushing himself towards him, he focused on his breathing, synchronizing to it while kissing him back. He did it almost instinctively. Rin wasn’t letting him go and he was being carried away, just like every time they swam together. He could never stand Rin’s influence on him. But was that pure influence, this time?  
That thought suddenly made him come back to reality. He turned away and Rin let him do it, still keeping him close and kissing his temple. He was being patient. He was giving him time to choose what to do with their relationship. Logically speaking, after letting him have his way and kissing him voluntarily at least twice, there wasn’t much left to choose. He had doubts, that was for sure, but Rin was Rin. He knew everything about him, his good and bad sides, his thoughts, his feelings. What could he ever be afraid of? All he had to do was let everything flow, like the water, accepting whatever he was going to feel, whatever was going to happen. He wasn’t into that alone, after all.  
He let Rin hold him, leaning to his shoulder. The best thing was Rin not teasing him to know how he felt. A part of him was expecting it. That probably meant he was still scared of a ‘no’. Not letting him know there was no need to fear something like that might have been a bit mean, but it was still too soon for a clear answer.

«You’re an idiot,» he mumbled, closing his eyes with a sigh.

«So are you,» Rin replied, sounding slightly offended.

Then, hearing Haru yawning, he tried to look at his face.

«Oi… you aren’t going to sleep here, aren’t you?»

Realizing he was actually falling asleep, at last, Haru sat up, his eyes half closed.  
Rin scratched his head, standing up. A bit of embarrassment was finally reaching his brain and his face.

«I hope no one wondered where we are.»

«It’s all your fault,» Haru replied, standing up as well.

«Oi, you’re the one who woke me up.»

«Don’t look for excuses, now.»

«Just go to bed, you dumbass!»

***

The morning after, waking up was a great accomplishment for everyone. Though with some exceptions.

«You are just one year older than me and you can’t wake up early already! You are really hopeless, Haru-chan!»

Nagisa was uselessly trying to make a really sleepy Haruka stand up by pulling him by his arms. Even Makoto was refusing to get up and Rin was covering his head with his pillow, probably because of Momo, who was eagerly talking already at such an hour.  
After surrendering and letting Haru fall on his sleeping bag again, Nagisa decided to try with Rin, and this time he managed to drag his friend out of his bed grabbing his ankles. The scene itself and Rin vividly protesting made Makoto laugh enough to wake him up for good. He also succeeded in convincing Haru to get up.  
Gou was still hiding under the blankets on the upper bunk of the bed, in an attempt to avoid looking at a bunch of guys changing their clothes and to hide her bed head from everyone. Then she ordered them to go out, so that she could dress up as well.

«You guys are too loud,» Rin complained, while they were taking turns to use the bathroom.

It was something more like eight people in one room waiting to use a sink. Who wasn’t waiting was staying there anyway.

«When you’re finished, come downstairs. I’m making breakfast.»

«Yay! Rin-chan cooks!!» Nagisa exclaimed, raising an arm.

That news ended up in everyone trying to give orders to their friend just to have fun, with Rin shouting at them and trying to hit Sousuke, who was commenting on what a failure of a waiter he was.

«You’re too loud,» Haru mocked him, imitating what he said earlier while quietly eating.

Rin angrily threw a towel at his face.  
They spent that second day in Sydney going for some more sightseeing, and visiting all the principal attractions in that huge city. They even visited the aquarium, where they lost sight of both Haru and Sousuke quite some times, though because of different reasons. Haru rejoiced once more when Rin took them to the outside pool he used to train at during summer, and they spent a couple of hours swimming with some of his teammates. The last destination, then, was the place where Rin worked, and they uselessly tried to make him be their waiter for the rest of the evening. By the time they went to bed, they were so tired that no one had any trouble sleeping, that night.  
The third morning, at last, Russell and Lori joined them after everyone finished breakfast, greeting them and whishing them a nice trip back to Japan.

«Do we really have to leave?» Momo complained after taking his backpack in Rin’s room.

Even Ai and Nagisa were looking really down.

«Are you going to act like this every time you have to say goodbye?» Rin asked.

«But it’s boring without you, Rin-chan!» Nagisa replied, blowing his cheeks.

Rin messed with his and Ai’s hair. «I think you’re busy enough not to feel bored, right, Ai?»

The silver-haired boy raised his head, nodding convinced. «Absolutely!»

Rin smiled as well. «Hurry now, or we’ll miss your flight!»

Accompanying everyone out of his room, he stopped Haru, who was the last one, as soon as he saw everyone going downstairs.

«Oi, Haru! I have to give you my times!»

His friend perplexedly watched him, but he went back to his room. «Weren’t you saying you don’t want to exchange times anymore?»

«Are you an idiot or what?!» Rin protested, blushing and then looking elsewhere. «I just wanted to say goodbye.»

Getting what he meant, Haru gave out a little «Oh…».

Rin scratched his head, embarrassed, looking out of the room one more time to check if there was someone, before watching him.

«Can I…»

Haru glared at him, even if his now red face was probably failing at making him look angry. «Do you even have to ask, now? As if it wasn’t awkward enough already…»

«Well, I’m sorry if it’s awkward!»

They stared at each other for a while, waiting for one of them to make a move.

In the end, Haru looked away, sighing. «Just do it.»

A bit surprised by that permission, Rin approached him, but he soon realized that the more their faces were close, the more he was feeling nervous.

«So?» Haru said, after a few seconds, trying to hide his embarrassment with sarcasm.

Rin gave up, leaning to his forehead and putting his hands on his shoulders.

«It was easier, during the night.»

«I’m not doing it.»

«Jerk.»

Some more seconds passed. Haru was refusing to encourage Rin, let alone kiss him. Not understanding why he was letting him do what he wanted was making him go crazy. Their rivalry always brought the both of them to use their pride against each other. It was just an excuse to turn uncomfortable feelings into a challenge, at least to him. But now, that same pride was the only thing preventing him from doing what Rin wanted.  
Suddenly, they heard Makoto’s voice calling them from downstairs.

«Haru! Rin! Hurry or we’ll be late!!»

Taking that as his salvation from that awkward situation, Haru turned, to get away.

«Coming!»

A bit surprised and a bit sorry for the fact that Rin let him go so easily, he took his bag.

«Are… we going?» he asked, cautiously looking at him.

Rin put a hand behind his neck, gazing away. «Yeah…»

But as soon as he said that, he quickly got close to him again, planting a kiss on his lips.  
Haru stood there, caught by surprise, while his heart skipped another beat. Since Rin’s confession, he was getting that far too often. Was he really falling for him or something like that, in the end? Were those feelings somewhere inside him already? He couldn’t deny that, even before his confession, he had always been overly aware of Rin. He never trusted his feelings, whenever Rin was involved. Rin always had really too much control over him. Not that he ever  forced him to do anything, not even now, but he was feeling pushed towards him, uncontrollably, as if he was a magnet, and he was starting to be tired of trying to avoid this fact.  He always had a particularly soft spot for his bothersome friend, it was undeniable. Rin forcibly entered into his life, and when he realized he did, it was probably too late to chase him out. He always ran after him every time he feared he could lose him for good. By now, he was ready to do anything to prevent Rin from disappearing from his existence. What he felt when they had that race during middle school, or everything they went through during their second year of high school was something he prayed not to experience anymore. Was that love, after all? Was that mysterious feeling worth a try?  
Rin was still pressing his lips on his own. He wasn't indifferent to that intimate gesture, so much that he had to fight against the will to embrace him, to keep him close. Some stupid pride and a bit of uncertainty: those were probably the only things blocking him, and they were barely able to. He brought a hand to Rin’s cheek, reaching for his hair, pushing towards him to respond to his kiss. Till now, he tried to convince himself he was just going with the flow, but, for the first time, he knew it was his own freewill to guide him. He was really too short of excuses, to be able to believe otherwise.  
Anyway, he still couldn’t let himself rely on his heart completely, and after a few seconds, to avoid losing the little control he had left over his foggy feelings, he turned a bit, to deprive Rin of his lips, resting his head on his shoulder, while Rin’s arms were gently  holding him. No matter how many doubts he could collect, the overwhelming warmness in his heart was just as real as Rin's feelings. Being there with him was way too pleasant, especially knowing they were going to part from each other another time. He wanted to treasure every second.

«You do are weird,» Rin commented, laughing.

Haru frowned. «What?»

«Nevermind.»

But he understood what Rin meant: for someone who declared he didn't know how he felt, he was being rather incoherent. Rin was now embracing him and he wasn't even able to make him lose his grip. Quite the contrary, actually. He was feeling safe, protected by the feelings Rin had for him. His face was almost on fire but it wasn't because of embarrassment. His heart was simply so warm it had to convey that heat somewhere, probably.  
He forced himself to remember he had to let Rin go. His hands slowly reached his waist, keeping him close for a bit more, his face still half buried in his t-shirt. He had a nice scent, lightly smelling of perfume as always.  
Using the thought of Makoto and the others waiting for them as a drive, he gently but decisively pushed Rin away, avoiding looking at him in the eyes.

«Idiot.»

As a response, Rin chuckled again. «Don't go downstairs with such a face.»

«Look who's talking,» Haru replied, referring to his friend’s radiant smile. «It's all your fault.»

Rin giggled, without separating from him, before kissing him another time, letting it last a bit longer.

«Hurry up, we have an airport to reach!» he eagerly said, then, chasing his friend out of the room.

«Oi! You’re the one who stopped me!» Haru replied, instinctively, with Rin trying not to burst out laughing. «Oi! What’s so funny?» he protested.

Only later he had a glimpse of what Rin might have been thinking in that moment: they were acting so much as usual, even without doing it on purpose, that it was almost ironic. No one could possibly find out what was happening. There was nothing to hide from their friends, probably, but that simply wasn’t the right moment. Everything was too new and too uncertain, between them. However, _there was_ something, now, and that _something_ wasn’t simple friendship anymore, on both sides.  
While walking inside the airport with his friends, Haru turned back, seeing Rin smile next to the entry door. He was unsure of many things, first of all his own feelings, but there was no way he could abandon him. There was still that little voice in his head wondering if that was what is called love or not, but whatever answer he might find, as Rin said, worrying was useless.  
Smiling back, he waved at him one last time. For now, getting to stay by his side was far more than enough.

***

Time passed, spring came, and Tokyo was submerged by a rain of pink cherry blossoms again.  
Haru stared at them while walking down the street. Were there even cherry trees in Australia? That thought somehow made him smile.  
He was busy with his trainings again, and more than ever. So was Rin, yet during the last month, he tried to find as much time as possible to talk with him. His being so sticky was a bit bothersome, but he wasn’t minding much anymore. Not that he ever did.  
Raising his phone, he stopped to take a shot of a pair of cherry trees on the other side of the road.

_I bet you don’t have those in Sydney._

He hit the send button, waiting. A few seconds after, he saw an incoming call. Teasing him was pretty funny.

«We do have them!!!» Rin shouted, as soon as he picked up the phone.

«Then show me.»

«You idiot, it’s not spring in Australia! Why are you even calling?!»

«You’re the one who called.»

«Oi…»

«I was bored.» That was actually true.

«If you’re bored, go training, dammit!»

«I’m going right now,» Haru replied, quickly crossing the street. «Are you running?» he added, noticing that Rin was panting.

«I’m going to train as well,» the boy replied. «And I’m late!»

«Then don’t phone me.»

«You’re pissing me off and you won’t get into the national team by pissing me off!»

Rin was angry. He hated being late.

Haru sighed, amused. «I got it. See you later.»

«Yeah! Bye!»

And Rin hung up.  
Haru observed his phone, before putting it back into his pocket: he never left it at home again, after his last trip to Sydney. Was he waiting for him to call, now?

«Not by any chance,» he mumbled, by himself, irritated.

As soon as he  entered his college, he headed towards the pool. There was something he wanted to do, that day.  
Quickly changing, he started to warm up with his teammates. Even the coach was late. He saw him coming in after swimming a few laps. He wasn’t feeling like going out of the water already. Actually, he wasn’t even sure he could ask him something like that, but he climbed out of the pool anyway.

«Coach…» he called, reaching him.

The man turned towards him, smiling. «Nanase! You’re in good shape, today!»

«Yeah…» He glanced down.

His coach looked perplexed. «Is there something you need?»

«Actually…»

Was it something he could ask like that? Without even telling anyone, not even Rin? A part of him wanted to do that together with him, the other part was sure that it was time to go on, or even just to see what was needed to go on. It was just a simple request, curiosity, after all. Probably, nothing was going to come from it, the way he was now, but he was finally willing to try.  
Clenching a fist around his goggles’ band, he raised his head.

«Could I… take part to this year’s national team selections?»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this chapter was mostly an excuse to make them stay together. You know, like those weird episodes right after the end of an arc. X°D  
> I hope you liked it anyway!! Thanks for reading! ~♥


	12. Winds of change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few words about what you will read in this chapter: I looked for official information about how these things work and I found almost none, so I wrote this chapter elaborating the few data I was able to find. I’m sorry if this sounds unreal! I did my best. It’s fiction, anything could happen… ;P

****«Haru, will you dine with us, this evening?»

Makoto observed his friend, walking next to him towards the station.

Haru shook his head. «I don’t think I’ll be able to. I have a few lessons and then I’ll train till late hours.»

«You’re really busy, lately, aren’t you?»

«I told you: I have some important races the next season. Our coach wants us to give our best.»

«I know, I know…» Makoto smiled. «Just try not to work too much.»

«Sure,» Haru groaned, checking his agenda on the phone.

He was really forced to use that thing, recently. Tasks and work were piling up one day after another. What he told Makoto about the races wasn’t a lie. He actually had some important races, but the main reason why his coach was making him intensively train was the request he made a month before: not only he brought all the team to meet the current national team, but he also signed him up with a few others for the national team selections. In exchange, he had to win as many competitions as possible and train enough to show what he was made of. Things were suddenly accelerating so much he was feeling dragged around by his own life. He avoided telling anyone about the national team, fearing that expectations might put him under pressure another time. It was maybe too soon to hope to be scouted, but his coach kept telling him that he was too modest. That thought was just making him feel anxious. Even Rin was occasionally talking about it, but since he was stuck in Australia, things were more difficult for him, because he had no time to go back to Japan, at least not within April. That was why he told him nothing. After all, Rin was the one who said he wanted to see who the first to join the Japanese team was. That wasn’t playing dirty. Rin was doing his best and his coach wasn’t blind. In his opinion, Rin was even closer to his goal, compared to him.  
Something that relieved him from that feeble sense of guilt was the chat he had with Rin a couple of weeks later.

«What?»

Rin, on the screen in front of him, was looking extremely agitated and he couldn’t blame him, hearing what he said. Bumping his hands on the desk, the redhead repeated his previous words, getting closer to the webcam.

«I told you I asked to my coach! I’m waiting for a permission to come back to Tokyo!»

Haru stared at him, widening his eyes. His heartbeat suddenly increased. Call it a coincidence…

«For real?»

«Yeah! Are you deaf? Anyway it was just out of curiosity, but my coach told me I could go take a look at a training session and maybe even try to get scouted, if I get fast enough! He’s sending my times to the team after every official race.» Rin sighed, nervous, leaning his forehead to his desk with a small bump. «I can’t believe this.»

Haru observed him. He was almost going to tell him he did the same, but maybe taking him by surprise would have been better. That was a challenge between them, after all. And seeing Rin that nervous was kind of funny.

«That’s awesome, Rin,» he said, tenderly smiling.

Rin smiled back to him, keeping his chin on the desktop. «Isn’t it?» Then he raised his head. «And you? I hope you’re not slacking…»

«Not at all!» Haru replied, looking offended.

«I hope so! I refuse to join the national team without you.»

«Don’t worry, I’ll do it.»

«That’s what I want to hear!» And Rin slumped on his chair. «I hope they’ll let me go back to Japan. I can’t make it to the official selection, this year, but that might not be the only way to join the team, if I’m lucky enough. I wanted to come back within the end of June, to be able to be there in time for your birthday, but…»

Haru felt his face warming up a bit. «I don’t care about my birthday,» he bluntly said.

Rin gave him a bad look. «Well, I do care, you insensitive jerk!»

That said, he blushed as well, crossing his arms.  
Haru sighed, staring at him. Unusual normality: that was what their relationship had become, by now. He found himself into that without even noticing. No one asked and no one decided. It just happened, he didn’t know when or how. Maybe during the last trip to Australia, maybe after the last Christmas, or even before. But, though they were far from each other again, the fact they definitely became _an item_ was more or less taken for granted, exactly because none of them talked about that topic anymore. Yet, no difference could be seen. Not even Makoto or Sousuke noticed that something wasn’t like before. It was better that way.

«Now I have to go to work,» he said, standing up.

Rin lazily took the glass of water next to his PC. «Ok. Say hi to Sousuke for me.»

«Shouldn’t you be working as well?»

«It’s my day off,» Rin grinned, satisfied.

Haru glared at him. «Then don’t ask me if I’m slacking.»

«Oi, I said it’s my day off! I deserve some peace in my life!»

«Yeah, yeah. I’m going.»

«See you tomorrow, then.»

«If my schedule will let me.»

Rin laughed. «I’ll call you, then.»

«Stop calling me. Or at least call the others too, sometimes.»

«I do call them. And they call me too. You’re the only one who never calls.»

«I hate phones.»

«At least you always carry yours with you, now.»

Haru looked at Rin’s snigger, snorting, a bit embarrassed.

«Whatever! Goodbye!» he replied, logging out before Rin could talk.

A few seconds later, he heard his phone ringing. Sighing while taking his bag, he picked the call, going out of his apartment.

«Jerk,» Rin said, as soon as he heard him answer.

«Are you done?» Haru replied, locking the door.

«Come here, sometimes.»

«What? How could I even-»

But Rin hung up.  
Haru sighed, staring at his phone. Knowing he couldn’t come back within April made him feel a little disappointed. Getting scouted without taking part to the selections was possible, but a bit more difficult. Being noticed by a national team coach or some other big gun was the only chance Rin had. But he was feeling like trusting fate, somehow. He only had to wait for Rin to come back, for now.

***

A few days later, one of the reasons for his intensive training was finally coming to an end.   
It wasn’t the first time he was entering the main Tokyo stadium. He got there when he finally swam with his team during nationals, in high school, and now he was taking part to the national championship one more time. The year before he didn’t make it to the podium in the nick of time. He wanted to think that this year things were going to be different, but after all there were so many athletes more skilled than him. He lightly sighed, thinking about how Rin would have insulted him, if he were to say that out loud. Even Rin couldn’t win a major trophy, the previous year. This time they had to. Usually, he wasn’t really caring about winning. Or rather… he swam to win in order not to be murdered by his coach, but losing wasn’t really a big deal, since he always swam giving it everything he had. The winner deserves to win. That was his point of view. But with the promise he and Rin shared at stake, he couldn’t afford thinking that way anymore. Rin was the only person he refused to lose to.   
That day, he had to swim both the 100 and the 200mt freestyle and those weren’t the prelims anymore. Quite the contrary. He looked at his coach, who was eagerly talking to the athletes who were going to swim the 100mt backstroke final in a few minutes: he told him so many times he had to win at any cost, this year, that he was almost starting to fear for his life, in case he couldn’t be able to gain the 1st place. There were TV stations filming the event, not to mention that someone from the national team was taking part to the races too.  
Searching through the crowd, he managed to find Makoto, Sousuke and all the others, who came there to watch his race. Makoto was more nervous than him, that morning.

«The next race will be freestyle, right? Haru-chan will swim, right?» Nagisa’s sparkling eyes were staring at the big pool below them.

Makoto was still waving at Haru after finding him. «I can’t understand how he can be so calm…» he sighed, leaning to the banister with a sigh. «These are the finals, you know?»

«He’s the one who has to swim, not you,» Sousuke commented, from the seat he was sprawled on. «It’s better if he’s calm. This year he might even do it.»

Ai nodded vigorously. «I agree! He kept improving at an unbelievable speed, during the last months! His times could compete with the national team ones. He might really win!»

«The next year I want to see you swimming at nationals too, Ai-chan!» Nagisa exclaimed, taking his hands.

His eyes weren’t going to stop sparkling. He was running and looking everywhere since the moment they arrived there.

Rei stared at him with a sigh of resignation. «Nagisa-kun, at least watch the race.»

«Yeah! It’s backstroke!!» Momo added, enthusiastically. «The next year I’ll join the same college as you and we’ll swim together again! Right, Nitori-senpai?!»

Ai awkwardly smiled, surrounded by his two noisy friends.

Makoto was staring at the swimmers finally racing in front of them. «Whoa! These guys are really amazing!»

Even Sousuke stood up to watch. «This is a whole different world, after all. We’re far away from it.»

«You will take part to it,» Makoto replied. «You said your shoulder is practically cured. You should seriously think about trying again.»

«I do am thinking.»

«Be sure to succeed, or Rin will be mad at you!» Makoto smiled, making Sousuke snort. «Ah! As I thought, that guy from the national team won!»

An athlete who was in second place till the last second, suddenly passed the one in first place, ending up winning.

«You really can’t predict who’ll win,» Rei commented, surprised. «Let’s hope it’ll be the same for Haruka-senpai!»

«It will surely be!!!» Nagisa and Momo shouted, together.

Haru saw his friends waving at him again. He was finally climbing on the diving board, after the first whistle sound. Now he was actually a bit more anxious than before. That wasn’t a big problem, though. Once in the water, only him and the finish line were left.  
Second whistle. He got ready.  
At the third one, he dove.  
Worrying about who the fastest swimmer could be was almost useless, in the water. Aside from the ones in the next lanes, checking where all the others were was impossible. He was racing against himself, to be faster than his previous self. He was racing against Rin, to be true to his promise. If he was able to swim, there, on that day, it was because he was fast enough to win.

«He’s in third place!!» Ai shouted, seeing his friend passing another swimmer after the turn.

«And he’s reaching the one in second place as well!!» Momo added, pointing at the pool.

Rei covered his eyes with his hands. «I can’t look anymore!! I can’t take this!!!»

«Don’t be silly, Rei-chan!!» Nagisa grabbed his arms, forcing him to watch. «You must cheer for him!!»

«He’s in second place!!» Makoto leaned out from the balustrade. «And he caught up with the first one!!»

Sousuke ended up doing the same, even if he was trying to hold back. «Don’t tell me…!»

A buzzing sound announced the end of the race. Everyone’s eyes stared at the shiny table suddenly filled with names and numbers.

«First place!!! He got the first place!!!» Makoto exclaimed, grabbing Sousuke’s arm and shaking it, almost in tears, but even his friend was too astonished to react, while Momo, Ai and Nagisa were hugging Rei jumping around him.

«That’s also a personal record!» Sousuke noticed. «He really is something, after all!»

«You can bet on it!!» someone exclaimed beside them.

Everyone suddenly turned towards the source of that voice, a young man apparently staring at Haru with their same thrill.

«Do you know him?» he asked, looking at Makoto.

The green eyed boy perplexedly stared at the guy. He was probably three or four years older than them. He never saw him before. Or he did?

«Y-yeah… Why do you ask?»

«Oh, nothing special…» he replied, crossing his arms behind his head. «My little brother is participating too and I like watching talented people. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go check if I can join my brother!»

That said, he ran away waving at them.

«Who is he, Mako-chan?» Nagisa asked, curious.

Makoto shrugged. «I have no clue.»

Haru sighed, taking his bag. He was exhausted. After the lunch break, he swam in the 200mt too and he even got another medal. His coach was far more than happy. Even one of his relay teammates got a gold medal. Being interviewed was the only bad point in all that. Too embarrassing.  
He looked at the bronze and gold circles dangling from his neck. Only now he felt vaguely disappointed for not being able to get two golden ones. Rin was going to swim in the Australian national championship in a few months as well. The thought he might do better than him was upsetting, but also quite thrilling.  
Hearing a voice getting louder and louder, he turned, spotting Nagisa, who was running towards him.

«Haru-chan, I love you!!!» he exclaimed, jumping and clinging onto him.

«Oi, Nagisa! I’m falling!!» he protested, noticing all the others approaching him with big smiles on their faces.

He was waiting for them before having dinner with his team.

«You are awesome, Haru-chan!» Makoto said.

Ai and Rei were also enthusiastically complimenting with their friend.

Momo immediately examined the medals. «Ah!!! Lemme see them!!»

Haru smiled, watching everyone. «Thanks, guys!»

Even Sousuke approached him, raising a fist. «Rin would do something like this,» he said. Then, noticing Haru’s surprise, he added «You’d better hit it, because I won’t do this again.»

Haru smiled another time, doing as he said. «Thanks, Sousuke.»

«Ah! Speak of the devil…» Makoto took out his phone. «Whoa! Rin, don’t shout, I can hear you!!»

Haru looked at his friend, a bit startled, while his heart jumped in his chest. Rin tormented him for days, asking him if he was ready for those races. He totally forgot he was probably going to call.

«Uh? Yeah, he got first in the 100mt race and third in the other one. We’re with him right n- What? Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you talk! Give me a second!»

Makoto quickly passed the phone to his childhood friend, clearly disturbed by Rin’s loud voice.  
Haru took the cell phone, bringing it to his ear, doing his best to remain calm. He wasn’t able to predict neither Rin’s reaction nor his own.

«Wha-»

«YOU GOT A BRONZE MEDAL, YOU IDIOT!!!»

Rin’s shout forced him to move the phone away.

«There’s not need to shout!» he replied, getting irritated. He knew Rin was going to get mad, even more than his coach. «I did the best I could and-»

«And you’re amazing!!» Rin replied, laughing. «I can’t believe this!! I saw yesterday’s semifinals on TV!»

Haru widened his eyes, surprised.

«Russell almost got an heart attack, while watching the scene!» Rin continued. «I can’t wait to see today’s race as well! When you get home, you must show me those medals!»

«I thought you were angry,» Haru mumbled. «Don’t shout like that.»

He was really praying that the heat he was feeling on his face wasn’t visible.

Rin laughed again. «I’d better train even more, since I’ll be the next one swimming at nationals!”

«If you won’t get the first place, I’ll punch you,» Sousuke declared, grabbing both the phone and Haru’s hand.

«Oi…» the blue-eyed boy protested, while Nagisa was trying to speak to Rin as well.

«You will do it, Rin-chan!!» he shouted, supported by Momo and Ai.

«Thanks, guys!» Rin replied, from the other end. «But it isn’t over yet. You have the relay, tomorrow, right?»

Haru took control of the phone again. «Yes and I think we might even get a medal. Other than me, even Satoshi got a gold medal in the 100mt breaststroke.»

«Good! Let me know, tomorrow!»

«Rest assured.»

«And Lori wants to celebrate, so she’s inviting you here whenever you want!»

That couldn’t even be called an excuse. Actually hearing the woman complimenting with him somewhere near Rin, Haru tenderly smiled.

«I’ll consider it. Say thanks to her and Russell.»

«Deal!» Rin replied, cheerfully. «Say hi to everyone! I guess you’ll go party, now!»

«Looks like it…»

«Ahah! Good, then! See you tomorrow!»

«Yeah, goodn- Oi…!»

Haru watched Nagisa stealing the phone from him to greet Rin as well, followed by all the other friends. That cheerful scene made him smile. He was feeling really happy. Be it for Rin’s words or just the fact he called, he was suddenly even more motivated for the relay scheduled for the day after.

«Ah! By the way, Haru…» Makoto said, putting his phone back into his pocket. «A guy next to us also said you were amazing!»

Haru looked perplexed. «What? Who was he? Someone I knew?»

«I don’t think so. At least, I never saw him. If I meet him tomorrow, I’ll ask for his name.»

«Ok…» Haru replied, a bit doubtful. «Let’s go now. My team is waiting for us.»

«Yay! Dinner!»

With Nagisa celebrating the fact he was going to eat, Haru headed towards their meeting point. He was finally feeling impatient. Things were going in the right direction and his harsh training was repaying him. He could almost see a light, in front of him, shining on his goal. He was nearer and nearer to it and that was just the beginning.  
April knocked to his door earlier than he could imagine and the last day of the selections quickly followed.

«The national team’s coach is an old friend of mine,» his coach explained, while walking beside him. «We used to swim together, many years ago.»

Getting closer and closer to the Swimming Center, Haru started to feel nervous. He almost wasn’t hearing what his coach was telling him. His relay teammates and two more who got pretty good results during nationals were coming as well. Once in the locker room, he found himself together with many guys about the same age as him, who kindly greeted them all with a smile. Beside the participants, there were also some men showing the colors of the national team on their bags or clothes, probably curious to know how this year’s selections were going to be. Knowing he was among his country’s national team made his heart suddenly race. Their coach kept advising him and his companions before, during and even after the warm-ups. He knew he was excited almost as much as them, but that wasn’t the best way to make them feel at ease. Only the ones getting the first place in every race were going to have a chance. He had to be fast. Really fast. His own times were shortening more and more, but that didn’t mean he actually had a possibility. Someone recognized him as the winner of the gold medal during nationals and was whispering about it. Maybe it was natural to think he could win again for sure, but he wasn’t able to take it for granted.  
The selections started from breaststroke, then butterfly, and then backstroke. Freestyle was the last to come. Unluckily, even if they managed to pass the first selections, his teammates going for the first three styles didn’t make it. Including him, there were 3 of them going for the freestyle. He was so anxious that time flew pretty fast, but, by the time he realized it was his turn to swim in the final round, he started to calm down. It was just another race. Just a normal race.

«I brought you all here because I do think you are able to compete with some of those guys,» their coach told them, pointing at the few national team members watching from the seats or the poolside together with some spectators. «Feel like trying?»

They all stared at each other, doubtful, at first, but then they nodded, smiling.

«Well, then! Let’s see what you’re made of!»

When they got announced, Haru stood on the diving board, looking around. That stadium seemed so much bigger, in that moment. He was almost feeling overwhelmed by his surroundings, but it wasn’t a bad sensation. Repeating to himself to stay calm, he got ready into position. His teammates were on his right. As soon as a voice told them to get ready, he wasn’t feeling nervous anymore. Now curiosity was prevailing. Was he able to win? The sudden certainty he had a chance was filling his heart.  
The sound of a whistle and he was in the water. He felt his arms, his legs, his whole body wishing to be faster, to go faster. He never ever wanted to win a race so much, before, and the water around him almost seemed to grasp his feelings, letting him easily flow through it. Only 100mt were standing between him and his future. There wasn’t anyone left around him. He was alone with the goal he and Rin wanted to reach. Now that goal was the wall in front of him, getting closer and closer a kick after another, in what it felt like an instant. As soon as he touched it, he instinctively looked back, immediately widening his eyes. He didn’t even realize the race was already over. Without noticing, he surpassed all of his teammates. And not just them.  
The man in the lane next to him grinned at him as soon as he was able to catch his breath.

«Good job, dude!»

Only in that moment, as if the bubble around him finally popped, Haru began to hear all the sounds around him, including his coach’s loud voice. Finally raising his head, he took a look at the time table over his head. Starting to read from the bottom of it, he felt his heart jumping more and more whenever his name wasn’t to be seen. Completely astonished, he stared at the first line, barely noticing two of his teammates getting in his lane and hugging him.

«Nanase, that’s just what I was expecting from you!» His coach was holding out a hand to him, with a big smile on his face.

Climbing out of the pool, the first thing he saw was one of the athletes from the national team running towards him with another one.

«It’s you, then!! I knew that your name was worth remembering!!»

As soon as he approached him, he held out his hand.

«I saw you during the 100mt race, at nationals! Maybe your friends told you.»

Haru widened his eyes. So he was the one who asked about him. That was why Makoto said it wasn’t a completely unknown face. He hesitated, before shaking his hand.

«I’m Kouzaki Nobuyuki and he’s Chizohara Masayoshi,» the young man said, pointing at his brown-haired friend, who shook his hand as well. «Looks like we’re going to be teammates!»

«P-pleased to meet you. I’m Nanase Haruka.»

«Pleased to meet you too. Oi, coach!!» Nobuyuki shouted, turning towards an older man walking in their direction. «I told you he would win again!»

The national team coach joined them with a smile.

«So it’s you! Kouzaki and your coach told me about you and now that I can see you up close, I know they were right. You’re really talented!»

«T-thanks…» Haru mumbled, completely dumbfounded.

The national team coach was complimenting him. Maybe it was a weird dream.  
The man filled him with questions and he answered everything he could. He got to know the other swimmers who passed the selections and spent the rest of the afternoon listening to introductions, instructions and signing papers. He wasn’t even tired. Adrenaline wasn’t willing to leave his body.  
Once he got home again, not even a word about what happened was told to his friends and not only because he decided to do so. He was refusing to believe that could be the prelude to something grander.  
He hoped none of his busy friends had enough time to bother checking who the new members of the national team were. That was going to be a secret at least till the day he himself could believe it was true.

***

Rin stared at the monitor he just turned off. During the last two months, after April, Haru finally became easier to find, but now he was the one busy with his job and trainings as well, and the chances to talk together were less again. He almost missed his birthday too. But it wasn’t that bad, considering they were working to reach their goal. He asked his coach about going back to Japan, but for now there had been no opportunities. Waiting was frustrating. And he forgot to check who got into the national team that year another time. How could he forget so many times about news regarding the team he was aiming to? He really needed some holidays. But since he heard nothing from Haru and the others, it probably meant there was no one they knew. The fact that Haru couldn’t make it to that event as well was both relieving and disappointing.  
Taking his bag, he run out, greeting Lori. A few hours of trainings before work were awaiting him. The nationals held in April were over. He concluded them with two medals, silver and bronze, the first in the freestyle and the second in the butterfly race. That was more than he could hope for, considering that Australian swimmers were really strong. Despite that, there was still much to do. Luck had a big part in his victory.  
Once he got to the pool, he found his coach out of the building.

_«Ah! Rin! You’re here!»_

_«What is it? Is something wrong?»_

The man was staring at his watch, but then he smiled to him. « _I’m just waiting for someone. Please, go inside and tell the others to begin.»_

_«Ok…»_

Doing as he said, Rin joined his friends in the locker room, giving them instructions. His coach always acted like that with those who had some authority over the others. He never really liked calling it authority, not even when he was the captain of his team, but he didn’t mind. Everyone was there to swim. There was no need to keep the discipline.

 _«What is the coach doing_ ? _»_ Leo asked, putting on his goggles.

Rin shrugged. « _He said he was waiting for someone.»_

 _«Let’s just train_ , _»_ John said, diving.

Agreeing with him, Rin jumped in the water as well. Even if his coach kept telling him he was doing good, he was never really satisfied of his times. Despite that, he agreed with Haru to never exchange times again till the day they could join the national team, at least. He knew how fast he was anyway, seeing him on TV, and he was almost definitely faster than him. But time was passing for Haru too and he doubted he was slacking. As far as he knew, he might have gotten even faster during the last months. That was why he wasn’t going to stop aiming for the next level.  
Turning for the last time, he swam the last fifty meters separating him from the poolside.

 _«Awesome, Rin! You shortened you time again!»_ Steve said, stopping the chronometer.

Rin grinned, raising a thumb, and then he turned towards his coach, who was finally joining them in that moment. There was another man with him.

 _«Who’s that guy?»_ Steve asked, while their other teammates were stopping as well, perplexed.

 _«I have no clue.»_ Leo replied. « _But from here, he looks Asian. Maybe he’s Chinese or Japanese. Go and check for us, Rin!»_ he added, giggling.

Rin snorted. « _I don’t care. I’m training. Can you register my time again, Steve? Freestyle, now.»_

_«Ok! It’ll be my turn, next!»_

_«Got it!»_

That said, he swam four more lengths, before climbing out of the pool.

 _«Tsk! I could have done better,»_ he complained, looking at his time.

Steve sighed. « _What are you lamenting for, now? You’re one of the fastest here anyway!»_

 _«Look who’s talking,»_ Rin replied, grinning. _«You’re in the national team already, so shut up.»_

His friend laughed, giving him the chronometer. _«Register my time, you damn perfectionist!»_ he said, putting on his goggles. Then he turned towards their coach, hearing his voice. « _Rin, I think he’s calling you.»_

_«Uh?»_

Rin looked towards the man. He was actually waving at him. What was the matter, now? Sighing, he threw the chronometer to Steve again.

_«I’ll be back soon.»_

_«Okie dokie!»_

_«Do you need something?»_ Rin asked, once he approached his coach.

He stared at their guest. He was of Japanese origins without any doubt. He had the feeling that wasn’t an unknown face, but he couldn’t remember where he saw him.

 _«Rin, this is an old friend of mine,»_ his coach told him.

Rin politely bowed, uncertain about what language he should use.

 _«Pleased to meet you,»_ he replied, opting for English.

« _The pleasure is mine_ , _»_ the man replied, bowing and talking in English as well.

His accent was pretty strong. He really was from Japan.

 _«He used to swim here as you’re doing now, quite some time ago,»_ his coach explained. « _I invited him here, given that it’s been a while since the last time we met. And since he’s here, I wanted to show him what my favorite Japanese boy is capable of. What do you say about showing your fellow countryman what you can do?»_

Rin was feeling pretty perplexed, but he nodded. The two men followed him by the poolside.

_«What do I start with?»_

_«Do as you like,»_ his coach said, crossing his arms, with a satisfied smile on his face.

Rin looked at his teammates, who were staring at them, confused. He was feeling the same.

_«Butterfly, then.»_

_«I’ll be the one registering your time,»_ the unknown man said, smiling. « _Are 100mt ok?»_

Rin nodded again and after the whistle sound, he dove. He had no clue about what was going on, but someone was asking him to swim as fast as he could and that was what he was going to do.  
As soon as he finished, he could see a definitely satisfied expression on their guest’s face.

 _«I heard you excel at freestyle too,»_ he said, letting him climb out of the pool. « _Would you mind… ?»_

_«Not at all!»_

Rin smiled, thrilled. The fact that his coach called a friend to show him his skills was making no sense, but it was pretty exciting. Putting his goggles back on, he prepared to dive another time. His standards were higher, with freestyle, despite the butterfly style being his specialty. Having to swim against Haru who swam nothing but freestyle was pretty useful. He dove again. Was Haru even faster than before, now? Who was the fastest one, between them? That thought was charging him up even more. He was the only one allowed to be faster than him and the same was for Haru. Exceptions weren’t contemplated.

 _«That’s the way I like it!»_ his coach exclaimed, helping him to get out of the pool. « _This is a new personal record, Rin!»_

Rin widened his eyes, smiling. « _Really?»_

_«Yes! And here comes the reason I called my friend, here. You told me you wanted to go back to Japan, right?»_

_«What?»_

Rin turned towards their guest, suddenly feeling more and more confused. What the heck was going on? Was he someone important, by any chance? No, it was impossible. Plus, he never told his coach he wanted to go back to Japan for good. Why this?  
His coach nodded at his friend, who smiled at him.

«I came here to see you swim because my friend told me a skilled Japanese athlete was swimming in his team, _»_ the man said, using his native language. «I think I put this little holiday to a good use. _»_

«I’m glad to hear that, _»_ Rin replied, even more puzzled. «But what does this have to do with me? _»_

The man shrugged. «It’s simple: the team I’m going to coach starting from the next month lost some of the athletes due to age or injury issues and I was looking for more substitutes. _»_

Then he smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder.

«What do you think about coming back to Japan and swim for my team? _»_

Rin widened his eyes. That was an unexpected request. How was he supposed to answer? For a second, a part of him thought that going back home would have been awesome, but he chose to stay in Australia and he was really loving it. He had a nice team and an excellent coach. Even Lori and Russell were a good reason to stay there. Getting a bit more serious, he bowed. There was not even any need to think about it.

«Thank you, but I’ll keep swimming here in Australia. I won’t leave this team, for now, not even to go home. _»_

«Who said you can’t swim with them anymore? _»_

«What? _»_

«A colleague of mine gave me the times registered during the last selections for the national team held in April and you would have been first both in the butterfly and in the freestyle race. Not to forget that you also won two medals during the nationals. You have potential, boy, and you should think about my offer. _»_

Hearing that made Rin widen his eyes, but the slight bitterness for not being able to go back to Japan in time for those selections kept his mind firm.

«I’m sorry, but as I said I won’t swim in another tea-»

«Not even in the national one? _»_

Rin felt his heart skip a beat. He was sure some water prevented him from hearing well.

«W-what? _»_

He instinctively turned towards his coach, who broadly smiled.

 _«Judging from your face, he told you, I guess!»_ he said, patting his shoulder. « _My friend, here, is the new coach of the national team, starting from the next month. Seeing you were forced to stay here losing the chance to take part to the official selections kind of pained me. It wasn’t fair. And so I asked if there was a chance to… give you a chance anyway. The big players gave their ok at the condition you could surpass the times registered during the selections. I thought it was time to introduce you and I guess I was right. Of course, this one was just an unofficial trial. The official one awaits for you in Tokyo, so you’ll have to train even more, starting from today.»_

Rin was speechless. The official coach was offering him to join the national team. And that wasn’t a joke.

_«Rin!! National team? Seriously?!!»_

Steve grabbed him by his neck and he suddenly came back to reality, noticing that at least half of his teammates were getting close to congratulate with him. He was going to cry. He was definitely going to cry.

Trying to avoid it with all his might, he stiffly bowed again. «I… would be honored, sir! _»_

The national team coach laughed. «Will you be able to come back to Japan at least for a few of days, in a couple of months, so that we can see if this can become something official? _»_

«Absolutely! _»_

He couldn’t believe it. He was trying to understand where the trick was, but he knew there was none. He was completely unable to stand up and also to hold the tears. His friends probably noticed it, because John suddenly threw him in the pool. Emerging, he saw everyone laughing and despite the tears on his face, he couldn’t help but do the same. His greatest dream was becoming true. Just a few more steps to his goal. Now only one thing… or rather, _person_ was missing.

***

Haru greeted Sousuke, going out of his restaurant. Another wearing day was coming to an end.

«I ate too much, _»_ Makoto complained, walking beside him.

He came there after work and stayed till closure to wait for him.

«Will you be able to come to the swim club, tomorrow, Haru? _»_

«I don’t think so. _»_

«Trainings again? _»_

«Yeah… _»_

Haru stared at his friend’s smile. He was a bit sorry. He told no one about the national team and luckily no one searched for info during the last three months. Only his parents knew it and he made them promise to keep silent for a while. If nobody was going to suspect anything within Christmas, he would have told them after Rin’s comeback. He was feeling a bit uneasy, knowing he got there before him. To be sincere, he hoped Rin could get the same chance even if he was in Sydney, but only some kind of stunning coincidence could bring him there to join the national team, now. Plus, during the previous year, his times dropped for quite some time, while he remained more or less stable. How was he going to feel, knowing he had been somehow surpassed?

«Are you ok, Haru? _»_ Makoto asked, observing him, vaguely worried. «You look tired. _»_

«And I am, _»_ he replied, sighing again.

His schedule was packed with tasks and appointments even more than usual. Luckily, the national team had a priority over his college activities. And luckily his weekend was almost free for the first time after weeks.  
Suddenly hearing his phone buzzing, he took it out. Who could call him at such an hour? Maybe his parents.

«It’s Rin… _»_ he noticed, instead, surprised.

Makoto looked at the little screen. «Rin? What is he calling for, this late at night? _»_

«I have no clue… _»_ Haru brought the phone to his ear, pressing a button. «Rin, what the-»

«COME HERE IMMEDIATELY!! _»_

Rin’s voice almost dinned him. What was with that weird request?

«Oi, what are you saying?! _»_ he protested, his right ear ringing. «How could I-»

«No, forget it. I just- _»_

Silence.

Haru waited, not even knowing what to think. «R-Rin…?»

«N-nevermind,» Rin mumbled, seemingly just as confused. «After all, I guess I can’t ask you to… I was just…»

«Rin, are you ok?»

«No! Yes. DAMMIT!!»

That said, he hung up. Haru stared at his phone, bewildered and completely lost. What was that, now?

«Did something happen?» Makoto asked, a bit distressed.

Haru put the phone back into his bag. «I don’t know. He told me to go there and then he went crazy.»

«Could it be something serious? You don’t usually ask someone who lives on the other hemisphere of the planet to reach you, I think.»

«That idiot is just getting hyped for nothing as always!»

«Maybe you should call him, Haru.»

«Forget it!»

But despite his complaints, he dialed his number again after he and Makoto parted ways. No answer. He tried two more times, but nothing. Worry and nervousness accompanied him for all the way home. Why did Makoto have to say it might be something serious?! By the time he arrived at his place, he was so nervous that he went in circles around his table for at least five minutes straight, staring at his phone. He ended up calling his father for advice, but he also ended up asking him probably the weirdest thing he ever asked him. He never knew if he asked that sincerely or if he was just going as crazy as Rin. However, he immediately came back to his senses when his dad took his question seriously. In an unexpected turn of the events, by the end of the evening, he found himself with a ticket for Sydney leaving the next Friday, thanks to the colleague from the travel section his father was dining with. Turned out his parents were still thinking about a proper gift for his enrollment in the national team. Still unwilling to believe it, he texted Rin telling him about his new plans. Apparently, Rin really wanted to talk with him in person, because he told him nothing more. Now he was starting to get worried. As Makoto said, Rin telling him to go to Australia all of a sudden was really too weird. He couldn’t believe he ended up doing it for real.

He arrived at the Sydney airport after lunchtime. Not even stopping to buy something to eat, he got on the first train towards Rin’s house. Only once he sat down, he thought that he didn’t know if Rin was at home. Taking his phone, he called him and luckily he answered immediately.

«I’m in Sydney, now. Where are you?»

«You could have called earlier!» was his agitated reply. «I’m in the locker room at the college! I was about to start training! You’re lucky I answered! Wait for me at the station! I’m coming back as soon as I get dressed!»

«Ok.»

He hung up, staring at his phone. His heart was hammering against his chest. He was feeling more and more nervous, so much that he was glad he ate nothing because he was almost feeling nauseous. What was happening?!  
Once at the station, he waited for Rin walking up and down for the whole time. Having to face him after months because of something so sudden, mysterious and probably grave was just too much. Only when he finally saw him running in his direction with a not so sad or worried face, he felt slightly better.

«What’s up with you?!» he exclaimed, to relieve the stress, rather than because he was angry. «I can’t come here every time you need something! You don’t live next door, you know!»

He stared at Rin, who doubled up trying to catch his breath once he reached him. He was a bit worn out indeed, anyway. Judging by his opened bag and messy clothes and hair, he actually ran all the way there from the college quitting a training. Maybe it really was something serious.

Feeling concerned again, he put a hand on his shoulder. «Oi, Rin, what happened?»

«I…»

Rin was still trying to breath enough to be able to talk. Taking a deep sigh, he stood up again, grabbing Haru’s shoulders.

«I have been scouted,» he panted.

Haru looked into his eyes, kind of lost. Rin’s hands were holding him so tightly they were almost hurting him.

«Scouted?» he asked, perplexed. «By who-»

But he stopped because of the thought that suddenly crossed his mind. At first he discarded it. Something like that was impossible for sure. But Rin’s broad smile immediately confirmed what he was thinking.

«National team, Haru! They called me back to Japan!»

Hearing those words, Haru completely froze. His mind went blank, except for the words Rin just said, that were running through his head desperately trying to reach his brain. Did he just hear what he thought he heard?

Noticing his vacant look, Rin perplexedly watched him. «Haru, are you still there?»

Recovering a bit of rationality, Haru stared back at him. Rin was apparently waiting for a reaction after telling him what he had to say. They looked at each other like idiots for a few moments and then Haru finally came back to his senses enough to be able to build a phrase.

«And… And you called me here just for that?!!»

That was the first thing that came to his mind, though probably the last he wanted to say.

Rin, in fact, immediately looked offended. «Just for that?! Did you even listen to what I told you?!»

«You could have told me by phone!!»

«That’s not something I wanted to tell you by phone!!»

«My schedule was almost ruined and it’s all your fault!!»

«Who cares about you schedule!! I’m in the national team!!»

They glared at each other in the middle of the station, but after a while Rin couldn’t take it any longer and just burst out laughing, squatting on the floor.  
Haru observed him for a few seconds. He really was happy. And how to blame him? He felt that same happiness on his skin, not to count that now they were going to be in the same team, in the national team, together again. He almost opened his mouth to tell him, but Rin looking up distracted him.

«Gosh, can you believe it?» the redhead asked, calming down.

Haru tenderly smiled to him, groveling as well and crossing his arms on his knees. Running there all of a sudden had been troublesome, but now he was glad he was forced to go to Sydney.

«You deserve it, Rin.»

Observing the loving expression on Rin’s face, he saw him raise a hand to reach for him. In that moment, he was so serene he wasn’t even minding the idea of being kissed in the middle of a station.  
But as soon as Rin got closer, his stomach loudly grumbled, interrupting them. After all the worries he went through while going there, finally understanding that there was nothing wrong made him feel terribly hungry.

«It’s your fault I couldn’t eat anything,» he protested, biting his hamburger.

«Stop complaining,» Rin sighed, taking one of his French fries. «I’m the one paying. Isn’t it enough?»

They entered in the first fast food they found and now they were sitting in front of each other, a hamburger, some French fries and two drinks.

«Your parents really went overboard with birthday gifts, anyway.»

«Don’t tell me,» Haru simply replied, remembering right after what that gift was really for.

He took another bite of his lunch. Did he have to tell him now?

«They should put a mackerel burger on their menu,» he just said, saving the truth for later.

«Don’t you dare to insult hamburgers,» Rin replied, lazily staring at him. Then he sweetly smiled. «I’m happy you’re here.»

As a response, Haru lightly blushed, avoiding his gaze. «Shut up.»

After eating something, they slowly headed towards Rin’s house. Even if it was winter, in Sydney, the temperature wasn’t that cold. The sky was already turning slightly pink, though.

Haru stared at it, while walking on the street. «I always imagined you were going to cry, while telling me something like that.»

«Idiot.»

Rin glared at him and kicked a small stone on the street, staying silent for a while.

«I already cried enough when I understood what was happening,» he admitted, in the end, embarrassed.

«I knew it.»

«Oi…»

Haru smiled, amused by his reaction. He wasn’t going to change at all. He observed the not so far ocean again, sighing, but after a second, he turned, bewildered, feeling Rin’s hand taking his own.

«What…»

Rin stared back at him, shrugging as if it wasn’t a big deal, though his face was a bit red. «What?»

Haru looked away, snorting. For a second, he thought about telling Rin that someone might see them or something like that, but he wasn’t going to care for sure. He could as well let him be. But while he was thinking that, Rin gripped his hand in an even stronger clasp and he somehow ended up doing the same. They walked like that in silence for a few minutes and Rin let him go only once they could finally see his house.  
Lori and Russell were really glad to see him, as usual. Apparently, they knew he was coming there. Rin surely didn’t bother keeping it for himself. But maybe it was better that way: less suspicious. However, there wasn’t any need to hide things. Lori and Russell just thought Rin wanted to talk with him because he was _his precious swimming partner_ , or so they said. Ironically, that was also true, after all.

«And you? How are you doing in Japan?» Rin asked him, while they were changing in his room after showering. «I mean… about the national team. I have to say I thought you were going to get scouted before me, since you’re living in Tokyo and you won the nationals. That’s weird.»

While taking off his shirt, Haru stopped on purpose, to keep his conflicted expression hidden in his clothes. He was so happy for him that he completely forgot to tell him. And he really wasn’t ready to do it anymore.

«I’m… working on it,» he replied, hoping that was enough. He was going to regret this choice for sure.

«That’s a pity. Unless you are as lucky as I was, you’ll have to wait for the next year.» Rin was now looking irritated. «I should have told the coach about you, dammit!»

Haru felt a clear sense of guilt in his chest. Telling him the truth now was just going to make him get really angry or really noisy. With a little sigh, he put his t-shirt on.

«When will you come back to Japan, then?»

«In September or October, for a couple of days,» Rin replied, turning off the lights. «The coach said that if I manage to get one or more gold medals, I’m in for sure.»

Haru watched him coming closer. «And you’ll manage, don’t you?» he smiled.

Rin did the same. «You can bet on it.»

That said, he gently kissed him, and, for the first time, Haru understood he was yearning for him to do so. He really needed to stay close to him for a little while. It took him years to realize that having Rin by his side was something he absolutely couldn’t do without. Thinking about it now, he probably always knew it, deep inside. Now they were going to be in the national team, in the same team again, at last. He was feeling awfully happy.   
He gazed into his eyes, despite the darkness, warmly smiling and watching him do the same.

Rin grazed his lips again, resting then on his forehead. «You’ll manage too, right?»

«Consider it done already.»

Haru moved his red hair behind his ear and Rin took his hand, kissing it and then kissing him another time, hugging him tightly with his free arm. Their small height difference made Haru lose his balance and fall against the stairs to the upper bed, where they remained even after their lips separated. Though the wood against his back wasn’t comfortable at all, Rin’s warmness and his heartbeat on his chest were definitely soothing. He was showing no will to let him go, embracing him firmly but also tenderly, quietly breathing on his neck. Haru let him stay like that for a while, uncertainly resting his hands on his back, but after some time he seriously started to wonder if he was still awake.

«Oi… what are you doing?»

«Charging batteries,» Rin replied, without moving.

That answer made him smile. It was the perfect definition for the feeling he always got while standing by his presence. Were they addicted to each other? Thinking about it that way sounded kind of awkward, but judging by the way their relationship had always been, it almost made sense. Now he was even beginning to feel sorry for having to go back home the day after.  
Moving a hand behind Rin’s head, he held him more tightly, feeling him do the same, and he closed his eyes. Battery charging. Considering what was awaiting them from that moment on, having a battery charger by his side wasn’t going to hurt at all.


	13. Over the dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few words about what you will read in this chapter: I looked for official information about how these things work and I found almost none, so I wrote this chapter elaborating the few data I was able to find. I’m sorry if this sounds unreal! It’s fiction, anything could happen… ;P

The great metropolis below him was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes, disturbed by the voice coming from the speakers. Going back home never made him feel that excited before. Looking at the landing field getting closer and closer while buckling his seatbelt, Rin let out a nervous sigh. Even parting from Sydney had been different from usual. Having his teammates celebrate his departure towards his recruitment in the national team had been quite touching. He took part to that kind of parties whenever some of his friends met the same fate, but finally having his own one was absolutely priceless.  
Once he got his luggage back, he rushed towards the main hall. Haru, Makoto and Sousuke were surely waiting for him already. But when he got there, he noticed, surprised, that Haru was missing. He told him he was coming too. That was strange.

«Welcome back, Rin!» Makoto cheerfully smiled at him.

Even Sousuke greeted him with an eager grin. «You did it, at last!»

«Yeah!» Rin exclaimed, giving a high-five to the both of them.

Makoto laughed, unable to contain his excitement. «National team… I almost can’t believe it!»

«Don’t tell me, Makoto!»

While saying that, Rin looked around again.

Noticing his vaguely perplexed expression, Makoto cleared his doubts. «Haru couldn’t come today. A hitch: he got a call and had to run to the college.»

Rin sighed, a bit annoyed. «He could’ve told me…»

«It’s always like this, lately,» Makoto replied, smiling. «He’s pretty busy.»

Sousuke laughed. «I wonder if his coach is trying to kill him. Well… He’s aiming at the national team too, after all.» Then he messed with Rin’s hair. «He’ll join us later, don’t worry.»

«Who’s worrying?» Rin replied, glaring at him and moving his hand.

They had lunch together, but even after a couple of hours there were no news from Haru, and since even his phone was turned off, they decided to head towards his college, where he was probably training.

«And here we are,» Makoto said, opening the door in front of them.

They entered the warm hall, full of a light scent of chlorine. Under their feet, there was the big pool where about twenty or thirty swimmers were training.

«I thought it was bigger,» Rin commented looking around. «Ah! I almost forgot that Ai is here as well,» he said, then, finding him swimming breaststroke in one of the lanes. «He’s fast!»

«He’s a hard worker as always,» Sousuke sighed, crossing his arms.

«Oh! That’s Haru!» Makoto spotted their friend, who was talking with his coach near the poolside.

As if he sensed their presence, Haru turned towards them and waved. They did the same, watching him talk with his coach again and climbing then out of the pool.

«Is he coming here?» Sousuke wondered, seeing that Haru was walking towards them.

In fact, he stopped below the balustrade.

«Haru, you traitor, I was waiting for you at the airport!» Rin shouted, feigning irritation.

Haru glared at him. «Shut up and come here! The coach wants to meet you!»

«What?»

«You heard me! Do you have a swimsuit?»

«Y-yeah…»

Rin blinked, perplexed, just like Makoto and Sousuke, but he went changing, joining Haru and his coach next to the pool.

«Ah! Rin-senpai!» Even Ai, rushed towards him. «I heard the news! It’s awesome! I knew you were going to make it!»

Rin laughed, putting a hand on his head. «Thanks, Ai! You’re getting faster! Good job!»

The silver haired boy smiled, embarrassed.

«So this is our latest national team member.» The coach approached them, holding out a hand once in front of Rin. «Pleased to meet you. Nanase told me about you. You’re training in Australia, right?»

«Yes, sir!» Rin replied with a smile, shaking his hand.

«Good! Do you feel like swimming a bit with us, then? We could arrange a little race.»

«But if he wins, he’s joining the national team with me,» Rin grinned, pointing at Haru.

«I won’t race against you,» the blue-eyed declared, keeping a perfectly straight face.

Rin maliciously smiled. «What? Are you afraid of losing to a national team member?»

«On the contrary: I fear I might win.»

«What?!»

Haru looked at his annoyed expression and scoffed at him, putting on his goggles.

«Well, then!» Rin shouted, pointing at him again. «If I win, you’ll treat all of us for dinner!»

«Same goes for you.»

Rin showed him a sly grin. «You also lost that old bet, it seems. You told me you’d swim butterfly against me, if I was the first one to join the national team.»

«Are you still remembering that?»

«Of course!»

«Tsk! Forget it!»

«There’s no way I’m doing it! Get ready, Haru!»

The fact that Rin was going to join the national team quickly spread among the other swimmers and he got submerged by questions, not to count that his declaration of war towards Haru ended up turning everyone’s training in a race against each other.  
When that crazy training session ended, they caught up with Makoto and Sousuke again and Ai joined them.

«You should stop being upset. That’s what happens when you have too much self confidence,» Sousuke commented, amused, staring at his red-headed friend, who was still grumbling for his defeat walking between him and Ai.

«Shut up!» Rin replied, giving Haru a furious look. «Why the hell aren’t you in the national team already, dammit?! Is your coach blind?!»

Haru said nothing, quietly walking behind him with Makoto. Seeing him that angry was ironic. Even his coach couldn’t help but laugh when Rin tried to force him to call the national team immediately: he asked him and all the teammates who knew the truth to keep his enrollment in the national team a secret and so he couldn’t blame Rin’s reaction, considering that even Ai was still in the dark about it. Not to count that, when he saw Rin, Makoto and Sousuke at the pool, he felt really relieved: if they arrived only twenty minutes earlier, he couldn’t be found at the college, since he was rushing there from another training session with the national team. He was starting to feel somehow nervous only now. The day after, he was supposed to tell Rin the truth. Why the heck didn’t he tell everyone since the very beginning? Panicking now was useless.  
That evening, they had dinner together at Sousuke’s restaurant – and Rin hadn’t been forced to pay, in the end. The official meeting with everyone was fixed for the day after.

«See you tomorrow, then,» Haru said, greeting Sousuke and Rin, who was staying at his friend’s place to spend the night.

«I’m starting to feel anxious,» the redhead said, rubbing his neck with a hand.

Makoto giggled. «Be sure to sleep, tonight! Tomorrow will be a terrible day!»

«You’re not helping me to relax!!» Rin protested, yawning right after. «Anyway I’ll sleep for sure!»

Greeting him one more time, Haru began walking towards the station with Makoto. It was just as he said: it really was going to be a terrific day.

***

«I’m terrified,» Rin declared, walking with his friends and his sister through the crowded Tokyo streets.

Sousuke patted his head, to mock him. «Why should you be? Stop being such an idiot. It’s not like you’re getting married.»

«He is!!» Nagisa shouted, grabbing Rin’s arm. «To Japan!!»

Makoto and Rei laughed, but Rin glared at all of them.

«That’s not going to make me feel better!»

The appointment with the coach at the swimming center was fixed for 2:00PM, and they left for that destination right after lunch. It was a splendid sunny day, so they decided to put it to use, calmly walking towards the stadium.

When they reached the main entrance, Rin looked around. «Where the hell is Haru? Yesterday he said he was going to come. He’s not even picking up the phone. Again.»

Makoto shrugged. «I have no clue. I tried to call him too, but…»

Rin looked at his phone. That wasn’t expected. Not at all.

«Jeez, he can’t be around even on such a day, that dumbass…»

«He’ll miss all the fun,» Nagisa commented.

«What twisted idea of this appointment did you get?» Rei sighed.

Makoto kindly smiled. «Let’s get inside, for now. I’ll text him to tell him we’re here already.»

«I wanna go with Rin-senpai!» Momo shouted, trying to drag Rin into the building despite his complaints.

Once inside, they met with the coach, who accompanied them to a small office.

«Don’t worry, Matsuoka-kun. Just some routine procedures. Your friends can wait for us here,» the man said.

Rin gave one last look at his friends sitting on some chairs in the corridor waving at him, before the door was closed. Really, where was Haru?

«I asked for your data from your Australian college. I saw you’ve been the captain of your high school team and you also did a good job during the nationals you took part to with the Samezuka high school swimming club,» the coach said, inviting him to take a seat.

Rin smiled, a bit embarrassed, sitting down. «Thanks! It’s been a long way here, after all.»

«Not so long. You’re still pretty young, you know? Almost all the other members are about your age or a few years more. There’s also someone younger, though…»

That said, the man took some papers and started writing something on his PC.

«You even got two medals during the Australian nationals. I guess you can consider yourself in, now. Australians are tough guys!» he smiled, printing some papers. «Just sign these last documents and then we’ll be ready to test you officially.»

«Thanks a lot!» Rin exclaimed, staring, astonished, at the writings on the paper in front of him. That was simply unbelievable!

«Oh! By the way, Matsuoka, when I phoned you, last time, you said you wanted to introduce a talented friend of yours to me. Is he here?»

«Ah…»

Hearing that, Rin lowered his head. After all the trouble he went through to ask for a meeting with Haru to show his skills to the team, after all the times he told him to be there no matter what, and all the times Haru promised him he would be present, that idiot didn’t show up. Was he even caring about all this?!

«He… couldn’t make it,» he replied, suddenly feeling both angry and sad.

«That’s a pity. This might have been his one in a lifetime chance.»

Rin clenched his fists. He was already picturing the both of them together in the national team. Haru told him he wasn’t busy, that day, but he didn’t even call to say he was going to be late. He was even starting to worry, now. There had to be a really valid, or worse, serious reason behind that.  
Sighing, he put the last signature on the papers, returning them.

«Once you’re done, you can join the others in the locker room. I want you to show your skills to the rest of the team and to a few more judges. I expect great things from you! You might even take part to the World Championship in Italy next year, if you train well.»

Rin nodded, determined. «I won’t let you down at all!»

His new coach laughed, standing up. «I like this spirit!» Then he shook his hand with a smile. «Once I’m finished with all this bureaucracy, I’ll join you at the pool. My latest prospect insisted to introduce you to the other athletes. He should be here, by now, I think. You’ll probably find him outside.»

Thanking his new coach one more time with a bow, Rin went out of the office and his friends stood up as soon as they saw him.

«So?» Gou asked him, her eyes shining, awaiting.

He showed them a broad smile, raising his thumbs. «I’m basically in!!»

Hearing those words, everyone shouted in joy, literally assaulting him. Rin laughed together with them. Literally nothing could have made him happier, in that moment.  
Excited, he looked around. The person he was supposed to wait for wasn’t there yet. How was his first teammate going to be like? Was he a famous swimmer already? How fast was he? Questions like those were filling his mind. He was extremely curious.

«Ah! Haru-chan is here!!» Nagisa exclaimed, pointing at their friend, who was running towards them in that moment.

«I’m sorry, I’m late!» Haru said, panting and bending on his knees.

Though he was relieved in seeing him there safe and sound, Rin suddenly felt pretty irritated.

«You’re late?!» he replied, raising his voice. «You’re an idiot!! You knew I expected you to be here! Are you going to be late even when you’ll be the one being called here?! Now you’ll come with me and pay that damn bet, damn you!»

Haru stared at him, totally unperturbed. «Sorry, I only swim free.»

«What?» Rin protested, offended. «After all the times you told me you were able to come here and you didn’t, that’s all you have to say?!»

Haru ignored his reaction, starting to walk away. «Shut up and follow me.»

All of his friends blinked, perplexed.

«Where to?» Rin asked, confused.

Haru stopped again, without even turning. «To the locker room, where else?»

Rin widened his eyes, completely speechless. His heart skipped a beat, maybe even two. He was literally forcing himself to believe he misunderstood what he just heard.  
Haru turned once more towards his friends. Everyone was staring at him, their mouth open in surprise.

Makoto slowly pointed at him, without changing expression. «Ha-Ha-Haru, that is…»

Even Gou was doing the same, astonished, finally noticing the big prints on their friend’s bag. «The national team?!!!» she screamed, in the end, voicing what everyone was thinking. «How… When?!!!»

Haru put a hand behind his head, gazing away, uneasy. As expected, he wasn’t ready for their reactions, not to talk about telling them the truth, but he had to.

«I… took part to the last selections in April,» he admitted, looking at his bag.

That was the very first time he used it and he did it on purpose, to avoid having to tell them openly. Apparently, it worked.

«I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to wait and see if I could find a chance for Rin to get scouted, but I guess there’s no problem, now.»

In that moment, Rin quickly walked towards him.

«You… JERK!» he exclaimed and he tried to hit him with a punch, but Haru managed to avoid it.

«Oi, Rin…!»

Even their friends were getting ready to stop him.

«Oi my ass!!» Rin replied, clenching his fists. «You feign ignorance the whole time, letting me worry like crazy, and then you just come here with the national team bag like… like…!!»

His voice got broken by the tears suddenly running on his face.

Haru worryingly stared at him, cautiously holding out a hand. «I’m sorry, I-»

But Rin quickly grabbed his collar, pulling him towards himself and hugging him with all his strength.

«I hate you, idiot!!» he said, through the tears.

Haru stood there, widening his eyes. For a moment, he really thought Rin was angry beyond repair, but having him crying on his shoulder and saying words that probably meant the complete opposite was a far more surprising reaction. Sighing with relief, he put his hands on Rin’s shaking back.

«I’m sorry. I couldn’t find a way to tell you and I thought that letting it be a surprise was the best choice.»

«You’re an idiot nonetheless,» Rin replied, clinging to him even more.

Haru sweetly smiled. He wasn’t even caring about his friends staring at them. In that situation, such a sweet gesture wasn’t out of place at all in any case. Closing his eyes, he tenderly embraced Rin as well.

«Probably you’re right.»

«I can’t believe… that Haru-chan and Rin-chan are in the national teeeeeeam!!»

That said Nagisa launched himself on his two friends and all the others did the same, someone crying, someone else smiling, turning that touching moment into a big group hug.  
Haru felt Rin’s back shaking even more, but this time he was laughing.

«By the way, I think you lost our bet, Rin,» he said, amused.

This time, Rin really punched him – though lightly – on his stomach, without letting him go.

«If I’m here, it’s because I swam faster than _someone_ did during the selections,» he said, unable to hide his happiness. «So shut the hell up!»

And everyone burst out laughing.  
Once ready to swim, Rin followed Haru to the pool. Despite having swum in that place many times, it never looked so big and shiny to him. Other swimmers about their age warmly welcomed him. That was the world he always dreamed of, filled with high speed, rules, expectations, hardships, but also immense satisfaction. Finally, the whole world was going to be his stage. He watched Haru calling some teammates to introduce them to him. Later, the team and the judges who tested him just confirmed what the coach already said. If there was a way to feel happier than that, he seriously wasn’t able to imagine it.

«Those guys are really nice and they’re very fast too!» he said, walking towards the station with everyone after the training session ended. He was still ecstatic about the new tracksuit now lying in his bag.

«You mean Nobu and Masa?» Haru asked, turning towards him.

Rin looked puzzled. «What’s with _Nobu_ and _Masa_? You’re always the last one calling people by their name, not to mention nicknames.»

«They insisted…»

«It took you ages to call me by my first name and now _they insisted_?!»

«Are you jealous?»

As a response, Rin kicked him, making him fall on the hedge running along the street.

«Oi!» Haru protested.

Makoto laughed, helping his friend to stand up again. «I still can’t believe you two are in the national team!»

«Don’t tell me,» Rin replied, looking at him.

Ai nodded vigorously. «Some of your teammates even took part to the last Olympics!»

«I can’t believe I spoke with real Olympic swimmers!» Gou added, almost in tears. «Olympic biceps are the best!»

Momo immediately ran in front of her. «Then I’ll become an Olympic swimmer too!! What do you think, Gou-san?!»

Sousuke grabbed him, dragging him away. «You still have a long way to go…»

«What? You’re not encouraging at all, senpai!!»

«And I won’t be.»

«Then are we having dinner at you restaurant, Sou-chan?» Nagisa asked, enthusiastically, ignoring Momo’s loud complaints.

«Yeah,» Sousuke replied, sighing and then smiling. «Since it’s for a special occasion, it’s on the house, tonight.»

«Really?!» Momo, Nagisa, Ai, Rei and Gou exclaimed, in unison.

«Will you be our waiter?» Rin giggled, making fun of him.

«Forget it,» his friend replied, grabbing him too with the free arm he had left.

But despite what he said, he actually ended up being the one taking their ordinations.

«This isn’t fair, Sousuke-senpai!» Momo complained. «You should be staying here with us!»

«When my shift ends, I’ll join you,» Sousuke replied. «We’re busy, since _someone_ took another day off, today.»

«Can I order something that’s not on the menu?» Haru mocked him, pretending to be intently focused on the list he was reading.

Sousuke feigned indifference as well. «Go cook it yourself.»

«Why don’t you just cook all our dinner? It’s your job after all,» Rin grinned, staring at Haru, who was sitting next to him. «It’s the right punishment for hiding the truth from us!»

The blue eyed boy glared at him. «Will you stop bragging about this?»

«Forget it.»

«Then if I cook, you’ll be the waiter. It’s your job after all,» Haru copycatted him.

Nagisa burst out laughing. «I wanna see that! I totally wanna see that!!»

«I’m afraid of the results of such a collaboration,» Makoto commented, trying not to laugh as well in front of his friends now intently arguing with each other.

In the end Sousuke managed to take their ordinations and his father even called for a toast dedicated to the new national team members.

«You should smile, in these occasions, Haruka-senpai,» Gou suggested, looking at his troubled face.

Nagisa raised his glass again. «You’re going to be famous, Haru-chan!»

«I don’t want to get famous,» Haru declared, going on eating. «Oi…»

Rin just stole some food from his plate. «If you don’t want to get famous, you simply have to avoid winning any medal, but in that case I won’t talk to you anymore.»

«I don’t care about m-»

«Dare to say that and I’ll hit you.»

«Ahah! Haru is just too modest,» Makoto laughed, filling his friend’s glass with water.

Sousuke, who heard them, stopped by their table, maliciously smiling. «Not like someone else,» he grinned, looking at Rin, that immediately grew irritated.

«Oi, you! I’m just proud of myself, ok?!»

«Yeah, sure… You’re the one to talk, after almost quitting twice.»

«Well, you’re not in the position to judge me either, I think! How long are you going to make me wait for you?»

«Not much,» Sousuke replied, shrugging. «The next year I’ll join Haru’s team.»

All the people at the table, except for Haru, Ai and Makoto, gave out a huge «WHAT?!».

«So they accepted you!» Gou replied, with a radiant smile.

«Yeah, I got the confirmation two days ago. As I told to Makoto, I was waiting for it, before making a fuss.»

«Between you and Haru, I don’t know who’s the worst,» Rin grumbled, crossing his arms and ignoring Haru, who was giving him a bad look.

«Then Haruka-senpai and Nitori-senpai will be your senpais too, now, right, Sousuke-senpai?!!» Momo exclaimed, making Haru and Sousuke get pale while Ai became completely confused, with everyone else bursting out laughing.

Makoto raised his head towards Haru, who stood up. «Where are you going?»

«Toilet,» Haru replied, trying to find a way through the chairs.

«Ah! I’m coming too!» Rin said, quickly following him.

«Too noisy…» Haru sighed, after the door closed behind them.

He wasn’t really needing the W.C., but just some quiet and some fresh water on his hands. His ears were almost ringing.

Rin laughed, putting his hands in his pockets. «But you’re having fun, aren’t you?»

«Whatever…» was the simple reply.

After waiting for Haru to dry his hands, Rin got closer, trying to kiss him, but Haru prevented him from doing so, putting a hand on his mouth.

«Oi! What if someone comes in?»

«We can hear them!»

«I don’t care.»

That said, Haru leaned to the wall and so did Rin, staying silent for some moments next to him.

«Rin…»

«Mh?»

«Do you think… we should tell them?»

«What?»

«What do you think?» Haru replied, sarcastically, glaring at him.

«Ah…»

Rin glanced away, scratching his cheek with a finger. That was still an unexplored topic. And no matter how much staying silent meant lying to their friends, telling them the truth was easier said than done.

«You tell it to Nagisa and Gou,» he said in the end.

«Ugh…» Just thinking about their possible reaction, Haru felt a chill down his spine. It was too dangerous. «B-but we’ll have to tell them, sooner or later.»

«Do you think I don’t know it?!» Rin blurted. Then he thought in silence for a few seconds. «What about Christmas? We have some more time to think about it.»

«Christmas is in a bit more than two months. And two months pass quickly.»

«Ugh… I… I’ll think about it, ok?!»

That said, Rin was about to open the door, but then he turned towards Haru again.

«You know? I’m glad you’re finally talking about _‘us’_ , now.»

«What?»

Ignoring his perplexed face, Rin planted a kiss on his lips, before going out.

«Idiot…» Haru grumbled, following him.

The party went on smoothly for a few hours, even after the restaurant closed. Only late at night, everyone finally went home.  
Once in his apartment, closing the door behind his back, Haru deeply sighed. Such a tiring day indeed. But he had fun, after all. Rin went back to the hotel he stayed at with his sister, but he was going to get together with everyone again the day after, to let them fetch him at the airport.  
He couldn’t even take a step away from the door that his phone buzzed. Looking at it, he saw a call from Rin.

«Oi, what-»

«I have just a few minutes, before Gou comes back to our room, so listen.»

«O-ok…»

«I know this sounds crazy, but…» Rin paused for some seconds, hesitating. «Would you… mind coming to Sydney one more time?»

«What?»

«Also, I'll be leaving Lori and Russell's place.»

«What?!»

«Well, the guy living with Steve went back to his country and so my friend asked me if I was interested in sharing the rent. I accepted.»

«That's… good, I guess. How did Lori and Russell reacted?»

«After all these years, they were a bit sad, of course, but we all knew I wasn't going to stay there forever,» Rin sighed. «I'll move out after the winter break.»

«And is this why you want me to come?»

«More or less.»

«But Rin, I'm not sure I can-»

«I'll pay.»

«Are you crazy?»

«I don't have to pay for my ticket, this time. Lori and Russell wanted to give me a goodbye gift no matter what. I tried to refuse, but they bought me the tickets for the flight to Japan and back anyway. I'll use the money I saved to pay yours.»

Haru listened, bewildered, to his words. «You are crazy nonetheless.»

«Oi, this way we can freely talk about how to tell the others the truth!»

«We can do it even from here!»

«And I want to stay with you,» Rin mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

«We can stay together after you come back.»

Listening to Rin's disgruntled silence, Haru sighed. Going there alone another time was something undoubtedly suspicious, since Sousuke knew half of the truth and Makoto was surely wondering something too, but maybe that was why Rin suggested to do so. He didn’t even know why they were hiding everything anymore and, despite that, it was so difficult to tell the others about them. He almost wanted to spit it out to Makoto once or twice, but he gave up before trying and the more that relationship was getting stable, the more it was difficult to talk about it. He wasn’t cut out for this kind of speech and Rin was probably going to get embarrassed and surrender before even saying a word. They were really hopeless.  
In the end, since Rin wasn't giving up, he accepted his offer, but only provided that he would pay half of the price, not everything. After all, after joining the national team, he could afford one more trip. He was meant to go to Australia no matter what, apparently.

As he predicted, that month or so before Christmas rapidly passed by and three days before December 25 th , he left for Sydney on Lori and Russell’s invitation. None of his friends knew about this trip. He only made a really short phone call to Makoto, to tell him he was going to Sydney to bring Rin back, without even giving him the time to reply. He was sure his friend was going to inform all the others, anyway, and being forced to turn off the cell phone during the flight was really convenient. In fact, he found a bunch of missed calls and texts once he arrived.

«Maybe we should just tell them without worrying,» Rin sighed, sinking into his bed.

«Should I text them?» Haru suggested, since he was still replying to Makoto’s messages, sat on the chair in front of Rin’s desk.

«Are you serious?» Rin raised his head, glaring at him. «That’s lame.»

«Then what do we do?»

«I have no clue,» Rin replied, getting up. «We don’t have many choices, after all.»

He turned off the light and then he saw Haru already climbing the stairs to his bed.

«Oi, are you going to sleep just like that?»

«What? Do you want a goodnight kiss or something?» Haru said, stopping halfway and turning, deadpan serious. «You’re not a little kid anymore.»

«Uh?!»

Rin stared at him, completely floored, before rapidly climbing the stairs as well, his face quite red.

«Oi! At least say goodnight!»

«Goodnight,» was Haru’s plain response.

Rin stared at the back of his head, sulking, then he leaned to the bed edge.

«Can I sleep here with you?»

«No,» was the grumpy reply.

«Why?! We already did it!»

«That time I was too sick to kick you down.»

«Oi…»

«And the bed is too small.»

«Stingy.»

«Shut up and sleep.»

Rin sighed with resignation. «And then I wonder why we haven’t told anything to anyone yet…»

That said, a bit embarrassed, he leaned forward, kissing the back of his boyfriend’s neck, giggling when he curled up even more, before going to bed.  
Only the morning after, Lori and Russell finally managed to welcome Haru. When he arrived there after getting fetched at the airport by Rin, they were sleeping already.

 _«I was surprised when I knew you were coming here so suddenly,_ » Lori said, while serving breakfast.

 _«I told you,»_ Rin replied. « _I called him here so that he could say hi and go on a short vacation before Christmas, and he couldn’t come earlier than this._ »

That wasn’t a complete lie, after all.

 _«That’s good, anyway,»_ Russell smiled. _«You won’t have to return to Japan by your own, Rin. Ah! By the way, Haru, I almost forgot to give you my compliments for joining the national team! At least in person…»_ he added, enthusiastic.

 _«Ah… Thank you…»_ Haru replied.

The man warmly smiled, turning towards Rin. « _You won’t be here for a while, in a few months, right?_ »

 _«Yep, I’m going to stay in Japan to start training with my new team._ »

 _«We’ll miss you, dear,»_ Lori said, sitting down.

Rin reassuringly smiled. « _Don’t worry! I’ll be back. I haven’t left my Australian team, after all._ »

Haru listened to all that in silence. Even if he was able to understand most of it, he still wasn’t able to take part to the conversation. In fact, when Lori turned towards him, he startled a bit.

 _«So, Haru, how do you feel, now that you’re in the national team? Are you proud?_ »

 _«Yeah. It’s… amazing._ »

The woman watched the guys in front of her, giggling. « _And who’s the fastest one, between you two?_ »

 _«I AM!_ » they replied, together, glaring at each other right after and making the spouses laugh.

 _«With this enthusiasm, you will be able to take part to the World Championship for sure,»_ Russell declared, taking a slice of bread. « _Deciding which country I’ll root for will be hard!_ »

His wife sighed, smiling. « _National team, uh? I can’t believe it. I still remember the first time you came here and now look at you, Rin. We really are proud._ »

Rin smiled as well, though a bit embarrassed. « _Thanks! I must thank you too, anyway. For always welcoming me here. You’re just like a second family to me. I'll pay you a visit every time I can!_ »

 _«Oh, stop saying such things or I will cry!_ » Lori said, chuckling, a bit touched.

 _«Let’s talk about something less weepy, then!_ » Russell exclaimed, putting a hand on her wife’s shoulder. « _Now that you boys are in the national team, girls will begin to run after you, won’t they?_ »

 _«Uh?_ »

Both Rin and Haru worryingly stared at the people in front of them. That topic was something completely unforeseen. And quite uncomfortable, considering their circumstances.

 _«It’s not like they’ll get famous immediately, dear,_ » Lori responded. « _And we know our Rin always thinks about nothing but swimming, right? I saw girls sticking to you, at school, but you always ignored them,»_ she added, with a disappointed expression. _«You’re a good-looking guy and I bet you’re quite popular. You shouldn’t be this shy._ »

 _«I’m not shy!!!_ » the person concerned replied.

Haru almost laughed and Rin punched him on a shoulder.

«You’re beginning to understand too much. Just forget everything about English.»

«Not going to happen,» Haru declared, taking his cup.

 _«And you, Haru?_ » Lori continued, making the boy startle so much that he almost spilled his coffee. _«You never told us if you have someone special in Japan._ »

Seeing the conversation was now focusing on Haru, Rin looked towards him again, panicking. It was true he couldn’t handle English almost at all, but he wasn’t able to understand if that was a good or a bad thing. He had always been pretty straightforward towards direct questions.  
Haru stared at the woman for a few seconds. What was he supposed to say, now? Since they were planning to tell the truth to everyone… were Lori and Russell part of that ‘everyone’? Trying to understand if he was allowed to talk, he turned towards Rin, who, however, immediately flinched, violently blushing.

«DON’T LOOK AT ME, YOU IDIOT!!», he shouted, using his mother tongue, gazing away and crossing his arms.

Haru sighed, guessing that was a ‘no’. Not that he wanted to tell them, either. He was just thinking that maybe Rin had enough trust in them.

 _«Rin, do you know something?_ » Lori asked, curious like a high school girl looking for gossips.

 _«I know absolutely nothing!!_ » the boy replied.

 _«You aren’t convincing…_ » Russell laughed.

Even Lori nodded. « _There’s no need to be shy, Haru! Come on, how is she like?_ »

Haru observed her, his mind in complete chaos. The few English words he could remember were slowly disappearing from his brain. Trying to get some help from Rin, he glanced at him again.

Rin noticed it and avoided his look, blessing the fact that his Australian parents couldn’t understand a word in Japanese. «Could you stop looking at _me_ whenever she mentions _girlfriends_?»

«Oi, that’s not what I meant!» Haru replied, finally getting the misunderstanding and looking in the opposite direction as well.

He was feeling his hosts’ perplexed look on them and that was just making things worse.  
Lori and Russell stared at his conflicted face and at Rin’s bright red one, while he was trying to get as far as possible from him. That silence was really vexing.

 _«Rin…_ »

 _«WHAT?!_ » Rin instinctively blurted, turning towards Lori while hoping his face couldn’t get redder than that.

She paused for a bit, taking a look at her husband, who did the same.

« _No, nothing…_ » she said, in the end, starting to eat.

They all tried to concentrate on their breakfast again, but the atmosphere was pretty awkward.  
Rin took a look at the woman in front of him with the corner of his eye. He was dying to know what she was about to ask and at the same time he didn’t want to hear it at all. Next to him, Haru was staying silent, not even looking around, but that could seem normal, after all. Maybe he worried for nothing.  
Starting to relax, he took his cup of coffee, but before drinking it, he accidentally met Lori’s eyes.

 _«W-what?_ » he asked again.

Just like Russell, she watched first him and then Haru, who immediately looked away another time.

 _«Uhm…_ » she mumbled. « _Could it be… that something happened between you too?_ »

 _«NO!! NOTHING HAPPENED!! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!_ » Rin shouted, without even thinking.

Immediately regretting that, he put a hand on his mouth, feeling his face burning even more than before.  
Even Haru, hearing what he said, looked towards him, then at Lori and Russell, shocked. Rin just had the worst possible reaction to that question. That idiot! His heart was beginning to race too. Just when he thought he was able to stay calm without any problem…  
Rin’s Australian parents were looking surprised and confused. After a few more seconds of extremely uncomfortable silence, Lori looked towards her husband, who shrugged, and finally they both smiled.

 _«You don’t even know what I was going to say,_ » the woman sighed. « _When I asked you if there was something going on, I was thinking about you two falling for the same girl, or something like that, but you’re forcing me to ask a different question, now._ »

 _«I-I don’t get it…_ » Rin replied, defenselessly, in one last attempt to save himself.

But Lori calmly leaned her chin to her hands, tenderly smiling. « _Do you need me to ask you?_ »

Rin turned towards Haru, who did the same. They were pretty freaked out, but there wasn’t much left to do.

 _«It’s not… necessary…_ » he mumbled, in the end, looking at the table.

Lori and Russell gave them some time, probably to let them digest that conversation. Rin could feel his heart beating like crazy and he was pretty sure that Haru was in the same conditions, but the truth being finally out was making him feel lighter already. They couldn’t know what the people in front of them were thinking, though, and, trying to understand it, he raised his head to look at Lori.  
When she saw his face, she sighed again.

 _«There’s nothing to be ashamed of, dear,_ » she sweetly said. « _Quite the contrary, I think it’s kind of cute!_ »

 _«Cu-?!_ » Hearing that word, Rin widened his eyes, blushing all over again.

 _«She’s right,»_ Russell added. « _I have to admit I couldn’t expect something like this, but I don’t dislike the idea of you two being a thing. Actually, considering how much you used to talk about him over all these years, I shouldn’t even be surprised!_ »

 _«WHAT?!_ » Rin shouted, his face on fire another time.

He looked at Haru: the last time a conversation like that took place, he couldn’t understand a thing, but, judging from his stupefied face, now he clearly figured out enough.

 _«Oi! It has nothing to do with that!!!_ »

Lori laughed and turned towards Haru. « _How did your friends react, when you told them?_ »

Haru shook his head. « _They… don’t know it._ »

The woman looked a bit let down. « _Why not? Is it something that happened recently?_ »

 _«N-no…»_ Rin replied. _«It’s been… more or less a year, by now._ »

 _«Then why keeping it a secret? Don’t you trust your friends?_ »

 _«It’s not… that. It’s just… it’s not something I’d openly talk about,»_ he continued, slowly overcoming the embarrassment, but still avoiding to look at other people. « _We were planning to tell them after getting back home, anyway._ »

 _«That’s good! I’m sure they won’t have anything against your relationship!_ » The woman reached Rin’s hand, looking towards Haru. « _Tell them, when you get back. Love is a wonderful thing, no matter who your partner is, and, since they all love you two as well, they will understand. Don’t worry too much!_ » she added, winking.

 _«Jeez, stop saying things like that!_ » Rin complained, finally hiding his red face on his arms crossed on the table.

Haru couldn’t help but smile. He was suddenly feeling relieved and surprised, realizing how much they worried for nothing. Was it really that easy or did they just find the right people to talk to? The only way to know it was telling the truth to everyone and it suddenly wasn’t looking so difficult anymore.  
The following afternoon, they left for the airport together with Lori and Russell, who fetched them there by car.

 _«Phone us, when you get back!_ » Russell said, watching them going out of the vehicle.

Rin cheerfully nodded. « _Rest assured!_ »

 _«You know?_ » Lori smiled, staring at them. « _The more I look at you, the more I think you make a good couple!_ »

 _«Stop it!!_ » Rin protested, blushing.

 _«Tell your friends!_ » Russell added, laughing. « _Or I’ll tell them myself!_ »

 _«I got it! I got it! Jeez…_ »

After taking one of Rin’s bags, Haru lightly bowed. « _Thanks for letting us stay… and… Merry Christmas,»_ he mumbled, a bit embarrassed as well.

The two spouses warmly smiled _. «Thanks! Merry Christmas to you and your friends too!_ »

Greeting them one last time, the two boys entered the airport hall.  
Rin looked at the time table showing the flights ready to leave and then at his watch, suddenly changing expression.

«Ugh!! Hurry up, Haru, or we’ll miss the check in!!»

«What?!» Haru replied, as shocked as him.

Without answering, Rin took his hand, starting to run.

«O-oi!!»

Haru tried to protest, but he immediately gave up. Even if he was able to see only Rin’s back, he could somehow feel him emitting happiness. A calm and relieved happiness. He perfectly knew how much of a burden falling in love with him had been for Rin, in the beginning, and that was one of the reasons he never told anyone about them. But now, even that problem was gone. He wasn’t able to predict their friends’ reaction, but if at first he was scared, now he was almost curious. He was pretty sure about one thing only: that Christmas was definitely going to be unforgettable, for all of them.


	14. Going with the flow

The flight took a bit longer than expected and by the time they arrived at Iwatobi town, it was late at night already. They texted their friends anyway, but only Sousuke, Nagisa and Momo replied. Haru took a quick look at Makoto’s room before climbing the stairs leading to his house. The lights were off and it wasn’t the case to wake him up just to tell him he was there.

«If you want to stay here, tomorrow morning you’ll help me to tidy up,» he grumbled, drying his hair with a towel on the doorstep of his room.

Rin was lying with open arms on his bed. He insisted to follow him and he couldn’t make him change his mind.

«Got it,» Rin replied, yawning.

«Don’t fall asleep there, or I won’t call you for dinner. It’s your turn for the bathroom.»

That said, Haru saw him raise his thumb and, sighing, he headed towards the kitchen. They spent half of the way back home talking about a way or some kind of speech to tell the truth to their friends. In the end, they concluded absolutely nothing and now he was too exhausted to think about what they were going to do.  
Opening the freezer, he noticed that his parents took care of supplies for him and his friends this time too. He couldn’t even remember when he spent Christmas together with his mom and dad for the last time, but that wasn’t a problem. Plus, when he told them about the national team, they reacted enthusiastically, telling him that they were finally going to globetrot together whenever he had a race somewhere outside of Japan. He was sincerely hoping that wasn’t going to be true, though the chances it was were pretty high.  
He put some fish filets on the grill in front of him, enjoying the sound coming from the sizzling griddle. Cooking dinner in the middle of the night wasn’t in his plans, but they were really hungry, after that long trip.  
Hearing some steps behind him, he saw Rin leaning his chin to his shoulder right after.

«Smells fishy…» he grumbled, looking at what Haru was cooking.

«Don’t complain or you won’t eat.»

«I’m starving. I would eat anything.»

Thinking that his cooking got slightly offended, Haru tried to glare at him, but feeling Rin’s arms around his waist, he looked down.

«Oi, what are you doing?»

«My hands are cold.»

«It’s not true.»

«Who cares. I’m sleepy.»

«You could have slept on the plane.»

«I did sleep.»

«You woke me up because you weren’t able to sleep. That’s different.»

«I was nervous.»

«Whatever. I have to cook and I can’t move, if you stay here.»

«You’re standing here too, now. What’s the problem?»

With another sigh, Haru surrendered. Rin had always been clingy, but lately he was even more and anyway protesting never made him give up. Not that he was particularly minding. He was used to it and, after all, his clinginess had a different vibe, now. He kept people at distance for his whole life, so he was still refusing to accept the fact he didn’t dislike having someone staying so close to him. However, he couldn’t deny how much Rin’s presence was making him feel at peace. After the race they had when they were children, after all those years he spent thinking of having hurt his feelings, knowing Rin was still there with him anyway – even if he was a pain in the neck, sometimes – always made him feel relieved. Maybe that was what triggered his decision to accept the relationship they were in now.  
While thinking that, Lori and Russell suddenly came to his mind: hearing someone else talking about _their relationship_ gave him a weird feeling, as if it really was something definitive, confirmed. Now that was a known fact. It wasn’t something they had to hide anymore. Once even their friends knew, they were free to officially be a couple, without pretending the contrary. That thought somehow made his heart jump. Why? Was he by any chance looking forward to it? No, there was no way it could be like that.

«Let me go. Dinner is ready,» he said, shaking Rin off.

Rin snorted, scratching his head and helping Haru with the rice. «You’re colder than your mackerel-filled freezer.»

«If you were looking for someone romantic, you chose the wrong person,» Haru replied, glaring at him.

Rin giggled. «I think I can stand it.»

That said, he headed towards the dining room with the rice bowls.  
Haru sighed with resignation, taking the remaining dishes, but then he smiled, following him. He really was bothersome. But he could stand it.  
Almost.

«Oi, I told you your futon is there! Go away from here!»

Just like the last time he stayed over, Rin slumped onto him on the bed. Now he was clinging to his body despite his attempts to make him let go.

«I’m tired,» Rin mumbled, his face buried in Haru’s shirt.

«That’s not an excuse! What if Makoto comes here tomorrow?!»

«We have to tell him anyway.»

«Oi…» Haru sighed, raising his head. «I know you’re not really thinking what you just said.»

As a response, Rin gave him a bad look.

«Whatever,» he grumbled.

Then he stared at Haru for some more seconds, before slowly drawing closer.  
When he kissed him, Haru wondered, resigned, if that was supposed to be another way to make him change his mind, but he let him be, kissing him back though maintaining some distance. Being more indulgent would have led to Rin being even more difficult to chase away.  
However, his partner gradually became more and more insistent, to the point it was almost hard to find some space to breath. At first, he didn’t mind that particularly passionate kiss. It was more… aggressive than usual, but also strangely pleasant, in some way. After a while, anyway, he started to find the fact he was still stuck under Rin a bit annoying. What was that idiot even doing? It was even beginning to feel a bit hot. Grabbing his shoulders, he made him stop.

«Oi…»

Rin, clearly disgruntled as well, looked at him. «What?»

His face was a bit red, despite his being angry. Ignoring it, Haru sighed.

«If you’re trying to convince me, it won’t work. You are not sleeping here, that’s it.»

His boyfriend looked even more conflicted.

«You’re hopeless,» Rin sighed, getting close to his face another time.

But Haru promptly put a hand on his mouth, a little confused by that answer. Now Rin’s behaviour was really beginning to feel uncomfortable.

«Oi! Did you hear what I said?! If you want something from me, say it. If not, let me sleep!»

Feeling his face warming up for some reason, he severely stared at him. Rin did the same, but as seconds passed, he frowned more and more and his face became redder and redder.

«I got it! I got it! I’m not sleeping here!» he shouted, in the end, apparently offended, quickly getting up to lay on the futon next to the bed, where he curled up.

Haru lifted on his elbows, staring at Rin’s back, perplexed. He couldn’t understand why he got so angry at all, but now he was a bit sorry for having pushed him away.

«O-oi…» he mumbled, tapping on his shoulder with a finger.

He stared at him for a few seconds. For a moment, he was tempted of letting him sleep on his bed anyway, but the fear of being found out won over his kindness. He was sure of being ready to tell everyone how things were, but now that there were just about fifteen hours left before their meeting, he was starting to feel reluctant again. He probably passed that feeling to his partner, because he was clearly nervous as well.  
When Rin turned, he held out a hand to him.

«Goodnight, Rin…»

«Goodnight,» the redhead whispered, taking and kissing his hand. «This might be a bit romantic, after all.»

«Shut up,» Haru grumbled, closing his eyes.

***

Making Rin sleep on the futon ended up being the right choice, because Makoto was actually the one who woke them up, the morning after.

«What time is it?» Rin mumbled, trying to keep his eyes open and focused on Makoto’s bright smile.

«Late,» Haru complained, looking at his clock.

Makoto laughed. «You got home pretty late, after all. Now I’m sorry I woke you up.»

«It doesn’t matter,» Haru bluntly said, getting up and stepping over Rin, quickly going out of the room despite the dark circles under his eyes. Getting up late when he had so many things to do was just too irritating.

Makoto and Rin stared at his figure disappearing behind the door and they looked at each other, a little bewildered. Then Makoto shrugged with a giggle.

«His cleanup mode is _ON_ , I guess…»

In fact, in a few hours, Haru’s house was sparkling again.

Rin glared towards his serious but extremely satisfied expression. «Enslaving us wasn’t in the plans.»

Makoto, next to him, was looking extremely tired.

«I told you my conditions, yesterday,» Haru replied, heading towards the kitchen. «Now the food.»

«What?! Oi, I’d like to be still alive, this evening!!» Rin shouted, running after him to protest.

But, by the time he went home and came back to Haru’s house with his sister and friends, he had changed his mind already, though for other reasons.

«I want to die…» he mumbled, going back to the kitchen after chatting for a while with everyone in the living room.

Haru was still busy cooking and, feeling Rin’s head against his back, he tried to push him away.

«Oi, I’m busy here.»

He perfectly knew what Rin was talking about, though, and he wasn’t feeling any better than him, on that matter.

«We… decided we must do it today,» he muttered, trying to sound confident but clearly failing.

Rin sighed. «Then how are we gonna do?»

A super cheerful Nagisa suddenly jumped on Rin’s shoulders, frightening him.

«Do what?!»

«Deciding how to kill you!» the redhead shouted, caught by surprise, trying to get rid of his friend.

Nagisa laughed, letting him go.

«Haru-chan, tell us what we can do! We want to help!»

Haru turned towards his enthusiastic expression. «I can manage to-»

«Pleeeeeeeeeeeease!!»

Haru’s eyebrows twitched. Till now, nothing and no one had ever been able to say ‘no’ to Nagisa. It was hopeless to even try. Behind him, also Makoto, Ai and Rei arrived to ask the same thing, and he had to surrender with a sigh.  
Soon, the dining table was ready and food preparation actually took quite less time.  
Watching Nagisa and Rei discussing over a pile of dishes, Haru smiled. It was nice to be all together again after all those months. The chaos in his living room was totally worth it.

«What are you smiling for?»

Rin went back to the kitchen with a grin, after his friends left the room. Closing the door, he put an arm around Haru’s shoulders, looking at what he was cooking.

«Nothing, really,» the blue eyed boy replied, ignoring his gesture and going on with what he was doing.

«Thought about something?»

«Not really.»

Rin sighed. «The hell… I don’t care anymore. I suggest we postpone all this.»

Haru avoided replying, but those words made him feel relieved. He couldn’t admit he was thinking the same. It was a bit shameful, but there was no way they could tell everything to their friends now. Keeping everything for themselves for some more time couldn’t hurt, right?  
Noticing that Rin was staring at him, he turned, a bit annoyed.

«What?»

Without answering, Rin leaned forward to kiss him, but Haru swiftly put a piece of fish in his mouth with his chopsticks. He suspected as much.

«The others are in the next room,» he whispered, implicitly telling him to stay away with one look.

Rin glared at him, upset, while munching, but as soon as he swallowed, he tried again.

«Are you even listening to me?!» Haru protested, putting a hand on his mouth.

Rin fought back, grabbing his wrist to be able to speak. «They’re not going to come here and we’d hear them in time, anyway!»

«I don’t care! And I have to cook!»

They exchanged a bad look while holding each other’s wrists.

Then Rin sighed, giving up. «You’re such a sourpuss…»

He leaned his arm on Haru’s shoulders again, letting him get busy with the stove.  
However, hearing no more words from Rin, after a while, Haru looked at him again, slightly worried he might have felt offended. But when he did, he saw him smirk, getting close to his mouth another time. He was barely able to think that just one kiss could do no harm.

«Sorry, Haruka-senpai, I just wanted to tell you I took a clean towel from-»

Rei unexpectedly entered the room from the door on the corridor and all the three of them instantly and literally froze, Haru with his chopsticks in midair, Rin with a hand behind his boyfriend’s head and his mouth just a few millimeters far from his lips, and Rei with one leg still raised, like a funny walking statue. Only the bubbling coming from the pots could be heard. No matter how many gods the couple begged for help while defencelessly staring at Rei’s quite shocked expression, there wasn't much left to misunderstand. After some seconds, Rei adjusted his glasses, while his face was getting as red as Rin’s, and politely but awkwardly bowed.

«I-I’m deeply sorry. I shall return to the living room, now. With your license…»

And he quickly did as he said.  
Rin and Haru stared at the door for a few moments, without even changing position.

«REI!!» they shouted, in the end, barging into the living room.

All their friends immediately turned towards them, perplexed by what just happened. Rei’s face was still pretty red and he was clearly refusing to look at them, sat next to Nagisa and stiff like a piece of wood.

«R-Rei…» Rin tried to speak, avoiding looking at everyone else, especially Sousuke. «I-I’m sorry, we-»

«I SAW NOTHING! YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY!» Rei solemnly shouted, drinking then from his glass, his hands shaking.

If it wasn’t for the context, the scene would have been considerably funny.  
More and more perplexed looks were pointing towards him or the two boys next to the kitchen door.

«What happened, Rei-chan?» Nagisa asked, continually trying to look at his friend’s face, who promptly turned away every time.

«NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,» Rei repeated, nervously sweating.

Rin sighed, finally looking at all his friends. They were waiting in silence. Even Sousuke apparently guessed nothing, judging by his interrogative expression. Or was he surprised? He hoped not, but there was no other choice anymore in any case.

«I was trying to say we were…»

And he stopped, feeling his face warming up.

«We were… going to tell you… that… we…»

Silence again.

«You?» his sister naively asked.

Rin turned towards Haru, that glanced away as soon as their eyes met. His face was slightly red too. He gave him a bad look, but he couldn’t blame him. His heart was beating terribly fast and Haru was way too nervous as well. However, the fact he was refusing to help was pissing him off quite a lot.  
Next to them, everyone was still waiting for an answer.

«Tell us what?» Nagisa insisted, more and more curious. «Ah! I know!!» he shouted, then, broadly smiling and scaring the hell out of his two friends. «You are going to take part to the Olympics!!»

«As if!!!» Rin shouted back, relieved by that wrong answer.

Makoto put a finger on his chin, thinking. «Then…» He suddenly looked worried. «Haru’s going to move to Australia to swim in your team?!»

«NOT BY A LONG SHOT!!»

Rin cursed the fact he blushed even more. Haru was still feigning ignorance behind him, pretty uselessly, since the fact he was intently looking towards a wall wasn’t hiding his tension at all.

«You’re going to pose as models!» Gou suggested.

«NO!»

Even Momo raised his hand. «You’re going to become stag-beetles hunters!!»

«ARE YOU DUMB?!»

«You’re going for synchronized swimming!» Nagisa tried again.

Soon, that turned into a sort of game to see who was able to guess what happened. Rin was thanking his friend’s extreme naivety, while shouting against everyone. Taking time till that subject was dropped: that was all he needed. After all, Rei said he wasn’t going to talk.  
He glared at his sister, who just insisted about them posing for a calendar.

«NO! STOP WITH THIS TOPIC, DAMMIT!»

«Then you’re dating.»

«WHAT???!!!»

Rin wasn’t the only one who screamed that and he wasn’t the only one who turned towards Sousuke with an astonished expression, after what he said. But, unlike his friends, he was also utterly shocked. How was he going to deny that?!! His best friend was quietly sitting at the table, almost bored, lazily checking his own nails, but when he turned, Rin’s face almost caught fire and the situation got even worse when all of his friends focused on the duo next to the kitchen as well. Panicking, Rin looked at Haru with the corner of his eye: he was still staring at the wall, but his whole being froze so much his eyes were barely blinking and he was hardly breathing. Hoping that Haru, at least, could stay cool ended up being useless.

«I-it’s not that…» he mumbled, stepping back with a nervous smile. «How could you even think such a stupid thing, Sousuke?»

He couldn’t decide between punching his friend or thanking him later, and so he just laughed idiotically. If only he hadn’t told him about his feelings!  
He turned towards Haru again.

_Don’t look at Makoto. Don’t you dare to look at Makoto!_

That was the main danger, in that moment, considering how Makoto was a real mind reader, when it came to Haru. Rin kept checking the two friends, while cursing that unpleasant silence. He wasn’t able to think of a way to escape from that situation and Haru was probably going to surrender to the curious expression on Makoto’s face pretty soon.  
In fact, Haru was feeling his friend’s gaze on him and the more he was sure Makoto was going to get the truth, the more his face was getting stiff. The will to check if he was actually staring at him, however, won. He watched him with the corner of his eye and he couldn’t help avoiding his gaze immediately after that. But it was definitely a mistake. His lips slightly trembling, he felt his cheeks finally going on fire.

«E-eh? T-then this is true?!» Makoto mumbled, blushing at least as much as them.

Rin immediately turned towards Haru, completely freaked out. He could swear he never saw Haru’s face become that red. He took a quick look at his friends another time, then at Haru again.

«OUR DINNER IS BURNING!» he finally shouted, grabbing Haru by an arm and dragging him to the kitchen, shutting the door.

But as soon as they entered that room, almost all their friends barged in there too.

«Is this for real, Rin-chan?!!» Nagisa exclaimed, assaulting them.

Gou’s eyes were sparkling with joy as much as his. «I can’t believe it, onii-chan!!»

The poor couple was helplessly staring at their friends, pressed in that messy mob, while everyone kept asking a ton of different questions. That wasn’t exactly the reaction they were expecting, but…

«I GET IT! I GET IT!! JUST LET US PREPARE DINNER! THEN WE’LL TALK!» Rin exclaimed, in the end.

Managing to keep everyone quiet with some food, they were able to finally eat dinner in peace. More or less.

«Maybe it is a bit strange,» Makoto said, gently smiling, after Nagisa asked for his opinion. «I mean… It’ll take a while to get used to it, but… I’m really happy about this!»

Even Sousuke giggled. «Now a lot of things make more sense!»

Rin glared at his friend, referring to Makoto. «You told him.»

«I didn’t.»

«Wait, you knew?!» Gou exclaimed, bewildered.

Sousuke calmly shrugged. «I only knew about Rin’s little crush,» he answered, ignoring Rin’s kill-yourself gaze on him. «I thought Makoto could know something as well about Haru, that’s why I asked him if something happened between you two.»

«But I knew nothing till now,» Makoto replied, smiling at Haru, who looked away with a bit guilty expression on his face. «Since both of you were acting strange, last year, we talked about it because we were worried. I must admit that something like this crossed my mind, but I discarded the idea and never considered it for real. I never knew about Rin either. Anyway, we know you two well enough to understand there was something big going on.»

«Not really,» Rin replied. Lately, he was actually starting to wonder how Sousuke hadn’t understood everything already.

Nagisa decided it was his turn to attack. «Then? Then? Come on, tell us!»

Rin tried to ignore his cheerfulness. Though he managed to avoid sitting next to Haru ending up between his sister and Sousuke, Haru was still sitting in front of him, between Makoto and Rei, and his red face wasn’t helping him to chill down, even if they were determined to avoid looking at each other. Right now, his boyfriend was pretending to be extremely concentrated on his dinner.

«What do I even have to tell you?»

«Well, when it started, at least,» Gou replied, not knowing if she wanted to scold his brother or feel extremely pleased.

Rin felt cold sweat running down his face. She began from the worst possible question. But the truth was the truth.

«D-during winter holidays, last year… I think…» he mumbled, trying to hide his face behind the rice bowl.

His sister couldn’t avoid squealing and a big mess filled the room all over again.

«Why haven’t you told us?» Makoto asked, once there was enough calm to speak.

Rin felt relieved by his smile. Apparently, no one was particularly offended by the fact they hid the truth from them for so long.

«We…»

He tried to say something, but he wasn’t sure which words he could use.

«We were…»

He stopped again. Admitting they were scared of a possible bad reaction was hard. What could he tell them?

«We waited because I wasn’t sure about this.»

Hearing Haru’s calm voice, Rin looked at him, widening his eyes. He wasn’t expecting him to speak, and so quietly, all the more. Even his words were unpredicted.

Rei kindly smiled. «Then this means you are, now, don’t you?»

That question destroyed Haru’s calmness in an instant.

«T-that’s not what I said,» he muttered, turning towards the little refuge represented by Makoto’s shirt.

«But…» Nagisa was clearly thinking about something and he leaned towards Rei. «You still haven’t told us what you saw earlier.»

Hearing those words, Rei, Rin and Haru’s face got red another time.

«If this is how things stand,» Nagisa continued. «Then what you saw must be…!»

«I know!! I know!!» Momo shouted, raising his hand. Then he probably realized what he was going to say, because he looked embarrassed as well, like Ai and Makoto next to him.

Gou, instead, started clapping her hands in excitement, letting out a little scream. «I can’t believe you kissed!!!»

«WE DIDN’T!!» Rin shouted.

«Yeah, actually they didn’t,» Rei added, adjusting his glasses and blushing a little bit more. «I probably… interrupted them.»

Rin glared at him. «Rei, you traitor!»

Refusing to say anything else, he started eating again, but troubles weren’t over yet. After some laughter, Nagisa insisted further, with an innocent smile.

«So? Kisses aside, how far did you get?»

At that question, Rin, who was drinking his soup, almost spit everything, while his face became redder than his hair. Instead, Haru went completely pale, freezing with his chopsticks and his bowl in midair, clearly taken aback by such a question. Makoto and Ai blushed as much as Rin, Momo was almost as curious as Nagisa, not to count Gou, that was screaming even more, while Sousuke, who was seriously torn between laughing and saving his best friend from choking, ended up doing both.

«You can’t ask this kind of things!!» Rei shouted, shocked, scolding his friend, who just giggled.

Haru‘s face was still pretty colorless, while he put his food on the table, refusing to eat anything more and staring at his own legs as if he just saw a ghost.

«OI!!» Rin exclaimed, giving him a furious and extremely embarrassed look, after he finally regained the capability to breath thanks to the glass of water Sousuke gave him. «AND DON’T IMAGINE THINGS!!» he shouted, at his sister, who was staring at the ceiling with dreamy eyes.

At that scene, everyone burst out laughing again, with the poor Rin uselessly telling them to stop and Haru still completely shocked in front of him.  
In the end, they just worried for nothing another time – though they were probably right about not wanting to tell everything to Gou and Nagisa. Without going into details – and bickering a lot – they briefly told everyone how they ended up dating and, just as Lori said, all their friends were really happy to hear their circumstances.

«Just don’t tell anyone. We’ll take care of that,» Rin said, while putting on his coat and preparing to leave like everyone else.

«Just like you did with us?» Sousuke smirked.

Rin hit him as a reply.

«Then goodnight, Haruka-senpai,» Ai politely said, bowing. «Thanks for letting us stay!»

Haru simply smiled, accompanying his friends to the door. «Goodnight, everyone.»

Nagisa approached him. «Haru-chan, you forgot something.»

The blue-eyed boy gave him an interrogative look. «What?»

«Isn’t it obvious?» Nagisa showed him a sly grin. «A goodnight kiss!!!»

Shouting that, he and Gou suddenly pushed their friend towards Rin, who got pushed as well by Momo and Rei, but the two boys reacted soon enough, placing a hand on the respective faces and aggressively glaring at each other, trying to resist.

«Stay away from me!!» Rin shouted.

«I was going to say the same thing!!» was Haru’s reply.

«Aaaah! It’s not fair!!!» Momo complained.

Nagisa nodded. «Boyfriends are supposed to kiss!»

Even Gou was looking disappointed. «Are you sure you’re dating?»

«Shut up!!» Rin protested, blushing and heading for the door.

«But I want to see you kiss!!» Nagisa insisted.

«Forget it!!»

Makoto laughed, looking at the little fight going on outside, and then he turned towards Haru, noticing he was smiling as well.

«I’m really happy for you and Rin, Haru-chan.»

The smile suddenly disappeared from his friend’s face, that quickly gazed at him, before looking away, embarrassed.

«Drop the -chan.»

«Ahah! Yeah, yeah… Are you going to Tokyo, tomorrow, then?»

Haru walked Makoto to the door, lightly sighing. «Yes, there are the last planned trainings with the national team. Then we’ll get a short break till the end of the year.»

«That’s good! I can’t believe you might even take part to the World Championship, the next year.»

«Neither can we, probably.»

«Are you feeling nervous?»

«Not really…» Haru answered, observing Rin, who was still discussing with Nagisa, Rei and Momo.

Makoto noticed it and tenderly smiled again, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder before going out.

«See you tomorrow, then!»

«Makoto...»

Hearing his name, the boy turned.  
Haru observed him for a moment, looking then at the pavement.

«I'm sorry I haven't told you before.»

Makoto blinked, surprised, but then he tenderly smiled. «Don't worry about it. It must have been though for you.»

«You can say that,» Haru grumbled, irritated.

His green-eyed friend giggled, amused. «You must really love him.»

Haru looked really caught off guard and then very uneasy right after.

«Shut up. I don't,» he muttered, making Makoto laugh again.

He watched him join the others, who were waiting for him to go home. Makoto was right: it really was a dream coming true. Thinking about it now, he wondered how he could feel so uncertain, when he was in high school. So many things happened and maybe he really became ordinary, after hitting his twenties, but he wanted to prove his ‘ordinary’ worth, especially for his friends, that were a big part of the reasons he was able to get where he was now. Seeing Rin turn and wave at him with a smile, he did the same. He wasn’t alone, on that path. And he was never going to be.

Starting from the morning after Christmas till a few days later, he had to go to Tokyo with Makoto because of work and trainings. During the winter break, Sousuke’s father’s restaurant was quite busy, but luckily the owner said he was going to close before New Year’s Eve because the business was going well enough and he needed a couple days of relax too. That was absolutely perfect. Not being able to stay with their friends living in Iwatobi during that short winter break would have been a pity. He was missing his home too and staying there was really pleasant, once in a while. Rin didn’t have a place to stay at in Tokyo, but spending a little time with his family was another reason he stayed in Iwatobi for, after all. He was contacting Haru and Makoto anyway every day, mostly boasting about all the time he was able to spend swimming and practicing, though complaining about coach Sasabe’s strictness. The question about him having to stay in Tokyo for a while in Spring was raised by Sousuke during a chat. Nobody really thought about it. After coming back home right before the end of the year, Makoto stayed over at Haru’s place for the night, Rin followed, and the three of them ended up talking exactly about that topic.

«Why don’t you live at Sousuke’s place?» Makoto suggested, helping Rin to take out a futon. «I think he wouldn’t mind.»

«He told me so too,» was his friend’s reply.

«You don’t look really convinced.»

Rin scratched his head, standing up again. «I just don’t like the idea of staying there for free, especially now that all of you have a job.»

«Then work for Sousuke’s father in exchange of accommodation.»

Rin was looking even more conflicted.

«But… there’re already too many people. I don’t think he needs another worker.»

«I was thinking about finding another job closer to my college,» Haru stepped in, putting down another futon. «If I manage to, Sousuke can go back to the kitchen and you could take his place as a waiter.»

«Yeah, and when I’ll go back to Australia?!»

«Then someone else will take your place.» He took a short break, giving him his back. «And it’s not like there are other places you could stay at.»

«Yeah, but…»

Makoto smiled, observing a more and more torn Rin, now rubbing his neck while staring at the floor. Perhaps the real problem was another one.

«If you two want to live together, I think you should do it,» he calmly said, seeing both his friends flinch.

Haru gave him a bad look. «Not a chance.»

But Makoto stared back, innocently shrugging. «Well, why not? You’d even get to cut the expenses in half.»

«Forget it! My apartment is too small!» Haru protested, suddenly glaring at Rin, who angrily answered back.

«Who the hell said I wanna live at your place?!»

«You were going to say it for sure!»

«What?! I think you were the one thinking about it, instead!»

«Not by a long shot! Anyway, the landlady wouldn’t let you stay!»

«So you did think about it!!»

«Look who’s talking!!»

«Calm down, you two!» Makoto blocked them, with an amused smile. «The only way to know is to ask her, don’t you think?»

«That’s not the point!!» his friends replied, in unison, glaring at him, their cheeks turning pink.

Makoto laughed. After all, despite their words, the only trouble was exactly their embarrassment.

«As you wish,» he sighed. «Tomorrow we’ll help you as we did before Christmas, Haru, ok?»

«There’s not much that should be taken care of, this time. Do as you please,» Haru replied. Then he turned towards Rin. «Are you sure you don’t want to spend the Eve with your mom?»

Rin nodded, shrugging and sitting on Haru’s bed. «I asked her, but she said we can go. She invited some friends over for dinner too. Don’t worry about it.»

«Does she visit Sydney, sometimes?» Makoto asked.

«Not during the past few years, but since now I will be training both in Japan and in Australia, there won’t be any problem.»

«That’s good!»

The green-eyed boy smiled, but then he looked at his friends, a bit doubtful.

«Are you sure I can stay here too, tonight? I mean… if you wanted to spend some time together… We all have been around since the day you came back here,» he added, looking a bit sorry.

Rin lightly blushed, looking at a wall and crossing his arms. «We’ll have plenty of time to stay together in the future,» he grumbled. «Gosh, having you all worrying about leaving us alone was the only thing I didn’t want to happen. When I said that nothing changed, it’s because I don’t want anything to change, dammit.»

Both Makoto and Haru stared at him, a bit surprised, but then they smiled.

«I get it,» Makoto replied. «But I guess that, since it’s my turn for the bathroom, I’ll leave you alone anyway,» he giggled then.

As an answer, Rin threw Haru’s pillow at him.

After Makoto went out, Haru sighed, leaning to his desk. «Things _are_ changed. There’s no point in denying it.»

«I know that!» Rin bluntly replied, putting the pillow back at its place and sitting on the bed again. «I just want everyone to feel at ease. Including… us, I guess.»

«I feel at ease.»

«If you did, you wouldn’t stay that far away.»

Haru started a bit, averting his eyes from Rin. He undoubtedly got a point. Sometimes, he hated the way he and Makoto could easily read him even when he himself wasn’t aware of his own attitude. Now he was supposed to sit next to Rin, maybe, but be it for a weird embarrassment, be it for the fact that everything was always a question of pride, between them, he remained still. Though he actually wanted to get closer – and he found himself surprised by that thought every time – he didn’t want to give him that satisfaction, but maybe it was just a poor excuse to stay where he was now, far from troubling feelings.  
Rin probably noticed it, because he leaned forward, grabbing his shirt.

«Just come here, you idiot!»

That said, he pulled Haru towards him, so forcefully that he couldn’t even react, just finding himself in Rin’s embrace. He was still standing, with his hands on the bed to avoid falling over Rin, who was now clinging to his chest. At first, he just widened his eyes in surprise. He really was clumsy, in matters of feelings. Even after so much time, he wasn’t used to Rin’s need to stay close to him. And that wasn’t exactly a one way feeling.  
Slowly relaxing, he kneeled on the bed, almost sitting on Rin’s legs, and he hugged him as well, resting his head on his shoulder. He could feel Rin’s heartbeat against his chest. It was soothing. Too much. That was what he was fearing the most. He didn’t want to get addicted to that sense of closeness, to that warmth, to that scent, but it was probably too late already.

«You’re heavy,» Rin suddenly said, making him realize he actually sat on his legs, in the end. «And you smell of chlorine even if you showered.»

«So do you,» Haru bluntly replied, while his face warmed up a bit.

He tried to stand, but Rin blocked him.

«Oi, weren’t you complaining, a moment ago?» he protested.

Rin sighed. «That doesn’t mean you should move from here.»

That said, he pulled his head towards him, lightly kissing his lips.

«Idiot,» Haru said, glaring at him.

But Rin just giggled, kissing him again. This time, Haru closed his eyes, enjoying that soft feeling. As long as Rin was the one starting things, he was able to respond. A part of him was thinking that was a bit unfair, but Rin never complained about it. Not that he was waiting for him to take the initiative. He just wasn't used to... invade personal space out of his own will, probably, something that Rin always did with anyone too easily. Besides, most of the time they spent together during the last year was spent in front of a PC or by phone. Now that he was able to stay with the real deal as much as he wanted, he almost didn't know what to do. Anyway, he didn’t mind the kiss becoming a bit more passionate at all. Rather, he slowly let himself flow in that pleasant sensation, responding just as much or even more, because every kiss was just never enough. Something was warning him that he was gradually losing control, but only when he felt Rin’s hands accidentally - or not - sliding under his shirt on his back, he immediately came back to reality, pushing him away and standing up.

«I… heard Makoto coming back,» he promptly lied, despite his heart literally bouncing inside his chest and his face burning.

What ran through his body a few seconds before was another sensation he’d have preferred not to get. He almost got lost in its heat and it felt… dangerous. What Nagisa “naively” asked during Christmas opened a door on… unforeseen possibilities. He never contemplated such a thing. The chance he could get involved into _that_ type of physical relationship with Rin never even crossed his mind. What about Rin, then? Did he kiss him in that alluring way on purpose or not? Was he testing the waters? The idea was suddenly disturbing and he didn’t know if he was supposed to believe Rin’s perplexed and innocent expression. Was he just playing around, with no particular intentions? And why was he even worrying?!  
They were both silent, now, and even Rin was looking a bit more embarrassed than before. The air was so tense that Haru really had to thank the fact that Makoto actually entered the room in that moment.

«Uh? Are you still there, Haru?» he asked, seeing his friend standing by the desk like before.

Haru blushed even more, glancing away. «Where was I supposed to be?»

Makoto stared at him first, then he watched Rin, whose face got immediately red too.

«Uh… did I interrupt some-»

«Just go to bed, both of you!!!» Rin shouted, throwing them their pillows and rushing to turn off the light.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, they are two huge dorks.


	15. Reflection

«In the end, you managed to come, Sousuke!» Makoto smiled, opening the door for his friend, who just arrived with Momo and Ai.

«Yeah,» the black-haired replied, letting out one last white breath in the cold air, before going in. «My family went on a little vacation.»

«They really were tired, uh?»

«Yeah, especially since their best chef almost quit his job there,» Sousuke added, raising his voice as soon as he walked in front of the kitchen, where Haru and Rin were cooking.

«It’s rare for you to congratulate me,» Haru replied, just as sarcastically, without even turning.

Rin burst out laughing when he saw Sousuke’s floored expression and that reaction cost him to be forced to sit next to Haru during dinner. With all the due consequences.

«Let’s have a toast for our national team members!!» Nagisa shouted, raising his glass of orange juice while hugging his friends so that they ended up being stuck to each other.

Even Haru was glaring both at Makoto and Sousuke in front of them, who exchanged places on purpose and now were trying not to laugh at their hateful yet resigned expressions.

«May they take part to the World Championship!» Ai added, cheerfully.

Gou enthusiastically raised her glass too. «And be happy together!!»

«Oi, cut it out!» Rin protested, giving up to Nagisa, who was enjoying the fact he managed to make them stay so close, putting his head between theirs with a big smile.

«Are we going to see the fireworks, after dinner?» Momo asked, eager to get an affirmative answer.

Rei nodded. «Of course we will! Just… let’s get there in time, this year,» he added, painfully thinking about the way they arrived at the terrace the year before.

«I agree,» Makoto sighed, before smiling and looking at all his friends around the table. «So, what will your purposes for the new year be? I’m curious to hear them!»

«I want to say it! I want to say it!» Momo exclaimed, waving his hands. «I want to go out w-»

«NO,» Rin promptly said, anticipating what Momo was probably going to say about his sister and cursing him with one look.

The boy blew his cheeks, disappointed, but then he smiled again. «Then I want to become a better swimmer than my brother!»

«Now that’s something,» Rin commented, grinning, remembering how powerful his former captain was.

Even Ai put on a determined look. «I want to get better and better, so that I will be worthy of swimming with my fastest teammates!»

«Since you’re at it, why not aiming higher?» Sousuke asked, smiling and looking at Rin. «For example, I want to join the National Team with you two.»

«And you will!» Rin replied, with a smirk, giving him a high-five.

«And you, Mako-chan?» Nagisa eagerly asked.

«Me? Mmmh…» Makoto thought about an answer for some seconds, then he kindly smiled again. «I just want to keep teaching. Maybe someday I’ll come back here and take charge of the Iwatobi Swim Club.»

«That would be awesome, Makoto-senpai!» Gou commented. «As for me, I’m studying to become a journalist, then maybe I’ll follow you around during swimming events!»

«You’re thinking about taking pictures, aren’t you?» Rin asked, resigned.

His sister stuck out her tongue with a little sly smile.

«As for me, I like the college I’m in now and I just want to do my best!» Rei declared, clenching a fist.

«Same here!» Nagisa exclaimed. «I’m really having fun!»

«Then I guess it’s my turn,» Rin said, crossing his arms on his head. «Well, I don’t have many wishes left, by now, but I guess that taking part to the World Championship and winning some medals could be a nice starting point. Your turn, Haru.»

«Uh?»

Haru looked at Rin, a bit lost, then he turned towards the table, intently thinking. He had never been good at setting goals in his life and he never had a clear target in mind, not even now that he was going to swim for his own country. Choosing what to say was really bothersome, but his friends were all waiting, curious to know the answer.

«I…» he started. «As long as I can swim…» He heard Rin sigh next to him, when he said that, but he went on. «… and… as long as you all are here with me, anything is… fine,» he concluded, looking down embarrassed.

He stayed like that for a few seconds, but hearing only silence, he looked around, perplexed. Everyone was staring at him, really surprised, without knowing what to say, reacting only when Rin grabbed Haru’s neck with an arm, playfully messing with his hair.

«You idiot! Why the hell do you always have to say such things?!» the redhead protested, making everyone laugh.

Half-an-hour before midnight, they quietly left for the beach, chatting together.

«Waaaah! It’s crowded!!» Nagisa exclaimed, smiling and looking at all the people gathered there like every year.

Even in the cold winter air, the sea in Iwatobi was always looking beautiful. Some fishermen put some lanterns on the water from their boats, making the surface glitter like a jewel.

Gou nervously looked around. «There’s no way I’ll find Chigusa here and the phone line isn’t working! Can you see her, Sousuke?»

«No,» the tall boy replied. «Let’s just go on the terrace, then. Maybe she’s there waiting for fireworks too.»

They climbed the stairs, looking around for a while.

«Are you sure she’s here?» Rin asked, since they found no one.

Gou looked disappointed. «I am! There’re just so many people that-»

«Ah! They’re starting!!» Ai exclaimed, hearing the countdown begin all around them.

Everyone ran towards the fence to get the best view, even if it was already impossible, in that crowd.  
Haru was about to go there too, but, feeling someone grabbing his coat to stop him, he turned towards Rin, who simply smiled, putting the hands back in his pockets. He was being clingy again, but he didn’t mind, and he stood there beside him, next to the trees lining the back of the terrace. He heard him let out an astonished shout as soon as the fireworks got launched into the sky and, turning, he saw his childish smile while he was looking up. He instinctively giggled by himself: he was no different from when they were children, not at all.  
Looking up at the colourful night sky, he sighed, amused. Wanting to watch the fireworks together was something really Rin-like.

«You’re still going on with romantic stuff!» he shouted.

But even if he raised his voice to be heard in all those blows, Rin put a hand next to his ear, showing him he couldn’t get what he said. Haru sighed again, taking a look at their friends enjoying the fireworks a bit further. Rin was still waiting, but he wasn’t feeling like repeating himself anymore. Lifting a bit to cover their little height difference, he lightly kissed his lips.

«I said ‘Happy New Year’,» he whispered, in a moment of silence, before turning towards the sky again.

Rin stood there, without saying a word, completely dumbfounded. For a moment, he didn’t even hear the fireworks exploding above their heads. That was absolutely the first time Haru kissed him like that, of his own initiative, out of no particular circumstances. Considering their relationship began almost like a one-way love, he had already surrendered to the fact he couldn’t expect anything from him, at least not after a year of long-distance relationship, but his judgment over Haru’s real feelings might have been really wrong again, after all.  
Haru noticed Rin was still looking at him. He knew that what he just did was going to surprise him, but he was starting to feel uneasy anyway. He opened his mouth to tell him to stop staring, but Rin suddenly hugged him, kissing him again and embracing him so unexpectedly that, if it wasn’t for him holding his back, he would have fallen down. Literally bent backwards, buried in Rin’s coat and too surprised to return his kiss to him, he heard him laugh on his lips.

«I love you, Haru!» he shouted, in his ear, cheerfully smiling and embracing him tightly.

Finally hearing those words with his own ears, Haru felt his heart flutter, while his eyes widened in surprise, but then he tenderly smiled, hugging him back.

«I know,» he answered, letting Rin kiss him another time.

Only in that moment Makoto noticed they were missing, but knowing they were probably behind them, he turned.

«Haru! Rin! Isn’t this wond- O-o-oi…!!»

Seeing his friends in such an intimate moment, he immediately blushed and, noticing his surprise and embarrassment, the others looked back too, getting more or less the same reaction, but running towards the couple right after.

«Yay! Now that’s a kiss!!» Nagisa exclaimed.

Gou was almost crying, clearly overly excited. «You two are so cute, onii-chan!!»

«Stop calling us cute!» Rin replied, incapable of hiding his happiness, while their friends were surrounding them.

Completely unconcerned about everyone watching them, he kept kissing Haru on his cheeks or his head, without letting him go, laughing and trying to insult their friends for their funny comments. Even Haru laughed, once or twice, and that was another quite rare event. They remained close to each other, with their friends all around them, at least till the fireworks show ended. Then they finally found Chigusa thanks to Sousuke’s height, and Gou left with her, not before hugging her brother, with her friend uselessly asking her what happened.

«Aaaah, I wanted a hug from Gou-san too!» Momo complained, disappointed.

Rin punched his head. «Forget it!»

«I will hug you, Momo-chan!» Nagisa exclaimed, grabbing both him and Ai while walking, and managing to take even Rei’s hand, whose complaints made everyone laugh again.

«Shall we head back, then?» Makoto asked with a smile.

Before reaching Haru’s place, Momo and Ai went back to the station and, by the time the group arrived at Makoto’s house, only him, Sousuke, Haru and Rin were left.

«I was hoping they could stay over too,» Rin complained, referring to his former teammates and to Rei and Nagisa, who went home some minutes earlier. «Spending the night together would have been funny.»

«You’ll have to make do with us,» Makoto smiled, while climbing the stairs leading to Haru’s home.

«Ugh, I’m tired!» Rin stretched his arms, leaving his shoes by the entry door after Haru opened it.

«What are you doing there?» Haru asked, observing Makoto and Sousuke, who were still standing outside, a bit hesitant.

Makoto shrugged, smiling. «We were thinking that, since everyone left, there’s no point in us staying over with you two.»

«What?!» the couple exclaimed, in unison.

Rin looked uneasy. «Oi, I already told you that this is not necess-»

«We’re letting you have some privacy,» Sousuke said, pointing then a thumb towards Makoto. «I’m sleeping at his place, don’t worry.»

«Who’s worrying?!» Rin replied, irritated.

Makoto showed them a bright smile. «Then it’s settled! Goodnight!»

«O-oi!» Haru tried to stop him, but he and Sousuke were already going back, waving at them one last time.

Behind him, Rin sighed. «Let them go. We’ll call them for breakfast tomorrow morning.»

«I guess so…»

And following a yawning Rin, he headed towards his bedroom, plopping on his bed once there.

«Oi, Haru…»

«Mmh?» he mumbled, staring at the ceiling with his arms wide open.

«I’m glad about what you did before.»

«What?»

Hearing Rin’s slightly embarrassed voice, this time he raised his head, looking at his partner, who was leaning against his wardrobe. Getting what he meant, he blushed a bit, turning back to the white wall above him.

«It was nothing special.»

«It was,» Rin replied, sounding a bit offended. «Gosh, you never even kissed me before.»

«You simply were the one doing it first.»

«And you still haven’t told me about your feelings,» Rin added, going towards the bed and leaning on Haru, at first serious, then with a sly grin. «Say it.»

«What am I supposed to say?» Haru protested, glaring at Rin’s smile in front of his face.

«You perfectly know what I want to hear.»

«I don’t know what you’re talking about.»

Seeing him blush and look away, Rin sweetly smiled. «I don’t care that much, after all.»

That said, he kissed his cheek and, when Haru turned, even his lips.  
Haru quietly let him do it, without minding the increasing passion Rin was putting into his gesture, kissing him back just as much. Hearing him letting out his feelings left a weird and warm sensation in his heart. He wanted to give some of it back to him, but he wasn’t able to use words with the same ease as Rin. Actions were probably eloquent enough, anyway.  
Rushing to catch Rin's lips again every time he took too long to come back, he raised an arm. Caught in that heated exchange, he reached for him and he was about to bring a hand behind Rin’s head, when he stopped it on his shoulder, almost waking from a dream, as soon as he realized the situation he was in. Rin had just let go of his mouth, going down to his neck with the same intensity.

«Oi, that tickles,» he protested, when his boyfriend reached his left ear.

«That tickles?» Rin repeated, a bit annoyed.

Haru stared at his eyes without replying. He didn’t want to stop him, but there was no way to deny he was actually worried about what could happen if he let Rin have his way. He was a bit ashamed by that thought, though. What was he even scared about? That stuff was supposed to be normal, for a couple, right? Not to count it might have been the last thing on Rin’s mind, as far as he knew. He wasn’t even able to think about it openly. He wasn't ready for such a thing, not even one bit. Feeling his face warming up, he forced Rin to move, standing.

«I’m taking a bath,» he just said, quickly choosing some clean clothes.

«Alright,» Rin replied, with what sounded like a vaguely disheartened groan, laying down on his bed.

While filling the bathtub with hot water, Haru deeply sighed. Was Rin even thinking about things like that? Lately, he was actually looking at him in a strange way and he was even more affectionate than usual, but he couldn't picture a caring romantic like him wanting for more just like that, without even wondering if he was ok with it. Plus, he was still thinking he was being influenced by his own little paranoia. His boyfriend seemed to act completely innocent and naïve, after all. Maybe he was the only one worrying and being silly.  
Especially after the last period, anyway, with Rin growing closer and closer to him, he had to acknowledge that there was going to be more than just hugs and kisses, in a relationship, but he never dared to ask Rin what he thought about that topic and Rin never talked about it either. Out of curiosity, he even did some research about how things were to be done, though the most of it was quite obvious. What he found didn’t even faze him too much, at least as long as he avoided imagining it from a personal point of view. Doing it... with Rin. Just thinking about it was crazy. What if that was what Rin wanted? He had no clue about what to do in that case. For that reason, the atmosphere was a bit uncomfortable, now. As he realized they were going to spend the night completely alone, he started losing his calm. He stopped Rin a few moments earlier because he felt concerned for his own rationality. He wanted to think clearly about it. Why was he that terrified of being carried away? Wasn’t he trusting Rin enough?  
As soon as he thought that, he heard the door open behind him.

«W-what are you doing here?»

A bit puzzled and a bit more troubled, he saw Rin coming in, closing the door again.

«I’m taking a bath with you,» he quietly replied, unbuttoning his shirt. «Staying in your room is boring.»

«What?!» That was definitely suspicious. «That’s not going to happen! Go out, you idiot!»

Saying that, Haru pushed Rin towards the door.

«What are you being shy for, now?!!» Rin protested, fighting back and trying to make him take off his pullover. «I saw you naked hundreds of times, you moron!»

«That’s not the p-! Oi!»

Haru gave up on his pullover, but Rin was going on undressing himself and he was feeling more and more confused by his more or less calm attitude. Normally, he wouldn’t have minded bathing with him, but now he couldn’t help it at all, and so, snorting, he went towards the door.

«If you want to take a bath now that badly, I’ll let you go before me.»

But before he could reach the handle, Rin grabbed his shirt.

«Stop running around, dammit!»

And, almost laughing, he now aimed at his trousers, with Haru’s great disappointment.

«Oi, stop it! Let me- Oi, are you even listening to me?!»

Uselessly trying to prevent Rin from stripping him, Haru couldn’t help but wonder if he was actually conscious of what he was doing, though, rather than an assault, all that was more similar to a funny trip to the hot springs with a noisy friend. He wasn’t really able to believe that Rin could possibly be that oblivious.

«It’s cramped in here,» he complained, starting to think that he probably was, while watching him relax in his bathtub sitting in front of him.

Rin sighed, keeping his eyes closed. «Will you stop grumbling?»

Haru stared at him, then he observed the little blue dolphin floating between them.

«You made me worry,» he admitted, still sounding irritated.

Rin immediately raised his head. «Worry?»

Haru regretted saying that right after seeing Rin’s perplexed expression. He quickly left the bathtub, taking a towel to dry himself. It was strange for him to be the first one to come out of the water, but he couldn’t stand that awkward situation anymore.

«I almost thought you had something weird in mind.»

He was already cursing himself for having started that conversation, since it was something way too embarrassing to admit.

«I’m going to bed,» he declared, ignoring his boyfriend’s mouth still opened in shock, almost slamming his bathroom’s door.

Once in his room, he flopped on the bed with a sigh, staring at the ceiling. His heart was racing. Being that nervous was pointless. He could relax, right? Rin wasn’t going to try anything, right? Was he by any chance disappointed? Discarding that absurd possibility, he spent some minutes thinking on his mattress. Then, right when he stood up to get a t-shirt, Rin entered the room with a towel on his head. They gazed at each other till the moment they noticed they were staring too much, looking away from the respective red faces without a word.  
Using his search for a shirt as a pretext, Haru kept fumbling in his wardrobe as long as possible, but, behind him, Rin couldn’t stay as quiet as him.

«I wasn’t acting weird,» he mumbled, sitting at his desk.

Haru stopped searching, though without looking away from his drawer.

«Then don’t try to undress me all of a sudden.»

«Oi,  _THAT_ wasn’t my intention!» Rin talked back.

«I didn't know you were this innocent,» Haru continued, almost mocking him while picking a shirt, actually hoping to turn that really uncomfortable discussion into a fight.

«Well, if you want me to be honest, of course I thought about it!!» Rin responded, instead, standing up and getting angry, despite his face becoming completely red. «But I can’t believe you of all people,  _you_ , the one who sleeps with a magazine about water under the bed, were actually worried about this kind of stuff!!»

«It’s all your fault!!»

«I did nothing, you idiot!!»

«As long as you do creepy things, it’s your fault!!»

«You’re the one to talk about creepy stuff, getting turned on by stupid kisses and _accusing_ _me_!!»

«I never said such a thing!!»

«Then why did you stop me?!»

«Because it-! … felt… weird…»

«So you admit I was right?!»

Haru wavered, seeing Rin’s red face and wondering if he was in the same condition. That was  _not_ how his plan was supposed to work.

«L-luckily, you wouldn’t have the guts to do anything,» he grumbled, clearly embarrassed.

Tension was suddenly killing the both of them. Never-ending seconds of silence followed his words.

«T-then don't even bother putting your clothes on!!» Rin shouted, in the end, throwing away his towel, grabbing Haru’s arm and dragging him away from his wardrobe.

«O-oi!! What should that mean?! Rin!!»

Haru uselessly tried to fight back. What was he planning to do now?! Was he even serious?!  
Rin literally threw him on the bed, climbing on it as well to be able to stand over him. Haru did his best to stay and look calm, even if, with the both of them wearing just their underwear and a pair of joggers after a discussion like that, it wasn’t exactly a piece of cake. That was the first time in his whole life that he was worrying about not wearing enough clothes.

«Are you really sure about this?» he asked, quietly, doing his best to sound a bit bored, as if he wasn’t believing his partner’s intentions. Rin was even holding his wrists and he couldn’t move almost at all. That was bad. Maybe it was just the spur of the moment or a sick bluff.

«Shut up!!» Rin blurted, possibly turning even redder.

Still willing to believe something like that wasn’t happening for real, Haru tried to act nonchalantly, though he looked away.

«We… can’t do this. We need… stuff.»

As he said that, he saw Rin’s hand twitch next to his face.

«I… know?»

Hearing his trembling words, Haru immediately looked at him, just in time to see him glance away, nervously swallowing, with a seemingly guilty expression on his face. It couldn’t be. He turned towards Rin’s bag on the floor, then towards him again. Really?!  
Rin finally found the strength to look at him.

«Don't… make that face,» he mumbled, quickly gazing away from Haru's incredulous expression. «I didn't do it on purpose. S-Steve gave that stuff to me when I left after forcing me to admit I have a lover.»

«Find a better excuse.»

«It's the truth!»

Rin observed his boyfriend. It was clear he didn't know if he could believe him. He might as well be sincere till the end.

«Don’t… misunderstand. I… wasn’t even thinking I would have spent the night alone with you. N-not… today, at least.»

«Then why do you have that stuff in your bag?!»

«Stop calling condoms “that stuff”!!»

«You’re doing it too!»

«Shut up!! If you know what “that stuff” is, it means you know how things are to be done as well, so don’t pretend to be this naive!»

Haru couldn’t talk back and just avoided looking at him.

«Anyway, I… just forgot them there,» Rin admitted.

«Since when?»

He swallowed again, looking away from Haru’s serious face. «Since… the night we arrived here from Sydney.»

He paused, peeking at his partner’s really scolding look.

«Oi… Do you really think I’d do something like that without your consent?»

«Then what is this?» Haru ironically replied, since he was still blocked under his more and more flustered boyfriend. His face on top of him was now so red it was almost looking like he was going to cry from embarrassment.

«I… wasn’t serious!!! This was meant to be a joke!!!» Rin buried his face in Haru’s chest, finally letting him go, completely unable to keep eye contact any longer. «I think I’m having an unexpected reaction, down here, and it’s all your fault!»

«What?»

Haru raised his head, a bit confused, looking at his red ears, but it took him a second to realize what he meant and he immediately blushed at least as much as him. That was really too much!!  
However, Rin wasn’t making up excuses and he was also looking pretty lost, despite everything. He wasn’t sure he wanted to get angry at him.

«… pervert,» was the only thing he could mutter.

«What?!» an irritated Rin replied. «Who do you even think I am?!»

«You could have asked normally, at least!»

«I could never ask such an embarrassing thing!!»

«Then how do you expect me to tell you if I agree or not?!!»

«It's not my fault if you suck at reading the mood!!»

«The m...?!»

Haru stared at him, at first bewildered, but, despite his astonishment, he suddenly remembered the night Rin stayed over, right after their arrival in Japan, and even that moment, before, when he ran away from him, less than an hour earlier, maybe other times too. It was true Rin never asked explicitly, but it was also true he did it in his own way at least twice and he blatantly ignored him. That was why he wasn’t expecting him to be even more troubled than he was. His face was literally screaming ‘what do I do now?!’. That extreme and almost funny embarrassment somehow made him calm down. They were in the same shoes, in the end. For a whole year, he thought he was the only one being quite unaware of his own feelings. Rin always looked so sure about everything that he started to be a little afraid of his attitude, fearing he might become too pushy. But he probably was still the romantic and hopeless little boy he had always been. If at first he was the one feeling anxious, now he was the one wishing to tell Rin that everything was ok.

«Y-you… kind of asked, now, right?»

«What?»

Seeing Rin blink confused, Haru looked away. «I… don’t mind,» he mumbled, not even able to believe he actually said that. «It… was going to happen, sooner or later… wasn’t it?»

Rin looked really conflicted. «O-oi… do you even know what you’re saying?»

«Not really,» Haru replied, feeling his face getting red again.

They were in a curious ‘should I stay or should I go?’ situation. Objectively choosing which was the right thing to do was almost a torture.

«N-never mind,» Rin mumbled, clearly trying with all his might to act cool. «I’ll… uh… just go back to the bathroom or something.»

Though he said that, he didn’t move an inch.  
After looking at his face for a few seconds, Haru sighed, pretending to be annoyed. That uncomfortable situation, willing to admit it or not, was going to make him end up like Rin very soon and his reason was still pretty much telling him to avoid that.

«Then why are you still here?»

«I… don’t know,» Rin’s trembling voice answered.

Haru stared at him. If only they were simple friends, something like that would’ve been terribly hilarious, but that wasn’t the case. His feelings were running around like a twister, blurring his thoughts, more and more out of control. He was losing his cold temper, as well as the capability to push Rin away. Was it due to his mind or his body? Which one was he supposed to listen to? As things were now, his body and his heart were thinking far better than his brain. He was literally burning. The urge to convey whatever was flowing through his chest, his head, his blood outside was just too much. He almost didn’t notice his own hand reaching for Rin’s hair and neck little by little, but he truly wondered what he was doing, while pulling him closer, kissing him.  
Rin’s surprised expression slowly became more relaxed.

«What should this mean?»

Haru looked away another time, listening to his heart racing even more.

«I… don’t know,» he said, copying Rin’s words.

That was the easiest answer he could think of, though a bit different from how he was feeling.  
Rin nervously sighed, leaning his head to his boyfriend’s temple, before uncertainly kissing his cheek. Haru turned, to meet his mouth and then to gaze at his eyes again while doing so, almost trying to get what Rin was thinking. How the hell did they end up in that situation? Not that one in particular. Everything. How and when did that noisy and extremely annoying child become that dear to him? How many times did he make his heart skip a beat, both in a good and in a bad way? How many times did they help each other almost to an exaggerate extent? How many times had he been forced to see him disappear, before understanding he wasn’t able to live apart from him? He stared at Rin’s less confused expression, raising a hand to caress his face once more. He wanted to be with him, no matter what, no matter how.

«You’re weird…» Rin chuckled, tenderly.

Haru let out a small sigh. «If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be here.»

Sweetly smiling, Rin buried his face into his neck again and this time Haru didn’t push him away, enjoying the strange warmness that was running through his veins, gently stroking the same red hair that were tickling his skin. When Rin went back to his lips, he let his kiss become more and more intense, circling him with his arms, kissing his mouth, his face, his body, just the way Rin was doing with him. Suddenly, none of them was worried or scared anymore and pleasure and affection soon took the place of embarrassment and uncertainty. Their mutual inexperience turned every gesture into something reassuring, at times even funny. They almost fought, while going through the trouble of undressing one another for good. But in the end, what at first was just a timid exploration of each other’s body became something so natural and sweet that it didn't even feel as surreal as it sounded earlier. It was just a new and different way to stay close to each other, to share feelings that couldn’t be put into words. And even other sensations that could be expressed more easily.

«It was true that it hurts!» Rin grumbled.

Haru fell on his open arm, after throwing away one last tissue.

«Oi, I told you, but you wanted to switch anyway,» was his blunt reply. «At least, now we’re even,» he muttered, embarrassed.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, still lightly panting and with their hair funnily messed up. Then their lips started trembling and in the end they couldn't hold in a soothing laughter, for the only silly words they found to break an otherwise too uncomfortable silence.

«This isn't romantic at all!» Rin tried to complain, despite the big grin on his face.

Haru went back to his grumpy expression. «Stop it, you and your romantic stuff.»

«You’re not romantic either.»

«And I’ll never be.»

Rin giggled again, but then he lied on his side to face his partner, with a tender smile, gently caressing his hair. Haru took his hand, making it rest for a while on his face, before smiling as well.

Rin let out an amused sigh. «You do are romantic, after all…»

Haru glared at him. «The more you’ll use that word, the less I’ll be.»

Then he took that chance to climb over Rin to go and turn off the lights, doing his best to forget he wasn’t wearing any clothes. Feeling uncomfortable  _now_ was a bit meaningless. However, he thanked the fact Rin was still facing the wall, when he went back: he found out that his gaze all over his body was… oddly irritating?

«You could’ve moved,» he protested, after managing to reach the empty space between Rin and the wall again, taking the duvet and laying down on his side, still lifted on an elbow.

«Too tired,» Rin mumbled, yawning and curling up against his chest.

«Oi…»

Haru observed his red hair, hit by the light coming from a street lamp outside the window. Getting out of the bed made his body chill a bit, but Rin’s closeness and his calm breath were already warming him again. It was a nice feeling. He lightly stroked his head. Rin beside him, that warmth, their clothes on the floor, that extremely sweet emotion… Was all that still going to be there, the morning after? Or was it just a weird dream? He kissed Rin’s soft, red hair, letting his lips rest there. He still wasn’t able to believe that everything they went through during the last year really happened. He still wasn’t able to understand how being so fond of someone could be even possible. Maybe Rin’s romanticism was starting to infect him.  
He circled his shoulders and slid a bit closer to him. Rin reacted by clinging to his body even more. He was so cuddly it was almost funny.

«Rin…» he whispered.

Expressing feelings wasn’t his strong point at all, especially through words, but it was the first time he was completely sure about the name he wanted to give to what was floating in his heart. He paused, taking the time to kiss his boyfriend’s hair another time. That silence, however, clearly made Rin get curious, because he mumbled a sleepy «What?» from under the blankets.  
Haru observed his head. Words were now getting stuck against his teeth. If only Rin hadn’t talked… He was suddenly feeling stupid for even thinking he could ever say something as sappy as what he almost said.

«N-never mind…» he muttered, giving up and falling on the pillow.

Rin raised his head to look at him.

«W-what?» the blue-eyed boy asked, his eyebrows nervously twitching.

A sly grin appeared on Rin’s face. «You were going to say it, weren't you?»

«No, I wasn't,» Haru promptly lied, immediately realizing he unwillingly admitted they were thinking about the same words.

In fact, Rin giggled even more. «You were!»

«I wasn’t!»

«Come on, just once!»

«I don’t know what you’re talking about!»

«Liar!»

«Prove it!»

«Idiot.»

Saying that, Rin evidently surrendered, laying down. Haru watched him, a bit surprised by the fact he gave up before him, but he ended up smiling, closing his eyes and embracing him again. He was lucky: there was no need for words, after all.

The first morning of the year, he got woken up by Rin’s voice calling him.

«What?» he mumbled, while trying to focus on the sweet smile in front of his face.

He was so sleepy he didn’t even bother to remember why Rin was there.

«Get up, you lazy bum! Oi…» Rin snorted, seeing Haru close his eyes again. «Makoto texted me and I told him to come here for breakfast.»

«Mmh…»

After blinking twice, Haru curled up under the blankets, next to the warmth coming from Rin’s body. Getting up during winter was particularly annoying.  
Rin sighed, resigned, hugging him and kissing his head, enjoying that simple gesture for a few moments.

«I’m taking a shower,» he said, in the end, getting up. «Don’t fall asleep again!»

That said, he took his clothes and left the room.  
When Rin went out, Haru opened his eyes, lying on his belly with a small sigh, staring at the opened door. If it wasn’t for a dull ache and some sore muscles somewhere around his hips, he would’ve almost passed over the previous night. He was pretty sure that he would have died from embarrassment, after waking up, so he didn’t want to think about it, but it wasn’t the case. He was kind of surprised.  
Sitting up, he enveloped himself in his duvet, staying like that and listening to the little sounds all around him, the birds chirping outside, the leaves singing under the sunlight spreading all over, and the water running through the plumbing, till he thought Rin had finished showering. Then he slowly got up, picking some clothes, still wrapped in his duvet, walking towards the door like a giant snowman.  
After taking a bath and dressing, once in his living room, he found Makoto and Sousuke, who greeted him with a smile, and he passed by Rin, who was talking with them with a pair of chopsticks in his hand, meaning he was the one preparing breakfast. He was rightly thinking he wasn’t feeling like cooking, now.

«I was almost going to check if you were sleeping in the bathtub,» Rin said, observing him sitting down at the table. «Good morning.»

That said, he leaned over him, planting a kiss on his lips.  
Haru felt a little surprised by his nonchalance, but he was too sleepy to even mind what he did in bright day and in front of their friends, though he was sure he did that just because only Sousuke and Makoto were there.  
Makoto wasn’t sharing his calmness and looked away a bit uneasy.

«I… have to get used to this,» he commented, nervously giggling.

Instead, Sousuke grinned, lazily leaning his head to the back of his hand.

«You look happy, this morning, Rin. Did something happen?» he asked, mockingly.

Makoto’s face became bright red. «Sousuke!!»

Though his friend wasn’t talking seriously, Rin’s eyebrows slightly twitched, but he managed to maintain a straight expression.

«Not really,» he replied, heading towards the kitchen. «Man, I’m starving».

Even Haru kept calm, but Sousuke’s question made his mind wake up a bit more and all the memories about what happened the previous night raised to the surface. He had a sudden urge to clear his throat, but doing that was going to draw attention. Feeling Makoto’s eyes on him, he tried to stare back, hoping he was still looking… normal. He had to say something. Anything.

«W-what?»

Wrong choice.  
As Makoto’s face turned crimson, Sousuke raised his head, looking perplexed. Then, after a few seconds, his expression became vaguely shocked.

«W-wait… don’t tell me-»

«Not really,» Haru immediately replied, instinctively turning in the opposite direction.

Rin, who heard nothing, came back with two bowls of rice, just to find both Makoto and Haru in a state of extreme embarrassment and a clearly uneasy Sousuke covering his face with a hand, who looked at him through his fingers.

«To think I was even joking, earlier…»

«WHA-?!»

Rin’s face immediately turned the same color of his hair, but he said nothing and grinned his teeth, going back and forth from the kitchen till he brought all the food on the table. Then he sat down next to Haru, whose face was still quite stiff. He took his chopsticks and his bowl of rice, but he stayed still for a few seconds, trying to stand the extremely unbearable silence around him.

«I hate you,» he finally said, then, glaring at Haru, who tried to hide his face behind the cup of tea he was drinking. “And shut up you!!” he added, turning towards Sousuke, who was now giving him a thumb-up.

If getting accustomed was what their friends were supposed to do, that was a somehow perfect start without any doubt. The beginning of a new year seriously couldn’t be better than that.

«So? Are you going to live together, the next Spring?» Sousuke asked, when the atmosphere cooled down.

«I asked the landlady,» Haru replied. «She said he can stay.»

«That’s bad…»

«Why?»

Sousuke sighed, turning towards Makoto. «You’ll have to knock before going in, from now o-»

Rin violently hit him with the pillow he was sitting on, his face bright red again.

***

«Man, you really saved me. I couldn’t do this every day,» Rin said, referring to his wallet before buying his train ticket for Tokyo.

«We did this almost every day, before finding a place to live in,» Haru replied, while looking for money in his bag.

Rin prevented him from searching any further. «Oi, I’ll pay.»

«What? But I-»

«You’re letting me stay at your place. This is the least I can do.»

Haru observed the slightly embarrassed expression he had on his face while heading towards the ticket machine, and he sighed, without protesting. Rin was really too caring.  
After the three hours trip, the first place they stopped at was Haru’s apartment.

«As expected, you even have a bathtub,» Rin said, resigned, checking the small flat after leaving his luggage next to the door. «You really have a water fetish, Haru.»

«Are you jealous?»

«Do you want a punch or something?»

Haru ignored him. «Are we going to have lunch together, after the training?»

«Does that mean we have to meet at the training camp?» Sousuke asked, sighing.

Rin put a hand behind his neck, thinking. «I guess so. Someone from the team is probably going to join us.»

Makoto looked interested. «We can meet someone from the national team! It’s going to be fun!»

«You already know someone from the team,» Rin joked, laughing.

«Oi, Rin! Hurry up, or we won’t make it in time!»

Haru quickly went out again, glaring at his boyfriend, who snorted.

«Yeah, yeah, I’m coming…»

When they got to the pool, more or less half of the team was missing. It wasn’t an official meeting, after all, and only the ones living in Tokyo with some free time left were there.

«Tomorrow we’re gonna begin at full force!» Nobuyuki eagerly said, circling his arms during warm ups. «Oi, Rin, what about a little relay practice, the four of us? I heard you like teamwork!»

Rin looked at him, a bit bothered by being called by his first name after meeting him just twice, but then he smiled.

«Count me in!»

After swimming for a couple of hours, they met with Sousuke and Makoto outside of the building to grab a bite, and their two teammates tagged along.

«Could you not eat mackerel for once?» Rin asked, after Haru placed his order.

«No way,» was the answer.

«So you are Sousuke and Makoto!» Nobuyuki exclaimed, smiling at the two boys in front of them. «Nice to meet you!»

«Oi, you can’t just call any person you meet by their first name, Nobu-chan…» Masayoshi scolded him, with a sigh.

The other looked offended. «My friends’ friends are my friends too!»

Makoto laughed. «There’s no problem! It’s a pleasure to meet you.»

«I heard you swim too,» Masayoshi said, looking interested.

«Well, I was in the same club as Haru till high school, but now I’m a coach,» Makoto smiled.

«But you keep training nonetheless,» Sousuke added, with a small grin.

The green eyed boy looked a bit embarrassed. «Well, losing shape would be a waste.»

«And you?» Masayoshi asked, focusing on Sousuke, who shrugged.

«I was forced to postpone my goals, but I’m planning to join your team in a year or two.»

«Ooooh! Are you sure you can do that?» Nobuyuki replied, maliciously grinning.

Next to him, Rin chuckled. «His specialty is butterfly as well and he could be better than you!»

«EEEEH?! That’s not fair! You can’t come here and be faster than your senpais!!»

«Well, now that you said that, I’m curious,» Masayoshi continued, ignoring his friend’s complaints. «Why don’t you swim with us, after this break?»

Makoto and Sousuke perplexedly stared at him, but they ended up gladly accepting the offer.  
Being among the national team, Makoto couldn’t hide his excitement and even Sousuke looked really interested. Since, as Rin said, there was no coach, Masayoshi jokingly wanted Makoto to show his skills, and he, at first a bit uneasy, played along. Then a series of time trials made the hours fly and evening came before they could even notice.

«They do are too fast!» Makoto commented, smiling.

«You weren’t that slow,» Rin replied, grinning. «Are you sure you don’t want to join us?»

«Ahah! Yeah, Rin, I’m pretty sure!»

Sousuke turned towards them. «Oi, speed up or we’ll lose the train! My father can’t afford all his employees to arrive late.»

Rin looked perplexed. «All? Didn’t Haru quit that job?»

«I still help, if I have time and they need me. Better than paying the rent on swimming alone,» Haru replied.

Rin looked disappointed. «You hadn’t told me all this. Am I the only one who’s going to feel useless?»

«You could work in exchange for your dinner,» Sousuke replied, joking.

But Rin’s face became serious. «Deal!»

«Oi, wait, Rin! I was j-!»

«Deal!!»

And so, in the end, Rin managed to gain a position as a bartender for that evening, since that was part of his job in Sydney, but he apparently ended up doing such a good work that Sousuke’s father insisted in giving him a little allowance too.

«I keep thinking he did that just because I’m your friend,» he said, following Sousuke to the door. Then he turned, putting his money in Haru’s jacket pockets. «This is my part of the rent.»

«There’s no need to!» Haru protested, trying to give the money back.

But Rin refused. «I’ll start to get paid as well, within April! Keep the damn money!»

«Oi…»

Makoto laughed. «Let him be, Haru…»

«Come on, guys, I want to go to sleep,» Sousuke complained, almost kicking them out.

After greeting Makoto as well at the station, Haru and Rin were finally able to get home.

«You do have a busy life,» Rin complained, after Haru let him go in first.

«You too, I guess. Or are you slacking, in Sydney?» Haru sarcastically replied, putting his keys on the table.

Rin glared at him. «I don’t want you to tell me about slacking.»

«Whatever. Go take a shower.»

Taking out a couple of futons, Haru waited for his turn to use the bathroom. When he came back after bathing as well, he found Rin dozing on the wrong mattress.

«Oi…» He glared at him. «That’s mine.»

«Why do you care?» Rin mumbled, before grabbing his shirt, pulling him down and clinging to his neck.

«Oi… !» Haru complained again.

«I’m sleepy,» Rin replied, his face hidden in his shirt.

«Then sleep,» Haru sighed, a bit annoyed by his attitude.

Rin moved his gaze to his blue eyes, then he kissed him.

«You are an idiot,» he grumbled, when their lips separated.

Haru sighed another time. He was annoying for sure, but in a sense his spoiled attitude was kind of cute.

«Look who’s talking…»

«You’re as cold as ever,» Rin protested, kissing him another time.

Haru let him do that, but noticing he wasn’t willing to let neither him nor his mouth go, he blocked him, with a firm look.

«Whatever you want to do, not today.»

No matter how nice of an experience the one they had the last night was, the bad sides of it weren’t exactly making him feel like repeating it so soon. However, Rin’s intentions were pretty clear.

«I attempted nothing,» he protested, not sounding convincing enough.

Haru looked at his offended face, wondering if he had to deal with all this every day, from now on. Chasing away that part of him that was actually wishing to indulge his boyfriend, he raised an eyebrow.

«You were probably going to.»

«What?!»

«And you were complaining too, when you got up. I don’t think you want to do this when we have to train early in the morning.»

Caught off guard, Rin didn’t speak any further, moving on his own futon.

«You’re not even denying,» Haru added, glaring at him while getting under his blankets.

He heard Rin do the same behind him while grumbling, and they stayed back to back like that for a bit, in silence. Winning that little battle was surely satisfying, but he started to feel a bit sorry for the way he treated him and also irritated by that same feeling. He had to admit he would have been upset too, if Rin were to refuse like he just did.

«T-tomorrow, ok?»

«Uh?» Rin replied, stupefied.

Haru tried to ignore his uneasiness. Denying that he got pleasure from making love with him was just too pretentious. The memories of Rin's body moving on him in his arms, of his warm breath against his neck, of his attempts not to sink his nails in Rin's back and of how Rin, instead, probably did were still far too vivid. He even avoided recalling them for the whole day, or else his self control was going to stagger even more. He hated losing control and that was why he wasn’t expecting to actually wish to repeat that experience, at least not so soon. The truth was that the achy after-effects and the will to avoid looking eager about it were probably the only reasons preventing him from changing his mind.

«But… ask normally, when you want to do it,» he concluded, muttering.

«What?!» Rin turned, sitting up, his face now completely red. «Why do I have to ask?! And why do I have to be the one asking?!!»

«Because you’re the one who started it!»

«You weren’t enjoying it less than me, last night!»

«That’s not true!»

«It is!»

«It isn’t!»

Haru gave him a bad look, over his shoulder.

«Whatever. Goodnight.»

He cut that embarrassing conversation like that and, curling up, he closed his eyes.  
Rin laid down again as well, this time facing towards him.

«Oi, Haru…»

Receiving no answer, he got closer, embracing him tightly.

«I love you,» he mumbled, burying his face into Haru’s shirt.

Silence.  
Not getting any reply nor reaction, he raised his head, a bit annoyed.

«You’re supposed to say ‘I love you too’, in this situation.»

«Forget it. And it’s not like I’ll change my mind, if you keep blabbering about romantic stuff.»

«As if I did it for that!!»

«Just shut up and sleep, you idiot!»

Haru hid his face under the blankets, but he took the hand Rin was keeping on his chest. He wasn’t that against him sleeping on his futon, after all.

 


	16. As clear as water

****Less than two days left.  
Waking up with that thought in mind and finding it really unpleasant surprised him a bit. Every day that passed, he found himself being more and more attached to that troublemaker sleeping next to him.  
Sighing, Haru deprived both himself and Rin of the warm blanket, making the redhead curl up.

«Oi, wake up, we have to go training.»

They got up pretty early. Trainings at the college were the first thing planned in the morning. Rin got the permission to swim with his club, that day, since the national team activities weren’t started yet.  
Ai was particularly happy about that fact, because he managed to practice relay with his former senpai after so much time.

«But it’s a pity you can’t swim against each other anymore,» he observed, while taking a little break. «I mean… you’re in the same team.»

«Well, that doesn’t mean we won’t be rivals,» Rin replied, grinning. «Only one can get the first place.»

«And that one won’t be you,» Haru added.

Rin immediately glared at him. «Oi! Don’t be so cocky just because today you won!»

But his boyfriend scoffed at him, going back to the pool, with Ai’s great amusement.

The morning shift passed by quickly and who wasn’t busy with other college activities could swim more after lunch.

«Aaaah… I am busy, today,» Ai complained, disappointed, after knowing his two friends were going for the afternoon shift as well. «I may be able to join you within this evening.»

«Then we’ll wait for you,» Rin smiled, turning then towards Haru’s bag, that started buzzing in that moment. «Haru, your phone.»

«Mh? Oh… It must be Makoto,» Haru replied, looking for his mobile.

Despite their jobs, Makoto and Sousuke were still calling quite often, mostly to get together for lunch or dinner. It had to be one of them. But when he finally found his phone, he felt a bit surprised, seeing the upcoming call.

«It was Masa…» he said, when he hung up.

Rin blinked, perplexed. «And?»

«He asked if we want to have lunch with him and Nobu. I said it was okay.»

«At least ask me, first. Oh, whatever, it’s fine with me. Where do we go?»

Greeting Ai, they left for the meeting place, a fast-food luckily not too far from the college.

«Aaaah! I’m hungry!!» Nobuyuki exclaimed, stretching his arms while entering the place. «I’m glad you guys managed to come. Since I was training nearby and Masa had his training session cancelled, I thought about calling you two.»

«So you’re not in the same team?» Rin asked, sitting down at a free table.

«We were,» Masayoshi explained, quietly smiling. «But we had an agreement: if we could get in the national team, one of us had to leave the team and join another one.»

«It’s not funny, if we swim as teammates all the time!» Nobu, added.

Hearing that, Haru and Rin exchanged a look, smiling right after.

«I agree with that,» Rin replied.

«Oi, there’s nothing with mackerel, here,» Haru commented, checking the menu.

As a response, Rin punched his head, making their friends laugh.

«If you don’t mind, we’d like to meet with you guys more often,» Nobu said, unpacking his hamburger. «I like you and I’d be glad to know my latest teammates better. Right, Masa-chan?»

His pal gave him a smile, nodding. «Nobu has a thing for interesting people.»

«We’re not that interesting,» Haru commented, taking another French fry.

Rin glared at him. «You really suck at accepting compliments.»

«Whatever.»

«But, if I’m not wrong, you’ll leave soon, don’t you, Rin?» Masayoshi asked, a bit puzzled.

Rin nodded, with a smile. «Ah, yeah, I’m leaving tomorrow, actually.»

Nobuyuki looked rather disappointed.

«But I’ll be back in April, right, Haru?»

«Yeah…» the black-haired replied, disappointed as well, but because of his hamburger, apparently.

«Oi, hurry up and eat that, you mackerel maniac. We have to go back,» Rin grumbled, irritated, making their teammates laugh again.

But then he sighed, relieved. Haru wasn’t showing any kind of feeling in particular, about his upcoming departure, this time. Despite somehow wishing he could show more attachment to him, he was glad he wasn’t minding too much. That was just the way Haru was. Seeing him upset or sad would have been far more unnatural. Smiling, he stood up.

«Toilet,» he simply said, walking away.

It was a pity he had to leave so soon. They got called by their new teammates exactly when he thought it could be cool, if they were to know each other better. Finding nice teammates wasn’t always to be taken for granted. But he had always been lucky, about it, and this was no exception.  
Looking at the time, he hoped Haru had finished eating already, because they really had to go. However, when he got back, not only Haru’s lunch was gone, but he was as well.

«Where’s that idiot, now?» Rin snorted, looking around.

As he saw him, Nobuyuki stood up. «Ah, Rin!»

«Nobu, where-?»

«I have no clue,» he replied, vaguely worried. «He got a phone call from someone, then he – like – changed expression and ran away, saying it was urgent.»

Rin blinked, perplexed. That idiot… What was he doing now?

«Did he say something?»

Masa shook his head, standing up as well. «No. I hope it’s not something serious. He went out while on the phone. I heard he was heading to the airport.»

«What?!»

Rin widened his eyes. If it wasn’t for that detail, he could have just taken that as another manifestation of Haru’s weird behaviour, but… The airport? Now he was concerned as well.  
He started thinking where the heck he could’ve gone, but, as soon as he looked for an answer, he found the most plausible one. There was only one town, in Japan, Haru would immediately leave for.

Noticing his change of expression, Nobuyuki watched him, worryingly. «Do you think something happened?»

«I have no clue, but at least I think I know where he’s going!» Rin replied, quickly taking his bag. «Sorry, guys! I’ll kick him for you too!»

«Don’t worry, Rin! Next time, dinner will be on him!» Masayoshi replied, smiling.

«You can bet on it!!»

That said, Rin waved at them one last time, rushing out through the crowd.

«They really are something,» Nobu commented, watching him run away.

Masa sighed, lightly. «That’s why they are our teammates.»

***

By the time he arrived at Iwatobi, it was late noon already. He couldn’t catch up with Haru at the airport because he miraculously managed to get in the first flight available immediately. Instead, he had to wait hours, for the next one, and in the meantime he had to call Ai to apologize for not coming back, not to mention Makoto, who happened to phone him too. He told the truth to none of them. Worrywart as they were, there was no way he could tell them something before knowing what was going on. Not that he wasn’t worried as well. Such a sudden departure was seriously concerning him. Did something happen at his place? Or to his family? Not only Haru wasn’t replying to phone calls as always, but his phone was also turned off or out of reach. He could have sent a text, at least, damn him!  
Finally seeing Makoto’s house a few meters forward, he started running. Was Haru at home? He hoped so, both because that was the only place he could think of and because he bought an expensive plane ticket simply trusting a hunch, before realizing that was something really dumb to do.  
Once in front of Haru’s house, he rang the bell. His heart was now beating faster and his legs were refusing to stay still, stepping back and forth along the little space before the entry door. He waited for what it felt like an eternity. When he finally heard some steps, his heartbeat increased even more.  
At last, the door opened and, before him, he found Haru’s extremely confused and bewildered face. With probably the same expression he was wearing, he stared at him for quite some time.

«Rin…» Haru finally mumbled. «W-what are you doing here?»

«What am I doing here?! What are _you_ doing here!!»

«I got a call from-»

«I was worried sick, damn you!! Leaving me there and running home like that!!»

This time, Haru looked annoyed. «Oi, I told Masa and Nobu to tell you not to worry and that I was going to be back tomorrow. I left the keys of the apartment in your bag.»

«They didn't know it,» Rin replied, crossing his arms and tapping a foot on the floor, nervously.

Haru thought about something for a few seconds, then a vaguely guilty expression appeared on his face.

«Maybe… I forgot some details.»

«SOME details?!! What are you eve-»

But a woman suddenly appeared from the corridor, interrupting him.

«Haruka, do we have guests?»

The two boys stared at Haru’s mother for a while, as perplexed as she was. Then she recognized Rin and she immediately smiled, inviting him in.  
After taking off his hat, Rin punched his boyfriend’s arm.

«Just tell me, damn you.»

Haru snorted. He was right, after all.

«I told him there was no need to rush here, but telling him about the mackerel we bought him from our last trip was probably the finishing blow,» Haru’s mom said, kindly smiling to their guest while sitting at the table in the living room beside her husband. «I knew he had someone staying over, but I didn't know it was you, Rin! You could have told me, Haruka. I almost thought it was a girl!»

«Y-yeah…» Haru mumbled, sweating cold and looking away, not only for that ironic misunderstanding.

Only now he was beginning to realize how much he probably made Rin worry and he was quite scared of his possible reaction. But, maybe only thanks to his parents’ presence, his punishment was limited to another punch on his arm, though considerably stronger than the first one. He took a glimpse of his face: despite that, he was looking more relieved than angry. His life was spared, for now.  
As predicted, after meeting Rin again after so much time, his parents insisted he had to stay for dinner.

«The last time I saw you was at nationals during high school, right?» Haru’s dad asked, enthusiastically, starting to eat. «We couldn’t speak to you, though.»

«But we met your mother,» Mrs. Nanase added. «I should contact her sometimes. Together with Makoto’s mom, we got along quite well, when you were in the Iwatobi Swim Club.»

Rin kindly smiled. «Yeah, she told me.»

He couldn’t remember much about Haru’s parents, but now he was seriously wondering how those cheerful people could have a grumpy son like that. The black-haired man in front of him looked quite relaxed and carefree, while his wife was a gentle and enthusiastic woman, with blue eyes like his son’s. Despite his first impression, actually, now that he was checking them properly, some of Haru’s both exterior and interior traits made a bit more sense, after all.

«Tell us, Rin: how is it, to be in the national team at last?» Haru’s dad smiled.

«It feels great! And still a bit hard to believe,» Rin added, scratching his head, a bit embarrassed.

«Will you stay here in Japan, now?»

«No, I’m going back to Sydney tomorrow, but I’ll be in Tokyo again within April.»

«That’s good to hear. You should start to look for a place where to live already, though. Finding a house in Tokyo can be troublesome.»

«Actually, he’s staying at my place,» Haru replied, calmly, but concentrated on his dinner. «It’s just for some weeks, if we manage to take part to the championship. We can afford to live there even if it’s a small flat.»

His mom happily smiled. «Oh! That's nice! You've always been such close friends! I'm happy to hear this!»

After those words, Rin couldn’t avoid clearing his throat, making him understand he wasn’t the only one being nervous. Maybe it was just a paranoia, but he was smelling danger. The fact they lived together wasn’t a big deal, apparently, but his parents didn’t know about them at all and the chances that could become an awkward meeting between his boyfriend and his family were not low enough.

Haru’s dad got a word in again. «Are you still living with your host family, in Sydney, Rin?»

«No, I moved, but only a few moths ago.»

«I’ve never been to Australia,» Haru’s mom intervened, dreamy. «I’d like to go there. Is it a nice place?»

Relaxing a bit, Rin nodded. «Yeah, the city is huge and lively and the weather is a bit more bearable than the one we have here.»

«Like sunny skies and wonderful beaches?»

«Well… yeah, more or less…»

«Aaah… I bet you have an awesome Australian girlfriend!»

At those words, he and Haru immediately flinched.

«Not this again…» Rin complained, realizing what he said right after and feeling his face heating up. «Sorry, don’t mind me!»

Next to him, Haru was suddenly extremely stiff.  
The woman in front of them surely didn’t let Rin’s reaction slip through her fingers.

«Oh! Do you have someone, then? Ah! I bet he keeps talking about her, right, Haruka? You should find someone too. Isn't there any girl you like in your team?»

Haru was sweating more and more. Despite her being always away, his mother was extremely concerned about his life and personal relationships. Was it going to be the same, if she discovered the truth? He never even thought about telling his parents and he wasn’t completely sure he wanted to do it now.

«Not really.»

His mom sighed. «You should really go to Australia with Rin for a while. Maybe his girlfriend could introduce you to a friend.»

And she smirked towards Rin, who smiled nervously.

«I-I never said I have a girlfriend.»

«But it’s written all over your face.»

«W-well… that isn’t exactly…»

Rin did his best to turn towards Haru, looking for salvation of any sort. Though that was like a déjà-vu of what happened with Lori and Russell, a positive reaction was more difficult to obtain, in this case, especially from his boyfriend’s parents, probably. Trying to ignore his heart hammering into his chest, he glanced at Haru, who did the same. He was at least as worried as him, but he wore an eloquent _better-telling-them-than-letting-them-find-out_ expression. He had to agree. Best just get on with it. Whatever the outcome, they were in that together. Sighing deeply, he clenched his fists on his legs.

«W-well… there is… someone.»

«Ah! I knew it!» the woman in front of them lively replied.

Rin swallowed, nervously. «But… not… a girl.»

Staring at his own hands, with Haru in the same exact pose next to him, he waited for some sort of answer, till the couple could let out a feeble 'Oh…'.

«A-and… not… from Australia,» Haru added, his voice shaking.

Some more seconds of silence followed. Then, the woman in front of them did her best to stop looking stupefied.

«Oh… Then… Do you know… him too, Haruka?»

Haru gave a quick look at both his parents, incredulous. They were still staring at him, waiting. With both him and Rin being that anxious right in front of them, he couldn’t believe they missed such a hint! Was he supposed to tell them explicitly, now? As if this unforeseen confession wasn’t difficult enough!

«A-actually… I…»

He couldn’t stand their eyes on him anymore and he looked down again. By now, it was inevitable.

«G-get it, already.»

For some moments, all he could hear was the ticking of a clock somewhere in that room. Even without hearing a response, he knew they understood what was going on. Inside him, there was a violent battle between embarrassment and worry. How was that going to end?  
An unpleasant atmosphere was running through the whole room. Nobody was speaking anymore. Next to him, Rin was barely breathing.  
To get rid of that long and unbearable silence, Haru finally raised his head, concerned.

«S-say something.»

At those words, his mother forcefully smiled, standing up. «I’m… making some more tea!»

That said, she disappeared in the kitchen.

«O-oi… mom-»

Haru lowered the arm he just raised to stop her. He didn’t know what to expect, but he was hoping it wasn’t what he just witnessed. Turning towards Rin, he gave him a sad and guilty look, getting the same in return. Then he observed his dad too. He wasn’t exactly willing to know his probably bad opinion too, but, with his enormous astonishment, when their eyes met, he saw him smile.

«Don't make that face. She's not upset,» he quietly said.

«T-then what?»

«Well… we can't say we were expecting this,» the man replied, clearly uncomfortable. «This must be the day of big news, it seems. This one's… been quite the surprise, a lot more out of the blue than ours, I’d say. Let your mom digest it.»

Even if he was extremely thankful for those words, Haru lowered his head again, clenching his fists. He was right. And it couldn’t always end perfectly, after all. He was feeling Rin’s gaze on him: something was telling him he was refraining from reaching out to him somehow. Not that he was feeling differently. He dragged him in all that. The least he could do was shielding him from the consequences.  
In that moment, he heard the kitchen door open. His mother stood there, with a sorry look on her face. Maybe it was just a feeling, but her eyes looked vaguely teary.

«I-I'm sorry, boys, for acting like that,» she muttered, sitting at her place again with a faint, nervous smile. «You know, Haru? I had almost surrendered to the fact you were going to stay single forever.»

«Uh?»

Haru widened his eyes, more and more confused, not sure if he had to feel offended or not. Was that a joke, now? He took a look at both his parents another time.

«You are… not angry?»

He couldn’t believe they were going to get away without damage this time too.

«Let’s put it like this.» Haru’s mom took a deep breath and her smile disappeared from her lips. «Is this something serious? Are you sure you really love each other?»

Despite the grave atmosphere, in front of such a direct question, both Haru and Rin’s faces immediately caught fire. After some seconds of silence, Haru could hear Rin mumbling an almost imperceptible ‘Yeah…’. Feeling his cheeks heating up even more, not to mention the pressure of his mother’s eyes on him, he glanced towards Rin and his incredibly red ears, to be sure he was actually looking elsewhere, before giving a silent response.

«Then there's nothing we should worry about.»

The two boys immediately turned towards the woman’s smile, stupefied.

«I don’t know if I agree or not, but I’m glad you had been sincere with us. This wasn't something so easy to admit,» she continued. «All things considered, I’m happy that you are his special person, Rin. Aside from Makoto, he never had any particularly close friend or anyone who caught his interest, before meeting you. He used to complain a lot about you, in the past, and that, in reality, was a really good sign. He never had someone to openly complain so much about, before. You definitely dazzled him.»

«Oi, mom-» Haru tried to protest, glancing at Rin’s red face.

The woman smiled to Rin, more warmly, this time. «I don’t want to worry over things I cannot change. If these are your true feelings, we’ll let you be the one taking care of our son.»

«Besides Makoto, we mean,» Mr. Nanase joked.

After their words, more than a few seconds passed, before Rin could be barely able to nod.  
Haru wasn’t less bewildered than him. He didn’t know what to say at all. Recovering both from the surprise and from the unwillingness to believe what happened, he just quickly pointed at Rin.

«O-oi, I’m the one taking care of him, here!»

«What?!» his boyfriend immediately talked back, getting angry. «You dare to say that even after making me rush here?!!»

Seeing them bickering, Haru’s father let out an amused laughter. «What is there to say, in such occasions?» He watched Rin, faking solemnity in an attempt to break the ice even more. «Ah, yeah! You can call me d-»

«Dad!!»

Haru stopped him before he could finish, but it was a bit too late. His parents were aware of Rin’s family situation and they quickly apologized for that really out of place gaffe. Rin replied with a reassuring smile on his face, but Haru worryingly looked at him: maybe his parents didn't notice, but he really did his best not to cry. He wasn’t sure about the reason, though.

«We’ll leave you alone, then!»

Haru looked at his mother’s cheerful smile, after stopping in front of the entry door with Rin.

«It’s not necessary,» he mumbled.

The woman waved her hand at him. «Don’t be shy. I know what it’s like to be in love.»

Looking at each other and blushing all over again, the couple greeted the Nanase’s one last time.  
Once his parents disappeared in the living room, Haru sighed, turning.

«Are you ok?»

Rin nodded, smiling. «Don’t worry. What your dad said made me kind of… happy,» he replied, rapidly making a 180° turn, though not fast enough to prevent Haru from seeing his eyes glistening for a moment.  
Clearing his throat, Rin tried to act normal again. Staring at Haru for a few moments, he distractedly took his hand.

«I… guess I’ll have to tell my mom about all this too,» he muttered, suddenly looking a bit troubled.

«Don’t worry,» Haru replied. «It will work out.»

That said, he leaned forward, kissing him.

«Oi...» Rin smiled. «I’m not going to forgive you, with this, you mackerel fetishist.»

«To tell you the truth…»

Haru paused for a moment.

«The real reason I came back for was…»

Another awkward pause.  
Rin watched him, vaguely resigned and a bit worried. What was with that uneasiness, now? He suddenly remembered Haru’s father talking about big news, earlier. More troubles?

«W-was...?»

This time, Haru looked away, his eyes suddenly sparkling with thrill, despite his serious face.

«I’m… going to have a little brother. Or… sister.»

For a moment, there was only silence on both sides.  
Then, Rin finally recovered enough to widen his eyes in surprise.

«For real?!»

«Oi, don’t shout like that! I wasn’t supposed to tell you now.»

«Ahah! Sorry!» the redhead laughed. «Well, this is actually a decent reason to run back home!»

«There was mackerel too, anyway,» Haru grumbled, gaining a kick on his leg.

«Idiot,» Rin sighed, smiling again. «These are really good news! Are you happy about it?»

Haru glanced away, his cheeks getting red. «W-whatever.»

«Yeah, yeah…» Rin laughed. «Is your mom ok, anyway? She isn’t that young anymore.»

«My parents married and had me when they were really young. Her age is still within average and the doctor said there’s no need to worry.»

«The age difference will be… huge, though.»

«That’s true.»

«Was it planned?»

«They told me it wasn’t, but they’re really happy. Maybe they were actually feeling lonely, now that I don't live here anymore.»

«Will you be able to stay with them?»

«I’ll do my best.»

«I can’t wait to see you: Haru onii-chan!» Rin giggled, amused.

Haru snorted, embarrassed. «Anyway, my parents are leaving again tomorrow, despite everything. I was planning to go back to Tokyo in a few hours, but the flight got cancelled.»

«Yeah, yeah…» Rin sighed, crossing his arms behind his head. «At least you’re paying for my ticket.»

«My parents are. For your trouble.»

Glaring at him for some seconds, Haru moved his gaze aside another time.

«Also… I'm sorry…» he mumbled, clearly ill at ease.

Rin watched him, confused. «Why?»

Haru vaguely blushed. «Well… Yesterday I said… we were supposed to… spend the night… together.»

Rin’s face immediately went crimson.

«N-nevermind!» he muttered, nervously raising his hands to reassure him, before putting them on his hips, trying to look cool again. «There's… still time before I leave for Australia, you know?»

Haru grumpily scoffed at him. «Pervert.»

«Oi! You're the one who said it!»

«I wanted to do you a favor!»

«A fav-?!»

But Haru went in, slamming the door, without even leaving him enough time to reply.

«Oi, Har-!!»

The door opened again, long enough to let Haru bluntly put on Rin’s head the hat he forgot, closing another time before the redhead’s loud and useless complaints.

***

Really, such a peaceful response from his parents was completely unforeseen. What happened was still feeling like a weird dream. After Rin went home, they asked all the questions they didn’t ask while he was there. Luckily, they had more tact than Nagisa and avoided certain topics, but he had to tell them almost anything. He wasn’t completely sure they were ok with it, but they let him be. Maybe it was a harsh thing to assume, but it seemed they were looking a bit regretful, for not spending enough time with him during all those years. Letting him stay with Rin was their way to say sorry, to let him go. That was the feeling he got.  
However, the happiness and the relief they showed was real. Real as his fear they could say no. He felt surprised by how much he was scared of such a chance. And it probably had been the same for Rin.  
Coming out of the bathroom after drying his hands, taking his bag, Haru saw him turn while closing the little fridge in his apartment, with a sweet smile on his face. It was time to part from each other already. But he had to say they didn't waste the little time they had left at all. Rin surely didn't forget his words from the previous day in Iwatobi and, as soon as they stopped by his apartment, he kind of assaulted him. Well… at least that was what he tried to tell to himself. It was true he basically found himself on the floor barely without the lower half of his clothes before he could even realize it, but it wasn’t like he wanted to avoid it. Pretty much the contrary. He actually tried to get angry at Rin because he went for it so quickly that in the end his bottoms were the only clothes he was deprived of, but by the time they laid down, his rationality was long gone. All that was just too exciting, so much that they completely forgot any kind of embarrassment or awkward feeling, at least _during_ … the process. They realized what they did or how only afterwards, and even Rin was suddenly feeling uncomfortable enough to act as if nothing happened, grumbling something about getting ready to leave while standing up, not even looking at him. That was only their second time and they were that eager already. Seriously…  
That overly passionate start aside, however, that had been another sweet experience. He was somehow hoping he couldn't grow even more attached to Rin, but it was seemingly impossible. He always knew Rin was a hopeless romantic, who, despite his sometimes rude attitude on the exterior, was unbelievably gentle and kind, but after they started dating, he discovered a whole new level of that side of him. Rin was able to always make him feel surprisingly at ease, never out of place, in literally any kind of situation. And truth was that he was loving that new physical aspect of their relationship. Aside from pleasant sensations, he understood they needed that closeness, to compensate, to forget, somehow, for a while, the distance between their lives.

«Shall we go, Haru?»

«Yeah…» he sighed, after putting on his shoes.

He lowered his head, observing Rin's sneakers in front of him, before the door. Goodbyes were always tough, but lately he was the one, rather than Rin, being more openly bothered by departures.  
Without a word, he let his head fall on Rin's shoulder.

«Oi…» was his boyfriend’s attempt to complain. «We are going to be late.»

He tried to sound out of time or patience, but his amused voice betrayed him.  
Getting a bit closer, Haru circled him with his arms, resting his hands on his back.

«Five minutes,» he mumbled, his voice suffocated by Rin's coat.

He heard him sigh, but he got hugged anyway. Rin's hands soon started caressing his hair, holding him even more tightly than he was doing with him. Breaking Rin's defense was way too easy. It was true he wanted to hug him, but he did it even because he had a feeling Rin wanted to do the same but couldn't admit it.  
He unwillingly checked his watch once or twice. Planes weren’t waiting for them. Five minutes had to be five minutes inevitably. But, as predicted, when he tried to let Rin go, he was the one being reluctant.

«Rin, I said five minutes.»

«Mmh…» was the lazy reply.

Getting no other reactions from him, Haru patted his back a couple of times. «Oi, we have to go for real.»

Rin sighed loosening his grip and raising his head. «We can still make it,» he muttered, kissing him right after.

Haru raised an eyebrow, trying to look a bit annoyed. «Weren't you the one in a rush?»

«Yeah, five minutes ago.»

Another kiss.

Sighing as well, Haru got free of his catch. «Hurry up or you'll miss the flight.»

That said, he took his luggage, handing it to him. The fastest his mind could stick to the fact Rin had to leave in less than three hours, the less his heart was going to complain about Rin's departure. Even so, after glancing at him for a second, he leaned forward, kissing him again, and Rin warmly responded.

«Anyway, you stripped me without asking again,» he then grumbled.

Rin flinched a little bit. «O-oi, you’re the one who asked for it.»

«Whatever,» Haru replied, turning towards the door.

Some more seconds of embarrassed silence followed.

«But…»

«What?» Rin asked.

Haru frowned even more, hiding his face on his boyfriend’s shoulder one more time. «It will be _my_ turn, when you come back.»

«What?!»

His cheeks going crimson, Rin froze, bewildered, but then he put a hand behind his neck.

«F-fine with me,» he muttered.

Finally going out of the house took definitely longer than they expected, but at last they arrived at the airport in time for the check-in.  
While walking inside the hall looking for Makoto and Sousuke, Haru hit Rin with an elbow.

«Did you tell her?»

«Well, yeah…» was Rin’s unsure reply.

«And?»

«I… decided to be quick and I told her about us and the fact I’ll stay at your place while she was cooking breakfast and…»

«… and?»

Rin stopped. «She kind of… froze and dropped the ladle.»

Haru stopped as well, not knowing if Rin’s shocked way to stare at the floor was funny or worrying.

«W-was it a bad thing?»

«It… depends on the points of view,» was the reply. «I ran to my bedroom without waiting for an answer… but after a few seconds, both my mother and my sister barged in and… well…» He stayed silent for a moment, fearfully swallowing. «I’ll just say that they really are mom and daughter.»

Haru stared quite resigned at Rin’s petrified face. Gou’s enthusiasm could be pretty scary and, knowing Rin had to endure it twice in a row, he couldn’t help but pity him a bit.

«Anyway,» Rin continued, beginning to walk again. «My mom is kind of carefree. After my father’s death, she was almost the contrary, quite overprotective, but now she keeps saying that, as long as we’re happy, she’s even happier. I mean… she quietly let me go to Australia for four years when I was still a kid!»

«Your mom is really amazing.»

«Well, where do you think my genes come from?» Rin boasted, gaining another jab by Haru right after.

«Oi, baka-couple!»

Hearing Sousuke’s voice not so far from them, the two boys spotted him and Makoto in the crowd.

«Are you having fun?» Rin grumbled kicking his best friend when he reached him.

«Oooooooooooooooooooi!! Rin-chaaaaaaaan!!»

«Uh? Nagisa?»

«Ah! Yeah!» Makoto nodded, waving at their friend running towards them. «He said he was coming too.»

The blond boy stopped there, panting. «Phew! I’m just in time!»

«Where’s Rei?» Makoto asked, looking around perplexed.

«At school. He had to study for a test,» Nagisa explained, taking a deep breath and standing up again. «Since I was free, I decided to come and greet you before you leave!»

«Much appreciated!» Rin smiled, handing a fist to his friend, who hit it.

Sousuke crossed his arms. «Will you be back in April, then? Is it confirmed?»

«Yes. Maybe even March. It will depend on how busy I’ll be with my team.»

«Send me your times,» Haru commanded, grumpy.

«Just watch my races on TV or PC, you idiot!»

But since Haru snorted, offended, Rin sighed with resignation. «I got it, I got it! Times, then!»

Seeing Haru immediately cheering up, everyone laughed.

«Aaaah!! It’s already goodbye-time!» Nagisa complained, blowing his cheeks, when the speakers announced the flight for Australia.

Makoto laughed. «He’ll stay overseas just for a couple of months, Nagisa!»

«Time will fly before you even notice it!» Rin added, raising a hand for a high-five in front of his golden-haired friend, moving then to Sousuke. «Say hi to Gou, Ai, Momo and Rei for me, guys!»

«Consider it done,» Sousuke replied, hitting his hand.

After him, Makoto did the same. «Have a safe trip, Rin!»

«Sure!»

Rin cheerfully stopped in front of Haru at last, but his partner seemed to be caught off guard by that greeting, and his reaction made Rin blush a bit.

«Oi, it’s just a high-five. Don’t stare at my hand with that face.»

Haru lightly snorted, looking away while hitting his palm. «Good trip,» he muttered.

An awkward atmosphere suddenly fell onto them, making them stay in silence in front of each other, their eyes pointed towards the floor, turning only after they noticed their friend’s curious gaze on them.

«W-what the heck were you expecting?» Rin grumbled.

«Oh… nothing,» the three replied, innocently looking around.

«Tsk! I’m going!»

And with those apparently offended words, Rin dragged his luggage away.  
Haru watched his angry back for a couple of seconds, then, with an irritated quick sigh, he ran to him.

«Oi, Rin!»

«What?!»

When his boyfriend turned, Haru grabbed his coat, pulling him closer and planting a kiss on his lips. As soon as he let him go, Rin’s face turned incredibly red.

«OI! What do you think you’re doing?!!» he blurted, covering his mouth with a sleeve, while taking a look at their friends, who were now waving at him, evidently satisfied.

«Why do you care?» Haru’s reply was. «We’ll never meet these people again in our whole life.»

«Oi, I think I’m having a déjà-vu,» Rin commented, annoyed, pressing his boyfriend’s temples between his fists, with Haru's enormous disappointment.

With that singular goodbye kiss, Rin left another time, but, just as he said, those two months or so were going to pass pretty quickly. During that period, all the athletes aiming for the World Championship had to fix their times in order to qualify, taking part to the few events left if needed and undergoing intensive trainings. Both Rin and Haru already took part to enough events, getting good times, but that still wasn’t enough.

«Yeah, if we want to take part to the same event, our times must be ever lower.» Rin sprawled on his chair, munching a snack in front of his PC. «But that shouldn’t be a problem, right, Haru?»

«Not at all,» Haru replied, shrugging and letting space to Makoto to show up next to him.

«Let me guess: 100m freestyle and medley relay for you as well.»

«Ah, not this time,» Rin responded, with a disappointed smile. «I will enroll for 100mt butterfly, instead of the relay.»

Sousuke watched him, perplexed. «Why? You wouldn’t let a relay slip through your fingers not even for all the gold in the world.»

«Oi, I’m not a relay maniac,» Rin said, sighing, then glaring at Haru, who just scoffed at him. «But since I’m not swimming in the Japanese Federation and I haven’t taken part to a relay with the national team yet, the coach won’t let me swim with a team I never swam with before.»

«Then come here and make him change his mind,» Haru lazily commented.

Rin blinked twice, looking then extremely full of hope. «You think he could?»

«Just as I said,» Sousuke remarked, amused by that enthusiastic reaction. «I’m going to work, guys. See you in a while, Makoto.»

«Yeah! I’m going too, Rin.» Makoto smiled. «And whatever event you’ll take part to, we'll come cheer for you!»

«Oi, that might be a dangerous promise, from now on,» Rin joked. «Get a girlfriend, instead!»

With Makoto imperceptibly flinching, Rin stared at him, perplexed. «What's with that reaction?» Then a sly grin appeared on his face. «Is there something I do not know?»

A perfect innocent smile showed up on the green-eyed’s face. «No, nothing.»

«You are not convincing. Come on! Spit it out!»

«Eh?!! I said there's nothing!»

«And you think I can believe you?»

«You really should!»

«Haru, you know something!» Rin exclaimed, changing aim.

Haru yawned, completely unconcerned. «I wonder…»

«Haru!» Makoto protested, in front of that dubious answer, before standing up. «I have to go to work too, now! Bye, Rin!»

«Oi, do you think you can get away with this?!»

«Get in the relay team!» his friend shouted, before running out.

Haru observed Rin still trying to stop Makoto. After all, their childhood friends were right about his relay-mania.  
And in fact, the relay was exactly what Rin set his mind on starting from that moment. Hastening his comeback, in just a few weeks he was in Japan again and, since he hadn’t had to take part to any other activity, he started spending all his time training with the national team.  
Unlike him, instead, he was still bound to his college team too, but practicing the exchanges for the relay was everything he was training on with the Japanese team. About six relay teams were formed using various combinations of the best athletes. The one reaching the needed standards was going to the championship. Rin was put in a couple of teams too. After all, even if he was training in Australia, his times during relays were considerably good.  
And, with Rin officially starting his activities in the national team, both of them could quit their already almost abandoned job, since the Federation was going to be the new source of their incomes. It wasn’t bad. Not at all. Maybe, the only bad point in all that was that all they were doing was swimming practically every day, almost going straight home to rest right after, and their social life couldn’t be that active anymore, aside from team meetings. Even having a chat through the PC with their friends was difficult, sometimes.  
In a way or another, they managed to resist for a couple of months. Summer was beginning, at last.

«It’s always this crazy, before important events,» Nobuyuki giggled, taking place at a table in a bar.

Another tiring day had just come to an end and they were hanging out with Nobu and Masa again. Lately, they were spending most of their time with them, since Nobu set his mind that they had to be the chosen team.

Haru took the menu. «I don’t mind it, as-»

«As long as you can swim, yeah,» Rin interrupted him, with a tired sigh, his eyes closed.

Haru glared at him, also because he was sprawled with arms wide open behind his back, next to him.

Masayoshi giggled, amused. «Haru looks particularly happy, during summer, indeed.»

«Too happy,» Rin complained, sticking out his tongue towards an annoyed Haruka, before ordering his drink.

«I never asked you when you started swimming together,» Masa said, once their order arrived, with his usual quiet smile. «You look like plenty tested teammates.»

«We met during the last year of grade school,» Haru replied, sipping his beverage.

Nobuyuki looked quite thrilled by that answer. «Whoa! Childhood friends, then!»

Rin smiled a bit nervously. «Ah… well… I don’t think we met all the requirements for that, at the time.»

«This idiot left for Australia right after tormenting me non-stop about relays for two months,» Haru quickly added, without even looking away from his glass.

Rin immediately frowned at him. «Oi! Are you still babbling about this?!»

Haru ignored him. «Don’t worry. You just have to bear him whenever he complains and it'll be just fine.»

«Oi!! Wanna talk about your fixation about water and mackerel?!»

«Mackerel is not as bothersome as your complaints.»

«So you do admit you're bothersome!»

«Look who's-!»

«We get it! We get it!» Masayoshi laughed, raising his hands to interrupt that sudden fight.

Nobuyuki, instead, was still staring at the two guys bickering face to face in front of him.

«Say,» he began, even if they weren’t listening to him. «By any chance, are you two dating?»

At those words, the fight got definitely stopped and both Haru and Rin turned towards him and Masayoshi, with widened eyes and a baffled face.  
After some seconds of silence, Rin glanced in the opposite direction, his cheeks blushing a bit.

«We’re not-»

«Kind of.»

«Ki-?!»

Feeling his face burning all of a sudden, Rin stared, completely bewildered, at his boyfriend. He almost couldn’t believe Haru said that. Now that he got used to their life as a couple, he was going back to his extremely nonchalant and straightforward self. And that was pretty bad, since apparently he wasn’t worrying very much about questions like that anymore.

Panicking, he watched his teammates with a nervous smile. «That’s not what he mea-»

But Nobu wasn’t listening to him anymore.

«I knew they were!» he exclaimed, happily satisfied, patting his friend’s shoulder.

«You should stop observing other people this much,» Masa quietly replied.

Nobu gave him a sly grin. «Are you jealous, Masa-chan?»

«Why should I? I’m just saying you might look scary.»

«I’m not scary! And I knew they were the perfect teammates for us!»

«You say that almost every time you meet a new entry.»

«But this time I was right!»

Rin and Haru stared at the singular conversation, moving their gaze from a friend to the other, halfway between curiosity and total confusion. After a few moments, the pairing noticed their perplexed looks.

«Ah, you see…» That said, Nobu circled his pal with an arm, smiling brightly. «We’re going out as well!»

Another few seconds of awkward silence followed, with Haru and Rin staring at them perfectly still.  
Rin was the first to recover, though he didn’t know how to react, embarrassingly scratching his head.

«Well, t-that’s…» Then he jumped all of a sudden. «Wait! I never said I’m going out with this guy!!»

«But Haru did,» Masa smiled.

Nobuyuki giggled, fulfilled. «Now I can freely talk about us with someone new: we can complain about our boyfriends, talk about lovey-dovey stuff and – yeah! – we can talk about spicy stuff too!»

«I don’t wanna do that!!!» Rin blurted, his face already redder than his hair.

«A toast to our awesome teammates!!»

«Oi, you!! Listen to me!»

And, with Masayoshi laughing and Haru slowly finishing his drink next to the respective noisy partners, that weird evening peacefully came to an end.

«I’m glad those two are our teammates. I have a feeling we might succeed,» Rin sighed, crossing his arms behind the head while climbing the stairs leading to the apartment. «I wasn’t expecting that development, though.»

«I suspected something, but I became sure when they asked about us so calmly,» Haru replied, opening the door. «Aren’t you relieved, now that we know another couple like us?»

Rin looked a bit floored and he blushed, turning. «W-why should I be? I already knew one or two same sex couples when I was in high school, you know? Being in a boys-only school, stuff like that happened, once in a while.»

«You never told me about it.»

«Was I supposed to?»

In front of Haru’s vaguely irritated expression, Rin put his hands in his pockets, looking away with an innocent face.

«Someone even hit on me, once or twice, probably.»

With the corner of his eye, he saw Haru frowning even more and he smirked, satisfied.

«Are you jealous?»

«Not at all,» was the grouchy reply.

As soon as he put the keys on the counter, Haru found Rin’s arms around his waist. After getting a couple of kisses on his neck, he sighed.

«Oi, what are you trying to do?»

«Don't ask pointless questions.»

Haru stayed still, letting him kiss his skin and his hair some more times. «We have to get up early. I want to sleep, or I won’t wake up in time, tomorrow.»

«You will,» Rin replied, snuggling against him even more while sliding his hands under his shirt.

«I have to shower.»

«You showered less than three hours ago.»

Haru watched Rin’s fingers now fumbling with his belt. «You're annoying.»

«I'm romantic, that's different.»

«You're a pervert, that's different.»

«Then why are you undressing?»

«Shut up,» Haru grumbled, quickly turning and throwing away his tracksuit.

Stumbling on each other’s lips and feet while getting rid of their clothes, they hardly managed to unfold a futon, before falling on it.

«You should sleep, Haru, or you won’t wake up, tomorrow,» Rin panted, mocking him a bit.

Haru glared at his grin in front of his face, before circling his shoulders, dragging him down and intensely kissing him again. It was ending like that more times than he was willing to admit. He was really stuck with that guy, now. But it was perfect. Having Rin living with him was perfect. Rin staying in Japan for so long was perfect. Being in the same team heading to a World Championship and hopefully even the Olympics was also perfect. Not to mention having found a lot of new lives, new sights, new people, yet still staying with their friends just like the old times.  
According to what his grandma always said, maybe he was supposed to be an ordinary person, now that he was over his twenties, but if he had to be sincere, he wasn't feeling like one at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're almost done... Are you ready for the last chapter? I'm not. But all nice things have to end, sooner or later. Well, at least I hope this was a nice thing, for you. XD Thanks for sticking with me till now! See you next week for the conclusion of this story!! Kisses and hugsssss!!! ~♥
> 
> P.S. Have you ever seen my cute Nobu and Masa? If not, here they are! :D http://yohao88.deviantart.com/art/An-awesome-pair-of-dorks-547515747


	17. Towards the future

«I’m not going to cry.»

«If you say so…»

«… maybe I’m changing my mind, actually.»

Haru sighed, resigned, seeing Rin’s eyes ending up in tears as usual. Their coach just told them they were in the chosen team for the men’s medley relay at the championship. How to blame him? More than two months of intensive training gave their results. Definitely. Anyway, if he was crying already for such a thing, he couldn’t even imagine what he would do, in case he ended up winning some medals. Hopefully, he was going to find out.  
Not knowing what to do exactly, he pondered to pat his partner’s shoulder, at least, but Nobu preempted whatever he was going to do, jumping on Rin as soon as he saw his reaction to the good news.

«Rin, you’re in the relay team with us!!!» he exclaimed, hugging him with a big smile, with Rin’s big displeasure.

Masayoshi, next to them, laughed. «Nobu-chan, you’re noisy!»

«Idiots,» Haru grumbled, watching Rin who was now trying to get rid of his teammate. At least he wasn’t crying anymore.

Sighing, he smiled relieved, raising a thumb towards Rin as soon as he looked at him and observing the big grin that appeared on his face right after. Countless times , Rin told him how happy to be in a relay team with him again he was. And he was sharing that feeling, even if he never told him out loud.

«Come here, you two!!» Nobu ordered, grabbing both him and Masa and pulling them in a collective hug. «I’ve been knowing you for just a few months, but I love you already, guys!!»

«Do I have to be jealous?» Masayoshi joked.

Even other teammates were joining them despite the delusion of not being chosen, while other ones were more bitter about it, but the excitement for the upcoming beginning of the event was perceivable for everyone, like electricity in the air.  
With Nobuyuki screaming his joy and complimenting everyone quite loudly, the selection for the championship came to an end. Trainings were almost over, flights and hotels were already booked and the few days off before the departure were going by quickly. Just some more weeks and they could leave for Italy.  
It was unbelievable. But it was real.  
Haru stared at Rin’s happy face, while he was keeping him close. They were deserving it. They really were. Whatever happened to their life, he was praying that could never change.

***

«This evening, horror movie!!!» Nagisa exclaimed, raising his arms to the ceiling.

Next to Rin, Makoto was already panicking. «Nagisa, you’re doing that on purpose! This is the fourth time!»

«But it’s just a movie, Mako-chan!»

«It’s not just a movie!!!»

«I’ll pick the less scary I have, ok? Here, Haru-chan! Popcorn!»

«Ah, thanks.»

Taking the bowls Nagisa was giving him, Haru headed towards the couch were Makoto was complaining. About a week before their departure, they had another get-together at Nagisa, Rei and Ai’s place. It was the only spacious apartment available, with a good TV and a couple of sofas too, and so they often met there to watch movies and spend time together, just like they used to do in Iwatobi at his place.

«Are your mother and Hikaru ok, Haruka-senpai?» Rei asked, with a smile.

Haru nodded, handing one of the bowls to him. «Everything is going on well, it seems. Thanks for asking.»

«He was like a present for you,» Ai added, cheerfully. «Being born the day after your birthday!»

«Aaaaah! I want to see him!» Nagisa complained. «It’s not fair that only Mako-chan and Rin-chan met him!»

«You can go pay a visit, if you want. My parents would be happy. After the championship is over, we can drop by all together,» Haru replied, for the blonde boy’s great joy.

«It’s a deal, then!! Now, movie time!!»

Makoto got desperate again. «Nagisa!! Haru, do something!!»

As he sighed resigned about to sit next to his friend, Haru got dragged down by Rin without any warning, finding himself sat on his legs.

«Oi, I almost dropped everything!» he protested, glaring at his partner, who ignored that reaction.

«Makoto, you should be used to horror movies, by now, since Nagisa wants to see only those.»

«Yet you enjoy them only if there’s some drama,» Rei commented, from the other couch, bothering his red-headed friend with a smile.

Sousuke yawned from the single sofa. «Makoto, you can hug those two idiots, if you’re scared.»

«Oi,» Rin protested, picking some popcorns.

Momo launched himself next to Makoto with a smile. «Well, there’s more space, this way!»

«It’s hot,» Haru complained, still trapped in his boyfriend’s catch.

«There’s a fan in front of you,» Rin snorted, passing the bowl to Momo.

«Then don't complain because I'm heavy again.»

Rin blushed a bit, getting angry. «As long as you fall asleep on me in the bathtub, of course I’d compl- Ah.»

Realizing what he accidentally said, he stopped with a frozen smile on his face.  
Haru looked resigned rather than embarrassed, while Nagisa contemplated them, interested, leaning his arms on the sofa, behind Ai and Rei.

«Eeeeeeeh… I want a love life like yours.»

At those words, someone couldn’t hold in the enjoyment, especially after Rin’s face went crimson.

«Your life as a couple seems fulfilling, I must say,» Sousuke commented, laughing.

«Oi! I-it's not what you think!!» Rin protested.

Nagisa grinned satisfied. «Eheh! I love when you two let these little details slip out. Maybe we should exchange embarrassing stories again, instead of watching a movie.»

«Oi!!»

«When’s the wedding?» Rei added, still chuckling, with Ai nodding amused next to him.

This time, even Haru glared at his friend, while Rin flinched, before looking away.

But Nagisa was already fantasizing about the ceremony. «I can already picture it. We’ll all go to Australia – because you can’t marry here – and Lori and Russell will come too and you two will be dressed in white. After a touching ceremony, there'll be an awesome banquet-»

«Nagisa!!» Rin tried to stop that river of words, but it was quite useless.

«-with music and you two will dance together. You'll go on a romantic honeymoon in Europe and-»

«Cut it out!!!»

«Ahah!! I think you watched too many movies, Nagisa!» Makoto laughed.

«This is not going to happen!» Rin objected.

«Yet your romantic radar is going crazy,» Sousuke remarked.

Makoto agreed with a giggle. «Definitely.»

Rin just snorted, crossing his arms and looking away, his face even more red.

«Oi, don’t decide things on your own,» Haru complained, trying to stand up but glaring at Rin that prevented him from doing so.

Momo smiled, curious and enthusiastic. «Then let’s guess who the one proposing will be!»

«I bet it’s Rin-senpai,» Ai replied, serious.

«Oi!» the concerned guy protested.

Nagisa happily sat between Rei and Ai with his bowl of popcorns. «Haru-chan, what would you say, if Rin were to ask you?»

Makoto laughed. «This is getting serious!»

Haru clicked his tongue, looking away. «I don’t care at all. Plus he doesn’t even live here, but if he comes back for good, I might at least think about it,» he replied, calmly taking some popcorns. «However, I really fear I won’t be able to put up with him till that day.»

After those sarcastic words, Rin threw him down, offended. «Then forget I’ll ever ask you, idiot!!»

Immediately realizing what he said, he blushed all over again. «With this, I’m not saying I want to ask him!!» he shouted, pointing at Haru, who was standing up, irritated.

Nagisa wasn’t surrendering yet. «I want to carry the rings!»

«Oi, Nagisa, stop it!!!»

«Aaaaaah!! Rin-chan is molesting me!!» Nagisa shouted, laughing, running away when Rin got up and started chasing him around the room.

«Oi! Come here and I’ll show you how I molest you!!»

Haru promptly took his boyfriend’s seat on the sofa, forcing him to sit on the armrest when he came back because it was the only place left.

After laughing at Rin’s great disappointment, Makoto sighed. «I must say I never expected you two to be the first ones to settle down.»

«Oi, I'm not settling down,» Haru grumbled.

Rin gave him another upset look.

«Then you're next, Makoto?» Haru continued, to get a little revenge, leaning to the couch.

His childhood friend blushed. «W-what?»

«Yeah, yeah!» Nagisa agreed. «What do you have to say about that cute girl at the swim club?»

Makoto looked even more troubled. «Uh?»

Rei adjusted his glasses. «What was her name? _Karin-chan_?»

«Eh?! I'm not… We're not dating!!»

«Yet,» Sousuke added, lazily.

«Well, to me it seems she likes you,» Momo giggled.

Haru shrugged. «Actually…»

«They already went out together once or twice, right, Makoto?» Sousuke smiled.

Everyone else gave out a surprised. «EEEH?!!»

«She asked him,» Sousuke continued. «Just as friends, she said. That wasn't convincing at all.»

Makoto began playing with his thumbs, more and more nervous, not looking at anyone for some moments.

«I… asked her out properly,» he said, quickly, in the end.

«And?!» was what everyone exclaimed in unison.

The poor guy blushed even more. «We're going on a date the next weekend.»

At those words, happy and noisy congratulations filled the room.

«Way to go, Mako-chan!!»

«It was about time!» Sousuke smirked. «It's been ages!»

«You're the one to talk…» Rin commented, taking some more popcorns.

«What?»

Sousuke frowned, perplexed, and Rin glared at him.

«Don't play dumb. I'm not blind.»

Everyone else was observing the two friends, confused.

Nagisa’s eyes were already sparkling with curiosity. «Eh? Who is it? Who is it, Sou-chan?»

Sousuke was clearly beginning to feel quite uneasy. «Oi, Ri-»

«I'll give you one chance only,» Rin interrupted him. «Will you ask her?»

«Ugh…»

«So?»

Sousuke stayed silent, panicking a bit, and in the end Rin sighed.

«From the day she transferred to Tokyo to study, you’re always together. It may be “like the old times” as you two say, but you both look like you're enjoying this a bit too much. Sincerely, I'm almost tired to hear her talking about you, so do something.»

«Rin, I-»

«Mind that I'm not handing her over to anyone.»

«Oi, it’s not up to you to decide if I-»

«Make her suffer and you’ll regret it.»

More and more troubled by his friend’s glare on him, in the end, Sousuke surrendered, looking away while leaning on his hand, to hide his face as much as possible.

«Good,» he mumbled.

«Good,» Rin repeated, still extremely serious.

Despite that, the both of them blushed a bit, clearly embarrassed by that awkward conversation.  
All their friends were still staring at them, in complete silence, but only Momo failed to understand what was going on.

«Eh? Eh? Who is it? Who is it? I don’t get it.»

«You don't wanna know,» Rin replied, stealing the popcorn bowl from him.

«Uuuuh?» the boy protested, startling right after. «Wait! Don’t tell me… It's Gou-sa-?!»

«Shut up, Momo,» Sousuke grumbled.

Haru quietly took some popcorns, not even looking at him anymore. «Sousuke, you're blushing.»

«Oi, Nanase!»

Rin burst out laughing at those words, immediately followed by everyone except the young Mikoshiba, who kept complaining for a while, in a not-so-inner battle to honorably accept the fact that he lost to his senpai.  
And in that same eager atmosphere, time rapidly passed by, almost every day, despite everyone’s jobs and plans. There was something weird in the air. As if another chapter of their lives was coming to an end.  
Or so Haru thought, while working on the dinner at his stove. He was feeling somehow uneasy. New things were always so bothersome.  
While he was checking the taste, Rin approached him from behind, hugging him while calmly staring at what he was doing. Haru let him be, going on with his work. Despite the fact it was summer and that he was in front of a stove, he mysteriously wasn’t minding Rin’s clinginess, right now. Did he sense his restlessness or was he in the same conditions? Whatever the reason, he was way too glad to have him there.

«Don't ever leave my side,» he whispered, his thoughts somehow making their way to his mouth.

Rin giggled, amused by his serious expression. «Why this, now? It isn't like you at all.»

Haru kept grilling the fish. «I want to see how much I can resist before growing tired of you.»

«Oi…»

Without another word, Haru turned, hugging him and burying his face into his shirt. Rin didn’t even bothered commenting his gesture, this time, and stayed still for a while, before quietly taking a few utensils and going on cooking, despite the little hindrance against his chest.

«What are you doing?» said impediment asked, moving his head on Rin’s shoulder.

«Preventing our dinner from burning,» was the reply. «But my apron is heavy and uncomfortable.»

As a response, Haru squeezed him on purpose, making him loudly complain.  
After dinner, he finally finished to control all the stuff they had to put in their luggage, putting down the pen with a sigh. On his left, Rin was lazily watching TV next to the fan, looking for something interesting. The news were talking about the upcoming departure of the athletes participating in the championship, but he wasn’t even feeling like paying attention. Standing up and putting his checklist on a shelf, he tried to move the table, but Rin was leaning on it.

«Oi, go away from there.»

«It’s still early,» Rin protested shifting his glass and the remote on the TV stand.

Haru ignored him, noisily making space for two futon, but, as soon as he passed by Rin again with the folded mattress, the red-head grabbed his shirt, dragging him down.

«Oi, Ri-!!»

«Will you stay still for a second?! You’re going around in circles since this morning!»

He said that almost without watching him, apparently not diverting much of his attention from the screen. However, Haru felt the catch around his waist tightening and, leaning on him, more or less sat between his legs, he stayed there, absently staring at the TV. Rin was right, after all. He was extremely agitated, that day, willing to admit it or not. Being in Rin’s arms was already calming him a bit, though.  
He looked up at his face for a while. Even Rin wasn’t perfectly relaxed, but his nervousness was more similar to happiness, rather than anxiousness. Unlike him, Rin was thrilled by changes and big news and that was really reassuring. There was a storm in his head, but Rin was his life line again.  
Sighing, he curled a bit more against him and, almost lost in those thoughts, he lightly kissed his jaw.  
At first, Rin didn't react at all, but after the second kiss he giggled. Then, when Haru drew him even closer by raising his arms and circling his neck, he clung to him a bit more, trying to look at his partner still repeatedly sticking his lips to his neck.

«What's up with you?» he asked, laughing, amused.

Haru showed him his typical pouty face. He knew that wasn’t something he used to do very often, but he couldn’t avoid it. He had to get rid of that stress, somehow, and, in absence of a pool to swim in, Rin was the closest and most effective source of relax around. Pulling him closer, he kissed him.

Rin kissed him back once, twice, but then he giggled again, grinning, when Haru slid his hands under his shirt. «If you want to do something other than watching TV, just say it.»

«Whatever.»

«You’re really weird, today,» the red-head lightly sighed, receiving more kisses and then smiling sweetly.

It was rare for Haru to take the initiative like that. Taking the lead was one thing, but the first move almost never came from him, at least until recently. However, he noticed his uneasiness and, to be sincere, he was sharing it too, so he wasn’t that surprised by that unusual behaviour. During the four months they spent together, he learned that, apparently, Haru seemed to become particularly prone to physical contact, whenever he was agitated over something.

«Anxious about the departure?»

«Not really,» Haru replied, decisively taking Rin's shirt off and intensely kissing him again.

Surrendering to those exceptional signs of affection and desire, Rin embraced him, quickly turning off the TV after fumbling for the remote.

«Idiot,» he murmured, letting Haru push him down.

***

Deeply sighing after lying on the futon next to Rin again, Haru stared at the ceiling, still a bit numb for the pleasure they just shared, listening to the fan refreshing his bare skin.

«Only two days left... uh?»

Beside him, Rin crossed his arms under his head. «It's a good thing. Tomorrow we are free to relax a bit more.»

«Yeah…»

He was feeling a lot calmer, now that he gave vent to his tension somehow, but avoiding the tornado of thoughts in his brain was out of question. The idea of leaving to swim in another continent was beginning to look a bit more exciting, rather than worrying, anyway. Rin’s eagerness was definitely contagious.

«Let's go out tomorrow, Haru.»

At those words, he turned, perplexed. «Out?»

«Yeah…» Rin glanced in the opposite direction, embarrassed. «Like… on a date?»

«Date?»

Hearing Haru’s not very enthusiastic voice, Rin raised his head, blushing a bit more. «Oi, we never did that! We basically spent all our free time together swimming and going out with friends or teammates!»

After a couple of seconds of silence, Haru frowned, turning away as well. «We're living together. What's the point?»

Rin glared at him. «Can you be at least a bit romantic, for once?»

Haru sighed again. He surely was vexing.

«Ok, as long as you don't try to hold hands in public again.»

«You are the one to talk, after kissing me at the airport!»

«That was payback, it was different.»

«To hell your payback!»

«Aren't kisses at the airport romantic stuff? You should be happy.»

«I hate you.»

«I know.»

Rin kept grumbling quite irritated and Haru just curled up facing the opposite direction, closing his eyes.

«Shut up and sleep,» he ordered. «Unless you want to sleep during our date.»

«Oi!»

Giving him another annoyed look after lifting on an arm, Rin observed Haru in silence for a few moments, before falling on the pillow again, clinging to him.

«I was thinking…» he began, uncertain, after a while. «If… I were to come back to Japan…»

At those words, Haru widened his eyes.

«If I do that, why don't we find a bigger and decent apartment and really start living together?»

Surprised, Haru turned. It took him a while to reply and, when he did, he put on his grumpy expression, speaking the first words that came to his puzzled mind.

«Are you saying you don't like my apartment?»

Rin sat up again, exasperated. «Were you even listening to me?!»

«I was,» Haru grumbled, his back towards him again.

«Then answer, dammit! This place is too small for two people!»

Another pause.

«If… our swimming career goes well, I could think about it.»

«It will go well. Don't add useless _if's_ , you idiot.»

Haru stayed silent for a bit more. He wasn’t expecting such a conversation.

«Are you… really thinking about coming back here?»

Now that Rin raised that opportunity, he found out he was actually hoping it could happen. He wasn’t minding their long-distance relationship that much, but…

«I don't know,» the reply was, anyway. «It was just an idea.»

«Ok…»

«I mean… Now I'm in the national team. Living here would be more comfortable.»

«I guess so…»

«Then I could enroll in another team, because that way we can be real rivals again. Maybe I could join the Mikoshiba’s. Or Nobu, or Masa.»

«They all would be happy about it.»

«Ahah! Indeed. Not to count that sometimes I'm a bit tired of talking to you-» An imperceptible pause. «-guys through a computer screen.»

Haru noticed that little gap between his words and sighed lightly. «You're right.»

«Or you could come to Australia with me.»

«What?»

«Aaah… Don’t mind it.»

The mood was suddenly a bit awkward and darker, suspended between all those opportunities and a reality where all that was something way easier said than done.

«For a moment, I thought you were going to talk about marriage or something again,» Haru muttered, to raise the spirits.

In fact, Rin sat up, blushing. «UH?!!!»

Embarrassed by that reaction as well, Haru curled up even more. «But if it's just sharing the rent for a new house, there's no problem.»

«What would this mean?! Was it just a matter of money, to you?!»

«Not really.»

«Idiot.»

Plopping on the futon, Rin stared at the ceiling. What Haru just said made him remember the conversation they had with their friends. It was just for fun, but it made him think.

«Were you… serious when you said that thing?»

«Which one?»

«The one about marr-» The red-head felt his face burn up again. «You're the one who said it, jeez!! About… thinking about it if I decide to come back to stay!»

Haru observed his own hand on the pillow. Why that topic now? He surely wasn’t the only one being extremely nervous, that night.

«We've been dating for two years only,» he replied, feeling his face heating up. «I don't know how much I will be able to stand you.»

Rin punched his back. «You've been knowing me for far more than two years, you moron!»

Haru finally turned towards him, troubled by all that insistence. «So you really do want a serious answer in the end!»

«The-one-who's-actually-thinking-about-it said,» Rin smirked.

Haru snorted, blushing even more and giving him the cold shoulder. «I’m not. You are.»

Rin giggled, amused, trying to look at his face. «Come on, admit it!»

«Cut it out, you and your romantic stuff!»

«You're not answering my question.»

«And I won’t.»

Rin watched him with a smile, before focusing on the ceiling again. He wasn’t able to predict what Haru’s answer would have been. Maybe he was right. Maybe they really hadn’t spent enough time together yet. And living abroad wasn’t going to help. Coming home… He couldn’t even believe his brain was actually considering that option, after all he went through to be able to go back to Australia. It was a weird situation. Almost unreal.

«Oi, Haru…»

Wondering what he had to say now, Haru glanced towards him, but his partner didn’t do the same.

«Would you really do it?»

Hearing those serious words, Haru sighed, daunted. So that was the point, in the end. That idiot was still scared of being left behind. After all that time, after all that happened between them. Really…  
Staring at Rin’s pensive and a bit disquiet expression for a few seconds, he sat up, irritated, climbing over him and sitting astride his hips.

At first surprised, Rin mischievously grinned. «What? Another round?»

Haru ogled at him for a moment, totally unperturbed. Then he suddenly started tickling him.

«Oi, Haru! Wait- No… no, no, no, no, no!!»

Not able to hold it in anymore, Rin burst out laughing, trying to avoid that funny torture.  
When his hands got blocked, Haru stopped, watching his now brighter expression. Sometimes, he was still talking about stuff like that, but he knew that was a way to get attention, rather than something he was really thinking. They were worried by the exact same things and that, ironically, was why he was sure none of those things could ever happen. They were just too scared of losing sight of each other.  
Anyway, he was still hating to see Rin’s smile disappear from his face and being sure it happened the least possible was almost his life mission, by now. It was really unthinkable for him to live without that smile.  
Lightly sighing, he gave him a tender look.

«I love you, Rin.»

Rin’s serene face instantly caught fire.

«UH?!» he exclaimed, stupefied by those sincere words, unheard till that very moment.

Haru ignored his reaction. Lacing their fingers and pushing his hands on the pillow, he leaned over him, gently but fervently kissing his lips.

«Really… what's with you today?» Rin asked, miserably failing to sound annoyed.

Haru quietly stared at him. «Weren't you supposed to say "I love you too"?»

«After all the times you didn't? Forget it!»

Amused, Rin threw him down on the mattress, beginning to tickle him as well, while Haru, soon surrendering to laughter, kept doing the same to make him stop.  
For real… worrying was nothing more than a good luck ritual.

***

The morning after, they woke up in no rush probably for the first time in ages, getting ready to go out.

«Oi, Haru, hurry up!»

Haru glared at the guy standing impatient by the opened door. «There’s no need to rush. You don’t even know where you want to go.»

«I do have a few ideas,» Rin protested, offended.

Haru crouched down to put on his shoes. «Some common _romantic_ clichés, I bet.»

Rin immediately snapped. «What’s wrong with it?! This will be the first and probably the last date in quite some time! Unless you have better plans, I’ll lead!!»

«Oi, I got it,» Haru grumbled, standing up.

Rin observed his grumpy face, checking then his whole being without noticing. He didn’t wear something in particular nor changed his look, but, maybe because of the weird mood or the summer sunlight playing with his blue eyes, there was something a bit different. He suddenly felt as if he never gave a proper look to him.

«You’re beautiful,» he murmured, without thinking.

At first a bit confused and surprised by that random compliment, Haru literally took a step back, seriously troubled and embarrassed.

«Uh?!»

That reaction made Rin realize what he just said and he hurried to raise his hands, rapidly waving them in front of him.

«T-that’s not what I meant! I wasn’t talking about- I mean…»

And he stopped, his face redder than the scarlet shirt he was wearing, looking away while panicking to find a good excuse.  
Haru stared at him for some seconds, still astonished enough. What was that silly high-school-crush atmosphere, now? Not to mention the slight surprise in Rin’s voice when he said that, as if he never saw him before. He caught him off guard, that was for sure. But, coming from Rin, it wasn’t that out of place, after all.  
Without saying anything, he observed him head to toes and back: he really dressed up for that occasion. His eyes spotted a bracelet that wasn’t there, that morning, when they got up. Always with those little accessories… But he had to admit Rin had a good taste in clothing.  
After thinking that, he got a glimpse of what probably brought Rin to say what he said a few moments before. He actually never really paid attention, since his looks weren’t the reason he fell for him at all, but now he was finding himself to acknowledge that Rin was quite the charming guy.

«You are… cool too,» he mumbled, playing with the collar of his shirt to try hiding his face in it.

He didn’t even receive any kind of reply from Rin. Why that idiotic embarrassment? Having sex was routine, yet going on a date could trouble them that much? Despite that nonsense, they both remained in an awkward silence by the door, till the moment Rin finally dragged him out, babbling that they were late.  
As he expected, Rin’s picks about that improvised date ended up being quite obvious, but after all, the upcoming departure for the World Championship was blinding the both of them. Their minds were already there, their hearts were fully content and the only thing that mattered was spending some relaxing time together. He turned down the amusement park – and Rin was glad he did, because he was too anxious to enjoy it, or so he said – but he couldn’t refuse a visit to the aquarium, despite his brain telling him that was terribly unoriginal and predictable. The fun fact was that, despite his romantic way of thinking, Rin was perfectly aware of it. That extremely clichéd date between two grown-up men ended up being enjoyable exactly because it was so banal it bordered on ridiculous.

«We should do this again,» Rin said, laughing of his own choices after they sat at a table in an ice-cream shop, to get a break from the summer heat.

Haru couldn’t avoid smiling. Despite the mediocrity, that was something they never did, after all. They never needed to go on a date to know each other better, since they were accustomed to each other’s presence already. It was just an attempt to do something couple-like. And it wasn’t too bad.  
After an ice-cream based lunch, they decided that an ordinary date like that one couldn’t end without a movie. Giving Haru the possibility to choose was a great mistake, because a profoundly reluctant Rin got dragged to see an animation movie about a little boy who could turn into a fish, but within the end he even shed some tears, with Haru sighing resigned next to him. After that, however, they were really out of ideas.

«I can’t think of anything,» Rin grumbled, scratching his head. «I tried to get busy to avoid thinking about tomorrow, but it’s not very effective.»

«Agree,» Haru replied, putting his hands in his pockets, absently looking somewhere.

That was definitely that date’s purpose, in the end, but they were so excited that trying to think about something else was completely useless.

«Then, we could sit somewhere and talk about tomorr-»

«Deal,» was the immediate response Rin gave.

They found a free bench in a park when it was late noon already, but they managed to talk for a few minutes only, before the phone interrupted them.

«It’s Nobu,» Rin said, observing the screen, a bit surprised. «He asks if we want to join them for a drink. I bet they’re going crazy as well.»

«I’m not going crazy,» Haru protested.

Rin laughed. «We’ll see tomorrow! So? We join them?»

«It’s ok with m-»

Haru got stopped by his phone suddenly ringing too.

«It’s a phone call from Makoto.»

«Makoto? It’s a bit early to say goodbye.»

Haru answered the call and Rin waited in silence till seeing the perplexed expression on his partner’s face after he hung up.

«What’s happening?»

«He wants us to join him at the beach.»

«The beach?»

Haru shrugged and Rin scratched his head as confused as him, but they rushed to take the first train heading towards the seaside anyway.  
They got there when the sky was beginning to turn orange.

«I don’t come here often,» Haru observed, listening to the sea waves running back and forth on the sand, while walking on the street lining the beach, looking for their friends.

Rin giggled. «I find it hard to believe.»

Haru gave him a bad look and then went back to his gazing at the ocean. With its skyscrapers, lights and buildings surrounding the view, Tokyo bay was quite different from Iwatobi, but the tranquil atmosphere descending upon that place during the evening was similar enough. He really loved that.

«Oi, is this Nagisa’s voice?» Rin asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Actually, some noisy voices were coming from somewhere not much ahead of them. Looking through the trees to find the source of that chit-chat, they found some stairs leading to the beach right after hearing Makoto’s voice nervously saying «Oi! They’ll be here soon! Keep quiet!».  
As soon as they went down a few steps, they both stopped, surprised. In front of them, Nagisa and Momo were agitatedly discussing over the folded banner they were holding the ends of, and all their other friends, Gou included, were clearly getting ready for something, with Makoto apparently in charge of the situation.  
Turning, their green-eyed friend suddenly noticed them, changing his perplexed expression in an agitated one.

«Aaaaah!! Oi, everyone, they’re here!!»

With Nagisa and Momo running around for a few seconds before managing to unfold the banner in their hands, everyone quickly rushed to take their place around the long stripe of cloth.

«Compliments for everything and good luck!!» they all shouted, each one pulling the string of their party-poppers, in a rain of colors.

Unable to get a word in, with their mouths wide open, still frozen in an attempt to go down the stairs, Haru and Rin stared at the cheerful smiles on their friends’ faces and at the messy writing on the banner saying _“Congratulations on the World Championship!”_ and a little _“and the engagement”_ written between brackets and deleted with a stroke in a corner.  
Everyone waited for some kind of reaction for a while. Then, realizing the surprise shocked them more than expected, Makoto kindly smiled.

«We thought about doing this tomorrow at the airport, but we decided it was better this way.»

Haru recovered enough to wrinkle his eyebrows and say «We’re not engaged,» with a grumpy face, gaining a jab in the stomach from Rin in front of him.

«This was completely unexpected,» the redhead said, flopping on the step below him with a smile. «Thanks a lot, guys!»

«It’s been a pleasure!» Gou replied, happily skipping towards them.

«But why the seaside?» Haru asked, confused.

Momo brightly smiled. «Because Nagisacchi said…»

«… that this place feels like home!» Nagisa concluded, satisfied.

At those words, Haru remained speechless again, sitting behind Rin.

«Oi, don’t you dare to cry, now,» Sousuke smiled, putting his hands in his pockets, while watching Rin’s seriously conflicted expression.

«I’m not crying,» Rin protested, though sniffling a bit.

«I even added a special inscription, did you see that?!» Nagisa exclaimed, proudly pointing at the words between brackets. «I did it especially for- Eeeeeeh?!!!»

Suddenly noticing that it got cancelled, he started complaining, disappointed.

«I did it,» Rei replied, adjusting his glasses. «It was not beautiful and not romantic at all.»

«Eeeeeh?! But I wrote it because it was romantic and Rin-chan likes romantic stuff!!»

«At least wait till they’re engaged for real!!»

«But you were the one who told them to get married, Rei-chan!»

«T-this is not the point!!»

«Calm down, you two,» Ai uneasily said, raising his hands.

But Nagisa, with another scream, claimed his revenge towards Rei and decided he had to roll him up in the banner, something that Momo eagerly wanted to help him with.  
Observing Makoto and Ai at first laughing and then trying to stop their friends noisily running around in circles, Rin took out his phone, to text Nobu and Masa.

«Sorry, guys, but we’re not gonna make it, this evening, right, Haru?»

«Yeah,» Haru smiled, while watching Nagisa and Momo now aiming at Sousuke and Gou, with their enormous disappointment.

«You see?» Rin said, putting his phone back into his pocket. «This is what it means to be romantic. You should learn from them.»

Haru grumbled an annoyed «Shut up,» but he sat in a lower step, putting his chin on Rin’s shoulder.  
They stayed like that for a while, enjoying the evening breeze and their irreplaceable friends joyfully playing on the sand in front of the sunset. That really was a pleasant surprise.

«Have I ever told you I'm happy we're in this together?» Rin asked, leaning on Haru behind him.

«Hundreds of times,» was the bored reply.

But when Rin looked up with a childish grin, even Haru sweetly smiled, bending on him to kiss his lips.

«I think I’ll go enjoy the sea, now,» Rin said, still tenderly looking at him. «Are you in?»

«Absolutely.»

And after another kiss, getting rid of their shoes, they joined everyone on the beach.  
Rushing to save his sister, Rin managed to throw both Nagisa and Momo in the water, dragging Sousuke and Ai with him when his friends pushed him down too. Soon, none of them was dry anymore, not even Gou.

After getting splashed again, Makoto took off his shirt, turning towards Haru behind him, with a smile. «At this point, let’s go in too, Haru.»

Haru happily nodded, watching Rin now trying to protect his sister from the splashes with Sousuke, even if all of them were laughing. Tenderly smiling, he raised his head to the orange sky above their heads. As long as he could be with everyone dear to him, as long as their lives were linked by a lot of colorful threads, as long as fate could keep them close, nothing was impossible. The future wasn’t that scary anymore. Rather, he was looking forward to it. A lot of people helped him to get there, first of all his precious friends. He could never be thankful enough, towards them, towards his family, towards Rin, towards all the people that crossed his path. There was still a long way to go. However, he wasn’t afraid of changes anymore. So many good things were awaiting them, and so many bad things too, probably, but that was simply how fate worked. There was nothing to worry about. They just had to have faith. He was finally able to see the shining future Rin was always talking about and it was closer than ever. What was it, now? _If one day they could fly to the edge of space together, then the sky spreading out endlessly before them-  
_ A hand suddenly waved in front of his face.

«Oi, Haru! Oi, Mr. Head-in-the-clouds! You’re going to miss all the fun! Come here!»

Looking down, Haru saw Rin holding out his hand, with a tender smirk. Smiling, he took it, getting dragged away. Yeah, that was it. That shining sky spreading out endlessly before them… would have been exactly like that, right in the palm of his hand. All he had to do was reach for it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What to say? All nice things have to finish. At least I hope this was a nice story. XD I really enjoyed writing it. It made me love more that some characters more than I used to and it also made me rediscover some characters and relatiosnhips I never appreciated enough. It's been a nice adventure. Thanks a lot for sharing it with me!! :) ♥
> 
> Oh! And stay tuned!! There will be more stories aaaaaaand................ I'm not completely sure this one is over... ;) You will hear (or read) from me again!!! *evvillaugh*
> 
> Thanks a lot for reading!!! See you next time!!!! :D *chu~♥*

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo... This is my first fanfiction about Free! and my very first fanfiction written in English. I hope you'll enjoy it despite the mistakes I might write! Tee-hee!! :P This said... See you next water time!


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